the thoughts have been eluding me
like meeting me would mean the end of days.
she's begging me to take a breath, staple
my eyelids shut. being restful was never an option.
personify the other half of me,
separate the good from the bad from the boring and uninteresting.
every part of this rings like womanhood,
smells like defeat and half-baked altruism.
i can hear it calling out to me, the only thing
over static radio waves and voices that make my stomach lurch.
an uneasy ship on the tip of your tongue, onto mine;
no big deal, i say. no other options, i say. now, i think.
are you allowed to rebel against yourself?
allowed the crack the codes on your own; the knocking on your chest,
the reminder that you can't be alone. a revel in itself,
rebel to everyone else.
familiarity splays out on the sheets,
uninvited. the irony sits at the desk, grins at you
with lips that mouth her name. only.
⋆ ⋆ ⋆
a/n: dedicated to my girl, els, for reminding me that im supposed to be writing bc i am, indeed, a writer lmao [ vangohs ]