The hospital room was quiet as it's usually been for the past two months.
With Y/n still unconscious from the accident that had occurred two months ago.
If feelings can be smelled like flowers can, the whole room would smell like regret and will overpower the scent of hydrangeas bought by her parents.
Forgiveness, and regret.
Those were the two things the lilac flowers placed on the nightstand next to her bed symbolized.
Kuroo and S/n made sure they find out about what truly happened between them.
Then came the regret from their parents.
They wanted to apologize, to hug their daughter, to talk to her.
But they've never gotten a chance to because her body lied on the creaky hospital bed, connected to machines to monitor her.
She was getting quite pale, lying there for two months.
Kenma only sometimes visited her, not wanting to see her still unconscious body under the bright hospital lights.
Kuroo and S/n made sure to visit her daily, hoping she might wake up.
He sat down at the chair placed on the left side of her bed, then resting his elbow on her hospital bed.
S/n watched as Kuroo carefully put his head on top of his resting elbow.
He played with her fingertips, like he used to when they get tired from hours of studying.
"Y/n..." he said as small droplets formed in the corner of his dull eyes.
It was his fault.
It was never hers.
It was always his fault.
He knew he was the problem, he was the one that caused this.
"There's only a small chance she'll ever wake up." the doctor's voice echoed through his head for the fifth time that morning.
Coma patients can hear what happens around them even though they were in that current state.
The doctor advised them to talk to her and tell her stories, in hopes that she might wake up.
But they can't even utter a word, they weren't worthy of speaking to her.
They had nothing to talk about.
Kuroo sucked his breath in, hoping it would hold back the tears that were about to fall from his eyes.
"I- You-" he tried to talk but no words seemed to make sense.
Apologizing now wouldn't make a difference, but he wanted to try.
"I know you can't forgive me." he finally managed to say, his eyes lightly fluttering closed.
He hasn't slept in quite a while.
"You have every reason to hate me, and that's fine. It's beyond understandable." he said sadly and gulped, swallowing the guilt and pain.
"Hate me, Y/n." Kuroo ordered her as if she was awake.
"Please hate me."
"Stop giving a f*ck about everyone else. Care for yourself, please." his tears finally streamed slowly down his pale cheeks.
S/n watched him cry, her heart felt like it was getting torn apart, like it was being shredded into tiny bits by the sharpest blades in the world.
She knew she was at fault like Kuroo is, or maybe even more than him.
The girl put her hand on her chest, as if she was trying to keep her heart together. If only she had been there.
She should've been there.
And for the time that she was there, she just watched.
She watched her sister... she watched her give her life to her.
And it wasn't fair.
Because after all she's put her through, her life was barely enough to compensate for the pain that Y/n had felt.
Perhaps Y/n was still feeling that pain even if she was unconscious.
"I'm selfish..." he said blankly.
"How did you even love me...?" his tone filled with disbelief.
"I wish I was like you... Y-you were never selfish."
"I wish I could be as good as how you used to see me..."
His heart was breaking just seeing her lie on the hospital bed.
And it broke even more when images of how he imagined she cried flashed through his mind.
How she kept it all to herself and how she finally let herself break down to pieces.
"Please wake up..." he shut his eyes tight in frustration hoping his pleads would miraculously wake her up.
"I'm sorry that I wasn't there to hold your hand when you weren't okay...
I'm sorry you had to go through it all alone...
I'm sorry I- I'm sorry that I put you through even more pain..." he stuttered during the last part.
What he felt can't compare to the way she felt.
The pain he felt was nothing to Y/n.
It wasn't even a fourth of it.
"My apology probably means nothing to you and please believe me when I say I understand why." he began to talk faster even though she laid unconscious and had no choice but to listen to what he had to say.
"I'm s-sorry..." his voice broke along with his heart.
"I'm sorry for not telling you back then that I-I love you!.." his tone turned into a shout while saying the last words.
"I'm sorry that I didn't notice you had to hear me say it everyday because no one else will..." he frustratedly runs his hand through his messy hair.
He looked at her closed eyes as she slept peacefully.
There was no point, she wasn't waking up.
Maybe she didn't even wanna wake up.
"I'm sorry that I... I never told you that you were enough." he said calmly with frustration and sadness mixed in his eyes, looking at Y/n.
"Because you are..." he reached out to grab her hand and hold it with his, wrapping his warm hands around hers.
He gently directs her hand to kiss it like he used to.
S/n, along with her parents, watched the sight of the dark haired boy telling her siser those words.
The words that they couldn't say.
The words that they've never said.
"You're enough..." he tells her.
"I was just selfish and stupid." he says the truth.
He rests his arms on the bed and laid his head on top of it once again, admiring her.
Kuroo stayed like that for a few minutes, just staring at her, foolishly hoping she might wake up.
The boy lifted his head up to lean closer to her.
"You'll be loved, Y/n."
"No..."
"You are loved, Y/n." he spoke the truth.
"You are so much more than just enough." he tells her as he presses his lips against the top of her head.
Walking away from the side of Y/n's bed, he sat at the more comfortable couch across the room.
His head leaning on the backrest and facing the ceiling.
Eyes slowly relaxing as he finally got those words out of his chest.
He was beggining to fall asleep.
Only to be interrupted.
A deafening beep from the machines were heard.