"It feels so nice to be home," Ceci said as we stepped through the door to our Toronto condo.
I'd wanted her to spend her entire recuperation period in Los Angeles, but after she'd pushed, her team of doctors had given us the go-ahead to fly back to Canada as long as it was a non-stop flight.
"It sure does," I agreed to make her happy. "I'm going to carry all our luggage upstairs. I want you to change into pajamas and get into bed. I'll bring you dinner. What sounds good? Thai? Indian?"
She started up the stairs, holding on to the handrail for support. "I'm not that hungry, so I am fine with anything."
After making Ceci promise not to unpack, I helped her get undressed and into one of my t-shirts. She still struggled with getting her arm in and out of sleeves since extending it caused pain around the bullet wound near her collarbone. Then I tucked her into the king sized bed and gave her a kiss.
"Don't let me sleep too long. I just want to take a short nap. It's too early for me to go to bed," she said as she closed her eyes.
I went downstairs and opened up my computer to look for a good place to get take-out. Lisa and Eric had wanted to bring dinner over tonight so we could have a low-key Canada Day together, but Ceci had asked that they wait until tomorrow to visit. She told them that the flight might take a lot out of her, and she'd been right about that. I personally thought we'd come home too soon, but it was what she wanted and I'd do anything to make her happy.
Jesus...it had been a really rough month.
I didn't realize that I was crying until my tears started to drop onto my laptop keyboard. I pushed it back and wiped at my eyes.
"Get yourself together," I said to myself under my breath.
My phone started to vibrate on the counter and I saw it was my mum.
"Hi. Sorry I didn't call like I promised," I said when I answered.
"It's okay, love. How was the trip?"
"Long and exhausting. Ceci couldn't get comfortable in her seat and that elevated my anxiety. She's asleep and I'm trying to figure out dinner. Nothing sounds appetizing."
"If you look in your fridge and cupboards you'll see that Lisa and I stocked them. There's everything you need for sandwiches as well as some homemade chicken soup," she told me.
I started to cry again. "Thanks. That's perfect."
"Shawn, I'm worried about you."
"I know...I know. I promise I'll focus on myself once she's better. I have the names of several therapists."
"You might be more of a help to her if you're feeling well. Both of you need to talk to someone," she said in her wonderfully soothing voice.
"We will. One step at a time."
"Are you feeling any better now that Sanders has been charged?"
"A little. I guess they are worried he'll claim insanity. His lawyers say his confession is inadmissible since he had a head injury at the time, which could be a problem, though I can't see a jury letting him go," I said. "They are also trying to get the murder charge dropped because they say there's no way to prove that his actions terminated the pregnancy."
William Sanders, the shooter, had been arraigned last week. He was charged with two counts of first-degree attempted murder and one count of second-degree murder. We'd hoped he'd plead guilty so that it wouldn't go to trial. That wasn't happening, so it was inevitable that Ceci and I would have to testify. The media had gone crazy when it was revealed that she'd been pregnant. History had a twisted way of repeating itself.
"I have faith that justice will be served," my mum said confidently. "I also know you two will be alright."
We talked a little longer and then I called Lisa to let her know we'd arrived home safely. I also thanked her for the food. She suggested that they come by in the morning with bagels, since they were one of Ceci's favorite foods. I told her that would be great and that I'd provide the coffee.
After the call ended, I went to the refrigerator and put together a simple dinner of soup and sandwiches. At my request, my mom had bought a bed tray like the one we'd used in L.A., so I loaded that up and carefully carried it up the curved staircase. I was missing my other home since it was only one floor and therefore much better suited for caring for someone. Hopefully we'd be back there pretty soon.
When I got to our room, Ceci was sound asleep on her back, which was still the only position that was comfortable for her. It felt like a lifetime ago that she'd slept curled up in my arms. I yearned for the intimacy that had been such an important part of our lives, though I understood that wouldn't be a possibility for at least another month.
I set the tray on the bedside table and watched her for a minute. Her face was fixed in a tranquil expression and her breathing was steady and even. No wonder she liked to sleep so much; it was an escape. As I looked at her, I felt the familiar pressure of guilt. Ceci had sacrificed herself for me, and I owed her everything.
I went to my backpack, which was sitting next to my suitcase in the walk-in closet, and unzipped the main opening. Reaching into one of the interior pockets, I pulled out the small velvet box that contained the ring I'd purchased two weeks ago.
I sat cross legged on the floor and opened the box. The ring was an antique and had a round diamond in the center plus several smaller diamonds placed within the delicate filigree swirls on the sides. I'd seen it in the window of a tiny shop when I was out picking up one of Ceci's prescriptions, and I immediately knew it was meant for her.
Up until that moment, marriage hadn't been part of my plan. I knew I wanted to be with her the rest of my life, but my parents had never married, and I didn't believe it was a requirement for being committed to the person you loved. But when I saw the ring, I felt like it could help make things right. It would prove to her that I loved her and was grateful for everything she'd given me, which included my life.
Taking the ring from the box, I slipped it into my pocket and stood up. When I approached the bed, Ceci started to stir.
"What time is it?" she asked groggily.
"Dinner time! I've got roast beef and brie sandwiches plus some homemade chicken noodle soup, courtesy of our mothers."
She carefully sat up in bed. "That sounds really good."
I placed the tray across her lap and got in on the other side. Together we ate our dinner in bed, which had become our regular routine.
"I talked to both our mums," I told her. "Your parents are bringing bagels over tomorrow morning."
"I'm going to eat downstairs then."
"Is that a good idea? You're still on bed rest for another two weeks."
"Dr. Huang said that I'm allowed to get out of bed for short periods as long as I take it easy. Eating breakfast in the dining room won't hurt me."
"You're getting pretty sick of being confined, aren't you?" I asked.
I certainly was. I wanted to be near her, so bed rest for Ceci meant bed rest for me, too.
"A little. I have way too much time to think. I'm looking forward to returning to my normal life. I think it will help."
"Remember when being in bed together all day was the best thing ever?" I said with a chuckle.
"I'm sorry I can't be that girl anymore," she responded sadly.
"You're still that girl. You just need to heal. You're already over halfway through the recovery period."
"What if nothing is the same?"
She liked to play the "what if?" game a lot these days. I could play it, too.
"But what if things aren't the same because they are better?" I pulled the ring from my pocket and held it out to her. "What if...what if we got married?"
Ceci's eyes grew big. "Shawn! What are you doing?"
"Proposing. Will you marry me Cecilia Burroughs?"
"I...I can't believe this. I didn't think...I mean I had no idea...are you sure?"
I couldn't help but laugh. "I'm very sure. Please don't keep me in suspense, though. Are you giving me a yes or a no?"
"Yes! Of course it's a yes!"
I leaned forward and gave her a kiss before placing the ring on her finger. It fit perfectly, because it really was meant for her.
That night I slept better than I had since the shooting, because I'd made my love happy.