Chapter 69
-Philippines-
"Si Cyriel?" I asked Clarence who was then reading a portion of the broadsheet.
He turned around and seemed so surprised to see me, "Dana," he stood up and motioned me to sit on the chair adjacent to him, "back too soon," he commented.
I just arrived here in Manila few hours ago.. with Nof.
Andy didn't come with me because of some issues. I would admit that i am disappointed and at the same time jealous of the attention Glorie is getting. When I saw Andy consoling Glorie, i kind of felt like i should be the one he's attending to. I know it is f.ucking wrong to feel that way since i know.. i really know that i am the one who broke him and Glorie was the one who was there for him when he needed someone the most. But i wouldn't be a hypocrite by saying that i am really cool with it because the hell i am not!
With all the things going on, i feel like i don't know myself at all. One moment i love Cyriel, then the next one, i am jealous of Glorie. I cannot understand myself at all!
Is it possible to love two people at a time? Before, i thought that that is f.ucking ridiculous. How could that happen, right? Loving two persons simultaneously? What a piece of bullsh.it. But with what's happening to my crazed world right now? I believe that crap. I love two persons.. but not equally. I love the other person more.. But i don't know who.. And i need to find out before it's too late.
"Yeah, need to arrange some things," i said, "si Cyriel?" i said, repeating the question.
He eyed me, "what do you want? Honest answer or flattering answer?"
I sighed, "honest answer, Clarence."
He, then, showed a crooked smile, "Payatot, check up, do the math," he said.
I nodded. So, he's in the hospital.
"Thanks, Clarence," i said.
But before walking out of their door, "please talk to Kim. Just hear her out," i said. My love life is a mess right now, pati ba naman kila Kim? I said those things to Clarence para naman makapag usap sila. They really need to fix whatever issues they have. Tho, i believe that it's just a misunderstanding. Communicating would really help.
-Sara's Apt-
"Dana!!" she said then ran to me and hugged me tight, "bakit nandito ka na?"
I placed my things on the table and sat on her couch, "may gagawin ako eh," i said.
"Ano naman yun? Importante?" she asked.
I nodded, "yup. A life changing matter," i answered. I looked around her condo unit and l didn't see Kim. I thought she was here.
"I texted Kim."
"She's not here. She's with Bryle, you know, the f1 racer guy," she said as though she wants me to remember that guy.
"Ah, yeah," i said, "with Bryle? Eh di mas lalong nagalit si Clarence?"
She shrugged, "no comment about that one, Dana. You missed a lot of things while you weren't here!"
She fed me with the things i missed while i was not around. Apparently, Kim went to Canada just days after i left for Miami. And there's a new b.itch around named Sage. I would really like to see that Sage for myself and b.itch with her but i don't have the luxury of time. Time is ticking and i need to make a decision.
After all those things, she asked me, "playtime's over, why are you back too soon?"
I tried to smile but i guess that didn't work. Sara knows me too much that she knows whenever i am hiding something.
"I'll ask you one thing," i said.
"Spill."
I took a deep breath, "what would be the reason why two people should marry?"
She questioned me with her eyes, but nonetheless answered my question, "for love, of course. I know, gasgas na. But what else would be the reason why two people will commit to a lifetime obligation if not for love?"
"But if love is too complicated, ano pang pwedeng dahilan?"
"Friendship," she, then, shrugged, "well, if love is too complicated. I don't know. Your question is too trivial. Friendship will be the next best thing after love. But why would you marry for the sake of friendship? Ewan, ang gulo. Pero siguro mas okay na yung friends kayo kasi i believe that love would someday, well, not fade, but the intensity would lessen. Inevitable naman yan. But siguro kahit na nalessen na yung intense feeling niyo para sa isa't isa, as long as friendship is there, you two would surpass whatever marriage life would offer."
I smiled.
"Gulo ko, noh? But i don't know. If things are really complicated, why marry? Aayos ba yung buhay mo pag nagpakasal ka? Hindi naman ata. Some say that being single is a curse, but really, it is not. In fact, it is a blessing. You are given the rare opportunity to enjoy life without any restrictions," she continued.
Sara's now a matured woman. Her insights are.. deep and considerate. Dave is really good for her.
"Nasagot ko na yung tanong mo," she said, "now answer me, bakit bumalik ka agad? Problems?"
I shook my head, "i'll tell you pag okay na."
She smiled and held my hands, "you know that i'm always here. It will be over soon, Dana. Problems won't last forever. You'll soon have your blissful ending.."
"How i wish," i silently uttered.
**
Andy's Point of View
"Glorie, will you stop crying and talk to me?" i said and shook her shoulders.
Kanina pa kami dito sa labas ng office ng attorney para alamin kung ano bang dapat gawin dun sa kaso ni Andrei liit kaya lang ayaw namang magsalita ni pouty!
Hindi pa din siya nagsalita. Ano ba kasing sinabi nung lalaking yun at ganito na lang kung makaiyak 'to??
"Sorry, Louie. You should've been with Dana instead of watching me cry," sabi niya. Hindi na lang ako nagsalita. Ano ba naman kasi yung sasabihin ko? Na hindi ko siya maiwan kasi naawa ako nung nakita ko siyang umiyak? Naging malapit na din sa akin si pouty. Lagpas isang buwan akong nagstay dito tapos sa buong pagsstay ko dito, siya na yung kasama ko. Siguro kung hindi niya ako kinulit dati, nagmumukmok pa din ako sa bahay ko.
Kahit na sabihin na si Dana yung mahal ko, hindi ko kayang iwan basta si Pouty. Siya yung nandun nung iniwan ako ni Dana. Ngayong kailangan niya ako, sino ba naman ako para iwan siya?
"Stop with the Dana thing, pouty. I'll take care of that matter after this."
Nginitian niya ako, "thanks a lot, Louie. I don't know what to do without you.."
Pinat ko yung ulo niya, "of course. You're dumb and you can't do anything right without my guidance and providence."
Buti naman tumawa na 'to! "Of course. Conceited jerk as ever."
Pagkatapos nun, pumasok na kami sa lawyer's office. Tsk. Buti na lang mabait ako ngayon. Ewan ko ba, ako pa nagbayad sa professional fee nung lawyer. =___= Bayaan na nga, pasko naman.
Paglabas namin nung office, "so, can you contact whoever that jerk is?"
Nagnod siya. Tignan mo nga naman. May number si pouty! Stalker na stalker ang dating eh! Hahaha!
Hinanap niya sa pocket nung bag niya yung contact list niya.
"Here, Hans Peterson."
Ay anak ng!
**
Dana's Point of View
"Sino pong hinahanap niyo?" a certain someone asked me while i was trying to decide whether i would ring the bell or not.
I decided to push through, "is Ynna around?"
Nginitian ako nung kasambahay, "ay, si senorita Ynna po? Pasok po kayo.."
She led me inside the mansion of the Henares Family.
"Pupuntahan ko po muna si senorita. Ano nga pong pangalan niyo?"
"Dana. Dana Kathryn Ferrer," i said.
She went upstairs then someone gave me refreshment while waiting.
"Punta na daw po kayo," sabi nung maid, "sa second floor po.."
I nodded, "i know."
I went upstairs, taking the familiar steps towards her room. As i stepped in front of her room, i summoned all the courage i have left and knocked.
Nobody acknowledged my presence so i took the liberty to get inside her room since i know that she's there.
"Hi," i silently uttered.
I gazed towards her direction and i can't help but feel pity towards her. She.. doesn't look very good. She doesn't look like the same person who made my life hell years ago.. But nevertheless, whatever she may look, she will never lose the capacity to ruin my life, that thing i know for sure.
She looked at me and smiled, "back so soon, Dana. I was still enjoying Cyriel's attention all for myself," she said though she looked like she's really having a hard time composing sentence.
I sat on the couch adjacent to her bed, "i'm here to break some news."
She took a deep breath, "and what do i have do to with that?"
I shrugged, "nothing, actually. I just want to see you right now, looking miserable. Can i take a picture for memories' sake?"
She smirked at me, "do as you please, Ferrer."
After that, a long silence enveloped both of us. And when i decided to break it, i said, "i am pregnant."
She turned her gaze towards me and said, "with Cy's child? I'll be a good stepmother."
I laughed. Really hard.
"Have you lost your mind? What the f.uck?"
She shrugged, "stating possibilities."
"I'm pregant, Ynna. Cyriel is the father.. Can you not give up?"
She looked at me with a straight face, "you're just as pathetic as i am, Dana. You're asking me to give up? Why? Are you not that confident that Cyriel will choose you over me?"
I nodded. There's no use to deny that fact. I am scared. Scared of what she is for Cyriel.
"Ynna, we both know for a fact that you can never give Cyriel a family of his own.. You will leave him.. eventually."
She smirked, "we can have your baby."
I smirked as well, "as if that will ever happen."
She tried to sit down but failed, "never thought this day would come.. But i'm telling you, i don't care if you're pregnant or what. I love him. I wouldn't get this far for nothing. I won't back down. Not now, not ever."
I sighed an exasperated sigh, "aren't you getting tired of these?"
"Don't i look tired? Of course i am. But i won't give up just because of that. He's the only thing that keeps me intact. I can't give him up."
I gave up. This is the last straw. Pagod na din ako..
"Let's make a truce.." she looked at me, "if he wants to be with you, i will give up. I won't bother him with anything. At all.. But if he wants to be with me instead, please let us live in peace, Ynna. Napapagod na ako."
She gave me a sly smile, "if i say yes, would you trust my word?"
I nodded, "i would. Do i have another choice?"
She shrugged, "let's see," then she gave me a smile that made me think twice about trusting her, "but you know i never played fair."
**
After talking to Ynna, i went home.
"Dana!" my mom called.
I went near her and hugged her, "mom," i called out her name.
She smiled at me and hugged me back, "what happened to my baby? Did Miami do you good?"
I stopped. What has Miami done to me? It made me realize things. I can't have them both, it's either i get one of them, or lose both of them.
Whenever the memory of Andy fooling around with Glorie plays in the back of my head, it just rubs on my face how lonely my life is. Whenever i see Ynna lying on her bed helpless, it makes me feel really pathetic knowing that she's the better choice for someone out there.
"Mom.." i trailed off.
She held my face and stared at me, "Dana, is something wrong? Tell me, kinakabahan ako sa'yo eh.."
I shook my head. I can't tell her, not until i confront Cyriel.
Instead, i smiled at her, "i love you, mom."
She pressed both of my hands, "i you, you know that."
My dad arrived afterwards. We ate dinner altogether, just like what a family does.
**
Andy's Point of View
"F.uck! What's wrong with you?" sigaw nung t.anginang Hans na yun.
"You're a piece of shi.t! A good for nothing jerk who likes to ruin woman's life!" tapos sinapak ko ulit siya.
F.uck! Pagkatapos ng ilang taon kong paghahanap sa Hans na 'to, dito lang pala sa Miami ko makikita 'to? Shet talaga!
"What the f.uck is wrong with you man?!"
Tinulak ko siya, "you. I f.ucking want to kill you and burn you and escort you to hell , you f.ucking bastartd"
"Louie!"
Napatingin ako kay Glorie, tumatakbo siya papunta sa amin.
"Louie, what did you do?!" sigaw niya sakin tapos nilapitan niya yung Hans na yun.
"Just doing you a favor," sabi ko habang tinitignan yung Hans na g.agong yun.
"What is wrong with you, Louie? You said you will talk to him, not beat the crap out of him!" tapos pinunasan niya yung duguang mukha nung Hans na yun.
Hindi ko na alam yung nagawa ko eh. Nung nakita ko siya, bumalik lahat nung nangyari nung 16 years old ako, nung namatay si Lynne, nung namatay yung anak niya. Nagdilim na yung paningin ko. Idagdag mo pa na siya pala yung g.ago na nang iwan kay Glorie at Andrei. Ano ba yung hobby niya? Mang buntis ng babae tapos biglang mawala? Eh g.ago pala siya eh!
"He's an ass, Glorie."
Sinampal niya ako, "he's an ass but he's the father of my baby!"
Natawa ako, "seriously, Glorie? After all the f.uck you went through, you will still stand with that ass?"
"Yes, Louie. I would stand with him no matter what the f.uck i would have to go through. That's what love means, Louie. It means suffering without asking for anything in return. I love him because he's the father of my child."
I smirked, "you will be miserable with him."
"You don't get to talk, Louie. What do you think you're doing with Dana? Don't you think that we're standing on the same page? You'll be miserable with her but what? You just keep on being with her, on understanding her. Why? Because you f.ucking love her! You love her, Louie! That is why even though she is pregnant with your best friend's child, there's still a part of you that wishes she'll be with you, that offers yourself to be the father of that child," tuloy tuloy niyang sabi.
Tinaas ko yung kamay ko para tumigil na siya, "stop, Glorie."
"No, i won't stop, Louie. You need to hear me out. The reason you chose to be with me instead of being with Dana? You wanna know? Because you are an ass! During the brief period i got to spend with you, i know you well enough. You don't want to be there when it happens because you know that when you see her cry, everything will go black. You will do anything for her to the point that you will be your pathetic self again. You will offer to father her child. You're scared, right? Scared of what might happen."
Natahimik ako. Ano ba, Glorie?!
"Don't talk as if you know me," sabi ko.
"Oh, yes i f.ucking know you, Louie. Just get the hell out of Miami and finish your issues!"
Hindi ako nagsalita. Ano bang gagawin ko?
"You love her but you are scared, Louie. Be there. Tell her how you feel and when she finally made her decision, i'll be here. Come heaven, come hell, i'll be here. If she wants to be with you, i will be the happiest person for you. And if she didn't choose you, i will be here and help you forget her."
Lumapit siya sa akin, "i kind of love you, Louie. But i am not selfish to want to have you for myself. You want to be with her, then go for it. If she doesn't want to, come back to me. I don't mind catching you," tapos hinalikan niya ako sa pisngi.
Niyakap ko siya, "thank you, Glorie."
"You owe me, Guzman," sabi niya. Natawa naman ako. Nagaya na kay Nof eh! "I'll be waiting," sabi niya.
Ngumiti ako bago nagsimulang tumakbo pabalik sa sasakyan ko, "i'll be with her when i see you."
**
Dana's Point of View
"Cyriel," i called out.
I went to Dave's bar.
I went near him and the smell of alcohol welcomed me.
"You're back," sabi niya.
I sat on the stool near him, "bakit ka umiinom?"
Ngumiti siya, "you tell me. Why would i drink?"
"Ano bang sinasabi mo, Cyriel? May problema ba tayo na hindi ko alam?"
He shrugged, "i don't know. I don't even know why i am drinking. Wala na tayo, di ba? Wala naman akong karapatang magselos. Di ba?"
"What are you saying? Ano bang pinag uusapan natin?" i asked him.
"I'm jealous, Dana! No, f.uck, i am furious!"
Natakot ako. For the first time, ngayon ko lang nakita si Cyriel na ganito.. Galit ba siya dahil nagkita kami ni Andy at tumira sa iisang bahay?
"I-i didn't mean to, Cyriel.. I didn't know that would happen," i reasoned out. I really didn't know na dun kami pupunta ni Nof! I was surprised as well.
Natawa siya, "no need to explain, Dana. Wala naman akong karapatan eh.."
"Cyriel naman! Don't talk to me like this.." lalo pa't magkakaanak na tayo.
"How to talk to you, Dana? Tell me. Hindi ko na din kasi alam.."
"I am pregnant, Cyriel."
There. I said it.
"Are you really trying to kill me here, Dana?"
Ano?
"W-what, Cyriel? I said i am pregnant! You're gonna be a father!" i almost shouted. What the hell is wrong with him? Why is he acting like this?
Natawa siya, "really? Is it me?"
Sinampal ko siya, "how dare you! I may have lived with Andy but the hell, Cyriel! I am not that kind of person!"
Natigilan siya, "you lived with Andy?"
"Yes, that's the reason why you're angry!"
Ininom niya yung scotch sa harap niya, "more the reason it's hard to believe, Dana."
Tumayo siya. Hinabol ko siya, "so, ganon na lang yun, Cyriel? I tell you i am pregnant then you will act like some jerk with commitment issues?!"
He stopped from his tracks, "you tell me what to believe," tapos inabot niya sa akin yung isang envelope.
F.uck.
What is this?
"Hindi 'to totoo!" i shouted.
"I don't know what to believe anymore, Dana. I love you but you just keep on giving me reason not to.."
I slapped him again, "it's your child, Cyriel! You know you're my first! How dare you doubt me?!"
He smirked, "first, second, third, does it really matter? Hindi naman eh. I told you i don't care about virginity shts, Dana! Kahit may nangyari sa inyo ni Andy, what did i tell you? I would still have you! I would accept that child but tell me, who's the father?"
I punched him, slapped him, cursed him.
"Cyriel Edrian Perez, you are the father of my child and i hate you!"
I left him standing there and cried myself out. How could he? How could he think like that?!
I called Josh.
"Josh.."
("D.")
"Where are you?"
("Area 06. Why?")
I didn't answer and ended the call instead. I went there and the moment i saw him, i gave him the hardest slap i could muster.
"I trusted you.." i said and cried.
The envelope Cyriel gave me contains pictures of me and Josh when we went to his hotel room. When you see the picture, it looks like we went in there together.
"I- i'm sorry, D. But you deserve it," he said.
I looked at him with disbelief in my eyes, "what did you say? I deserve to be doubted by the father of my child?"
"You deserve it, D. For what you did to Jamie. She did nothing to you but you killed her."
I snapped, "i didn't kill her, Josh! You know that! How many times did i tell you how sorry i am for what had happened to her?! You know the remorse that haunts me every single day!"
"Tat for a tat, D. You killed her, you deserve that. At least."
I stared at him. Is this really Josh that i am talking to?
"You're unbelievable, Josh."
"D.. Just.. blood is always thicker than water.."
I just forced a laugh, "the f.uck with you people! You planned this, didn't you?! You and your cousin!"
You know i never fight fair.
"From the very beginning, you've been toying with me! You made me doubt Cyriel, you made him believe that he's not the father of my child. Everything has been planned out. You.." i broke down and cried.
Josh tried to console me, "i'm sorry, D. But i need to do that. For Jamie. She's the only family i have here but you killed her.. You can't blame me for doing this.."
I looked at him while crying, "you think this will make her happy?"
He shook his head, "i don't know. But at least she got her revenge."
I stood up, "well, you got your revenge.. and you lost a friend, Josh. Don't you ever show your face infront of me again."
**
Cyriel's Point of View
"What?!" sabi ko dun sa pinsan ni Ynna na kasama ni Dana sa picture.
"That.. that picture.. it was my fault. Nothing happened between the two of us. Look, tell her i am sorry. She's a friend."
Napailing na lang ako. Ano bang nangyayari sa buhay ko? Pinagdudahan ko si Dana.
"Why are you doing this?" tanong ko sa kanya.
"Because she's a friend. And i feel sorry. I'm just trying to fix things," paliwanag niya.
Pagkatapos niyang ipaliwanag sa akin lahat ng nangyari, pumunta agad ako kay Dana.
Hintayin mo ako, Dana.
**
Dana's Point of View
"Senorita Dana, may naghahanap po sa inyo.."
I stood up even though i am feeling really dizzy.
"Sino daw po?"
"Si Andy po.."
I immediately went down upon hearing Andy's name. What is he doing here? I thought..
As soon as he laid his eyes on me, he hugged me and said those words..
"I love you, Dana. I'll father your child, just be with me.." he said
"Dana," i turned and saw Cyriel standing behind us, "i'm sorry. Please take me back."