Annie January hardly even noticed the eerie child with an unnerving appearance standing slowly from her tiny hideout. The way she got to her feet was so fluid and smooth, it was comparable to a chilling demon awakening from taunting graves. Her dark hair hung over her face - the calm before the storm. The storm being the formidable child growling with likening to a wolf, stalking the bottle blonde who's presence was not only threatening the safety of The Boys, but offered a chance for her to finally, truly fuck about with The Seven. By herself. The amount of satisfaction she would get from killing Annie with her bare hands would be utterly thrilling. Sure, she played a part in the murder of Translucent, but the only independent thing she'd done, besides the attempted obliteration of the Vought tower, was write a joke about The Deep being a fish-fucker on his own forehead in blood while he was knocked out.
She leapt towards the cute stereotype in plain clothes and forced her from her feet onto her behind, looming with murderous intent as she began to complain,"HEY! Wait... I know you - you're Butcher's kid, right? You said I had nice hair." Annie recounted with some confusion.
"Times fucking change," Rowan grabbed the front of her shirt and clenched her other hand into a fist - her voice was low, threatening and full of trembles, just as she first threatened Frenchie under similar circumstances. "What the fuck are you doing in here?"
"Hu-Hughie brought me... what is wrong with you?" Starlight watched her dilated pupils, pulling herself to her feet without daring to bat an eyelash.
"More than you could guess, you drugged up bitch." She spat - she wasn't taking shit from a member of The Seven. It was almost as if she was blaming the supe for Butcher's leaving. In some weird, fucked up way, she had taken him away. And that was her reasoning for how violent she was willing to get.
SUPES ARE THE REASON BECCA'S GONE.
"I'm not gonna' fight you." Annie warned as the child stretched out her shoulder blades.
"Well, that makes things easier for me." She grimaced before lunging at the young lady with malicious blood lust flooding her wild eyes.
Annie managed to grab her wrist among the pain of claws at her throat and hold the kid away from her, prompting Rowan to let out a small, frustrated hiss of impatience. She hooked her arm around the opponent's back, throwing her face into her raised knee to free herself before pushing the hunched super into the table which toppled with a deafening clatter.
A weak groan emitted from the cluttered mess and sprawled woman collecting herself purely from shell shock - this was just a child, after all. Then again, Starlight was in full belief that she was Butcher's genuine kid. Who could blame her?
YOU'RE SO DEAD.
VOUGHT ARE GONNA' KILL YOU LIKE EVERYONE ELSE.
YOU SHOULD BE MORE SCARED.
YOU'RE SCARED RIGHT NOW.
YOU'RE SCARED.
"I'm not fucking scared." She grumbled as the light bulbs flickered along with Starlight's eyes. She was so distracted by the commands in her head that she didn't realise the beam of light shooting towards her and launching her back into the far kitchen counter where she slipped back down, out of sight, with a loud thump to the ground.
Annie reluctantly stood and wiped her aching nose as the glow in her eyes faded, gingerly creeping towards the island further her way. Ordinarily, she wouldn't hurt a child like that but she knew that if she stayed, defenceless on the mess she had caused from the tumble, Rowan would probably go in to choke her. "Hey... what do they call you... Striker?" She guessed,"I don't wanna' hurt you. I know you're mad but I'm not one of them. I'm not..." Her voice trailed into silence as she peeked around and was greeted with nothing but a small, red smear on the floor,"...Like Homelander."
The millisecond the word escaped her throat, a swift, sharp hand attacked her neck and threw her right down to the floor again, until a 14 year old had sat on her stomach and strangled her with all the power in her arms. While forcing the hands from her neck, Starlight noticed the desperation in her quivering lips and the tear that landed on her own cheekbone, prior to her decision that this had gone too far and uneasily turned over, paying attention to Rowan's minimal struggling as her hands were pinned above her head.
"Please just stop." She asked desperately. Worry settled into her face as the child's breath suddenly grew heavier, turning into choked heaves as her back arched against the ground. "Hey, hey, hey, calm down," Annie immediately let go and shuffled onto the ground,"Kid, look at me, follow my breathing and-"
"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE?" M.M. roared as he set foot in the mess, eyes eventually landing on the girls by the door, both currently in panic of their own kind.
"She- I didn't-" Annie stuttered out as they were helped to their feet by him and Hughie, her thoughts subsiding as Rowan's shoulders hunched and she uncontrollably backed away into M.M., like a cat would before being sick.
"You guys okay?" Hughie panted.
"FUCK YOU!" Rowan suddenly screamed and began towards them, thankfully being restrained just in time.
"CALM THE FUCK DOWN!" M.M. yelled, holding back the growling child.
"Rowan, she's here to help us!" Hugh warned.
"Well, I'm sorry!" She retorted sarcastically,"Last time we met, she was about to fucking KILL US!"
"I didn't even say anything - she just shoved me out of no where.
Annie leaned into the young man beside her and said quietly, eyes still fixed on the adolescent,"Hughie... she's not okay. You know that, right?"
"Yeah..." Hughie's voice shook as he sighed,"She's just having a rough time."
____________________
Fields flew past the back left window - since M.M. didn't trust Rowan within reach of the wheel while he was driving and it was just polite courtesy to let the guest, Annie, sit in the front with him. Hughie obliviously stared at her red eyes and messy hair - she almost looked like the little animal he met that night while hiding behind the store counter, quivering in fear from Translucent.
With no verbal communication and, once again, mucky attire, Rowan was just the same, lonely kid. There was no Butcher at the front for her to whisper to. Hughie thought back on all their past interactions - the time she jumped in front of him on Butcher's command, the time she attacked Translucent before he had to do anything that would traumatise him, how she took all mentions of Robin so seriously... and how sympathetic she was before she had to leave him for Homelander. It was almost as if she cared since the start.
Just as Rowan began to notice how M.M. tended to let people out in junctions so much more than Butcher, Annie suddenly asked,"Does anyone mind if I put on some music?" She reached for the radio and immediately gagged at the sound of her own voice, singing the piece they gave her at Translucent's memorial. "Ugh, God."
"You have a really good voice." Hughie commented,"You can do that wavering thing like those guys on American Idol."
"Vibrato." M.M. corrected, much to the car's confusion, as Annie reached for the radio a second time.
Rowan couldn't help but glance at Hughie as 'We Didn't Start The Fire' erupted from the speakers. She fought herself to hold back the impulsive grin when remembering the time she had recently yelled the exact lyrics at him to get him out of bed in the early morning. It seemed Hugh also remembered, because he beamed utter rays of sunshine when their eyes finally met - despite a thunder clattering through his ears as she scowled and immediately looked away.
The pure fire in her eyes only narrowed further as him and his 'it's complicated' supe girlfriend began to sing along.
SHUT THE FUCK UP.
SO DUMB.
SO FUCKING DUMB.
Perhaps she was spiteful that hers and Butcher's classic music for being on the road had been substituted - the fact was, 'road trips' (as Annie called it) weren't the same without heavy metal. As Hughie began to bang on the car roof at the climax of the song, Rowan jumped out of her seat and punched the radio off, sending an awkward silence to hurtle through the open window. Despite the hypocrisy, she knowingly glared and remarked, aware of just how much she was contradicting herself,"If you liked the song that much, maybe you'd have refrained from fucking screaming over Billy Joel."
____________________
It had been agreed amongst the adults that they should never let that child near a drop of coffee, so the paper cup warming the freezing, clammy palms around it was filled with scolding milk and a fuck-ton of nutmeg and cinnamon. Her head tipped against the glass window by their table at the stopover, watching the night close in and refusing to meet eyes with the supe humming contently beside her at the table.
Annie and M.M.'s conversation barely registered in her head as it began - something about her being a little too enthusiastic about the doughnut she was tucking into.
"You two want a room?"
"What?"
"You and the doughnut?"
"Oh, I'm sorry." She chuckled,"It's just my Mom never let me have this stuff. Weight gain my house was a capital crime. But me Dad - he would take me to Dunkin' on the sly and he would get me a chocolate, cream filled doughnut. And he'd ask me to tell him about my day. And he'd... he'd listen."
M.M. nodded and adjusted his coffee cup on the desk,"Baskin-Robbins." He sighed,"Every Sunday after church. My Pops - he'd always ask for samples. Now, this place had 31 flavours. And my Pops would ask for each and every one of them in there. There had been a line out the door, people mad as Hell, yelling,'Yo, my man, get your fucking ice cream and bounce'!" His sudden enthusiasm caused Rowan's attention to turn away from the condensation collecting on the window. "You think that stopped him? Hell nah, he would stand right there and order another sample,'Can I please try the Jamoca Almond Fudge, please?'. I was so damn embarrassed. Course, now I would give one year of my life just to see that man go through spoon after spoon just one last time."
Rowan traced a fingertip over a scratch on the table and asked quietly,"When did he..."
"16 years ago."
"I'm sorry."
"What about you?" Annie nudged her sweetly, giving a small smile.
Her face suddenly hardened.
Daddy never gave me sugar.
It was all...
"Chocolate Hot Pockets." She nodded seriously, jaw clenched at the trembles in her voice,"We would sit in front of the TV, late at night, and he would just watch me eat them and chuckle. He would make jokes about the news anchors all night long... and I would just... sit there on the floor and listen to him talk. And he breathed in this way... when he breathed in, it was all shaky and when he exhaled..." Rowan scoffed,"It sounded like he was laughing. I miss hearing him smiling at me."
Starlight picked up her paper cup and held it in the centre of the table,"To Fathers and sugar."
"To Fathers and sugar." M.M. agreed.
She fixed her red eyes to the ceiling and took a sip from the hot drink, leaving a sugary coating of spices over her pursed lips,"Yeah, wherever the fuck they are."
____________________
"Fuck no."
"Aww, come on! It'll be fun!" Annie encouraged.
"I would rather listen to M.M. snore for seven hours." Rowan continued to avoid eye contact with the blonde at all costs as they made it into a stopover motel.
"There's no space with the guys - and wouldn't it be nice to have a little sleepover, huh?" She prompted.
"Christ," She gave Hughie a dirty, blaming look and muttered,"I knew there was a reason we called it 'The Boys'."
"What about Kimiko?" Hugh intervened.
"At least she didn't talk to me. I talked to her and the words sleepover and road trip never came up." She grimaced before finally turning in Annie's direction,"So, I'm sorry, but I would take the fucking floor with them over a bed next to you."
"You're stayin' with Starlight." An exhausted, breathy sigh led them towards the stairs after checking in at the desk.
"M.M., come on!" She whined as they reached the stairwell at the top and the group began to split to separate rooms.
After checking that Annie and Hughie were out of earshot on separate sides of the hall, he leaned down slightly and commented, croaks hiding in his vocal chords,"You're goin' with Annie, kid. It's not a fucking hate crime."
Rowan called as he dragged his feet along the floor on Hughie's direction."It will be when I stab her!"
____________________
"I still don't understand why you couldn't just use the shower." Starlight sighed as Rowan finally emerged from their tiny bathroom. She didn't trust the shower. She was more vulnerable in there. So, she decided to wash her hair in the sink.
"Can you turn the TV up?" She responded nonchalantly and grabbed a few sheets from beside the tiny, old television on the chest of drawers.
"How can you not hear that?"
"I can hear it." She blurted defensively - but it wasn't loud enough to block everything else out. Her eyes narrowed spitefully when she turned the volume down and began to stare at her,
"There's one thing I don't understand about you."
"One thing?"
"Hughie told me that Butcher left town for a while... and that you're having a rough time. It's because he's not here, isn't it?" Annie checked, rolling her eyes when Rowan snatched the remote from her. "But when we were talking about our Dad's earlier... you never mentioned his name and you call him Billy so-"
"I was talking about him." She nodded,"But my Dad never gave me sugar." She muttered.
"I don't understand." Starlight shrugged as the kid wafted out sheets onto the floor and curled up on top of them.
"That's the idea."
____________________
Hughie laid awake, being deafened by M.M. snoring violently - maybe it would've been better to let Rowan stay with them. They could've listened to Billy Joel songs together and snack on leftover doughnuts from the stopover. His frown lines deepened as the sound of creaky footsteps entered his ears and he froze when the room door slipped open. Only Annie and M.M. had keys to their room. "Ro?" He whispered tiredly and the door immediately shut.
While sitting upright, he reminisced on a memory so simple yet so impactful on him - purely asking if she wanted him to grab her a drink:
'Hey, Rowan, do you want a-'
Her dull eyes shot up,'It's Ro to you, Hughie. But only you.'
'Uh... okay!'
"Hey!" He hissed down the motel hall, prompting her to frustratedly turn around and tense her shoulders. She still looked like she could burst into tears any moment. "What are you doing?" He caught up with her stressed strides.
"I'm going home." Rowan replied shakily.
"No! We're fucking miles away from anywhere!" He argued as they broke into the silent lobby, Hugh finally realised,"You want to find Butcher."
Her jaw tightened at his name. She ached without his voice in her ears. Her heart no longer beat but violently twanged against her nerves.
His eyebrows jumped,"Do you know where he is?"
"No," She growled,"I said I'm going home." Rowan repeated, pausing by the door to let her eyes dance over his face. It hurt even more watching the devastation settle into his expression.
"You mean the street?" Hughie shrugged,"Rowan, that's not your home! We are!" He reasoned,"Come on!" He practically yelled as she stormed into the street and the evening's cruel fingers tied tangles into her wild hair.
"I can't keep doing this." She clenched her fists.
"You mean without him?"
"It's not just that, though." She shook her head,"I just... I hate this. I'm fourteen years old and I've killed more people than I know. You should run from me."
Hughie watched helplessly as she stood a meter or so away from him in the centre of the dark sidewalk. He was literally watching someone deteriorate before him. "I'm sorry." He stared through his bright eyes, the only ones left with hope,"I don't know what it's like, okay? I don't understand you. In fact, the only person who did is gone now and..." He internally cursed himself when the words from his mouth caused tears to spill and the streetlamps to cause an even brighter shine on her cheeks - like a golden deer frozen in the headlights of her own confrontation. Hughie just happened to be her audience, sat in the back seat with no control. "I don't know what to say to you. What I do know is that if you leave, that makes you exactly like him." He began to approach, so slowly he was hoping she wouldn't even notice.
"Nu-uh." Rowan corrected, biting her lip to hold in her sobs,"I don't have anyone to leave for. No one to rescue."
"Then stay."
She briefly glanced around the parking lot and finally realised how physically close he was. She had no fucking clue what she was doing - she didn't even enjoy it, but she still hugged him anyway, prompting a small coo to escape from above her. "I'm sorry."
"Are you gonna' go back to bed?" He asked softly.
"No," She pulled away and tilted her head, unfazed, in thought,"That's the next best thing - I'm gonna' go kill people."