summary: you tell arvin how you feel about him after dinner & things between you two change
warnings: swears, smoking
You stood on arvin's front porch, fiddling with your locket as you looked out at the sunset. it wasn't as gorgeous as the ones from the day prior but it was something to help distract you from your thoughts.
arvin had asked you at school if you were up to spend some time with him tonight, without lenora, his grandma or his uncle around. you said yes of course & he told you to be over by seven. you came, you helped cook some food for the both of you & you felt that tonight would be special.
secretly, you were hoping arvin would tell you he liked you back. but it was a long shot, you knew that very well. he was a troubled boy, but there's a caring & fragile side to him that you fell for. even though you & arvin are just friends, it feels like it could be so much more.
he holds your hand sometimes, places a hand on your lower back if your walking in town or at church, he compliments you & gives you a jacket when your cold. you help him with school, you stay with him if he needs someone to talk to & you always comfort him.
for instance, he was looking at your adoringly while you were cooking & it made your heart race. you felt a connection but you doubt yourself every now & then, especially when pretty girls from school talk to him & call the house— which had just happened.
genevieve goodall— a sweet & pretty girl from your school had called while you were eating & she talked with arvin for a bit, making him laugh & smile. you went the jealous type, but sometimes it just got to you & chipped at your confidence.
so after the food was done he was still on the phone, he barely spoke a word to you. so you quiet left the table & headed outside to the porch, trying to calm yourself down.
"your just overreacting y/n..." you mumbled to yourself, shaking your head as your eyes trailed to your shoes.
it sure was cold & you wished you had brought a blanket or a coat with you, but you could handle it. the front door soon creaked open & you heard arvin's footsteps come closer to you until he was at your side. he grabbed a cigarette pack from his pocket & his lighter so he could have a quick smoke.
"why'd you leave?" he asked you as he exhaled the smoke, looking down at your face.
"you seemed busy on the phone with genevieve so i came out here to give you both some privacy" you said, looking away from your shoes to the trees.
"she was just asking some stupid questions for a project, nothing special" he said, making you nod your head.
"you sure nothing wrong?" he asked before taking a drag of the cig, making you face him.
"there is something, but it's no big deal. just go back inside & i'll come clean up in a minute" you told him, shivering slightly.
he was about to take off his jacket for you because he noticed your arms were filled with goose bumps, but you shook your head 'no', making arvin furrow his brows.
"you can tell me what's wrong ya know. it don't seem like it nothing" arvin said, placing a hand on your shoulder to comfort you, but you shook it off.
"stop it, please" you said quietly.
"y/n..." he said, pausing as he left his hand to cup your left cheek to turn your face to his.
you looked at him blankly, biting your lip & sighing into his touch. he was confused to what was going on cause he couldn't tell how you were feeling.
"what are we arvin?" you asked, looking into his brown eyes deeply, hoping they'd tell you how he felt.
"what ya mean?" he asked back, making you shut your eyes tightly before opening them again.
"i mean, are we friends? is that all we are? is that what i am to you?" you elaborated for him, making him smoke a little before answering.
"why wouldn't we be friends? we been close for a while" he told you, not getting what you were trying to get at.
"do you care for me? more than a friend? because that's how i... care for you" you admitted, making his mouth open a little. he looked shocked.
"i just can't act like i don't anymore cause it makes me feel crazy when i see those pretty girls at school talk to you & it made me so upset when genevieve called because i'm jealous. it's stupid right?" you scoffed sadly, lifting your hand to take his hand off your cheek so you could go back inside.
you immediately regretted telling him because he seems to not feel the same but your heart grew the tiniest bit hopeful when he grabbed your arm & turned you around to look at him. he had stepped on his cigarette over by the end of the porch.
"why you jealous of them? they ain't got nothing on you. i thought you knew that" he said, making you shake your head.
"arvin... i feel like we do things that friends don't do all the time. the hand holding, touches, playfulness— those are things that people who are together do" you told him, making him nod.
"what you said before, about caring; i care for you so much. i care about ya a whole fucking lot. i'd do anything for you, don't you know that?" he said, his hands finding yours & holding them tightly.
"i know. i'd do anything for you too. but what i'm trying to get at is... have you ever thought of us being more than friends? being i don't know... together?" you asked, looking at him deeply as he sighed a little.
"the thought might have crossed my mind yeah" arvin admitted, making you smile at him a little.
"& what do you think about that?" you asked him, your eyes hopeful he'd say what you've been wanting him to say for so long.
"i like it but... y/n, wouldn't you be happier with anyone else? i don't exactly have the best life. you deserve better than me" he told you, making you shake your head.
"i don't care about anyone else arvin. i only care for you" you said, poking his chest with your index finger.
"you won't regret it? you sure?" he asked, uncertainty laced in his tone.
instead of saying anything else, you wrapped your arms around his neck & hugged him; hoping he'd get what you were trying to say. you waited until you felt his arms hug your waist tightly to pull your face away from his shoulder to look at him.
the cold fall air flew around, causing his hat to fall to the ground & your hair to fly in front of your face. but before you could fix it arvin's hand was delicately brushing the strands of hair away, tucking some behind your ear slowly.
"your gorgeous you know? more pretty than those other girls" he told you honestly, making you smile.
"& your better than all those boys. they can't compare to you arv" you replied, making him warmly smile at you.
"let's go back inside yeah? get you warmed up" he mumbled as he kissed your forehead, picking up his hat & holding it with his right hand as his left was on your lower back.
"okay" you mumbled back, opening the door to go back in.
but as you both got back in & went to sit on the couch, arvin pulled you to him & hugged your tightly as he rested his hand on your hair. your head was nuzzled into his jean jacket covered chest with a happy smile on your face.
you both stood there for a while, in the middle of his living room. it was quiet, but calming. & you both felt complete.