Romantic & Angst ~ School
{ Listen }
♡
Farhana ~ you
"Teachers, at this time, please take your students to the auditorium for our international week rally." The overcome rang through the whole school.
Excited students ran excidedly towards the big room, while the teachers just tried to follow along and see what will happen at the rally.
Some students aren't interested, but hey. A good 45 minutes out of class and watching people dance and sing something that wasn't American isn't all that bad, right?
Or there's also people like me, one of the performers that is scared to be judged by others based on the things we do and like.
But this was my choice, so I'm sure I won't regret it. And besides, Kyungsoo was performing, and I can see him even closer, right?
The auditorium was starting to fill, and I grew more and more nervous. My friend Juyeon was next to me, fixing her outfit for the couple dance of Erase by Hyolyn and JooYoung.
"I feel so nervous..." Juyeon says. "I'm afraid that I'll make a mistake. Kai is like a perfect dancer, and-"
"Juyeon, relax. You're the most perfect dancer I know next to your boyfriend. You two are the school's dancing couple, so you two will not mess up. I'm the one who will, since I'm dancing to more songs and I'm very forgetful."
"You'll do awesome Han. You're as good of a dancer as I am, so you'll rock everything. I'm gonna go to Kai and talk to him. That Krystal is near him again."
I chuckle. "Ok, bye." I said as I watched my friend walk towards her boyfriend. I looked around for him, and I saw him standing there reading his lyrics.
Kyungsoo turns his head and looks back at his paper and walks towards my way. My eyes widen in surprise and I turn around, facing the wall.
I peek at him and then he sees me and shows me a smile. My heart jumps and my cheeks flare, but I wasn't so sure if that smile was directed at me. I looked behind me and see Krystal behind me, and I just had a feeling of dispair. Kyungsoo was probably smiling at her, not me.
"Hey Han. We're on in fifteen minutes!" Mira, our 'dance' teacher or a.k.a my junior korean dance teacher said to me as I nodded. My heart began racing again, and I sat down on the floor as our assembly began.
First, India Club and other people danced to Indian music while they wore their dance clothes. Next, there was a Mexican dance with a mariachi, followed by a silk and ribbon Chinese dance. Next, it was our turn.
I know that Americans normally don't like Kpop in general, but I hope that we can make them watch and listen with interest. Korea Club and I were dancing to Danger by BTS, I Swear by Sistar, and Troublemaker by Troublemaker. Some people were asked to sing, and Kyungsoo was one of them.
This is it Farhana. Those two months of dance practice will pay off soon, just you wait. I stood in line as the gym cheered from our MCs announcing our turn to dance. The dancers and I quickly got into position as the beginning of Danger played through the speakers, which filled the whole gym.
I danced with everything I had, along with Kai and Juyeon, and around 8 other sophmores and freshmen. We finish, and the entire gym echos with claps. We all dispearse off the floor, and I take off my black BTS t-shirt and I reveal my white tank top. The girls and I rush to our line position for I Swear. The music comes on again, and I dance with a girly and sexy feeling, since our other junior dance teacher, Jessica told us to be sexy and feel sexy.
We hear people screaming and hooting as we smile and lipsync to the girly song, and as we finish, we do the same- leave the floor, and come back. I suddenly came face to face with Kyungsoo, who wasn't my partner.
"Wait, why are you here?" I asked him, who was smiling. "I thought you were with Soojin unnie."
"Soojin's real partner is Donghae, not me. And you don't want a friend to be your partner? I think it's better than someone you don't know." Kyungsoo says as I knew he was talking about Donghae, the junior who was my partner. Donghae sunbae was actually standing next to Soojin, and the two were smiling at each other.
The music suddenly turns on, and my conversation with Kyungsoo was put to a stop. After a few of the dance moves, I realized that Kyungsoo was dancing very intimately with me. Instead of the light touches we were supposed to do, he danced and touched me with feelings and sensuality. It was like he was playing with me, but I wasn't so sure. I mean how can I concentrate on the dance when a guy dancing sexily next to you is giving you smiles of a little innocent boy?
We end with a pose that makes Kyungsoo and I face each other. The gym explodes in clapping and cheering, and we're both breathing hard. Kyungsoo's eyes searched mine and I quickly turn away and jog off the floor. Some people were setting up the equipment for the singing part, and Kyungsoo also leaves.
I jog to Juyeon, who was with Kai. They congratulated me and I did the same to them. Kai pecks Juyeon's cheeks in proudness, and she hits his arm lightly.
"You did so well Hana!" Juyeon said as my smile grew larger.
"Thanks. I'm sure that Troublemaker had other people feeling jealous of you and Kai." I said as Juyeon's blush turned a bright red. We sat down on the floor, and soft music began.
Kyungsoo and some of his friends were going to sing to a ballad, and when it was Kyungsoo's turn, I couldn't help but feel my fluttering heart and listen to his smooth voice.
My eyes saw him only, and no one else. I felt like my eyes were glued on him, and that his gaze was my only way out.
I felt eyes looking at me now, and I snap out of my trance.
Kyungsoo looks at me with a serious look, and everyone seemed to be looking at us.
"Say yes!" I heard some people say.
"Say yes Hana!" Juyeon yelled happily.
Wait what's happening? Why are people telling me to say yes? To who? For what?
"Say yes! Say yes!" The crowd starts chanting.
I look all around me, and I open my mouth. The entire gym turns quiet, and I take a deep breath and say...
"No."
-
"What were you thinking Farhana?!" Juyeon said in frustration for the umpteenth time. "Kyungsoo just asked you what you've been dying to hear and-"
"I'm sorry Juyeon for something that I did not pay attention to for the hundredth time. And he said it in the gym, where everyone heard what he said and my answer. I- did NOT hear what he said, and I have a right to say yes or no." I answered.
I felt scared that I answered Kyungsoo's question wrongly by not paying attention to it. I admit that I didn't hear his question, even if he held his microphone.
But as I remembered all the happy faces of Kyungsoo's fan club members, I knew that I've done something wrong.
I walked down the hallway away from Juyeon, and I accidently bumped into someone.
"I'm so sorry!" I said as I looked up to see one of Kyungsoo's trusted friends, Chanyeol.
"You should say that to Kyungsoo instead, not me." He said coldly. Ok, something's wrong.
"But... what did I do wrong?" I asked, aware of the people around us.
"You didn't listen, that's what you did wrong." Chanyeol says harshly as he saunters away.
"Hana!" Juyeon ran towards me. "What just happened?"
"Chanyeol talked to me. Juyeon, I know that I didn't listen to what Kyungsoo had to say, but I just can't take it anymore, I have to go and talk to him myself." I say, taking a step fowards.
"Hana! Wait!" Juyeon calls as I run to a place where Kyungsoo might be.
As my feet pounded against the tile floors, I heard him playing the piano in the music room.
I cautiously opened the door and found his back turned to me. Kyungsoo seemed to be playing a sad melody, and as I watched him, he suddenly smashed his fingers against the piano keys in anger as he yells.
I jump a bit, scared to see him this way. I open the door a bit, and I call his name, which echos in the room.
I see him force a smile and say my name softly.
"Are you ok?" I ask.
"Yeah. I am." He smiles as I sigh.
"Kyungsoo-ah." I called and walked towards him.
"Don't call me that." He says as I felt my heart crumble.
"I-I....I know... that you know... that I didn't hear your request. I wanted to ask you again, but it seems like you want to be alone. I'm sorry Kyungsoo. I really liked your performance today." I gave him a weak smile.
I left the music room, and went to my locker to get my backpack. I opened my locker and see the flowers and hearts decorating it, and I cried. His courage, his smiles, his love... it's wasted on me.
Kyungsoo.... Kyungsoo asked me if I wanted to be his girlfriend. There was a sign in his handwriting that said those exact words.
I.... I should've listened to him, I should've. Now, I've lost a chance to say so.
And that afternoon, I sat there, crying my heart out as I looked at all his hard work and crushed feelings.
-
Weeks came and went, and so did rumors and gossip about me. I've always watched Kyungsoo from afar during these weeks, and he's been ignoring me, just like he should. But sometimes I see him glancing at me with upset expressions, and Chanyeol or Kai would try to cheer him up.
I usually go on my phone and look at our Facebook coversations, which were full of fun and texts that made me smile. I too, kept apologizing to him and he reads my messages and doesn't say a word.
It's been at least three months since the international week performance, and we're having a spring rally tomorrow.
The students fill up the gym once again, and I am sitting on the junior's side; on the very first row of the bleachers. I had this all planned, and I just hope that Kyungsoo will forgive me.
"Hello Cali High~~~~!" Our MC Zarina said cheerfully as the gym cheered.
"How's everyone today during this spring day?!" Our other MC, Eric yelled as the gym screamed at his question.
"Ok, ok, settle down now." Zarina says and pauses. "Today is our spring rally, and we've got some pretty good things to say!"
"First, give it up for the band's performance!" Eric follows and the band starts playing a cheerful, spring tune as everyone listens. Color guard joins them a while later, and we gave them a standing ovatation.
After more talking and announcements from our emcees, they finally said something I wanted them to say.
"Ok so today, we have a very, very special request. We're here today to solve a problem, and the feelings that were broken from this problem. Farhana, would you like to start?" Zarina asked as the entire gym looked at me as Eric came and gave me a microphone.
"Umm hello everyone. I just want to say something that will be... very important to some people, but it will be the most important to one person." I say as I look at Kyungsoo's direction. He seemed to be talking and joking, but then Baekhyun tapped his shoulders and he looked at me.
Kyungsoo's face turned blank as I gulped.
All eyes were on me, and I could feel my heart accelerating so fast that I thought that it might burst. I let out a shaky sigh, and I began to speak again.
"I-I have an apology to say to Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo." Most eyes went on him. "I just want to say that I'm really sorry for how you were feeling three months ago, and that how I didn't listen to your request. But what I want to say is that I want to know your answer now. Will you... g-give me.... another chance? Because I actually really... liked," I whispered the last word, "you too."
The entire gym bursts into murmurs and whispers. Some girls started yelling and screaming, but I just kept looking at Kyungsoo for any reaction.
"That's a pretty special and courageous request Farhana. Now let's see if Kyungsoo would want to answer that. Kyungsoo? What do you say?" Eric asks as everyone anticipates for his answer.
"I feel like this matter is personal, and that I will tell Farhana by myself." Kyungsoo stands up and talks into Zarina's microphone.
Cheers of surprise arise in the gym, and I sit back down on my seat, dumbfounded. He... he was going to talk to me? Personally?
-
The spring rally ended at least an hour ago, and school ended as well. I'm walking home, but on the way, my feet brought me to my favorite ice cream shop.
Every time I felt anxious or nervous, I always went with ice cream to cheer myself up.
I looked at the menu, wondering if I should eat my all time favorite, Apple.
I sigh, making my decision and I finally order.
"That'll be ₩5500 please." The worker says as I search my wallet for six dollars. But I only found 2 measly dollar bills in there.
"I'm sorry but... I don't-" I began to say as another voice called out behind me.
"I'll pay for you." I turned around to find Kyungsoo standing behind me, digging into his wallet.
"But-" I said as he paid.
He grabs my cup of ice cream and says, "Here." as he hands it to me.
Kyungsoo goes to an island where spoons and napkins are located, grabs some, and then takes my hand as he leds me to a table near the window.
"T-Thank you. H-How did you know-" I began.
"Remember, I had a crush on you, so I basically knew everything about you." he says as things become silent and sad in the cheerful atmosphere of the ice cream shop.
"I'm really sorry.. but apologizing when you're not even going to say anything... I just don't get what's going inside your head Kyungsoo. But either way, you're not going to tell me anything.... so here." I say, scooping my ice cream with a spoon and holding it out in front of his heart shaped mouth.
"What?" He asks.
"It's ice cream."
"So?"
"So it's a method to try to get you to talk to me. If you're distracted by eating or doing something, you'll eventually forget the nervous feelings and just let it out. So eat. The ice cream is technically yours since you bought it anyways." I say as he looks at me with wide eyes.
"Do Kyungsoo, the ice cream and I won't kill you, so eat." I commanded him as he engulfs the spoon quickly, making me surprised.
I blink at him, and for some reason, I blush. Kyungsoo gives me a small smile, and I start laughing. Soon enough, we were both talking nonchalantly and laughing together, just like the old times.
But there's this one period of time where he began to talk about us and our relationship.....
"Farhana." Kyungsoo says as I stop chuckling. Kyungsoo looked really serious.
"Yes... Kyungsoo?" I asked.
"I want to talk about what happened three months ago, and today." he suddenly says as we lock gazes. My heart starts thumping like crazy, although my face told him otherwise.
"Oh." I say, nodding.
"I was hurt, but... I found the reason why and I understand why you said no at first. And these three months... I was mad. At myself, at you, but mostly myself. I couldn't forgive myself... until you said it today. I wasn't listening at first, but then I did. That's when I realized that we can't keep on going like this." Kyungsoo says.
"Umm... I-I" I stammer, feeling scared.
"It's ok." He said reasurringly, making me feel more at ease. "Let me explain first. I know you're feeling scared right now." He says, softly placing his warm hand on my cold shaky ones.
"T-Thank you." I said, looking down. "Since when did you become so comforting?" I said, widening my eyes when I was only suppposed to think about that, not say it out loud.
Kyungsoo starts chuckling, and says, "You're still the same. I thought the old you wouldn't come out anymore. I like it though. No, I like you." he says as my eyes meet his. "I like you Farhana." He states as I slowly blush.
"W'What?" I ask as he looks at me with sad eyes. "I- I mean I heard that b-but-" I stuttered as he leaned closer to me.
"Good. Because that's all you need to know." He says, smiling as he leans closer. I lean closer, and we can hear each other's breathing. Kyungsoo's eyes land on my lips, and back to my eyes. He gives me another smile before he encloses the space between us.
I freeze in place as our lips touch, and close my eyes as I let the wonderful feeling run through me.
We stop, and look at each other again.
"Y-you.... I-I-" I stammer from embarassment as I see his pink cheeks as well.
"I- I like you too Kyungsoo." I smile as he does the same.
We entwine our fingers, and I heard some hooting and cheering outside. Juyeon, Kai, Baekhyun, and Chanyeol were all there, smiling and cheering as they all held a giant poster.
The poster read, "I love you Farhana ♡ Be my girlfriend? I hope you'll listen closely this time ( • ♡ • ) Love love love ~ your Kyunggie
Tears arose in my eyes as I nodded. Kyungsoo explodes into happiness as people started clapping and congratulating us.
"Gomawo Kyunggie." I smiled and kissed him back, making him almost cry this time.
And like that, my romance life has started. I couldn't start earlier because I didn't listen, but now, I listened carefully to let him know my answer to be his.
♡
Yay update! Sorry for the two week break, I was really busy and I still am. I got the feels when I wrote this, so I hope you guise like it!
And I'm loving the acoustic version of Love Love Love too. It's so soft and relaxing ^^ And it's the song that Kyungsoo sang during the performance.
Gomawo and annyeong!
@xoxo_annie_exo