Lukkas, Mara, and Sin are huddled in the far corner of the Inner Chamber, inches from the raised dais and the Law 's ten gleaming thrones, each donning their graduation robes.
The twins look ethereal - like royal ghosts, with their hair in perfect ringlets that frame thin, porcelain faces. There's some added color to Mara's cheeks - a little blush perhaps, that matches the pink spread on her lips. Lukkas glances around the room as he shuffles from foot to foot. His polished loafers click against the tile which echoes in the massive space. Sin, however, is as impassive as ever, though when he notices me, he steps away from the dais and heads my way.
"So," Sin says, striding up to me. He nods at my tattered shirt and torn jeans, all signs I'd chosen the road less traveled apparently. "That's not all that surprising."
I tug on my shirt, fingers affixing themselves in the fabric. Of course, my choice would be obvious, given how things went down in this room seven days ago.
I glance up at him - big and intimidating, stuffed into a white robe that seemed three feet of fabric too little. I nod toward the sliver of black sock peeking out between the robe and his shoes. "Didn't have enough fabric to dress you properly?"
He snorts. "Guess they can't be prepared for everything." Though I wouldn't expect him to care about anything, especially his appearance, Sin tugs on the robe as if coercing it to grow a few inches longer.
"So," he says, knitting his eyebrows together. He shifts from one foot to the other, glancing at the floor before looking at me again. "You going to hate those of us graduating?"
I smile and shake my head. It felt good, this time around, not forcing myself to grin. "No." I shrug. "We all have our reasons for what we chose."
Sin nods, a few bangs falling in front of his eyes. "And your reason was--"
"Two-fold," I say before he has the chance to finish his sentence. "David was a reason sure," I say. Without meaning to, my eyes dart to the part of the room where I'd been standing the day David was killed. His blood had been mopped up, the tile bleached. Everything was as pretty as a picture. At least when Della had killed Dieter, she'd left his blood. She'd said it served as a reminder of what being a traitorous bastard got you in the Collective, but it also reminded people that you had existed, and for one reason or another had violently left the world. Turning away from the spot, I continue, "But I also want to give Dove a big 'fuck you,'" broadening my smile, I pump my fist in the air, "and what better way than to do exactly what he doesn't want me to do?"
Sin furrows his brow. "But," he looks side to side. "Expulsion means--"
"--dying." I gulp. Or, it could mean sanctuary. I had to try to make the latter come true. Standing on my tip-toes, I squeeze Sin's shoulder much as it was like trying to squeeze water from a bag of rocks. "Wouldn't be the first time I've faced death."
"This time death isn't just one of many outcomes," he whips around on me which almost knocks me off balance. I stumble, blinking back my surprise. "It's guaranteed."
I swallow and feel the smile slip from my lips. Sin wasn't telling me anything I already didn't know, though I didn't understand why he was adamantly shoving my demise in my face.
"Way to be callous," I say, scratching the back of my neck, a finger grazing the edge of Izzer's chip. "Guess you can be deadly even without a fork."
"I just don't want to lose anyone else," he says, his voice barely audible.
I feel my mouth flop open, much as I wish it hadn't. I want to remain calm, collected, until the very end -- like David had like I'd imagined Keran had -- but in this ultra-rare moment of Sin's sincerity, I just can't.
"Nove, David, now you," he continues, his eyes focusing on the city as a light rail bolt past the window. "It's harder."
Tilting my head, I manage to say, "What's harder?"
When he turns to face me, there's a sad, sunken feeling to his features. "Saying goodbye." He focuses his gaze on me. "I never got the chance before, with the others. And now," he reaches up and rubs his chin. "Goodbye, Ten."
"Sin--"
He turns away and heads back toward the dais, not bothering to acknowledge me further.
Those who stood with the Law would be absorbed into its ranks. Their faces would get plastered on the Network, their smiling images on repeat in every Community Hall across the FUA while I...it'd be like I'd never existed.
Shit.
Sin's right. This is goodbye and none of us had ever gotten the chance to do it before. Was this pressure, this insurmountable weight pushing you down what it felt like to know you'd never see those closest to you again?
Shit, shit, shit.
Behind me, the double doors swing open, and Marava and Jonathan stride into the room. All of us, future Councilors, and I whip around. I'd felt like Sin's words had knocked me on my ass, but Marava and Jonathan's appearance makes me question my sanity. They're both wearing the clothes from the night we'd been captured, Marava's red dress clinging to her thighs and she walks with purpose into the room.
Jonathan must feel my eyes on him, and see my confusion because as they approach, he says, "We talked a lot but--"
Marava gives him a good smack in the shoulder. "How could we side with David's murderers?" I gulp. She narrows her eyes and focuses on the Law's table. "It's fucking absurd if they thought we'd ever graduated." Snorting, she eyes me and lays a hand on my shoulder. Surprisingly, she doesn't dig her deadly digits into my shoulder, which I was seventy-five percent certain would happen. "David was one of us. I'll never forgive that prick for killing him."
There it was. Loyalty from Marava. If a meteor didn't crash into the world and kill us all, nothing made sense anymore. Then again, as much as I discredited Marava for being anything other than a ruthless, evil hag, she'd had her moments - times of unexpected vulnerability, kindness, even awkwardness when we'd waded through the sewer. She was human, wasn't she? All this time and I'd pretended not to notice.
"Thanks, Mars."
Eyes bulging, her hand drops from my shoulder, though her warmth lingers. "You're thanking me?" She runs her fingers through her hair and chews her bottom lip. "Mierda." Shrugging, she adds, "Well if the world doesn't end right now, nothing makes fucking sense."
"That's what I--" Just as I'm about to admit that Marava and I, for one second in time and space had shared the same thought, the doors open again, and the full Council enters the room.
Dove is the last in, and when he eyes me, he shakes his head. There it was. My big 'fuck you' met with the imperceptible shake of his head, but it was enough. He knew I'd rather die than be a Councilor or his daughter, his Allison.
O'Mallory barrels past the other Councilors I know to be Ira and Inez, and throws her arms around the twins. "You look wonderful."
Dove clears his throat. "Of course they do. They've chosen to transcend, to live lives in servitude of the mighty FUA. There is nothing that makes you more beautiful than your desire to serve." Dove turns to us, the unwanted three, the failures of the group, his gaze hardening at the sight of us. "And you are certain?"
I shake my head. Marava shakes hers, but it takes an elbow in the ribs to get Jonathan to nod his.
"I see," Dove raises his eyebrow. "What a waste." Rallying the other members of the Law to his side with a flick of his wrist, Dove gives me one last stare. It's hard and cold and penetrating, however, I don't shirk away, like I probably would have a few days ago, but Dove had given me no reason to be afraid of him. After all, the worst he could do to me, he'd already done. "You, who have chosen expulsion," the barren marble walls act like perfect soundboards, turning up the volume of Dove's words to near deafening. "You will head to our on-site medical facility, where your illegal chips will be removed immediately and then," he gulps, and his adam's apple brushes the top of his tie knot while his nose wrinkles with obvious disdain. "You will be removed."
He takes a step forward and loops an arm around Lukkas. Then Mara. There he was - the man I hated more than anything in my life, standing between the two people I would have died to protect. Though I could see them clearly, at that moment, I felt as though I was looking through frosted glass, peering in on a private scene I didn't have the right to witness.
A line had been drawn in the proverbial sand and I'd never again cross it and see the other side. My hand slips inside my pocket as that worsening, tightening feeling continues to ripple through my gut, and my fingers graze the dot Lukkas had gifted me.
Dove turns, taking Lukkas and Mara with him. They fumble to maintain their balance but, against all odds, they manage to cling to upright positions, causing Councilor O'Mallory to nod her head in hastily given approval.
"Masters," Dove calls, his beckon reverberating through the room. I freeze. Masters? He couldn't mean that prick from the Community Hall, could he?
Lo and behold, my long-time-no-see captor from the Hall setup emerges from the far corner of the room, slinking out from the darkness like a hairless mole. When he reaches the middle of the room, he turns about, giving Dove a three-finger salute. What a good little soldier boy. I wish I'd done more than spit on his shoes. Maybe I should have lobbed one in his face. At least then I could have delighted in watching my spit trek down his chin.
"Yes sir!"
Dove shots him a curt glance, nothing more. No acknowledgment of their previous meeting wherein Dove has torn him a new asshole. Maybe I'd reminded him of that if I was gifted the chance. Or maybe-- I clear my throat, gathering saliva at the back of my mouth, just in case.
"Take these failures to Medbay for Dr. Jeffers to administer their procedures."
"Yes sir."
Masters turns and heads toward us, gun strapped to his back. He doesn't bother to reach for it as he approaches though I do catch his shoulders tensing as he strolls up beside me.
"You seem to have fallen back in the good graces of your master," I say, swallowing the wad of spit I'd collected.
Masters scowls before grabbing my elbow and yanking me forward. "I've been given my orders to ride along on your little exodus." His thin lips, that look more like bloated worms glued to his face than actual flesh, widen. "If I have my way, you won't get to see beyond the dome."
I gulp. Jonathan and Marava eye us and then each other. Masters nods toward the doors. "Hurry up. The ceremony's off-limits to failures."
My heartbeat quickens in time with each leaden footstep I take toward the doors. Masters would kill me. Dove wouldn't stop him. Daughter or no, as someone who turned a blind eye to the truth and their nation, my being alive wasn't a priority anymore.
I shove my free hand into my pocket, wishing I had something that I could jam into Master's smirking face - the sharp end of the Dove futures pin, a pen, or hell, I'd take a page out of Sin's book, and relish wrapping my fingers around a fork right now. As if summoned by the chaos swirling around in my head, my fingers touch upon something hard, cylindrical. The bottle of pills David had given me to keep me awake. They weren't anything I could use to kill Masters, but they just might be able to help.
As we exit through the doors, Masters' nails slicing into my flesh, I decided to take one last glance at the people I'd come to love. Sin - stoic as ever, stands at the top of the dais, accompanied by Councilor Abyashi, a squat man with square shoulders and pitch-black hair. He gives off the same stoic vibe, which makes sense considering how most of the lieutenants were genetic clones of their Law predecessors.
Mara's nervous. She squirms as though a sack of worms had replaced her insides and had engaged in an endless wriggling war. Lukkas is calmer, though its all manufactured, judging by the sharp crease cutting between his eyebrows that I'd only see him give birth to when he was in the deepest concentration. He'd never looked that way during the test, but I'd caught a glimpse of that look when I accidentally walked in on him taking a shit. His hands wrapped around Mara's. I'm glad they're standing there, a united front. I hoped, at the very least, that was something that would never change.
Before the doors can close behind us, Dove catches my attention. In reality, it's no more than a second, but in that time frame, when we lock eyes, shared blue staring into each other, I can see he's sad. Betrayed even. Whatever understated 'fuck you' I'd been hoping to give him seems to have hit its mark.
I give him a slight nod, acknowledging this moment, our moment, and that it has come to its inevitable end. The gap closes between the doors, and a word slips between my lips. I don't know why - no one but that prick master, Mars, and Jonathan will hear me, but I say it anyway.
"Praise Dove." Two words whispered. Barely audible, something to get lost among the din of nervous chatter, shuffling feet, and agitated fingers plucking at the sleeves of silk Councilor robes, but I speak them because they feel the most appropriate to speak.
They'd been said at the beginning of every new day once I'd been removed from my home and forced into the Facility. I was beaten when I didn't say them with adequate vigor, thrown in the Reflection Room for every fifth time I'd spat them with all the vitriol I could muster. Now I'd said them for the last time, those empty, meaningless words and it's fitting. Ending this shit storm of life with the words that set it all in motion from the very beginning.
The doors to the Law's Inner Chamber close without preamble and I've led away, my hand tightening around the pills in my pocket. I would need them, considering what came next.