After 7 long chapters this comes to an end. :")
*****
"Who said you were ever on my list of chances?". She asked once she asked his mother to take her daughter after Zain already left without a word
Ahad eyes look at her pleading, "I can do anything. If I ever hit you then you can--".
"You are sick, Ahad". She said moving closer to him, "You are still not sure if you would hit me or not and you want me to come to you in those slime chances. Chances are earned and you lost it when you blackmailed me with your love. You don't love me you made me your obsession. Yes, that is our child and you have rights on her and I will never stop you to reach her after I am sure you are good for her at least. You never once respected me and never cared for my feelings. You brought a woman for me to look at while you pleasure yourself and you call that love?. That is a sickness that you need to treat. I will never come back to you and if you don't give me a divorce then I will be forced to tell the police about the abuse".
With that, she turns around leaving the place taking a taxi back to Zain's house. She enters inside hearing the cooing voice and she smiles when she finds Zain holding her daughter playing with her while her eyes were looking at him curiously.
"What would you name her?". Zain asked as he finds her walking in
"Amaal". She said taking her in her hands kissing her forehead, "She is my hope".
"I-I have something for you". Zain said as his cheeks turn a little pink and she hides her smile nodding
He passes her the stuffed toy she remembers she had told him that she loves but he said he couldn't get her.
She gasped, "How did you?".
He chuckles nervously, "I will tell you some other day. You should rest".
Obviously he wasn't going to confess that he had worked all these months to get this toy for her. He was actually bad at these games and it took long to win one.
"I will". She said softly, "Do you remember that house you told me about?".
"The cottage in the hill?. What about it?". He asked confused
"Please book it for me". She said sighing
Year later:
Amaal turned one.
She decided that she need to move away from that city to clear her head for once and for all. She cannot stay there while trying to move on from everything that happened there.
She was divorced.
It took a couple of months but at the end, she received the papers signed by him. He had gone in the hospital to seek help from a psychiatrist for his problems and she too continued to get help for her scars.
His problem was his problem alone. She doesn't need to stay and put up with him anymore when she wasn't the cause of his issues. He had used her and abused her in more than one way. Even if he had changed her heart would not stop bleeding in his presence. It's not about being a good woman to tolerate a man who had given her scars for life, no, we need to change that thinking.
The ratio of abuse is high in these past years and woman spends their whole lives for good for nothing husband wishing they will change.
They don't.
And even if they did that's good for them. It is not the responsibility of a woman to deal with man issues and vice versa. She came to build a home with him not to deal with his issues. If a woman after being raped or anything else, can look ahead and work to build a house with love and care so could the man but he chooses not to then there is no going back.
She would have forgiven him if he listened to her when she asked him for space, when she begged him to not force himself on her and before she fainted in his house again. However, he continued to mentally exhaust her and to the point she self-harm. That is not something she had to deal with. She had her life, choices and more. Why did she need to forgive/tolerate an ill fate for something that her heart still bleeds for?.
She wouldn't be able to stop her pain but she manages to pull it down considerably. She manages to build her walls and herself back from scratch, all alone.
She doesn't need to stay bound to someone she doesn't love.
She might have loved him if he had simply married her and let her be. Perhaps there would have been a chance. He never once listened to her in those months when she tried telling him that she didn't kill his mother. He always punished her even harsher for speaking. He took her shine, ability to smile, love and care. She had lost herself with him.
Abuse is not a joke and cannot be forgiven.
Never ever.
Abuse is when a person decides for themselves to hurt another human being, willingly. Abuse cannot be forgiven in any way no matter if the person repented. Abuse has a long term effect on human and the person who abuse is not a human. He might realise it sometime that he did wrong however what about the person whose abused?. When there is abuse there can never be love because love is when you cannot even think of hurting the other person. Perhaps, verbal abuse to some extent can be forgiven but there is no chance for physical abuse.
On the other hand, cheating on your partner is a sin. No matter how forgiving the partner is there is no way that is forgivable. Cheating is not a thing to be taken lightly. Cheating cannot be unseen. If someone did it, they need to be punished because no getting punished had started the circle of affairs where a woman is stuck by the society to bear a man who isn't even loyal and vice versa.
She understands through this time that her daughter wasn't a burden rather the society itself is a burden that loves bringing people down to feel that they are in power. Daughter were the reason a father enter into paradise. Woman is the one who carries the generations in them and they are the one who have the strength that no one can have to be able to give birth. Woman were never a burden rather the precious gem of the world that is now covered in coal to hide them.
She sits in the forest watching her mother sitting in front of the river but no matter how much she tries she cannot let go of the ropes that she is tied down to. She begged and scream for help however she is still on the ground.
"You know what". Her mother asked as she turns to look at her struggling
She shakes her head, "Help me, Ammi".
Her mother shakes her head, "This time it's not I who needs to help you".
"What do you mean?". She asked confused
"These ropes can only be opened if you are willing to. You are the one tying yourself down and you need to allow yourself free. Set yourself free and open the rope that is not allowing you that freedom. Don't be scared to be free and fight the one who tries to take it from you".
She understands that her staying here is kind of running away from everything and she had done that enough.
She packs her bag looking at her baby girl sleeping peacefully in her cot as she walks down the familiar neighbour that becomes her home. She smiles as the house came in view and she pressed the bell patiently waiting for the door to open.
"Zeenat". She heard him whisper as if he was scared she might not be real
She beams looking at him, "Yes, it's me".
"Are you real?". He asked shocked
She laughs wholeheartedly, "I think I am, Zain. What do you think?. Can this toy be the proof?".
She pushes the toy at him and his eyes widen when the realisation hit him.
"Oh my God". He said softly, "Come on in, it's cold here".
She nodded and he takes her luggage from her as she walks inside the house.
"Where is Ammi?". She asked looking around
"Kitchen". He said taking Amaal from her
She walks inside the kitchen inhaling the aroma that makes her smile.
"I still love your food". She said and his mother turned to her as her eyes brimmed with tear
She runs into her embrace hugging her tightly feeling at peace.
"I missed you so much, bacha". His mother said patting her back, "Let me look at you". She said pulling back placing her hand on her cheeks lovingly, "I am so glad you went away from here. Look at you, you are healthy and you are shining".
She smiles nodding, "It was a great trip. How is everything here?".
"Everything been empty. But I guess now that two of my favourite children are here everything will come back to life. Where is Amaal?". His mother said smiling
Just then Amaal came walking inside with her tiny feet towards her and she chuckles holding her in her hand turning to his mother who looks at Amaal with pure love.
"She has grown so big". His mother said caressing Amaal cheeks and she giggles making them smile
"Haina Ammi. Ittni se thi jub dekha tha aur dekhein ab khud chalna shoro kar dia hai". Zain said entering inside when Amaal ran away from him to her mother voice,"Per yeh hai k abhi bhi mere pass a kar roti nahi". (Right, mother. She was so little a while ago and now look at her trying to walk on her own) (and she still doesn't cry when I hold her)
"Ji. Yaad hai jub pehli dafa bhi ap nae pakra tha toh woh ro nahi rahi thi". She said smiling as she places Amaal on the counter, "Do you want to hold her?". (Yes. I remember when you held her for the first time she didn't cry as well)
"Yes, please. I have been dying to hold her". Zain said grinning at her
She laughs softly placing Amaal in his hand and his face lightens up watching her daughter in his hand while he plays with her. She watches as he speaks to her and she tries to speak back in few words she had learned clapping her hand excitedly.
"Come on! Let's have breakfast then we will all talk". His mother said and she nodded helping her set the table and they proceed to eat
She sits on the couch with Amaal playing with the stuffed toy that Zain got her.
"It's her favourite toy". She told Zain who was looking at Amaal
Zain nodded understanding, "I guess it makes sense. You loved it and your daughter loved it too".
She smiles, "What about him?".
"He is still going to the doctor for treatment. It will take time. Will, you allow Amaal to go with him?". Zain asked cautiously
She shrugged, "He is her father at the end of the day. He has his rights on her but I cannot allow them to be alone just yet especially when he hasn't recovered yet".
"I can be there". Zain offered
She nodded, "Then ask him when he would like to meet him".
"What if he asks to meet you?". Zain asked
"I will meet him". She replied
Zain smiles one of his breathtaking smiles, "You have grown so much over a year".
"Had to". She said smiling lightly
"Oh right!". Zain said running out of the lounge and coming back with his laptop, "Look. I found all the online courses for you since I know you told me that you don't wish to go to university and I hope you try going there for college experience but anyway I have found all the courses, especially that are flexible so you can easily study at any available time. I have everything ready I was waiting for you to come so I can enrol you".
"I would love that". She said excitedly because she had been wanting to study for a while
He smiles at her excitement the same he had seen a year ago at the carnival and he had been to a carnival once again but it wasn't the same. It was dull like everything else around him. His restaurant starts to turn empty and even though it was making a profit he misses those stolen glances and those few moments.
He had missed her.
He hadn't reached her over this period because he knows she needed herself in this time because she needs to find herself before anything else. Now, that he looks at her sitting in front of him he could tell that a year to herself she had become something more. She had gain weight (healthy) which was much needed and her face had this beautiful glow that makes her endearing. Her face was now clear of any scar and she didn't hide behind makeup as her face remains clear and enchanting.
He had never seen her without makeup or bruises until now. Even the time she lived with them she was healing from deep wounds and mental illness that took the life out of her. Now, that he focuses on her face he feels himself admiring her.
"Is tarha kyun dekh rahe hain?". She asked shyly as her cheeks start to flare (why are you looking at me like that)
He blinks, "Sorry. I am sorry. I didn't mean to. It's just I can't help but notice how much you have grown".
"Good one?". She said grinning
"Definitely". He said softly, "I will go ahead and inform Ahad then".
She nodded taking Amaal in her hands as Zain walks outside and she tries to calm down her racing heart. Zain took a deep breath once he was outside to relax as he feels like an idiot for watching her for so long.
"Ahad would like to meet you before her". Zain said coming back into the lounge, "Is today fine?".
"I would like to end it as soon as possible". She stated as she stands from her seat, "I will change Amaal and I then we can leave".
She went ahead to her room that she stayed in and it was still the same. Nothing has changed and she smiles realising there was a picture frame from the day of carnival where all four of them went. Imaan went her own way after the revelation because she stayed for her all this time and now that she was safe she had no reason instead Imaan wanted to find her own purpose.
After changing she walks outside and towards his car as they speak about the cottage she stayed in and everything else. She came to know that he had opened another branch of his restaurant and both of them are earning well enough. However, he was more into saving all the money rather upgrading his life, for now.
"He is there. I choose a public place so you know he can't hurt you. I will be here with Amaal so call me if you need me, ok?". He said softly knowing she is strong but this is her one of the biggest fear," Also, he had changed over the year so I am sure he won't hurt you at least. If there is anything then I am one call away".
She nodded smiling at his concern that warms her heart as she turns to leave towards the cafe of the mall. She walks inside to find him in one of the corners. His appearance was rather laidback as he did look like he had lost weight. His eyes were empty and the messy appearance was something new as he had always been the one to stay on top of fashion.
She walks towards him sitting in front of him.
"Zeenat". Ahad said looking at her as tears brimmed his eyes, "I am so sorry. I have been nothing but selfish. I am so sorry".
"Why?". She asked the one question that every victim has, "Why did you do that to me?".
"I was deep into my revenge and hatred for you. I closed off my family and everything that warm my heart and that help me see the clear path. I was resentful to you because my mother was the only one after my father died and she was gone. I just started to feel anger that I need to take out on someone and you being the perfect target. I know you were weak and wouldn't be able to fight back with a little warning from me. I know you will stay quiet and obedient and do everything I wanted. I know no matter how many times I hit you, disrespect you or use you for my pleasure you wouldn't speak a word. It was fun using my strength and feeling of having power over someone. When you fought back I wanted to have you again because you were the only one who always bows down to me and I know no one else would ever do that to me. With a child I know you will be weaker and you would have done anything for her. I was just--".
"I think I am done". She said cutting him off, "I hope you can at least be a human for our daughter".
She starts to walk hearing him calling her as she turns to him again,"What did you get from this revenge?". She pauses looking at him looking down,"You are alone, lost, empty and broken. You ever imagined what your daughter will think of you in future?. Do you think she can ever love you?. Leave love will she respect you?. What have you got from your famous revenge, Ahad?. Nothing. Nothing at all".
She starts to walk away from the cafe reaching his car and soon Zain came without words as they drive away. Zain stops the car watching Amaal sleeping so he went outside and she came out of the car standing beside him.
"This is the same place". She mumbles looking at the view that Zain brought her before
"My father was an abusive man". He said sighing and her eyes widen as she looks at him, "He used to abuse my mother and my mother stayed with him because of me. I hated that I was the reason she had to live with every day with those bruises".
"I--". She started
"You don't have to say anything. I know already. I have decided to be a man that my father was never able to be". Zain said sighing, "There is something more that I wish".
"What is that?". She asked softly
"I wish to spend my life with you and your daughter as my wife and my child". He said looking directly at her
Her heart stopped, "What?".
"Yes. I wish to have you two in my life not just as acquaintances but as my companion". He said smiling, "Only if you wish to".
"I need time". She said hurriedly walking back to the car
And he didn't ask her again for a month. She started her classes and working in the restaurant again. Zain decided to keep Amaal in the branch he works at because he doesn't trust the daycare. Amaal had grown onto Zain and he took her to meet Ahad which went well.
She looks at the empty restaurant where she remains with plenty of thoughts about the future. She understands something valuable over this time that it wasn't the marriage at fault. Marriage is the purest and precious gift of Lord to us.
It was the person at fault.
Marriage is not ever wrong and these days it is shown as something holding one back and something bad. No, it's not the marriage but the person one tied down to and it is not right to spend the rest of one life over such person. Instead, it is everyone right to be married again and to find love again.
Marriage is beautiful.
So was hers.
She looks at herself in the mirror of his room dressed into a bride and since they had done a small nikkah she was more than happy. She felt at peace when his mother dressed her and she remembers her mother wish to have her dressed beautifully.
She was an actual bride now.
Her face was glowing in the peace she had found after years of struggles. Her life had been hard and it was of no use to continue to live a life by herself. People depend on other people and that's how everything works. However, it is wrong to enter into marriage with your baggage hoping that the next person will endure all of it. Marriage works two ways and that's how it supposed to be. Enter into the phase when you are capable not when you are desperate.
She heard the door opening and her heart starts to beat rapidly in anticipation.
His heart stilled the moment his eyes laid on the ethereal beauty in front of him. His eyes take in every single feature of her and the admiration bloom in his eyes and the love he had for her increases. He was about to stop looking at her when he realises that now he can look at her as much as his heart desires and no one can stop him.
And he intends to do that.
They have come together after a long time and he wishes to cherish every single moment and to cherish her to end so she knows how much she means to him. His heart swells in emotions from love, care, adoration to tears as he felt like the happiest man right now. He never imagined that he would have her one day. He wishes for it but he wasn't ever sure yet here they were in a sacred bond.
"Kaisi lag rahi huin phir?". She asked teasing him knowing from his eyes everything that his words might not say (how do I look)
"Haseen". He said smiling as he steps closer to her taking her hand kissing them (beautiful)
"Zain". She said scared as he looks at her, "I have scars".
He smiles taking a step away as he opens his shirt enough to show her the burnt mark, "I have my own".
She gaps moving towards him placing her hand over his scar, "What?. How?".
"This was from my own stupidity. However, my father used to abuse me until I was 15 and he died in an accident. I have my scars and you have yours we can live together with them. While I tend to yours, you can tend to mine". He said placing a strand of her hair away kissing her forehead, "I will wait for you no matter how long it takes. Jaha ittna intezar kia hai waha aur sahi bus jub tk tum khud nahi chahti kuch bhi, mai woh kabhi nahi karo ga. Tumhara dil ab mera hai aur mai us ko khud takleef duin yeh ho nahi sakta".
(Where I waited until now I can wait more for you but as long as you don't want anything I will never do it. Your heart is mine and I will never think of hurting it myself)
Find respect and love will come with it.
She smiles hugging him tightly knowing they will lead a better life now.
It started with one bad marriage and it ended on a good one.
That was them.
Zain and his Zeenat.
The end.
******
This was a rather long journey not just in writing but emotionally for me. I have witnessed abuse (not on me) rather closely for a long time and the drastic effects. I have tried condensing as much as I could to show you how bad abuse is and how one cannot simply ignore it.
I have read stories here on wattpad and it always leaves me shocked when a beautiful woman choose to stay with the abuser. Obviously, not understanding the extent of abuse.
However, I wish we know that writing at some points holds power and that I can make a change in everyone minds who follows me by this story. I know everyone needs time to understand such sensitive topics and even though I have seen abuse I was never ready to write about it until I recently came across an abusive story that left me speechless. I spoke to my friend about it for hours and how and why trying to make sense somehow but we both never get to make sense out of it. Like why wasn't the girl shown different paths?. Why does it look like her life will end if she doesn't go back to that man again?. And my God, the fact that she calls his abuse as love- I lost few brain cells. I mean how can you love someone who hits you?.
In the end, these are just stories (that's what people say when someone points they are doing wrong) but I wish we can write better ones and not go into mainstream. I hope I never promoted abuse or any sort of bearing of abuse. If I did, know that I am still in the process of learning like everyone else.
Thank you so much.