(6th June, 2011)
It's been two days since Rick announced that we were going to war, I was on noise duty with Carl, Maggie, and Noel. We had pots and buckets, slapping them with sticks and shouting. Michonne had the genius idea to put some of the barbed wire on the ground in front of the gate, to pop the tires when the Woodbury crowd try to attack us. We're just to distract the walkers from our people in the field as they set up Michonne's idea. Once we saw that they were driving back up the prison, we made our way back up through the walk way between the two outside prison fences.
"Race ya!" Carl called before he took off, me and Noel quickened our pace, racing him to the top. "Cheater!" I call at Carl who had reached the top before me and Noel, "that wasn't fair, you got a head start." I playfully shove Carl as Noel opens the gate, he laughed lightly, "no you're just slow." He snarked back at me and I faked a gasp at the insult, slapping a hand across my chest as if he shot me. Noel started laughing at me and Carl's interaction, telling us to shut up and go join the adults. We didn't have to be told twice as we heard Glenn say, "they try to drive up to the gate again, maybe some blown tires will stop them."
Rick complimented the idea, and Daryl points out that it was Michonne's, who was the next one to speak up and say, "we don't have to win. We just have to make their getting at us more trouble than it's worth. Like Noel's idea of keeping the walkers in the field." I smile over at my little brother who puffed out his chest in pride of his idea.
"I'm still mad you cheated," I tell Carl as we make our way up to our neighbouring cells, he laughs, "I request a rematch." I continue as I grab a change of clothes, "either way I'd win." Carl spoke up coming in behind me, I roll my eyes at him, "cocky much?" He tipped his hat me, "no just confident that you're way slower than me." I scoff at his remark, I grab my wash cloth from my bag. "Will you keep an eye on Noel and Naomi for me while I clean up?" I question him as I fold everything and put them in my messenger bag to carry to the shower room, "yeah, course. Will you join me on watch tonight?" I let a moment pause to make Carl squirm a bit from asking me to join him again tonight, "sure," I smile at him before approaching Daryl.
"Can you show me where you found the showers?" I question him, he nods and asks me if I'm ready, I nod and follow him. It only took two minutes to get there, "I'll wait out here for you, to walk you back." I nod and thanked him before entering the shower room. I took a two minute shower, scrubbed all the dirt and blood off my skin with my wash cloth and washed my hair with the shampoo and condition Michonne picked up on her last run. I got dressed into a black cami top with a purple flannel over it, I pulled on my jeans, socks and combat boots.
I spent a few minutes drying and brushing my hair before rejoining Daryl outside the room. "Better?" I questioned doing a spin for Daryl, "yeah, now come on, I got shit to do." I smile at him and walked back to Cell Block C talking about maybe going to retrieve my bike once the Governor is dealt with. "See you later Daryl." I smile at him as I watch him leave the building, when I arrive at the cell block, I look around to see all the under 18 members of the group around. I make my way over to Carl and Naomi who were playing with Naomi's favourite toys, aka plastic farm animals.
"Hey, can I join?" I question, Carl looks up at me and I almost see his jaw drop a little, Naomi pulls me to the ground as a blush paints on my cheeks. "So what's going on here?" I asked Carl to explain the game to me, "well Naomi here has been stealing my pigs and won't give them back." I nod understandably, "did these pigs have names?" I questioned, Naomi nodded, "Bobby, Pinky and Nyx." She informs me, I give them a confused face, "I don't know if I should be honoured you named your precious animals after me or offended that it's a pig." Carl chuckles at my words, "ask Naomi, she picked the names." I look at my sister who smiles at me.
"Piggy Nyx is mommy pig for Bobby and Pinky, ike you for me and Noel." I blushed at Naomi's words, "I'm your sister Naomi, not your mommy." I try to explain but Noel buts into the conversation joining us, "you act like a mother, not our one, but a good mom." "Nyx... I no you're my s- sis- ter, mommy is gone ike daddy." I didn't feel any better by Naomi's words, she's a smart kid but still all I can do is feel guilty for what I did. "I- I'll be back." I got up and made my way out to the catwalk for some air, I sat on the ground and took in a deep breath.
After 20 minutes of sitting down in the catwalk, thinking about nothing in particular, just listening to all the sounds around me. The walkers were quieter than usual, I was actually able to hear the birds sing. I got up deciding that I've wasted enough time hiding from the others. I make my way back to the cell block, I spot Glenn making his way into Hershel's cell and Rick sitting at the bench with Carl and Judith.
"You haven't seen Michonne have you? She promised she'd help me out with my traps." Rick shook his head no, "I'll go with you." Carl offered, I looked at Rick as if to ask him if he's ok with that. "One hour and I want you both back." Carl and I agree to Rick's terms, I grab my bow and arrows, Carl collects his knife before we make our way out of the prison. As Carl was locking the gate that started then prison fence walk way, I smirked and said I'd race him before taking off.
I ran as fast as I could and successfully beating Carl, I did a little victory dance as he opened the gate into the entrance of the prison field. "Come on, we shouldn't be out here by ourselves too long." I extended my hand to Carl, who took it without hesitation and we both jogged off towards my traps and avoiding walkers. "Are you ok? You kinda disappeared earlier..." Carl spoke up, I let go of his hand to collect our badger, I searched it and it had no scratches or bites. "Yeah, I'm good, I just needed to take a pause for a while." Carl questioned me about what a pause was, "just clear my mind, stop me from overthinking something or sort through some of my feelings." Carl nodded understandably, "you know you can talk to me right?" Carl continues to question me, I just shrug, "I struggle admitting how I feel to anyone, including myself sometimes..." Carl sent me a sad smile and asked me to try open up with him, "we'll talk up in the tower." I told him as we moved onto my next trap.
Rick greeted us when we arrived back at the prison, he told us to find Glenn and Hershel and inform them that we're going to have a meeting. Carl went looking for Glenn and I went looking for Hershel. I found the one legged man, putting his bible back into his cell, "Rick has called a meeting outside, he asked me to come and get you." I informed Hershel, Noel joined us and I took Naomi's hand, as the four of us made our way to the meeting point. We sit down on the benches, Noel and Naomi next to Carl and I sat on the other side of Naomi. Hershel and Beth sat behind us, Carol stayed standing to my left against the wall holding Judith. Rick stood at the entrance of our little courtyard and Glenn and Maggie arrived soon, they stayed standing to our right.
Rick started to look around the group as he began to speak, "when I met with the Governor, he offered me a deal. He said... he said he would leave us alone if I gave him Michonne." My breath hitched at Rick's words, Michonne was one of us and he wasn't going to let us all live anyways. "And I was gonna do that... to keep us safe." I let out a shaky breath as Rick continues, "I changed my mind. But now Merle took Michonne to fulfill the deal and Daryl went to stop him and I don't know if it's too late. I was wrong not to tell you. And I'm sorry." Even though this whole situation is a shit storm, I'm glad that Rick changed his mind that means he was becoming his old self again, the cop self that Carl told me about
"What I said last year, that first night after the farm... it can't be like that. It can't. What we do, what we're willing to do, who we are, it's not my call. It can't be. I couldn't sacrifice one of us for the greater good because we are the greater good. We're the reason we're still here, not me. This is life and death. How you live... how you die. It isn't up to me. I'm not your Governor. We choose to go. We choose to stay. We stick together. We vote. We can stay and we can fight or we can go." I allowed a small smile to play on my lips, Rick and I made eye contact, I nodded my head at him, he repeated the gesture before turning around and leaving.
"This is progress right?" Glenn questioned the room, "definitely, let's just hope that Daryl can stop Merle." I answer him, we share a nod and I notice something shiny on Maggie's finger, my eyes widen at the sight. Glenn must've noticed my discovery of their engagement, he slapped a finger to his lips to tell me to keep it quiet. I sent him a wink and a smile, before standing up and taking Judith off of Carol when she began to cry. I start to rock her, she's a bit cranky because it's time for her nap, "I'll put her to bed, and keep an eye on her, give you and Beth a break for a couple of hours." Carl stood up and stormed off, I watched him in confusion and nodded at Noel to go after him. "Come on Naomi, it's nap time." Naomi yawns, wraps her small hand around the belt loop in my jeans, since my hands were holding Judith. I walked slowly so that Naomi could keep up, we went to my cell and I put the two small girls into their beds. "Nyx? Wead a store-we." I nod and pulled out Mulan, my favourite Disney princess, she was a badass and saves all of China, a strong role model for Naomi.