*Edited: 7-25-2022*
Word count: 2607
The room was draped with silence - deafened only by the crackling of burned fire, crisp with the still warm glow of dancing flames painting the room in a cozy overlay of orange-yellow hues.
The shadows swayed as if to mimic each steady, quiet breath — flickering with innocence along the walls.
The gentle heat fanned my back — my body leaned against the table in front of me with little care as to the numb feelings or the loose, elegant folds of my dress, which lay spread around me.
My head was resting on my right hand, my elbow on the dark surface of the table - and to improperly voice my long gone patience was the steady tapping of free fingers across a checkered board.
The umber brown knight moves diagonally at the push of my hand - facing off against its selected opponents. A rook. A pawn - no two pawns. Each knocked down by the silent yet mighty horse shaped piece to clatter against the board below.
An easy victory lasting no more than a few seconds before the lighter color retaliated ‐ a white knight to square off against the deadly foe of its brethren.
Two more rooks take stance from behind - each closely surrounded by the opposing hues - and the knights clash in battle that ended with a clatter against the field of made up war.
The white knight had fallen...
But before the breath could release in saddened retreat, the rooks make their move - knocking down all odds to avenge a silent comrade.
A swiftly ended victory that still left my expression with disinterest.
Bored. Tired. My eyes heavy in keeping up with a made up game of what I could only call 'my one-sided version of chess.'
The door clicks - unlocked by an unseen hand - easily grabbing my attention and I lift my head.
Was my endless torment finally at its end?
The most likely answer seemed dreary.
A known figure walks in the room, nodding his head to the guards he passed and his eyes land on me as he smiles.
"Good evening, m'lady." He says simply and I straighten, fixing my posture as my hands fall to my lap - and the male stops by the arm of the couch.
"Samuel."
"His majesty informed on what happened." His tone was kind - a reflection of his shy smile. "I just came to check in on you."
"I am still breathing if that is what you mean. Did his majesty send you up here? Because I have already...apologized." I respond in short, and he chuckles softly, his gaze drawing over the silent chaos of knocked over chess pieces scattered across the table.
"Not exactly." He chimes, lifting his hand and the familiar book cover sparked my intrigue. "I also wanted to give you something to help pass the time."
I stand as if eager to approach - my mind buzzing with new possibilities of entertainment contained between bound pages - and the male's soft chuckle was more than telling of his amusement towards my easy nature.
"You seemed to enjoy it- at least from what I saw." He says, handing me the book with care and I let my eyes draw themselves over the cover.
"Thank you, Samuel."
My gaze lifts with a smile - and the male nods in kind.
"I would love to stay, but sadly I must take my leave- I have some things that are in need of my attention." His response was quick - to a point I didn't think he would have brought up and a part of me was saddened for any sort of company to leave, and yet, I face him with a kind expression.
"I understand. I'm certain I will you see later. At dinner, correct?"
"Most likely, m'lady." Samuel replies and his eyes soften with a playful shine. "Until then I suppose you just wait here...and no jumping out the window- or anything of that sort."
His words — although lighthearted — seemed off-putting in a way.
Did his joking manner think that the window was an option for me? A way of escape?
In a slim chance it could be possible...if it weren't for the likelihood of breaking or injuring anything - and even if I were aided by tied together strips of cloth there was still many guards posted outside.
I force a subtle smile at his fast paced statement as he nods to himself - before turning and walking to the door.
"Take care, Samuel."
The door clicks closed and my seclusion crept back in.
My eyes flick towards the bed — one simple word having toyed with my mind and as I tap the corner of the book on my palm, I step back.
My nerves wanted to wait until I was more certain.
Everything else said now - but I couldn't be hasty...not this soon.
'Do I dare?' The question prodded with loud silence, guiding me towards the bed and I swallow back choked air.
I kneel down by the side of the resting place and set the book in my lap - each movement slow as I then reach in between the mattress to pull out the thin slip of secrets hidden even from myself.
It was held with care - my focus on the rather simple off-white hue of the envelope, to the point I didn't dare alert anyone with sudden noises or rushed motions brought on by torn worries and pinched nerves.
I move slowly - fighting the urge to hide the letter and laugh off what I knew was wrong in everyone else's eyes.
I stand long enough to sit on the edge of the bed — the anxiety eating at my composure, constricting my lungs onto knives and peaking my attention to every small movement.
The now loud cracking of fire.
The breeze hugging the window and beckoning shifting blades of grass and thin leaves.
I was even convinced I could hear the soft, focused breathing of the guards posted outside my door.
The envelope tears by my hand and I wanted to scream as the parchment quietly gave way enough for the contents to be removed.
A calm breath gathers my loose ends.
'My most gracious greetings to you, m'lady.
I offer a sincere apology for my secrecy regarding how I gave you this letter...my action held no wrongful intentions- just careful ones. My secrecy was only brought on by a memory that even I cannot recall a full truth of—but I speak of our first, improper meeting that day in town.
I am certain you have a recollection of it?
However, one thing I am not entirely certain of, is what you said last—if anything at all.
'Help me.'
I haven't stopped thinking about those two words...and the possibility that I am fit to be insane.
My hope is that all is well.
I know we are still, very well strangers—however I want you to know that I want to offer you that help whatever it may be.
An ear to listen. A shoulder to lean on. A hand to help guide.
I can tell even from our momentary meetings, that you are likely not from a bustling town such as ours—simply not used to the types of busybodies and strangers of higher social standing too occupied to notice or casting downed gazes in your direction from crowds and street corners.
You seem more small town—a different scenery of...close knitted neighbors.
The next time you visit town, I could lend a hand with the children—trust me, when I say that they can be a handful at times—or I could offer insight about life and the people here in Windsor.
You could adjust better with friends and acquaintances. Familiar faces from those who were once strangers.
I'm often in town—and quite patient, so, if you choose to respond, all you need do is find me.
I'll be awaiting your possible answer, m'lady.
~Leia P.'
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~~~ Small time skip ~~~
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Having been read over more times than probably needed - every word taken in and close to my scattered mind - the letter was safely tucked away. Hidden in a place I hoped was safe...at the very least for some time.
I had spent my time since then going over a response that hadn't formed. An answer my mind had yet to reach.
It didn't feel real — not now, not even after having held it in my hands.
And what could I possibly say in return when I had so much I wanted to get off my chest? But I still had to keep my word...could I even respond?
How was I to give it to her —
My eyes shut out the world around me at the gentle tap on my shoulder. A simple, silent gesture telling of one thing.
"(Y/n), is everything alright?"
"Apologies...my thoughts were elsewhere."
I clear my throat before straightening in my seat, pushing aside the shy tones in my response.
"May I inquire as to why?" The royal questions and I shift my gaze to the doors of the dining room - tugging at the dusty blue fabric laying across my lap and showing my hesitancy for reprehension.
There were a total of four soliders around the room. Two still in guard by the door whilst two other familiar faces stood near the wall closer to the table.
Samuel sat on the king's left - General Warner and Ainsworth on my right.
They often shared the table, joining in at dinner if they were free in their schedule to do so.
I had summed it up to their relationship with the royal being that close.
Samuel was one of the people who sat still with expectancy - the males waiting on a response and I hum to myself. Buying precious seconds.
I had two options with differing outcomes.
One etched with slight deceit in keeping my thoughts to myself.
But I knew I didn't have time to weigh out every consequence...
"...I have been to town...on a few occasions." I move my gaze back down to the table - reluctant on how to best explain my position.
"And in turn I have met a quite a few of your people- none for too long, however...aside from the children, there is one who has stood out to me."
Honest. I just needed to be honest, open with him.
An itch pulls my gaze to the two men standing near the wall - soft in their talk to the other and my self assurance bit back my nerves.
The letter. The basket. Benedict more than likely would have mentioned the basket to the men sitting around me...he most of all would recall no mention or notice of a letter.
"Go on." The royal ushers and the blonde soldier's gaze made mine turn back to the plate in front of me.
I gather a breath, looking up at the male who held his attention to me - his features genuine with curious care.
'Be honest with him. Be open. But be careful- for her sake.'
"She's really kind, caring-"
"And the name of this young lady?" Warner interjects and I look back at the table with a glimmer of hope.
"...Leia. Her name is Leia. She enjoys helping the children as much as I- and she seems to care for their well-being greatly." An almost giddy smile finds my features, my hands wringing together and I hold back a nervous laugh.
"She told me, that she is often in town- that it was rather obvious to her, that I wasn't from a big city...but she was willing to lend a hand and help me open up to the people here. I could finally get out of my shell- find confidence in myself and meet new people. I could make a new friend—"
"No."
Silence interrupted the room - a pause leaving my state speechless.
I look up towards the sharp profile of the male who now studied the wall.
"What?"
"If you are asking, or wanting to befriend this woman, my answer is no."
I exhale, confusion resting on my face.
"May I ask for your reasoning as to why I can't?"
"With your new position by my side, you cannot trust every single person so easily. You have to have some caution with who you open up to." His tone was more stern than moments prior, yet still held calm words.
"You are not to meet up with this woman unless under close supervision by my men."
"But-"
"If you want close connections outside of the castle, you can, but you will do so through people I deem trustworthy. Not oddly willing strangers."
"You don't have trust in your people?" I ask and the male's brow knits.
"It is not that I don't trust them. I do to certain extents. It is more so certain individuals and their actions- no matter how kind you may see them to be."
I shake my head - taking another small breath before turning to face the male as best I could with the restraint holding me loosely in place.
"I mean no offense, but your reasoning is far fetched."
"You asked for my reasoning. You received my answer."
My hands find the royal's arm, holding onto it with care and his gaze shifts to look at me in the corner of his eyes - his mind deep in thought.
"Your majesty-...George please. I-I know I may not understand everything about...this...this position I am in. But you have to understand. I appreciate the want for you and your men to look after me- really I do...but I don't need to be treated like a puppy- watched so highly all the time."
"My dear-"
"That is how you meet new people, is it not? In order to form new bonds, you have to start off as strangers in some way."
My hands tighten around the royal's arm - Samuel setting his fork down and seeming as if he wanted to speak his thoughts.
"Please- one shouldn't have to ask for permission to befriend someone."
"I'm doing what is best." George answers and I shake my head.
"Your highness, you'd think it wise to leave the conversation here. His majesty has given his decision."
"But- but you all don't need to be so controlling over what I do- who I make connections with."
"Do not think I'm being unreasonable." The king's tone was firm, lingering on velvet-laced danger and my pleading gaze wanted to meet his.
"I am looking out for your well-being- even if you fail to see it that way."
His words were slow - as sharp as his profile.
The royal's hand was balled without a hint of anger - his features painted with a sense of distress he kept cool under a facade of calculation - and his gaze was ready to shatter the glass resting on the table.
He was closed off - stopping himself from speaking the worries of his mind and a truth I feared too painful for him to admit.
"I am doing...what is best." He whispers and I let my chest fall.
"George...George is-"
"The conversation is over." He speaks up - having gathered himself with a deep breath and as his gaze finally met with mine I wanted to silence my pleads...not out of fear, but pity - sorrow for the look resting in his eyes.
"It ends here. That is final- and you will find it best to listen to the orders of your king."