Lingering, lumbering moments of staggering lonesomeness were turning tumultuous, a helter-skelter situational hiccup that was left behind by something nettlesome, nestling underneath an emotion intermittently reflecting upon his languish for the bewitching, belittling indignation, defaming him of his calibre, coaxing him to belabour; love.
Love, Emmett was insanely interested in ignoring this phenomenon which, according to him, was but, a mesmerising misery interceded as something heavenly. Surely, he knew what it could do if reciprocated but the boy, was never so fortunate. Yet again, he was traumatised by his inherent disposition and incapably, hoped for him to come. But what would he say to him? Could he possibly set himself up for the repudiation of his selfishly immersed and intriguing fancy notions, set apart by the apparent love that he held for him or would he forever hold his silence? Guileful, the working of an ingenious mind was famed to be adept in the comprehensive approach of some chemical senses, resourceful to the extent of stimulating a sensible solution but Emmett couldn't think straight, as he was overwhelmed by these resurfacing emotions that had him undeniably knackered.
"Daydreaming now, are we?" His sweet, symphonic voice was enough to reel him in.
"Sorry...I didn't realise-" Emmett stuttered out.
"That I have been stalking you since the past five minutes?" He interrupted him, giving him a sly glance.
"Well, yes. I apologise for doing that to you, I didn't mean it." Emmett offered him a hesitant smile.
"I know you didn't but do you want to know something, grey eyes?" He quipped.
"Yes?"
"I am slowly going insane."
"I don't understand." Emmett blinked at his statement.
"You wouldn't ever understand, darlin'. Feelings, they are a deliberate, delectable source of our inner desires. We are insatiable, but if you'd want to pinpoint that blame on something, then hurl it all on 'em. Because they make us who we are, too and I guess, what I have been trying to tell you mirrors my sentiments. In an arcade of arbitrary and irrational words, I want to say that I do feel for you strongly, and it seems to be possessing my thoughts lately, like amnesia, I do not know what to do, or what to think except you, and only you, grey eyes, is that not strange?" He confessed, with hands clasped together as he gauged Emmett's face for a possible reaction to his words.
Breathlessly winded, Emmett was left thunderstruck by his implied confession. He was breathless, ambiguously gaping at him, with inquisitive eyes, as if he was desperate to find something of a loophole in this, for he could be playing charades with him, and he couldn't present himself to be so gullible in front of him, Emmett thought to himself, blatantly refusing to believe his ears. Without offering him a chance to speak, he bolted towards his safe-shed, adamant on leaving the boy of his dreams behind since he couldn't fathom the thought of being loved, let alone by him.
"Grey eyes! Please, do not leave me. I did not mean to hurt your feelings, just stop. Stop!" He was quick to catch onto Emmett's cowardice, as he confronted him, this time with a much-determined stance.
"Let me go," Emmett mumbled out.
"Absolutely not! I did not expect you to do this, darlin'. I thought that you'd be-" He started but was instantly interrupted by Emmett.
"That I would be ecstatic, elated to hear your confession? I can't do this. I urge you to leave me alone, I am quite exhausted." Emmett exaggerated whilst moving away from him.
"Give me a reason then." The boy demanded, eyes fuelled by a rage that was not unknown to him.
"What?" Emmett questioned.
"Give me a reason, tell me a lie, that contradicts to what you feel for me and I swear to you, I'd leave you alone." He spoke confidently, eyeing Emmett's nervousness.
"I don't feel anything for you." Emmett easily lied, ignoring the ache in his heart at his words.
"Not good enough." He was consistent.
"I look at you and I see my world-shattering into these despicable shards of audaciousness that reflect my only desires, otherwise deemed unworthy by the universe. This is what I truly feel for you." Emmett lashed out, shaking with agony as he had never known.
"Is that what you really feel for me, darlin'?" He softly asked, eyes brimming with tears.
"Yes and don't call me that, my name's-" Emmett started.
"I don't care what your name is, just answer me." The stranger vehemently interrupted, fiercely questioning him again.
"Yes, yes I do, I do feel for you. I have been in love with you since the first thunderstorm that we had, unintentionally shared together. I have been in love with you ever since the day I had heard you sing, I have been in love with you for so long, do you realise that? It is so selfish of me, so irrevocably selfish of me to love you." Emmett professed, eyes ablaze with emotions he couldn't contain.
"Do you regret loving me then, is that so? Am I-" He questioned again, eyes matching with his fury.
"Yes, I do, I regret loving you because it has changed me. You have changed me, replaced the Emmett that I was so accustomed to being, with your wit and charm and your golden persona but I still miss being that Emmett, he was inwardly broken, but you, helped him mend the pieces of his broken heart, you anchored him and for that, I regret loving you." Emmett summarised, choking back a sob at the realisation.
"You are so absurd, grey eyes." Was all he could say.
"Yes, I am but this too is the side effect of the love that I have channelled for you."
"Then why are you so intent on ignoring this, huh? Do I mean nothing to you?"
"That is an underestimation surely, you wouldn't think the same if the roles had been reversed."
"What do you mean?" He inquired, confusedly.
"I wasn't going to confess my feelings because, rejection isn't something that I like, even if I have become somewhat habitual to it, it doesn't mean that I'd test the waters so impulsively. It was easy for you to say given your confidence level, but I can never exhibit this boldness, it is not a quality trait that I can have, unfortunately, and it all seems a bit unfair, because I had it bottled inside for so long but you couldn't keep it in, could you?" Emmett explained.
"That is a bit harsh, don't you think? You cannot just underestimate my feelings." He added.
"That is not my intention, it is just the way it is and I am to be blamed for my mental dilemma, it is not of your concern," Emmett stated stoically, as he tried to mask his feelings again.
"I see what this is. You are pushing me away." He concluded, giving him a disappointed look.
"I don't push people away." Was all Emmett could say, seemingly aware of the truth.
"You do, and I don't blame you, but you have to let me in, darlin'. I only care about you, can't you see that?" He consoled, giving him a sad smile.
"I can but-"
"Somethin' else is bothering ya?"
"Yes. It's honestly nothing but it is quite irksome."
"Come on, get on with it, we have the whole night to ourselves."
"I don't want to burden you with my problems." Emmett sighed, finally giving into his pestering efforts.
"That is very thoughtful of you but you can never be a burden, grey eyes. Never!" He emphasised on the last word, whilst looking at him pointedly.
"I have made some reckless decisions, but this one was purely coincidental. I have hurt her, I never wanted to hurt her, but my actions have become the cause of my misfortune, and I do not know what I'd do without her because she is irreplaceable, and our friendship is now incorrigible, just like this dying sunflower, who was once a slave to the amber-blue sky, is now but a broken beacon of hope, it can never be revived because of what I have done and I can never forgive myself for that." Emmett confessed, eyes shining with unshed tears at the thought of Gwen and her words.
"That is where you are wrong, this flower that you see, is still alive, just look at its plush petioles, grey eyes, do you believe it to be impossible? What it needs is but a bit of water and trust mingled with some colourful seeds of care, and it will, undoubtedly, be restored to its health, do you understand? Nothing is broken beyond repair, darlin' surely, you'd know that." The boy reprimanded.
"But she will not listen to reason, she's very obstinate, and this time, I could sense the finality in her words, as if she was done with me for good." Emmett shrugged pathetically.
"She is hurt, and only you can soothe her pain by concocting a remedy with your words and actions. Give it a try, because if you truly feel for her, you would fight for her." He advised.
"I suppose I owe you an apology for my previous actions, I wasn't thinking straight." Emmett looked at him apologetically.
"I understand, but if you are willing to make up for it then I suggest you to listen to this song that I have been working upon." He motioned his head towards his guitar.
"That doesn't sound like a punishment." Emmett smiled at his actions.
"Eh, it is if you are stuck with me." He chuckled.
"Then, I don't mind because being stuck with you feels ethereal." Emmett blushed under his intense gaze.
"Good to know that, darlin'. I can call you that, yes?" The boy asked softly.
"Definitely." Emmett offered him a small smile.
"Aye, come on then, grey eyes. Lighten up!" He added, excitedly before picking up his guitar and softly plucking the chords, like he had spent quite some time in perfecting them.
"Starless skies, starring you and I,
We get so hung up on this isle of ire,
Winding whirls of our love tonight,
We play pretend, in the lighthouse of our dreams,
We play pretend in the white house of our starry seams."
The soft-spoken stranger looked genially gallant like an elegant yarn, formulated to fantasise and feign love as if he was but a writer's construction, his very existence was composed with an heirloom, a legacy for some, a gift imposed by the fine fibres of fallacy, a fictionalised sum, and Emmett, at that moment, wished to be forever entrapped within these confinements that had almost made him; his soul. He wistfully wished to be his, for as long as he lived, and that was all he needed to prosper, he thought as he intently listened to his mage-like voice.
"Starless skies, starring you and I,
I make a kite for you to fly,
Icarus' wings heavenly plight,
I take care of you with all my might,
When you see the winding whirls of our love tonight,
Play pretend, in the lighthouse of our dreams,
Play pretend in the whitehouse of our starry seams."
He gave him a subtle hint, a wink as he proceeded to sing the bridge of the song, from what Emmett could guess. He made him feel alive, as cliche as it seemed, it was what he desperately needed, and like some fairy, he had fulfilled his desires and for that, he would stay in his debt, forever.
"To have you so close to me,
In this world of make-believe,
Is but a wish for a shooting star into the sea,
Into the sea,
Starless skies, starring you and I,
We get so hung up on this isle of ire."
↯↯↯↯↯↯↯↯↯↯↯↯↯↯↯↯