Katherine and I sat at the kitchen table while Becca slept peacefully on my bed. Her tan baseball cap rested in the center, along with three cups of Miss Gold's magic tea, one each for the two of us, and one for Becca when she woke up.
"Why are you still taking this better than I am?" I asked, but it wasn't a question. We'd been rehashing our emotions while we reviewed our options, which were few, and in the end, we decided to wait for Becca before making any plans. I hadn't actually kissed her, and I hoped that would make a difference, but I didn't really believe it. Miss Gold had said potency was what mattered, not quantity, and had said nothing about the manner of delivery.
Katherine shrugged, "I worked myself up while you were on your way back. I had a whole rant planned, but when you walked in the door carrying her, I couldn't go through with it. By the time we got her settled there didn't seem to be any point." She sighed and put her hand over one of mine. "I'm hurting, but it's not like you think. There's just a dull ache where all the screaming should go."
"You shouldn't hold it in," I said. I wanted her rage. I deserved it for not being more careful, for taking away the exclusiveness that had made everything bearable. It might have been a curse, but it had been ours.
She rolled her eyes, "Psych major, remember? I know it's not healthy to bottle it up, but you're not hearing me. There's nothing to process. It's not dull because I've buried it, it's dull because it feels old, like I've already done the hard work and all that's left is adapting to the change." I shook my head. Not even benzo would have been able to mask what Katherine should be feeling. Unless Miss Gold had something up her sleeve that we didn't know about, Katherine was trapped for life in a relationship that she didn't have sole rights to.
"Yes, part of me wants to cut loose," she continued, "but I can't say I'd rather be bitching about it right now. I thought I was mad at you, but I'm not, just a little sad. I can't promise about her though," she pointed to the bedroom door. She'd been taking unfair shots at Becca, but I couldn't believe she meant them. She'd changed Becca's clothes without prompting, replacing the stiff uniform with one of my shirts and her own pajama bottoms, and had been nothing but tender when she helped me get her settled.
"None of this is her fault," I said, but I understood Katherine's dilemma. I felt robbed of the catharsis her anger might have given me the way she felt robbed of her grief, and Becca was caught between my girlfriend's ire and my own punitive desire to be the target of someone's rage. Those emotions are complex, and they suck, and I wouldn't wish them on my enemies.
"I know it's not rational, and it won't be for a while." Katherine said, annoyed. "What about you? We've been talking about me and her, but you've got to be pissed too."
"Who am I going to get mad at, Kath?
"Your godmother?"
"What does she have to do with it? She told me to be careful. I should have locked myself down, stayed at home."
Katherine fumed. "She also said you had to get that trunk, and you were bound to run into other people. You need help but she's off doing her own thing. Are you supposed to just sit around until she can be bothered to check in?" I wanted to point out that other than a bit of homework, she'd been doing practically nothing for days. I wisely kept my mouth shut. I wanted her mad at me, but not that mad.
After the conversation wound down to sighs and frowns, Katherine got up to check on Becca, then for want of something to pass the time we sat together on the sofa and turned on Bay City Bae. I should clarify that Katherine turned it on, and I was an innocent bystander. It fulfilled its role as a mindless distraction, however, pushing aside feelings I didn't want to deal with. I also wanted some form of punishment that would provide absolution from real-life drama, and enduring the show's writing and terrible acting came close.
Blaise hooked up with Shawn without breaking things off with Marco and I tried to explain to her that it was a bad idea while Katherine shushed me unhelpfully. Melissa and Brittney threw down verbally in a shopping mall, after which Brittney hooked up with Marco. A new character, Lavonda, a sensual black girl stacked like a porn star, was introduced late in the episode and she put the moves on Melissa, then later, on Shawn. The episode ended with an emotional monologue from Melissa that was so obtuse she never actually got around to making a point, which might have been intended as a cliff hanger, but that would have been giving the writers too much credit.
"It's going to get tough," I said seriously as the credits rolled.
Katherine leaned into me and sighed, "I know."
"When Marco finds out about Shawn and Blaise, he's going to kick his ass," I nodded sagely, gesturing at the screen. Katherine giggled and hit me.
"Idiot," she said and laced her fingers in mine. I stroked a strand of hair away from her face.
"Listen," I said to reassure myself as much as her, "as long as I've got you with me, I know we can make it work."
"I know, and I trust you," she said, and I believed her. Katherine was smart and strong, and having her in my life challenged me to be strong too. I hardly knew Becca, but she seemed like the kind of person who'd do her best to help once she understood the situation. If she could understand it. I dreaded having to explain it all again.
Katherine sat up suddenly, "Hey, can I borrow your phone?"
"What's wrong with yours?"
She glanced toward the bedroom. "I, uh... let the battery die," she said in a subdued voice, and I expected it had more to do with avoiding Becca asleep on my bed than any technical issue. I pulled mine out of my pocket and passed it to her. She tapped in my password and after fiddling with it for a minute or two, she passed it back.
"What was that for?" I asked, tucking it away.
"Just checking with Rachel. You still have to take care of her tonight."
I swore under my breath. I'd almost forgotten that Rachel would need a dose before she fell asleep or she'd wake up sick, her suspicions intact and fully confirmed. I had to get Willy back too, so with Katherine's help I wrestled the trunk out of the Jeep, up the stairs, and far enough into the living room that it wasn't in the way. She had to usher me back to the door with a promise that she would handle Becca while I was gone, and even pinky-swore that she'd be nice if the girl woke up.
I had a foot on the stair when she opened the door and called after me. "Hey, since you're going anyway, can you grab a few more things for me?" She listed a few specific pieces of clothing, a makeup kit, and a basket full of vanity items. I saw the errand as a small act of attrition against my mounting guilt and promised to try.
Rachel wasn't as bad as I feared, but far enough along that I was glad I hadn't waited longer. I returned her keys with a thank you and stayed a few minutes until the lights around her brightened. Once she was smiling and chatty, I made an excuse and rose to leave, then an idea struck that seemed, in the moment, like a flash of brilliance. I invited her to the apartment for breakfast, thinking I could dose her without having to come up with a stupid reason for showing up at her door. She said yes before I realized Becca would be difficult to explain.
I closed the door behind me after a long good-bye and climbed the stairs to Katherine's room. This time I knocked before entering, knocked a second time to be sure, and waited a minute more before swiping Katherine's key card. As if mocking my caution, Penny sat at her desk and spun her chair lazily around to greet me as soon as I opened the door, removing her earbuds with a sly smile. I could hear Rihanna belting out lyrics from across the room.
She crossed her legs in a fluid, exaggerated movement, deliberately mimicking Sharon Stone's famous movie scene. "Hey, tiger," she winked, "miss me already?"
If she hadn't noticed me enter I might have retreated, begging off Katherine's request for another day, but her candid stare dared me to enter and I decided to get it over with. At least she was dressed.
"Hey Penny, Kath asked me to pick up a few more things for her," I said quickly, striding across the room, then added, "I'm in a hurry."
"Shame," she said, eying me strangely, "so Kate's moving in for good?"
"I didn't say that."
Her seductive mask slipped. "I'm not stupid, Tom," she said, "She's been living with you for a few days and now you're collecting all her things. She's not coming back, is she?"
"I don't know. It's complicated."
She sat expressionless for a second before the fire in her eyes rekindled. "Is she pregnant?"
"Penny," I whined. I had no idea how else to reply and that brought back her smile.
"So that's a no. Did you propose?"
I continued gathering Katherine's clothes without answering, laying them atop a pink and gold basket where she kept an assortment of plastic bottles and instruments she used to alternately straighten and curl her hair.
"Not getting married either," Penny continued. "You didn't murder her, did you?"
"Of course not!" I said as I grabbed Katherine's makeup bag and dropped it on top of her clothes.
"Aren't you a puzzle?" Penny said. I hadn't heard her move, but her voice came from right behind me and I spun to confront her.
"Penny, this isn't a good time. It's been a hard week, and today is getting worse by the minute."
"Because of me?" she asked, phantasmal glitter sparkling around her like a halo.
"To be honest, yeah, a little."
"Which part, getting worse or getting hard?"
"Penny, I'm serious. I need to go." I reflexively stepped back, and her grin widened. I should have known better. You had to treat Penny like you would a bear. If you ran from her, you were prey.
"I'm not stopping you." She stood between me and the door, her dare firmly on the table. She wasn't driven by meanness. If things were normal it would have been merely annoying. She was looking for a parley, a twisted version of the rapport I had with Katherine, and if I gave her what she wanted, all her teasing would remain relatively harmless. She wouldn't be satisfied unless I acted, however, and until then, she'd keep escalating and I wasn't convinced she had limits. Worse, the lights were coalescing, magnifying her already extreme sexuality. How the hell had they responded so fast?
Crippling indecision took over once again and she moved dangerously close until I was forced back against Katherine's bed. I lost my balance and sat down hard on the mattress.
"If I didn't know better, tiger, I'd think you've been stopping by on purpose."
"I didn't, I—" My head went foggy like it did when I was on benzo, except this time the haze was peppered with shining Christmas lights, pulsing and growing brighter.
"Were you hoping you'd catch me changing again?" she purred. "Do you want to see what you missed?"
Penny unbuttoned her cropped shirt from the top, then let it fall from her shoulders and drop to the floor. She had nothing under it but skin.
"You don't understand," I protested. "I can't—no, Penny, stop!"
She bent over me in a sultry crawl, forcing me to lie back or risk touching the exposed flesh that surrounded me like a cage. "Is that why Kate's never with you? Are you secretly hoping to spend a little quality time with me?" Her lights closed in as her face came near, and the playfulness in her eyes became a hunger. "Mmm, lucky Penny."
She lowered herself until I could feel her erect nipples through the fabric of my shirt, and I pressed my arms into the mattress in a wasted effort to avoid her. "Penny, stop—" I begged in a hoarse whisper, but it came out weak and feeble. Our lips were only inches apart and the corners of her mouth angled upward in triumph.
Another set of fairy lights began to swarm around my head, followed by a sweet, floral scent I recognized at once. Something of the confusion I felt must have echoed in my expression, because Penny stopped and her smile faltered. In that moment, I grabbed her by the waist and pushed her off me, choosing the lesser evil.
"Leave me alone!" I growled.
Spots of light became a single, brilliant flash and power flooded through me from somewhere in the back of my mind. Penny scrambled backward, but couldn't get her feet beneath her and ended up in a sprawl across the floor as a shockwave of pleasure overcame her. She squeezed her eyes shut and arched her back as if pressing herself into it, and I could see the muscles in her abdomen spasming.
It ended with an explosive sigh and she lay shivering and panting on the floor with her eyes closed until she remembered I was in the room with her.
"I'm sorry," she said breathlessly, scrambling to her feet. She grabbed her shirt and held it in front of her. "I—I didn't mean anything." She turned her back to me and punched her arms into her sleeves, pulling the top tight around her, then sat down, hunched over her desk. I wasted a few seconds trying to register what had happened, then scooped up Katherine's basket and fled.
The walk back helped calm me. It began with a sprint, but once I reached the residential streets I slowed and took my time, letting the cool, evening air settle my nerves so I could think. I couldn't come up with a reason why, in that moment, the power decided to manifest. It might have been emotional stress, but when it worked on Rachel, we'd already passed that point. It wasn't random, but it didn't just sit there waiting for me to summon it.
I needed to understand what had happened, but I was also holding those thoughts up like a shield, avoiding the thing that bothered me more. While Penny had me pinned down, part of me wanted her to succeed, and the idea that I could be so easily manipulated by my own primal urges terrified me.
Back in the apartment, after sharing the story of my latest encounter with her former roommate, I couldn't decide whether Katherine's giggling made it better or worse.
"It was really close," I complained, "why are you laughing?"
She bit her lip and tried not to smile, "It's not that. It's the picture in my head. I'm sorry, it's a little funny."
"You're a little sadistic," I said. She went up on her tip toes and she kissed me.
"Don't be that way. It was good in a way. You used that power on her, right?"
"How is that good?"
"Well, now you can reset Rachel."
I shook my head. "No I can't. I didn't do it on purpose. I don't even know what happened." The news didn't penetrate Katherine's optimism.
"But we know that kind of control wasn't just a one-time thing, you probably just need to learn more. At least you don't have to worry about Penny anymore."
"She's going to come down eventually and I'll have to keep drugging two people," I said, but Katherine shook her head.
"Penny isn't like Rachel, Thomas, she won't get anyone else involved. When she's had some time to think she'll probably be thrilled to have the room to herself. Let her detox on her own and forget it."
That didn't bring me much peace, "Well, it doesn't matter now because I'm staying put. No more going out until Miss Gold gets back and I can talk this through with her." Katherine looked away, a hint of blush rising in her cheeks.
"You have to go out again. We still need to keep Rachel from going to the authorities."
"I might have bought us a little time," I said. "I invited her over for breakfast tomorrow."
"What?"
"I know what you're going to say, but it seemed like a good idea at the time. We can come up with a story to explain our guest."
"If Becky's willing to play along."
"Becca," I corrected, and Katherine was about to argue when we were both interrupted by a quiet voice from my bedroom doorway.
"Hello?"
Becca stepped into the living room, her hair disheveled, eyes squinting. She was a lot cuter without her uniform, even in a shirt that was twice too big and pants that ended mid-calf.
"Hello, Satan," Katherine mumbled quietly to me, and I gave her a strong nudge.
"Hi, uh..." I began, taking a cautious step forward. "I—guess you want to know where you are."
"I'm actually wondering where my glasses are. Is that you, Tom?"
"Yeah."
"We aren't at work."
"No, we're not." I looked back at Katherine who's face had gone stiff, her usually full lips forming a straight line. "Where did you put her glasses?"
After a second of hesitation, she silently stepped into the kitchen and came back holding Becca's cap upside down, the glasses lying inside. I handed them to Becca, who slipped them on and pushed them up the bridge of her nose, blinking away the remains of her nap.
"Is this your girlfriend?" Becca asked after she'd scanned the room with her overlarge lenses.
"Yeah, this is Katherine."
"Charmed." Katherine said, her arms crossed, but Becca didn't seem to notice the animosity.
"Wow, you're really pretty," she said, then turned to me, head cocked to one side. "This is where you live?" I replied with a nod. "These aren't my clothes. I don't remember coming here. Why am I here? I feel like I should be scared, but I'm not. Is it weird that I'm not scared?"
Katherine snorted and jerked her thumb at me. "His fault."
"Mine?"
"I should be mad and I'm not, she should be scared and she's not. Can you think of anything else the two of us have in common?" The shame I felt must have reached my face because Katherine relented a little and answered Becca directly. "It's a long, strange story," she sighed, "and you're not going to believe it. You weren't kidnapped, in case you were wondering."
"No, I didn't think that," she answered, her expression unchanging. "Tom's too nice. It's still weird though."
"Weird doesn't begin to cover it," I told her.
For an hour we sat around the kitchen table and tried to explain life as we now knew it. Becca listened almost too attentively, drinking the cup of reheated tea, raising no questions, absorbing the news in silence. When she did respond, she surprised us both with a fairly succinct recap.
"So, your dad was a fairy and he killed your mother by having sex with her, but you were born before she died and now you have his powers."
"Um," I said, "I suppose that about covers it."
"And magic is a real thing?"
"Sort of," I replied. I felt any answer to that question would have to be pretty conditional. She sat hunched over in her chair, her expression doubtful, while I exchanged concerned stares with Katherine.
"Is this a trick? Or some kind of joke?" She addressed Katherine, either blind to her negativity or because of it.
"Not a joke, no."
"You're totally serious?"
"I know it's hard to believe," I said.
Becca turned inward again, but only for a minute. Her eyes widened and a broad grin lit up her face. "That's so cool!"
"What?" Katherine and I exclaimed in unison.
"Fairies and magic are real!" Becca cried, leaped to her feet, and began pacing energetically. "And you're a fairy, or a half fairy, and this," She picked up the hagstone we'd shown her from where it sat on the table, "This is real too! I have a purple aura with little paisleys! What else is there?"
"It's not paisley, those are—eddies," Katherine said, managing to sound amazed and annoyed at the same time.
"Well I like it," she looked through the stone again. "Everything is so lovely! And Tom is so kind, and you're beautiful, like a princess in a storybook—" She suddenly returned the hagstone to the table and stepped back, folding her hands in front of her and looking at her feet. "I'm sorry, I talk too much when I'm nervous."
"It's understandable," I told her. "I learned about it days ago and I still can't process it all."
"This is because I drank your pop by mistake?" I nodded. "Are you sure? Are you really, really sure I need to be here? I can't go home?"
Her last question came out as a plea which fit my expectations better than her enthusiasm. No apology could justify what had turned her life inside out, so I didn't try. "Yes, Becca. As far as we know, you need to stay. At least for now."
Becca looked at Katherine again, who gave her a curt nod, then back at me, eyes wide.
"Cool" she said, trembling in excitement.
Becca told us she was a freshman at BAU, taking online classes toward an Associate's Degree in Liberal Arts because she couldn't decide what to major in. As an online student, the first year housing rule didn't apply to her, and she sub-let a bedroom in a town house not far from the storage facility, but other than the woman she paid rent to, who she rarely saw, she lived alone.
"I don't have a lease agreement or anything, so if I can really stay here," she hesitated, waiting for me to nod, "I just need to call her and pick up a few things. I should get my clothes and my computer. Oh, and the desk is mine—"
"We don't have that kind of room," Katherine said bluntly and I chastised her with a look.
"I still have the locker at the storage unit," I interrupted, "If you need a place to put your things we'll work something out."
"Oh," Becca said, concerned for the first time since she woke up. "Can I still work there?"
"I don't know," I said, "Maybe after a while, but we aren't sure how long you can go without—" I paused, but Becca finished the sentence gracefully.
"Without help. Okay. I'll have to call Sam. Did you get my phone?" I shook my head. "It's probably still under the counter. Maybe Sam will let me cut back to part time. That isn't going to pay much though." She shot a cautious glance at Katherine, then looked back at me, her expression pained, "I didn't make a lot working there, but it's all I had. If I can't work I won't be able to give you any rent."
"Becca, this isn't on you, you don't need to pay me to keep you alive. It's my fault you lost your room and your job—"
"No." she interrupted simply, turning the hagstone in her fingers.
"No, what?" Katherine said.
"It's not his fault, or yours," she answered and dropped her eyes. "Tom was kind to me when he had no reason to be. I don't believe he's making fun or getting revenge for his car or whatever. I can tell you're upset and I'm sorry about that. You both just wish you could make everything right." She paused, tracing her finger absently in little circles on the table. "But sometimes you can't. Tom is sad and you're angry. Why would I blame either of you for something neither of you wanted when you both feel worse than I do?"
Becca's words hit me hard and Katherine stared, mouth partly open, the wheels of her mind turning. While we sat, silent and contemplative, Becca's head popped up. "What was that?" she asked expectantly, as if we were presenting her with another surprise. Before I could answer, the lights flickered and went out and a chill breeze swept through my apartment.
"What is it?" Katherine whispered. I reached for her hand.
A heavy thud sounded from the hall, then something struck my door hard, rattling it against it's hinges. Katherine screamed. Many things went through my mind in an instant, but foremost was a desire to protect the two girls. I stepped in front of them and lifted my chair over my head, intending to bludgeon the first thing that came through the door.
With a loud crack, the deadbolt was pushed through the doorframe in a shower of splinters, and the body of a young boy flew through the opening and landed on the floor at my feet, apparently dead. Then a shadow appeared, framed in flickering yellow light from the hallway beyond.
"Thomas!" a familiar voice reverberated, louder and harsher than I'd ever heard it, "What have you done?!"