(6th June, 2011)
We sat in the woods, our vehicles hidden using branches and we sat watching the prison. The Governor arrived with four vehicles, they shot at and blew up the watch towers, and cleared the field of walkers. It was so loud that Noel had to cover Naomi's ears. Their army jump out of the vehicles that had popped tires, leaving only one to drive up into the prison yard. Then they were out of sight, I sighed hearing a few walkers approach, I nudged Carl to alert him of the walkers and the both of us took them down. The prison alarm went off, we all moved a little closer when we heard gunshots, "I should be there." Carl comments, looking at me as I roll my eyes at his words, "something to say Nyx?" Carl approached me, I shook my head no and walked away from him, "don't worry, I'll never ask you for help again." I commented and went alone to take down the walkers that were coming towards the noise, ignoring Carl.
The shooting stopped and some of the vehicles drove off, a young boy came at us and we all raised our guns at him. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Don't shoot." The kid raised his hand in surrender, "drop the weapon, son." Hershel requested, "sure. Here, take it." I make my way over to him when I notice Carl wasn't taking the gun off the boy, "what's your name?" I question as I take a hold of his gun before I gasp in shock when the boys blood splashed on my face. Carl had shot him, I stood in shock still holding onto the gun he was handing over.
"What's your problem dude?" Noel approach Carl shoving him, "he was with him." Carl argued shoving Noel back, I got in between them and shook my head no, "he was handing over his gun, he just stumbled on us." I spoke trying to wrap my head around Carl's actions, "I had his gun in my hand, he was surrendering, he was just a kid." I spoke angrily passing the gun to Noel as I shoved Carl angrily. "What gives you the right to end his life?" I ask him and Carl scoffed at me, "don't act all innocent Nyx, you've killed more people than I have, you killed your own family." I shoved him again, calling him an arsehole and stormed off towards the prison.
"Nyx? Why are you walking up here alone?" Glenn questioned, I was slightly less angry as I processed what happened on my walk back, "I don't want to talk about it." I told him as he opened the gate for me, "why's there blood all over your face?" Daryl question, I just repeated that I didn't want to talk about it. I walk straight into the cell block, ignoring the others trying to stop me to force me to talk to them. Daryl grabbed me before I could disappear, and just as Noel, Beth, Judith, Naomi, Hershel and Carl arrived, "please let go, I can't stand to look at him right now." Daryl looked at me confused, before noticing that Noel was also glaring at Carl.
"Dad, I'm coming to Woodbury." Carl declared and I rolled my eyes at him, "Carl." Rick went to argue. "Dad, I did my job out there. Just like all of you. Took out one of the Governor's soldiers." "One of his soldiers? A kid running away? He stumbled across us." Hershel points out and Carl said that he drew on us, "he didn't, he was handing over his gun. I had it in my hand and you killed him." I spoke up against Carl, who just scoffed as he looked at me, "never ask for my help again if you can't handle it." I went to go tackle Carl but Daryl grabbed me to stop me, "I never wanted your help, I wanted to convince you to get out of the prison like you were told. But you had to fight it, like you do with every order given to you." Daryl carried me away from the group, "you're a liar Carl!" I shouted at him before Daryl's hand slid over my mouth.
"What happened between you two out there? You were the best of buddies before." Daryl asked sitting with me in my cell to stop me from trying to get at Carl. "He killed that kid Daryl, I had his gun in my hand, he was surrendering and Carl just shot him. And when I was telling him off, he told me to stop acting innocent that I've killed more people than him, that I even killed my family. He compared the hardest thing I've ever had to do, to him gunning down a innocent boy, the gun he was handing over wasn't even fired." Daryl did something I never expected him to initiate, he hugged me and I held onto him as all my anger turned to frustration and tears spilled down my cheeks.
We stayed like that for about five minutes, him holding me as I cried silently. "I'm sorry, I'm just trying sort out all my feelings." I admit as I wipe the tears off my cheeks. "Daryl! We're heading out." Rick voice yells, Daryl gives me a sad smile, "I'll be okay, be safe.." Daryl began to leave my cell, "and Daryl, stay alive." Daryl smiles at me and nods throwing me over his keys for the prison, I lock my own cell and crawled into bed.
As I napped, I relived the worst moments I've ever experienced, losing my grandmother, the beatings Noel's dad gave me, killing my own mother, killing Matthew, being held captive by the Governor, Carl killing that boy. "Nyx, Nyx!" Noel shook me awake, and I realised I was mid-scream, I quickly moved away from him, "no stop, I'm fine." I held my hands up to him to stop him from getting closer to me. "You're not fine Nyx, you were screaming bloody murder." Noel went to approach me but when he saw me flinch, he slowly backed away from me. "They're back?" Noel questioned me, I slowly nodded, "Nyx... you need to stop blaming yourself." I turned to look away from him once Carl arrived at my cell door, "just leave me alone please." I begged in a whisper, I heard Noel sigh before hearing footsteps leaving. I looked back up at the cell door to see Carl still standing there, I laid back down turning my back to him.
I could feel Carl staring at me, "go away Carl, I don't want to talk to you right now." I squeezed my eyes shut, praying that he would just leave and that when I fell asleep again I wouldn't be tortured by my own mind. "Nyx, I just wanted to say that what I said earlier... I didn't mean it, I was angry and I said anything I could say to hurt you." I turn around to face him, "mission accomplished." "Carl! Can you come here for a second?" Hershel called, Carl sighed giving me one last look before finally leaving me alone.
Now I was wide awake, so I just laid there alone in my cell, it's safe to say whatever I felt for Carl is gone. He used my past as a weapon against me, and now it'll take another few months of not sleeping before I can sleep in peace. I sat up and pulled out my journal, not the one that kept my walker kills or the food I had in storage, the one where I recorded what happened to me everyday. I wrote an entry for today, how I felt, what happened with the Governor and my nightmares returning.
"Knock knock," Maggie wrapped her fingers and knock on the wall in my cell. "Hey..." she spoke looking at me, "hi." I smiled at her, getting up out of my bed. "I'm sorry I kinda just disappeared, there was somethings in my head that I needed to sort through." I apologise and give an honest reason for my disappearance, Maggie smiled at me and said that she understood why after Hershel filled her in on what Carl had said to me.
"Congratulations by the way, on your engagement." I point to the ring, Maggie played with her ring with a smile on her face as she thanked me, "you're the first one to notice." I smile at that information, "Wanna talk to me about your nightmare?" I shook my head no, Maggie tried to argue that talking about it might make me feel better, I told her that it was just somethings that were in my past replaying in my head. "Like what?" Maggie questioned, I sighed looking at my journal, I handed it over to Maggie. "Read the last page." I instructed Maggie did as she was told, reading me describing my nightmare and how afraid I was and how it felt like I was in those situations all over again and how guilty I feel for every single one of them. "Nyx..." Maggie began, "please don't, I don't need pity, I just need to be alone right now." Maggie understandingly handed back my journal and walked out of the cell.
I stayed there for hours until I heard the sound of Daryl's motorcycle arriving. I got up, brushed myself off to make myself look a bit more presentable before rolling my shoulders and making my way out to the courtyard. There was a bus that I didn't recognise, Tyreese was the first person to exit it. Then women, children and the elderly began to make their way out of the bus, Tyreese led them into cell block C. Hershel greeted them all, I look at them all confused, Daryl must've noticed my expression because he made his way over to me to explain.
"They're from Woodbury, Governor killed most of his soldiers, turned the last of them against him. They're joining us." I slowly nod, a small smile plays on my lips as I see more kids Noel's age, Naomi's age and a handful my age. "We're gonna need a lot more food..." I pointed out, as I watched the large amount of people walk into our cell block, "and we'll need to clear the other cell blocks, we can't all fit in C." Daryl chuckled looking at me, I looked up at him with my eyebrows knitted together in confusion for his laughter. "We have the food covered, Woodbury had a lot." He gestured to the truck that was filled with food, "tonight we'll all stay together, tomorrow we'll start with clearing the prison." Rick spoke up from the other side of me, "I'll go on watch, he might try and sneak up here and attack while we're all asleep." I say, adjusting my bow and making my way over to the watch tower.
About twenty minutes into my watch shift, Sasha joined me. "Rick wants you in there, he wants to give the Woodbury group a warning." I look at her confused but decided not to fight her, I handed her the gun we use for keeping watch, "welcome to the family." I smile at Sasha before slowly making my way down the stairs and into the cell block. There was sleeping bags all over the floor, I look at Daryl as if asking him if they got all of them from Woodbury, he simply nodded at me. "Alright, can I have your attention please!" Rick called and everyone in Woodbury got into a group and looked back at our group. "My name is Rick Grimes, and we would like to welcome you to our home. We do have a few rules!" Rick began, 'we do?' I questioned him in my head, "but first I'm going to allow my group introduce themselves." Rick gestured to Hershel to start, Hershel just spoke his name, and we went down the line just saying our names.
"Our rules are... No.1 if you kill one of us or try to, we will kill you. No.2 everyone contributes. No.3 if you want to go on a run, you have to bring a buddy and inform one of the members of our group. No.4 if a member of this group gives you a task, do it, and if you can't, ask us for help." Rick concluded but I thought of another rule, "No.5 everyone is treated the same, no fighting, no stealing extra food, no special treatment." I spoke up with authority in my voice, and see all the Woodbury crowd nodding, "And No.6 if anyone in this room is bitten, it's your responsibility to prevent them from turning." Glenn spoke up, "all the rules will be written on the walls of the cell blocks once they are cleared." Rick informs everyone, "anyone not willing to follow these rules, leave now." Hershel ordered, no one budged, "alright, stay in here. Pick your place on the floor for tonight." The Woodbury crowd started picking up their sleeping bags, getting into their little groups and talking.