Christian showed no signs of waking anytime soon. It was late, just past midnight. I had finally convinced Jill to go home, and to take Richard, or Dick as I like to call him, with her. They left about two hours ago, and quite frankly, I was lonely. I'm a talker, and Christian wasn't exactly responding.
Around midnight, I heard a soft knock on the door. Shortly after, Grant came in, bearing a brown paper bag in hand. "Hi" he said. He looked awkward. Not that he was awkward, he just looked relatively uncomfortable to be here.
"Hey," I said brushing my hair out of my face.
I realized then that I looked repulsive. I had baggy sweats from Pink, and Christians sweatshirt on. My makeup was most likely smudged and my hair was in a bun so messy, it wasn't even allowed to be called a messy bun anymore.
"So I uh, noticed that you hadn't gone home yet, and, wow that sounds creepy. Okay well anyway I figured you probably hadn't eaten anything, so I brought you some soup. I don't even know if you like soup, but I figured you needed to eat something," he said while strolling over to give me the bag. He placed it on the small table next to me and started to walk out.
"Hey Grant," I said after him as he began to walk away.
"Yeah?" he said turning around. He was now facing me fully, and I saw just how friendly his face was, which complimented his compassionate personality very nicely.
"I just wanted to thank you. For everything. You've been so nice to me these past few days and I just really appreciate it. It's been a while since I've had a friend to talk to aside from Christian. Thanks for being here for me." I said. I wanted to stay friends with him even after Christian got better and we got to leave the hospital.
"Oh yeah, sure. It's my pleasure, honestly. I know what you're going through, and I feel awful," he began.
"My brother was in a bad car wreck a few years ago, and uh, I just wished I had someone to talk to during those weeks he was in the hospital, and after he died. It was just me, myself, and I there most of the time. My family rarely came to visit. My parents were disappointed in him, because he wasn't their ideal son. He would party, and drink, and he never got the greatest grades. But I think the main reason was that he was gay. They never fully approved of him. But he was my big brother, you know? I looked up to him. He always supported me, took care of me when they wouldn't.
"I never understood why they wouldn't come. I did. Every day. I took the bus to the hospital every day after middle school, and then again at 7:15, because I had to be home by 7:30. I used to spend each day praying that someone would come be with me, with us. No one ever did. So, I guess that's why I'm here right now. For Connor. I'm here now, because no one was for him."
"Grant..." I started but I couldn't say anything. I was at a total loss for words. "I'm so sorry. For everything. I had no idea," I said. I couldn't say much more. There was nothing to say.
"No it's okay. I don't talk about it often. About Connor. But it felt good to finally be able to relate to someone, you know?" He said.
"I do." I did. It no longer felt like I was alone. I wasn't the only one suffering from this. Grant suffered from it everyday because of Connor. Although it was a different kind, we both loved them. He loved his brother in a familiar way. I loved Christian in a familiar way too, but also in a friendly way. We were incredibly close to them, Christian and Connor. Christian and I were so close, and together for so long, that we became our own family. He was my best friend. I loved him so much. I couldn't live without him. Please stay, Christian, I pleaded silently to his still body.
"Okay well, I gotta get home. But I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" He said.
"Okay. Thank you so much for the soup. I really appreciate it."
"It's my pleasure. Bye Kallie," he said while turning on his heel and walking out the door. He shut it softly behind him, and I was alone with Christian again. God I hoped he would wake up soon. I missed him so friggin much. I needed to hold him again, have him hold me back. Love him, have him love me back.