ACTION FIGURE!
⊹☀︎˖ ࣪ᯤ SUNNY : VAN EVERY
𖥔☼˖ ࣪ᯤ NCT : #𝗧𝗪𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗬 𝗙𝗜𝗥𝗦𝗧
❝𝖬𝗔𝖪𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝖱 𝖣𝖱𝗘𝗔𝖬𝖲 𝖧𝗜𝖦𝖧𝗘𝖱, 𝖲𝖧𝗢𝖶 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝖱 𝖣𝗘𝖲𝗜𝖱𝗘❞
𖥔☼˖ ࣪ᯤ strawberry fields
𖥔☼˖ ࣪⌗ length : 2.2k+
𖥔☼˖ ࣪⌗ pairings : yangyang x sunny, minor sunny x hendery, minor sunny x ten, mentions of the rest of wayv, super small mention of superm
𖥔☼˖ ࣪⌗ summary : when too many of her senses get overwhelmed, yangyang hides her from the world; one of many instances that gave yangyang the nickname "sunny's personal bodyguard"
𖥔☼˖ ࣪⌗ trope : comfort?, fluff?, pretty self indulgent honestly
𖥔☼˖ ࣪⌗ warnings : descriptions of a panic attack, slight disassociation, swearing, barely any dialogue because sunny goes nonverbal as a result of her panic attack, crappy math metaphor in the first part
𖥔☼˖ ࣪⌗ note : english is in italics and bold is sunny's inner voice. this was written back in 2020 so i don't know how accurate the dates and all are. there might be a lot of grammatical errors too. i'm pretty sure i was eating strawberries when i named this and i won't change it because i can't think of anything else </3 this is self indulgent because i just love yangyang comfort fics 😮💨
november 22, 2019—icn
IT NEVER OCCURRED TO ELEVEN YEAR OLD SUNNY THAT HER FEAR OF AIRPORTS WOULD GET WORSE AS YEARS PASSED. going back and forth from california and south korea—plus her small trips to the netherlands and china— she figured her anxiety would decrease until it was as normal as being inside her dad's office. she never understood what was going on, but she liked seeing and hearing about his work as an aeronautical engineer.
a small part of sunny always felt that the fear she had while inside an airport would follow her into adulthood, but she wanted to think positive.
it dawned on her now at the age of twenty one, standing outside of the airport with fansites and cameras surrounding her, that it was stupid to think adding more trauma would cancel it out. and it dawned on her that her middle schools algebra teachers were all wrong. math would not help her in the real world because isolating the variable ❪ fear of airports ❫ did NOT help.
sunny waves awkwardly, an equally awkward smile plastered on her face. she was partially hidden behind hendery, the hand she wasn't using to wave tightly holding onto the straps of his bag. feeling small tugs on his saint laurent bag as the group begins to walk inside the airport, the younger man throws an arm back and pulls sunny forward so she's next him.
"don't worry, sunny. you'll be sleeping on the plane in no time." hendery says and comfortingly squeezes her shoulder. she lifts her head up and gives him a tight lipped smile. yangyang slows down his pace until he's next to them and offers sunny a smile.
"you're going to be sleeping so well you'll live up to your nickname, piglet." he jokes and teasingly begins to snore. "it's not my fault you guys' snoring has rubbed off on me!" sunny argues defensively and pushes the taiwanese native away from her. the two men laugh and she genuinely smiles for the first time since arriving at the building.
a few hours later—wuh
SUNNY FEELS OVERWHELMED. she feels scared. she feels nervous. she feels lost. she feels like her head is going to explode from how hyper aware she's become. she can hear the thud from suitcases being pulled off the large conveyor belt and dropped to the ground. she can hear the conversations from the people around her, catching small words and grunts and laughs. she can hear small dings from farther inside the airport. she can hear kun conversing with their manager over who knows what. it's like she's lost her ability to understand chinese.
she can hear every sound being made all at once and her hands tremble slightly as she pulls her wireless earbuds out of her bag and quickly puts an airpod in each ear.
the sound indicating they connected to her phone echoes and the world around her is much quieter now. sunny focuses on taking deep breaths as she trails behind the group, mentally preparing herself for whatever disaster that could greet her past the exit.
what if it's a mob like last time? what if something gets thrown at me? how many people are here? they don't like me! why am i here!? i shouldn't be here!
this is one of the few moments where sunny wishes she were as naïve as people assume she is. not only are her senses uncomfortably overwhelmed by her surroundings—a usual occurrence thanks to the incident from two years prior—but she's also aware of the large amount of anti's waiting for her.
sunny expected the hatred when her debut in superm was confirmed. people haven't been fond of her since she debuted and she's come to terms with it. she didn't expect her already huge group of anti's to almost triple. it didn't help that the company had been made aware and despite kun's persistence, decided to do nothing. they just left her to fend for herself. like always. which is a part of life, she tells herself. but why is the most hated member left with the least amount of security? shouldn't it be the other way around?
her eyes water and sunny begins to feel like she's losing it. her heart beats as fast as the cameras flashing around her. the screams and clicks from the camera shutters blend into a single loud noise in her head. she can feel her hands begin to shake inside her pockets and her nails dig into the palms of her hands. her chest begins to rise much faster and she bites her lip to prevent herself from hyperventilating.
stop fucking shaking. why am i shaking so much? is this a panic attack? no shit, sherlock! what else would it be?! or maybe it's my nerves?... who am i kidding, of course it's not! how am i supposed to protect myself like this? what the fuck is going on? i need to get out of here. i want to go home. oh god.
her vision was beginning to blur and the panic and fear in her chest spreads to the rest of her body and mind like wildfire.
this isn't real—for fucks sake, sunny! calm down. don't make a scene! don't be a crybaby! do not make a scene! fuck they're everywhere. are they going to get me? who is it? who fucking is it!? focus, sunny! FOCUS!
the loud noise is slowly replaced by ringing and she wants to rip off her airpods but it's the one thing protecting her from hearing everything to its full extent.
sunny is stuck on autopilot as her mind travels elsewhere to protect her from falling deeper into the panic attack. she can no longer feel her body and she doesn't process her legs moving beneath her. she feels like atlas, carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. it's getting much harder to breath and she doesn't notice when she brings her hands up to pull her beanie down, trying to cover her ears as much as possible until her eyes are almost covered. it feels like everyone's eyes are on her—which they are—and she just wants to hide.
sunny, what the fuck did you do? how did i get here? fuck. how do i get out of here? holy shit. please just get out of here! hurry up. i don't know where— oh god. just keep your head down and try not to fall.
just keep your head down and try not to fall.
just keep your head down and try not to fall!
KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN AND TRY NO—
"in this world of ordinary people~"
sunny flinches as a gentle yet familiar voice sings in her ears. she slowly comes back down and blinks confused as the world spins around her. she hadn't even felt when her body had been maneuvered. she tilts her head up and finds a pink haired boy looking down at her worriedly. he had an arm over her shoulder and his other hand barely held on to her left wrist.
"extraordinary people~"
she shakily takes her phone out of her pocket and tries to remember when and how she started playing music, but nothing shows up on her screen. noticing this, yangyang slides his phone in front of hers, showing her the album julie is her name playing from his spotify. "this is your favorite album of hers, right?" she can faintly hear him ask and she nods slowly. she returns her phone to her pocket. she doesn't know which language he used to communicate but she understood.
okay, i can understand him. it's a start. okay...
when they had been sharing their spotify wrapped back in december, yangyang had noted how often the name julie london showed up. when he realized that sunny's airpods had connected to his phone instead of hers, he opened the music app and searched for one of her favorite artists.
the german boy can feel the older woman shaking in his arms. her legs feel shaky and she clutches onto his jacket tightly when someone attempts to reach out for her. yangyang pulls her even closer and turns up the volume to his phone a bit more. he puts a hand on the back of her head and pulls her closer to him.
in moments like these, the last thing to do is touch sunny. it always makes it harder for her to calm down. but being in a large building with thousands of faces around, being held by someone dear gave her a sense of security. made her feel sane.
the pink haired boy had noticed how fidgety sunny had become as they walked through baggage claim. he had originally turned to pull her forward so she wasn't walking behind them all, but the far away look in her eyes made him slow down until he was at the back next to her.
yangyang had gently put a hand on her shoulder to let her register his presence—which she couldn't—and slowly pulled her towards him.
"the car's right there." sunny can hear him say as the song playing quiets down a bit. she hesitantly lifts her head up and spots the black van waiting for them. "i'm going to make you walk faster so you're the first in, okay?" she sniffles and meets his eyes.
it's english. he's talking in english.
sunny nods before closing her eyes. like he had said, their pace gets quicker and she can hear him saying something to the other boys as he gently pushes through. something along the lines of "panic" and "we'll take those seats." which seats he's referring to, she has no clue but she hopes they're in front of the car already.
"go in, sunny." she opens her eyes and lets go of the younger boy, stumbling into the van and practically throwing herself to the back. she hopes it's those seats he was talking about. sunny slides to the left window seat, away from the cameras and faces dizzying her, and quickly puts on her seatbelt. she closes her eyes and takes deep breaths like many times before.
in through your nose and silent whistle. in through your nose and silent whistle. in through your nose and silent whistle.
the vehicle vibrates and sunny assumes it's because the car is starting to drive off. she waits a couple of seconds and slowly opens an eye. she sees tufts of white hair in front of her who she recognizes as xiaojun's. winwin is sat in the seat next to him, recognizing the black cap and red plaid jacket. she doesn't know the rest of the seating arrangements but she doesn't want to move to see. she closes her eye.
"...i love to live with you beside me~"
sunny blindly moves her hand to the space next to her, searching for something that can tell her who's sat by her side. her hand lands on skin and she carefully feels around, finding loose string and small gaps. she plays with the ripped material as she tries to remember who is wearing ripped jeans.
ripped jeans. black or blue?... i don't know. it's ripped. is this a knee?... a thigh? wait. yangyang is wearing ripped jeans.
yangyang presses his phone's volume button twice, assuming sunny's wandering hand is because of the low volume.
"this role so new... i'll muddle through with you to guide me~"
the american woman feels her heartbeat slow down to the decades old love song. she slides her hand over yangyang's thigh to find his, carefully running her fingers over his knuckles. he turns his hand around and leaves his palm facing upwards. sunny's palm meets his and she carefully interlocks her fingers with his, the boy reassuringly squeezing her trembling hand.
yangyang watches as she leans into his side and rests her head on his chest, her strawberry scented hair reaching his nostrils. she snakes an arm under his padded jacket until it's around his waist and weakly grabs a handful of his hoodie to secure it there. he rests his free hand on her left knee and she snuggles into him more. "can you breath?" she hears him ask distantly. she feels her chest rise and drop slowly so she responds with a single nod.
sunny slowly opens her eyes and meets those of ten who's sat next to yangyang. he slightly raises a brow and silently asks, are you okay? she offers him a tired smile and shrugs. her entirety feels mushy and slow. like syrup. and she wonders if that's how clouds feel as she looks at them through tens window. the thai man returns the smile and comfortingly tucks stray strands of hair behind her ear, folding the edges of her beanie to do so.
sunny sighs and closes her eyes once again. she was too anxious to nap on the plane so she'll nap in yangyang's hold until they reach their destination. yeah, the gentle voice of the woman singing in her ears slowly lulls her to sleep. they can wake me up.
ⓒ choxrry