IV.
MY EYES TRIED TO FLUTTER open against the bright light invading my room through the gaps in my wooden blinds, a long groan vibrated up my throat when I rolled over feeling someone next to me replacing the groan with a half-strangled scream. I sat up pulling the duvet close to my chest as Ryan turned his head to look at me with a grin placed on his face without a thought I placed my feet on the side of his body I pushed him onto the floor, his hands grabbing out to catch himself when he grabbed onto the duvet, a hallow noise bounced inside his chest when his back hit the floor. I grabbed my shirt quickly and pulled it on over my head, glad for once I fell asleep in my bra.
I grabbed one of the pillows to whip it at his face when he sat up, really not in the mood for him and his antics first thing when I wake up.
These were the many reasons to why I would dislike Ryan, "how did you get in my house?" I asked with annoyance as I got off the bed to go to the en-suite bathroom, trying my hardest to not slap that smug look from off his face when I walked past it, the palm of my hand pushing against his forehead making him fall back. I closed the door behind me debating on having a shower or not.
"Your mum let me in, shouldn't you be at school anyway?" he called through the door, I decided to skip having a shower considering I had one last night and basically because I couldn't be bothered instead I settled on just brushing my teeth.
I'm surprised to even hear that my mother was here in the morning since she wasn't home by the time I went to bed last night unless it was a quick in-and-out job. I spat the toothpaste out into the sink, washing the tooth brush off to go for the second brushing when I seen the bathroom door open in the mirror and Ryan leaning up against the door frame. I let out a small grunt in response to his intrusion, beginning to wonder if he has ever heard of personal boundaries.
"I have the day off, but I can go in to do the research or whatever at school or I can do it at home. Either way, I'll have to go to school to do the project with, DeCeno. Also, have you ever heard of knocking, I could have been naked." Sounding annoyed when I finished up brushing my teeth spitting the foam out as I swilled it down the sink before looking back at him.
"I didn't hear the shower switch on, so I assumed." He shrugged to himself before clearing his throat to get my attention while I was too busy looking at my skin for pores that only I can see and no one else can along with every other flaw that I could stand here and point out.
I let out a sigh and walked out the bathroom to pull on a pair of jeans, "how was your date with, Catherine?" I questioned and tied my hair into a half-arsed bun.
"It went superb, might be having one this weekend too." He grinned, handing me my glasses, a thank you falling from my mouth when I looked at the time on my phone.
"Will I be seeing you later?" I enquired as I pushed my phone into my pocket. I saw him give a small shrug followed by an uninterested 'mhm'.
"I'm working in half an hour, I won't get off until around nine. I can come around then if you want." He propositioned me while we made our way down the stairs. I regretted sleeping in kind of grateful Ryan came around and scared me half to death else I would be late meeting up with Amanda.
"Come 'round tonight. Now, I have to go else I'll be late," I said walking out the door to my car his feet following behind, throwing a quick wave goodbye into the air when he passed me and carried on walking towards his car.
"See you tonight then. Have fun, learning or creating. Or whatever it is that you're doing." He smiled and got into his car.
I waved him goodbye as he drove away before I climbed into my own car to turn over the engine, I turned up the radio as I pulled out of the driveway and head towards school. The car ride was somewhat peaceful with music playing in the background before I pulled into the school's entrance, a single yawn escaping from my mouth. I parked up my car not really wanting today to happen, sending a quick text message to Amanda to inform her that I'm here before getting out the car to wait for her.
Yes, Amanda and I text every now on then, more so to ask questions about the project and when we have arrived at our place of meet up, we don't ask how one another is or what we have been up to. It is strictly business. No going out for coffees, or having 'mate dates'. Just do our school work, then leave. The two of us keeping it to the bare minimum.
The way that I was greeted wasn't exactly what I had in mind for the morning, the taste of salt and something else that was metallic flooded along my taste buds before being shoved roughly, my feet tripped up over themselves when I fell to the cold concrete ground. Laughter falling short, a burning sensation started to run along my palms. I tried to focus on the group of three girls standing directly in front of me already knowing who it was going to be. I made a silent promise to never pick her up again after today.
"Chrissie, just leave it." I heard Amanda's voice call from behind them as all three turned their heads, feeling confused to who it was on the end if it wasn't Amanda with them.
"Excuse me, since when have you started caring?" I heard Chrissie answer back in a snarky tone, the four figures blurring together the closer they grouped, my hands feeling blindly along the flood for my glasses while they were distracted .
"She hasn't done anything." I heard Amanda defend me, one of three turned back around to look down at me.
"You sure you want to be doing this? After we spoke about your certain situations at home, with your mother and everything. I could drop you just as quickly as I picked you up." Chrissie spoke, her voice cold and callus. The hint of a threat buried beneath the patronising tone.
"Your glasses are here." Tiffany's voice spoke, a crunching sound following straight after with a fit of laughter while they started to walk away. My teeth sinking into my bottom lip causing more blood to enter my mouth as I spat it out.
"Amanda, you choose. Her, or us." Chrissie called in our direction when I realised that DeCeno was still standing before me.
"Are you okay?" her voice bleak and quiet while she walked closer to where I stayed slumped on the ground making no attempt at moving when she offered me her hand to help me back up to my feet.
"What do you think, DeCeno? As soon as I stepped out of my car, I was punched and pushed, my glasses broken. Don't even worry about it, just go, leave me alone." My voice shaking as I slapped her hand away, I heaved myself up from off the ground, pushing past Amanda to get back to my car.
Fuck the rest of the day and this school. Fuck her and her friends.
"Rebecca, I-"
"Save it, DeCeno. Your little group is waiting." I snapped, cutting her off before she could even form a sentence. My anger building up inside the longer she stayed near me, just wanting her to leave me alone.
In fact, I wish I didn't have to work with her. I'll do my own project, I don't need this, I don't need her. At this point I'd happily fail the assignment if it meant I had nothing to do with the lot of them. I just wanted my life to go back to how it was a few weeks ago before I was grouped up with her.
With gritted teeth and no further words, I heard her feet walk away as I let out a slow shaky sigh. I took my phone out to call Ryan, the back of my hand wiping away the blood that started to trickle down my chin. I was grateful he picked up after the first two rings before I lost it and started to cry.
"I need a lift home," I said in a rushed voice as I climbed into the car.
"Why, what's wrong?" he asked after shutting what I presumed to be a door since he was at work.
"F-, Tiffany crushed my glasses with her foot. I can't drive without them, I need a lift home. I'm sorry, I know you're at work but you were the only person I could call." My voice breaking towards the end.
"Give me twenty-minutes," clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth when I hung up and locked my car doors from the inside.
I switched the engine on so I could turn on the heat, my hands starting to sting as the adrenaline started to wear off, my hands beginning to shake. I tried to look at the grazes from a result in catching my fall after they had pushed me down to the floor. I focused on the bright red marks on my right palm where the top layer was scraped away, leaving it feeling tender with tiny pin-pricks of blood that had started to seep through the graze.
I closed my eyes and rested my head back on the chair and let out a big sigh, the feelings of annoyance washing away with the exhale feeling it begin to lift and fade away leaving me with the feeling of nothingness. The next time I opened up my eyes I saw Ryan's car pull into the school's parking lot, glad that I could finally get away from this hell hole for the day. Even though I wish it was forever. I have one year left then I can wave goodbye to the place with my middle fingers raised up high.
I pulled the keys out the ignition while I clambered on out the car slamming the door shut and making sure to lock it as I walked over to Ryan's car. I climbed into the passenger seat not speaking a word to him as I shut the door, his eyes on my face waiting for me to speak but nothing came out. With a small hum he turned away to start driving me home.
The drive was silent, besides the music playing in the background and the steady breathing that escaped my lips. I looked at Ryan, his jaw tensed as he kept his eyes on the winding roads leading back to my home. My tongue started to click against the roof of my mouth, it wasn't long until he pulled up outside the house grateful that my mum wasn't in. Then again, she's never home.
That was the last thing I needed was a mother asking questions because she was just being nosy more than she was a concerned mother. I've been in that situation more than once with her and honestly, I'd rather be dragged through the wringer over and over than deal with her bullshit.
Don't get me wrong, she puts a roof over my head and sometimes makes sure there is food in the house but that's about as far as her love and affection extends.
The pair of us climbed out the car to make our way to my front door the keys already in hand as I unlocked it and stepped inside before I turned to face Ryan. Neither one of us said anything when I wrapped my arms briefly around him feeling him return the hug before a grunt slipping through my lips and I pulled away, I made my way up the stairwell and into my bedroom to throw myself onto the leather sofa next to my far wall. I watched him close the door quietly before taking a seat next to me, a criticising look placed upon his face when he turned to look at me before kissing my cheek gently and pulling me into his side with a soft sigh.
"Bec, you need to report this. You can't keep dealing with this every time you go to school. No more of this. I hate hearing how they treat you." His voice sounding earnest as he took my left hand in both of his. Frown lines on his forehead while he looked at me with a solemn expression on his face, not knowing what I can do.
The teachers don't really care, may as well just tell me I'm an adult and should take things into my own hands. If I was to retaliate, I'd be the one to cop it not them. As a teacher has already preached to me 'this isn't middle school.' Getting tired of hearing the same crap that comes from them.
"I won't say a single word ever again." The thought began to dawn upon me about my glasses an exasperated groan coming from me. "Guess I'm going to be living in contacts because there is no way I'm going to ask my mother to lend me some money for a new pair. Yay, time to save." I cheered halfhearted with my hands doing a little wave.
The thought of me crawling to my mum for money had my stomach churn, that will just be another thing that she could hang above my head other than the fact she gave birth to me. An excuse that she can use against me for the rest of my life...Figuratively and literally.
"I know a way to get back at her." Knowing that would catch my attention when I snapped my head his way a little too eagerly.
"How?"
"She is throwing a party tonight, turn up, bitch slap her in front of everyone. And I mean everyone, then leave." He explained with a smile looking back at me when my face fell slightly at the idea of another party.
I wasn't about the whole social life like he is, my body requires sleep and plenty of it to be able to function.
"What is it with them and throwing parties in the middle of the week. Have they never heard of the weekend." I said in a sarcastic manner. "However, I do like your plan and let me guess I'm driving?" I asked, his smile growing bigger that I was thinking about it, knowing he was probably in hopes of seeing the new Barbie-bitch, I do wonder how she is fitting in with them, not having the heart to tell Ryan she's with them.
"Yes, but you're driving my car." If it wasn't obvious enough with my car parked at school.
Knowing my luck, come tomorrow when I collect it I wouldn't be surprised to see that it's been keyed or have a window missing, not wanting karma to be tempted I'm ready to cash out my luck and good deeds in return for my car being fine and untouched.
"You don't say." I said sarcastically as I stood up from off the sofa with a stretch to hear my shoulder pop into place, "what time is this party?"
"I'm guessing the usual time." The answer to my question made me roll my eyes, looks like I won't be getting an early night tonight.
I mean fuck sleep, who needs it.
By the time I was ready to gate crash this party – still wondering how the hell Ryan always knew about them and always got invited to them – it was half-eight in the evening. I looked out the door of my en-suite bathroom to watch Ryan check out my books in the bookcase, I raised my eyebrow up at him knowing he hasn't picked up a book since he was a kid before going back to applying makeup. I tried to cover up the now evident bruising and cut, much to my surprise the bruise not showing through. I smiled contently at my work and gave myself a pat on the back. I walked out the bathroom turning off the light while closing the door, Ryan turning around to give me an approving nod with a raised eyebrow as he checked me out.
Without any further ado, we left the house to go to the party with his keys in hand while we climbed into his black car. I slid the keys into the ignition and buckled myself up as I pulled away from my driveway. I listened tentatively to his directions, the drive there only taking ten-minutes or so when I realised how close it was to where I lived. That thought is now going to stay with me.
I parked up his car a few houses down from hers, any normal person would be shocked at the size but I thought it was relatively the same size of mine. Perhaps a little smaller. Then again her father is the Priest of the town and probably got his house paid for him through tax-payers money or from donations the he and his church have probably conned out of people.
I handed Ryan his keys after locking up the car with the two of us making our way down the pavement to the house where the music was faintly coming from. I took a deep breath grabbing Ryan's hand tightly as I tried to mentally prepare myself, a small smile on his lips when I dragged him into the house full of people, I let go of his hand when I decided to take in my surrounds and at least find where Chrissie is. I knew I would't go through with it but the thought counts an who knows, I might surprise myself.
The parties that have been thrown have never personally been at her house, either a friend was holding it for her or some poor person who will be left with the clean up after she goes home to bed.
After an hour I gave up trying to find her on the ground floor, however, I did spot Tiffany dancing with Amanda in a seductive manner causing me to frown slightly while I made my way up the vast staircase to find the bathroom. I opened up numerous doors, two of which contained people on or in the bed. Some people really didn't care where they were, willing to whip it out and put out for a few minutes to then walk away like nothing happened. The fifth door I opened I was greeted by a very drunken Chrissie to what I assumed was in the bathroom either being sick or using the toilet.
Before I could speak or move aside for her to leave she took hold of my button up shirt pulling me into the bathroom and shutting the door with her foot. I felt her lips crush roughly against mine, her breath had the taste and stench of whiskey and coke making my stomach feel uneasy. At least it wasn't the taste of vomit I guess.
When my mind started to comprehend what was going on I pushed her from off me and gave her a dirty look, she pushed against my chest and ran a hand through her hair as she stumbled out of the bathroom, a smile worked its way upon her face before she left. My lower lip started throb when I could taste blood, I flicked my tongue along the cut she caused earlier this morning feeling a small sting with my hand instinctively touching the small wound. I looked up from the blood on my hand noticing Amanda standing before me with a confused look painted across her face as she looked down the hallway towards where Chrissie went the back at me.
By the look on her face I wasn't sure if she witnessed the whole kiss or walked in when we just finished. Not wanting her to get the wrong idea about me and start spreading any rumours that I was gay or whatever.
"Rebecca?" she questioned trying to figure out who I was, my shoulder knocking against hers as I walked down the long hallway to the stairs.
If there was a time or place to leave a party, it would be now. I grabbed hold of Ryan's arm when I found him, dragging him out the front door with me without an explanation for my actions.
"You can stay but I'm going to go home. I don't feel too good and I have school and work tomorrow." I told him, using any excuse that came into my head when we were away from the house a worried look on his face at my sudden change in heart.
"Erm, sure. How are you getting home?" he asked looking at me with a concerned expression.
"I'll get a taxi, you enjoy yourself," I spoke turning away from him while I pulled my phone from out of my pocket so he would stop worrying.
I pretended to talk to someone down the receiver as I walked away until Ryan started to walk back into the house hearing a chorus of cheers. I heard the sound of pitter-patters from behind me when Amanda came jogging around the corner. I kept my head forward, not having the strength to be dealing with this right now when all I wanted to do was to get home and go to bed.
My days now running like so; Eat. Sleep. Repeat.
"Rebecca?!" I heard her call from behind me, my eyes closing tightly shut before opening back up while I chose to ignore her shout.
I decided to walk home knowing it could be risky but I needed the time to clear my thoughts, however, I did worry about how Ryan was going to get home, just hoping he wasn't stupid enough to drive. I shrugged off the thoughts of him drink driving, knowing that I should have kept his car keys as a precaution although I knew he wasn't that stupid and hoped that he would be smart and get a taxi.
After walking for thirty-minutes I was glad to get out of the cold night time air and into a cosy warm house and back into my pyjamas to snuggled down and get my beauty sleep after I got changed and took out the contact lenses. It wouldn't be the first time that I have fallen asleep with them in, clearly now finally starting to learn my lesson.