I have now learned about the R slur and I have also talked to other ppl on Instagram and they educated me as well.
With that being said, I want to apologize. I won't deny it and I will not sit here and pretend like I haven't said that before or even laughed at a few regarding that mental state. I do know that the word is a form of degradation towards people who have a more difficult time processing things than other. It was never my intention to degrade anyone in that way though.
I haven't said that word though since my seventh grade year of middle school and I'm proud of that but it's sad how I have befriended mentally disabled people and even helped a few with their homework or just in general and continued to laugh. knowing that I once basically bullied them without knowing makes me want to cry.
People always say "you call that an apology" when someone apologizes so I'm saying this now this is from the bottom of my heart. Even though I said it so long ago the guilt I feel is so fresh like I said it recently.
I'm literally crying because I feel horrible. In no way should someone be laughed at or bullied for something they can't help and even though I haven't said that word I still continued to practically make fun of them. It's been almost a year though since I've done any of that and I'm glad I stopped. I see soooo many people at school constantly making fun of this one kid who's in the ESE program, which stands for exceptional students education that basically helps a child with maintaining an education with a disability.
He walks around saying the words marathon over and over and the meaning behind that word to him is a gas station that's here in Florida, but he also comes up to us and sticks out his hand asking for food and my ex friends would jump away from him as if he was contagious or something. He would also chase us and we'd run around the library "scared" but I never felt guilty until I actually had people scold me for it.
So this morning about an hour and a half ago I decided that I would try to make admends. I'm doing online school and as a student you can't ask for anyone's address. So instead I called the school and asked if the guy was still going to school or was he online and the good news was he was at school.
I decided to get him candy, books, and a sticker that said marathon on it since that's his favorite gas station. Even though he couldn't really understand what I was saying I apologized to him and his mother and I feel a little better but it'll take time for me to come to terms for what I did.
Once again I truly apologize to anyone who has a family member which any type of disability or anything of that sort. I understand if you guys don't want to read my book anymore and I'm ok with that.
Anyway once again I'm sorry for what I did❤️.