The next few days Hogwarts embellished itself with Halloween decorations, everyone embracing the spooky atmosphere which filled the castle and of course, bared witness to a grovelling Sirius. Bexley's bruises had begun to fade, but her frustration towards Sirius remained a little longer, she just couldn't seem to understand why he was frustrated, or why she should be grovelling either.
"Chocolate frog?" He spoke bashfully as Bexley lifted her gaze from her potions essay.
"Cheers mate." James sprung to his feet and snatched it from his hands, Lily rolled her eyes and grinned, turning back to confer with Bexley.
"How are things with James?" Bexley whispered.
"Oh you know, still annoying, but I can't help but loving him." Lily watched as James crammed the chocolate frog into his mouth, she cast a quick spell, cleaning the melted chocolate from his fingers. "How about you?"
"Walking on egg shells Lil, I have this nagging feeling we're going to explode into a screaming match at some point."
"Well that's one way to relieve some anger." Lily agreed.
"I can think of other ways." Bexley's lips curled.
"Shove off. Attention on this missy." Lily gestured to their parchment. Bexley twirled her quill in her fingers whilst watching Sirius consorting with Remus. "Don't you think something has been off between those two recently?"
"Don't get me started on that. James won't tell me anything, he just says things are tense because of Remus's transformation nearing, but I'm with you."
"I heard my name?" Remus slipped into a chair beside Lily.
"Godric I forgot you can hear like supersonic or something." Bexley rubbed her forehead, a stinging sensation growing in her temples.
"Headache?" Lily went to rub Bexley's shoulder and she flinched out the way. "Oh, not that type of headache." Lily spoke knowingly.
"It feels like it did when I touched Peter's arm. It's such a weird sensation."
"Maybe its urging you to see something?" Remus thought out loud.
"Remus you might be right. Maybe it's trying to protect you? Maybe you should touch someone." Lily rubbed her chin thoughtfully. They both stared at her, somewhat hoping she would agree, wanting to test their theory and genuinely intruiguied, Bexley reached for Lily's hand.
As Bexley closed her eyes, this time she felt she was more in control of what she was seeing and how she was seeing it. She was able to go into the past and see Lily in her lessons, oh god James was atrociously flirting with her and then OH MERLIN! Bexley snatched her hand away from Lily's and stood up abruptly.
"No! NEVER AGAIN, OH GOD HELP ME." Bexley paced the common room.
"What! What did you see!" Lily rushed to her side, words seemed to fail Bexley and she gestured between Lily and James. "OH SHIT! No, no, no, you didn't!"
"What, what happened!" James leaped over the sofa and cradled Lily as she covered her face in mortification, Remus laughing lightly in his chair, Peter peered over the sofa at the commotion.
"Bexley saw us, you know..." Lily turned a bright red and James matched her.
"Did I look good?" He laughed these words and Bexley's eyes went wide.
"Chill Prongs, I keep my woman satisfied." Sirius wrapped an arm around Bexley and she forgot about her grudge. "What were you trying to do?" Sirius looked down at Bexley who was still humiliated.
"We wanted to see if I could control the visions. And well, I went too far back." Bexley grimaced, shrugging Sirius's arm from her, everyone's smiles disappeared as they saw the act.
"Uh, well, I'm going to the toilet! Lily come help." James grabbed Lily's hand and directed her in the opposite direction of the toilets, Remus oodly shifted to the sofa.
"What?" Bexley spoke nonchalantly as Sirius glared at her.
"We need to talk." Bexley relucantly nodded her head as Sirius held open the portrait door for her. This wasn't like them, making odd small talk about how their classes were, the times they would run down the corridor together laughing and grinning seemed months ago in Bexley's mind as they neared the safe haven of the Room of Requirements it took every for her not to turn on her heels and run from it.
"Still the same." Sirius smiled sadly as he stared at the sofa they spent countless evenings cuddled on, and the floor in which he taught Bexley wizard's chess and for the first time, he prayed, he prayed this would not be their end. He turned back to face Bexley who was watching him tentatively, he gestured to the sofa and they both took a seat, Bexley began to twidle with her rings.
"So, the Halloween deocrations look lovely." She spoke quietly.
"Jesus christ I love you. You know that right? Bexley I love you more than I even like myself."
"I know." Her voice wobbled.
"Sometimes I don't think you do. Why didn't you tell me you were going to meet Vincent?" His teeth grinded as he spoke his name.
"I knew you didn't like him and I didn't want to upset you-"
"Well look where your grand plan led us to." A lump rose in his throat as he watched her eyes shift to the fireplace.
"I thought it was best. I didn't know he would do that."
"I told you I didn't like him, we all did. Why can't you just listen to us for once? Why do you have to be so goddamn stubborn?" Bexley's eyes darted straight to him.
"Stubborn?"
"Yes! You know I had a bad feeling about him."
"I have a bad feeling about you being friends with your ex and you don't see me having a hissy fit." Bexley's heart thrummed as she felt a shift in Sirius.
"Oh so we're being childish now are we? Well if I'd known that I would have thrown a bigger tantrum!" He sighed and rubbed his brow as he leaned back in the chair.
"We aren't having this conversation right now." Bexley began to move from the sofa, but Sirius grabbed her wrist.
"Bexley pretending isn't going to make this go away. We agreed no more secrets, no more lies." His fingers felt cold around her.
"You want to play that card? What's going on between you and Remus?" She snatched her hand back.
"That is completely unrelated to this conversation!" Bexley rose from the sofa, fury contorting her face.
"How can you sit there and say no more secrets when there is something going on between the two of you!" She pointed at him accusingly and ran her fingers through her hair.
"Tell me why you lied to me about Vincent and then I'll think about it."
"For Merlin's sake Sirius! I am not going round in this circle with you! I thought he was my friend!" She walked towards the bed and rested her head on the post, wishing they could just curl under the blankets and hide from the violence of reality.
"That's not an excuse. You love him don't you? That must be it, how many other secret meetings did you have with him." Sirius spoke almost hysterically, striding towards Bexley her fury melted into despair.
"How did you come to that conclusion." She tried to lower her voice, perhaps there was still a chance to salvage them.
"Come on, tell me. How many times did you fuck him whilst telling me you loved me?" Sirius's voice dripped in malice, Bexley rose her hand to slap him but Sirius was quick and caught her wrist. "Was that what I walked in on? Some rough fucking fetish of yours?"
"No, Sirius... It's only ever been you." She lowered her head and her eyes welled.
"Hey, how would I know if you're telling the truth. Not like you haven't lied before." He backed away from her and leant against the wall near the door. Silence filled the gap between them, Bexley padded over to him and cupped his cheeks.
"Sirius I love you, please I should've told you." Sirius tried to move his head from her grip, but she cupped his face tighter "I should have, you're right. Please." She placed a wet kiss on his cheek as she muttered countless please's under her breath.
"You're not who I thought you were." His eyes reached hers, dripping salty tears. Bexley's hands dropped to her side, stepping back she stared at him.
"Maybe they were all right, all you would do was hurt me."
"If you really believed in happy endings you're naive."
"I'm naive, you're ignorant. We're not perfect." Bexley's tone soured as she looked the boy she loved up and down.
"THEN LEAVE." Bexley stepped back in fear of his voice, it reverberated around the whole room and rippled through her body, she choked back her tears.
"No, because I stick around Sirius. I FIGHT FOR WHO I LOVE." Her body trembled as she screamed at him.
"YOU EVIDENTLY DON'T LOVE ME." Like she had sustained a physical injury, Bexley clutched at her stomach. Pain had never felt more real, more excruciating, she'd rather the Crutiatus curse than this. Sirius's eyes remained indifferent as he placed his hands on the door of the Room of the Requirements.
"I adore you Sirius Black, I cherish you with every fibre of my being, I love you with all I have." Words were her only hope now, please, she prayed to any higher being listening, please, but no answer. Sirius's mouth remained in a tight line and did so until he slipped out the room, as the door shifted away he ran, ran as fast as he could until he reached the heart of the Forbidden Forest where he collapsed and pounded his fists on the ground until bloody.
The fire in the Room of Requirements crackled softly as Bexley's screams filled the room, wailing left her body and hollowed her out. The room was filled with him, with them. As she sunk on to the floor she was filled with mourning and hollowed with grief.
"Come back."was all she managed to say as she pressed her cheek to the cool stone, in hopes he could hear her, feel her sorrow. Bexley had read novels and cried when the lovers were no more, but they didn't prepare her to feel like this, words could never, would never encapsulate the feeling of being ripped open. Morning came, and Bexley remained concealed in the Room of Requirements. Evening arrived slowly and as she looked around the room, she was certain she could hear echos of their laughter, taunting her. Her mind filled with memories of their love, they felt so real, so vivid that when she opened her eyes, Bexley could see them curled into one another in bed, simply smiling. Fresh tears replaced the old ones and the door creaked open, a warm body embraced her on the floor.
"I promise I love him." Bexley shivered.
"I know. Everything is going to be okay." Lily soothed her back and Bexley's eyes fluttered closed as sleep mocked her further, Sirius consuming her dreams.
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Hi guys🥺 I'm sorry to make it sad, but I also hope this made you sad because it means I've done my job correctly :( I hope you're all looking after yourselves, please do!! This week it's become clearer to me that we need to treat ourselves once in a while and that mental health is just as important if not more so than physical injuries so please love yourself.❤️
M🧸