11.
I was at a loss for words and I feel my hands tremble a little as I struggle to hold my phone over my ears. His voice sounds different, a lot different.. It's as if I have forgotten all about how his voice sounded throughout the years, it was that long since we last talked.
"Miss Yoon?" He calls for me when I was being unresponsive, an unfamiliar tone and unfamiliar name to escape his lips.
"Y-yes?" My eyes were glued to Jungkook's face. He was looking at me, waiting for the call to finish. I don't know if he knew it was Mingyu who called but base on his reaction, he probably does.
"Well, I'll see you tomorrow." He finished off in a monotone voice, clearly devoid of emotion. It was as if he wasn't eager or he just wanted to keep things professional. But who am I kidding? He's probably setting boundaries and drawing a line.
I hear the sound of the call ending, him hanging up even before I could say good bye.
"Don't tell me you're going," Jungkook quickly interrupted me.
"I have to,"
I'm trying to reason out because I'm not choosing this job just because of Mingyu, I needed a new job and a new start. It just so happens, I was given an opportunity, here, back home.
Jungkook clearly looks like he still wanted to say something but he pressed his lips into a thin line, looking down as he does so.
"If you say so," He defeatedly says. He looks at me again and forces a small smile as he pats my shoulders. "Who am I to tell you to do otherwise, right?"
My eyes widen ever so slightly with hearing the small crack in his voice. I never wanted to ask nor did I assume. I just knew that we settled anything we had from the start, where the lines were, and what my boundaries are. It pains me to say but I just wish that he'd understand why I'm doing this.
"This is a fresh start for me, Kookie.." I can see him narrowing his eyes as a more real and softer smile appears on his face with the mention of his nickname.
"I know, I understand." He wasn't telling me that, he's more so reminding himself. He opened his arms wide enough for me to get the message and I didn't hesitate in hugging him back.
We never did fight in all the years of our friendship. If we ever did, it was over trivial matters that we always make up for soon after. It's also because we just can't stay mad at each other for long— for we have definitely developed a soft spot for each other, our roles in each other's lives grow significantly important.
"I just don't want you to go and hurt yourself in the whole process again," I hear him whisper over my head, his hands around my shoulder.
"You know I'm stronger than that." I reply and I hear him sigh.
He has been by my side ever since Mingyu got out of the picture. He became my greatest supporter, my confidante, my study buddy— name it. We were together most of our times in college and now that we're spending our lives away from each other, seeing him again just makes the heart grow fonder. He has his place in my life and in my heart, not in a way that Mingyu has his but Jungkook definitely earned his spot in my life by being there for me all those times. We were each other's go to person and I understand his anxieties about all of this, I really do.
I try to pull away to look at him and give him the biggest assuring smile but he tightens his hug, whispering one last thing before we officially make up.
"Just lean on me, Nari. Whenever you need me, just lean on me."
It was another day to be grateful for. I wake up and slowly open my eyes as the sound of my alarm fills the room. It's 6 in the morning and I need to be in school by 8.
Last night, everything ended well for me and Jungkook. I wanted to believe that everything was okay because he had me believe that it was.
When we came back inside, we delivered the good news to my family and they were all thrilled. I could see Jungkook joining in the fun but I knew he was reluctant to still let me go. He knew whom I'd see after accepting this job and he knows exactly what it'll make me feel every time we'll cross paths. It's just, inevitable. I can't turn down this opportunity just because I'm running away from him. I can't live my life hurting forever. He's clearly unbothered and okay, I should show Mingyu that I'm also capable of being so.
I briefly wash up before I proceed to the living room, expecting no one to be up but to my surprise, I see Jungkook in his casual wear as he talks with someone over the phone.
"I'm in Nari's house, yes, I know." He was trying to lower down his voice to prevent anyone from hearing or waking up and he had his back turned so I couldn't see his face.
I tried to tip toe, avoiding any possible noise as to not interrupt him and the person he's talking to but I stop in my tracks when I hear the slight raise in his voice.
"What do you mean? How many times do I have to tell you that I won't leave Nari just because you tell me to,"
I immediately froze, was he talking to his fiancée?
"I know, I know. I'll be back in a few days, I'm staying over at the Yoons." It was quiet but I hear a small sigh escape his lips before he ended the call. I can feel he's stressed out and frustrated but I don't want him to see me and realize I've eavesdropped!
I try to walk over to the kitchen as fast as I can but I feel a hand stopping me, calling my name as he catches me. "Nari, you're awake?"
I hesitated but him slightly pulling my arm made me look at him. Jungkook was staring at me, with a towel around his neck and his hair still a little damp.
"Y-yes! Do you want to have breakfast with me?" I was stiff! That definitely sounded awkward!
He wasn't replying, he was just staring at me and it's making me grow anxious. He's probably thinking if I heard him over the phone or not and if he'll confront me about it.
To my relief, he didn't. "Sure. I can cook for us," He lets go of my hand, walking away towards to stove.
"What are you making?" I carefully stood beside him, peering into his face as he seriously grabs a couple of eggs and slices of bread. He has a small knot in his forehead, clearly showing he's in a foul mood this morning.
"Toast and eggs. Do you want anything else?" He stopped to take a glance, surprised with how close I stood beside him. "—I mean, any requests?"
"Anything you're making is fine," He nods and silently went about his way.
I sat on the kitchen counter, watching him cook for our breakfast today with his back turned to me. He sounds and looks like he's pissed off and stressed at the same time, to top it all off, he looks tired. He probably didn't sleep as much considering the fact that he has a lot of stuff going on in med school.
"You know, I can make breakfast for us and you can sit tight here and rest."
He was already busy frying the eggs when he spoke. "I'd be crazy if I left the cooking to you," I immediately frown.
"I learned how to cook already!" He's still going about the times I burnt several dishes when I was on cooking duty!
"Then I'd love it if you were to cook a meal for me someday." He was putting the slices of bread on the toaster.
He's making himself busy because by the looks of it, he absolutely has a lot on his mind. Just by the phone call, I know he's going through something he's hiding from me. All I knew about his fiancée was that he met her through med school, typical story of falling in love and eventually getting engaged. It was all too fast, though. I was only able to learn about her when they were already engaged but that was through Jungkook's stories only. I haven't actually met her yet.
He finished cooking, the bread's ready just in time and he places all the food in one plate and he brought it over the table so we could start eating.
"What time did you wake up?" I tried starting a conversation, to possibly light up the mood but by the tone of his voice, he still sounds stressed.
"I didn't sleep," It justifies the bags under his eye and how his complexion has turned into a sickly pale. How ironic of us, medical workers, that we tend to patients when they're sick but who does that when we're in need?
Our small breakfast was quiet, a few sighs here and there from him but I never had the courage to ask. I knew he'd want to tell me sooner or later. However, he's not ready yet. I can wait, I'll wait.
"I still can't believe you'll be working here from now on," My mothers comments. She's eyeing me from head to toe, checking if my clothes are okay or if I forgot anything. It's like she's sending her daughter to her first day of school.
"Well, you should get used to it by now." I smile back.
"Hey, you should double time!" My brother passes by and hurriedly hops in the car. Apparently, Jungkook offered to drive us to school today.
"Kookie, please drive safe, okay?" My mother then straightens Jungkook's collar as she bids good bye. My father was silently watching with a cheeky smile on his face.
"I will," Jungkook forced a smile right off his lips and he took a quick glance at me before he went and hopped in the driver's seat.
I gave my mom one last smile and a quick peck on his cheeks before I, too, went and sat in front of the car. I could hear my brother's happy whistling but Jungkook was silent. He has been ever since this morning.
"Hey, Nari." My brother suddenly called for me on the back seat. We're almost near the school. "How did you get the call? Did the HR call you?"
I almost forgot. I haven't really detailed how I got accepted. I just told them I got the call I was waiting for and voila, I'm on my way for my first day. I got called in early before the opening of classes actually starts just so that I could get accustomed to all the protocols and the environment.
"I got a call," I started off, a lump stuck in my throat. How can I tell him about the chairman calling me? More so, who the chairman is?
"What did the HR tell you? That you were most suited for the job? More so, the best one for it?" There was pride in his voice. I definitely know where this is going.
"Actually, the.. uhm, actually, the chairmain called." I replied in a small voice.
The loud screeching of the tires fill the air, Jungkook stepping on the brakes a little too sudden. I immediately hold the handle on the car and with heavy breaths, I look at him.
"W-what happened?" I ask of him. My brother looks equally stunned as I see his reaction from the mirror.
"The light was red," Jungkook absentmindedly said. I took a look forward and see that we're a bit far away from the line, clearly beating the red light if he drove away further.
His mind has been occupied ever since this morning and it's clear that something's bothering him. To think that whatever's in his mind is affecting him this much even while he's driving is making me worried. I want to know, I want to ask, but he's giving me this feeling that I shouldn't pry. He's locking me out of whatever is happening.
"Are you okay?" It was dumb of me to ask, I knew he wasn't but I just needed to ask anyway.
He looked at me and gave me a forced smile, his eyes look tired and his words, vague. "I will be," he replied.
It wasn't long before we reached the campus. My brother excitedly went his way to report on his duty today but I stayed behind. I wanted to see Jungkook off.
"Where will you go now?" I did see him get ready before we left. I thought he'd be staying over for a couple of days but I guess he isn't.
"I'm going back," He didn't specify where but I assume it's the city, back to his fiancee.
"Are you coming back here to visit again?" My question caught him off guard. It was a quick change of emotions but he regained his composure.
"I'll try," My breath hitched. I look at him with surprise. It's the first time he told me that. Usually, he'd tell me he will and he can but this time, nothing seems certain anymore. I didn't like how this is going.
"Come back, okay?" It wasn't me telling him to visit again, it was me telling him to come back to what we were before. I didn't want to feel like it but I can no longer deny it. He looked at me and nodded before he drove away. I follow his car before it was actually out of sight.
Hearing what I heard this morning only heightened my fears. I knew it was going to be this way, I just didn't know that it'll bother me this much. When he told me he was getting married, I knew he'd be away most of the time but I still knew he was there. However, right now, he's pushing me out of whatever this is. It's as if he's slowly leaving.
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