Nic kisses me goodnight in front of my dorm before returning to the Bunker to sleep. It's tempting to find out how much better making out would be in a real bed, but considering how many times Harriet found Alison and Tupac screwing in her room, she might kill me if she found me doing the same thing with Nic.
Instead, I watch Nic from the lobby of my dorm until he's out of sight, and then take the elevator up to my floor, reliving my first kiss the entire way up. The leftover thrill from our encounter is instantly snuffed out when I see Justus camped out by my door, drawing on his red sneakers with a permanent black marker. He immediately jumps up when he sees me.
A little guilt, like I betrayed him, tries to creep in at the edges of my consciousness, but I stomp it out.
"Why are you here, Justus?" I ask, unlocking my door so we can talk in private.
Couldn't Kat help him with whatever drama he has going on now?
I stomp that ungenerous thought out of my head too.
"I gave those Throwback journalists, Nellie and Ida, my story. Elizabeth pinged me that it's gone live, but I'm scared to watch it," he admits.
"If you messed up, Elizabeth would have hunted you down and frozen your heart with an icy glare by now. We'd be planning your memorial."
Justus grins. "Maybe. But my family, my friends, and everyone in the Bunker is going to see this, and I'm scared they'll be offended. Again. It's such a pathetic, selfish worry, when Crew is out there slaughtering people and the Evolved National Guard is rounding up Throwbacks to retire. But there it is."
"Addie told me not to forget to live my life every now and then. Sometimes, you're allowed to be a teenager with regular fears without judging yourself."
"I knew you'd understand," Justus says, sitting next to me on my bed.
I open my tablet, and Justus takes me to Nellie's vlog. Justus's interview is given a prime spot in a pinned post at the top of her page. It's also about ten minutes longer than her other posts.
Nellie speaks first. "Today, I'm sharing a story outside of our usual content. I've decided to give Justus Macson, Evolved by blood, raised by Throwbacks, the chance to share his unvarnished story with this audience. I believe he is a true advocate for the Throwback community. His blood may be Evolved, but his heart is cloned."
"She must really like you," I whisper to Justus.
He's gripping the edge of the bed, white-knuckled, but at my words, his hands relax.
Nellie launches into her questions for Justus, and she gives him enough time to explain himself when he gets nervous. She artfully extracts the truth about Justus's upbringing, and his discovery that his DNA is Evolved.
"In a future episode, Ida will be expanding on this longstanding tactic by the government to implant Evolved children in Throwback homes. When they are success stories proving the "superiority" of Evolved DNA, the accounts of their childhoods are made very public. Those who do not rise above their peers are quietly sent to other countries," Nellie interjects.
"Those sneaky bastards! You can bet Strand is in on that plan, too," I say.
Justus hushes me as the focus returns to his story. Nellie gives him a chance to discuss the threats posed by Crew and how to take him down, and his pleas for moderate Evolved and Throwbacks to join forces. Justus's words are simple, eloquent.
When the vlog ends, Justus falls back on my bed.
"You've found your voice," I say.
"At least the truth is out there," Justus says. "Now, I can get some real work done."
One part of the interview stayed with me, but I pause and consider my words for once, examining his sneakers, which he's covered with equations that Flo was teaching us in the clinic. "You said that your dream was to become a doctor, but you won't attend medical school until Throwbacks can. I hope you didn't decide that because you knew being a doctor was my dream too."
"That's only part of it. Because of my notoriety, I'm in a position to make a real difference, and I'm finally figuring out how to do that. I can be a voice for Throwbacks in forums where only Evolved are heard. Being a doctor, like I dreamed about as a kid, would be selfish."
"I think that's a mistake," I say, so low it's almost a whisper. "You should have your dream, Justus. You deserve it. Go to an Evolved school, save lives. Don't let this mess take over your life."
"Like it took over yours?" he asks.
"I don't have the choice to go to medical school. You do. You've paid your dues your entire life. But you rose above your anger and pushed yourself to be the best version of you. Now, enjoy the perks of being Evolved. It's what I'd do in your place."
Justus's eyes are warm when they meet mine. "No, you wouldn't. But thank you for trying to convince me you would. It's not a sacrifice to give up my little dream for a bigger dream, the dream of my people. And best of all, it means that I'll be by your side."
I can't breathe.
"I'm really tired, Justus."
"You are?"
My throat is clogged with words I can't say, so I stay silent.
The bed creaks as Justus stands up. "Sorry for keeping you up, Joan. Good night."
The door closes softly behind him, and for the last time, I allow myself to wallow in my teenage drama, yearning for a wish that can never be granted.
~ ~ ~
"Are you sure this dress isn't overkill?" Marie asks, wobbling in the high heels Lady Cleo is making her wear to her meeting at Strand.
She is getting ready for her encounter with Al, which is set for this afternoon. It's too soon for my liking, but Sun insists that delaying the return of Strand's data will jeopardize any chance of escaping direct confrontation with an organization with far deeper pockets than ours.
"Oh, it'll kill, all right," Nic teases, his mood still buoyant after our date the night before. "Poor Al. One look at you, and his mind will be a blank screen for you to code whatever you want on."
Marie groans.
"Your look is subtle," Harriet says, giving Nic a dirty look. "Nothing you wear is going to convince him to lie for you. That's up to you."
"But you're prepared," Sun adds. "The talking points we have given you will not fail."
Sweat beads Marie's forehead, and Justus notices her distress.
"Do you know why I'm sure that you can do this, Marie? Because all you have to do is fall back on being yourself. I've seen Al with you, and he likes the person you are. He cares what happens to you. And if anything goes wrong, I'll be with you, and we have a foolproof plan to get out of there safely."
"I should go, too," I say, for the hundredth time, even though everyone has stopped listening to me.
"You are coming with me," Elizabeth reminds me with a glare. "It's time to stop screwing around with Strand and remember our primary goal. Taking Crew down."
"We want out of there," Sacajawea adds, and Elizabeth shoots her a hard look.
I'm taken aback by the vulnerability in Sacajawea's voice. "Is it getting too dangerous for you? Is it time to get you out?"
"Justus's dad has a safe house ready for you. Say the word, and you're done there," Harriet says.
"Yes, and his safe houses are very secure, other than when they're being burned to the ground," Sacajawea mutters.
"We talked about this," Elizabeth says, her teeth clenched. "I am so close to being brought into Crew's inner circle and finding out what he's been obsessed with for the past month. He hasn't organized a riot or lynching in weeks, and the momentum in the Throwback community is dying without him and his team fanning the flames. Whatever this new project of his is, it must be big. And violent. If you leave, Sacs, Crew will never trust me."
Sacajawea hangs her head, and it's hard not to intervene and insist that they get away from Crew now. But Elizabeth is determined, and she's also right. If Crew is planning another big attack, like the one on the Evolved police station, we have to stop it.
Elizabeth, Sacajawea, Harriet, and I all leave the Lab and get in our team van. Harriet drives us to a dingy park that Elizabeth has chosen as the setting for a vid we're creating for Crew's benefit.
"I think you organized this just to get in a few good hits," I tease Elizabeth, to lighten the mood.
But she and Sacajawea are silent, as if they are past the point where they can be distracted from their fear.
Harriet waits in the van while Elizabeth points out a camera installed on the roof of a bank across the street.
"Crew's team can hack that feed," she explains. "When I give Crew your files, he's going to check up on my story. So let's give him a good show."
After roughly laying out the blocking for our vid, we're ready to go.
I jog into view of the bank's camera and stop to check something on my phone, exactly as we rehearsed.
Elizabeth and Sacajawea are entering the frame behind me. Sacajawea hits me in my skull with a stick she picked up off the ground. She uses more force than necessary, in my opinion, and my stumble is genuine.
"What the hell?" I shout.
Before I can touch my head to see if there's blood, Sacajawea grabs my arms and pins them behind me. She presses a laser to my neck. Sweat breaks out all over my body, as if I'm being threatened for real. Like with Nic on the roof, I wonder for a moment whether Elizabeth and Sacajawea are going to betray me.
But Elizabeth sticks to our script. "Log in to your phone and tablet, and hand them over."
I try to head-butt Sacajawea and squirm from her grip, but she presses the laser deeper into my neck.
"Right. I do that, and then you kill me. I know how your rebellion operates."
"You don't understand that we're working for the greater good. You never did," Elizabeth hisses. "I won't kill you, because that wouldn't serve the movement. And Crew can't decide whether or not to keep you alive."
"Wouldn't want to upset Daddy," I taunt.
Elizabeth backhands me across the face, and I taste blood. I was right. She's enjoying this.
"Keep going, Your Highness. Don't stop on my account."
Elizabeth backhands me again. This was not in our rehearsal. Neither is the knee to my gut that follows.
"Fine. You can have it. I know you're after the files we found on Strand's network. They're yours, not that you'll ever be able to unencrypt them."
Sacajawea releases my right arm, and I log into the phone and tablet that we purchased and loaded with corrupt data to give to Crew and his team. Elizabeth stuffs the loot in her bag as Sacajawea shoves me to the dirt. She kicks me in the head and chest, and I fake a knockout so this vid can be over.
Sacajawea and Elizabeth leave, and after a few minutes, I get myself up off the ground. I don't have to exaggerate my injuries much, because my head is killing me and I twisted my ankle when Sacajawea shoved me to the ground.
Back in the van, Harriet looks at my darkening bruises with a wry smile. "Glad to see you putting all that acting training to good use."
"If those two were just acting, then they'll be billionaires someday," I say, swishing the blood out of my mouth with a sip of water.
A hand pounds down on the hood of our van, and Harriet's smirk vanishes. Officer Boer stares at us through the windshield.
"Run him over," I say, entirely serious.
"Think, don't react," Harriet replies. "We play this smart, stay under the radar, like always."
Officer Boer comes around to her window and taps on it with his gun. Harriet steps out of the car.
Officer Boer looks her over, sneering. "I don't usually remember the trash that I've had to take out in the past, but, in your case, it was such a pleasure, I may never forget you."
I'm out of the car and beside Harriet as fast as my twisted ankle can get me there, ready to step in if he touches her again. Ben, the red-haired officer I saved during Crew's raid on the police station, steps out of a police car.
"We're taking these two in," Officer Boer calls to Ben. "And we'll have some fun with them on the way so they toe the line."
"What's their infraction?" Ben asks, his eyes moving from Harriet to me.
He gives me a small nod, and I know he recognizes me as his savior from the night of the massacre at the police station.
Officer Boer snorts. "Loitering? Insulting a police officer? Take your pick."
"No, Iker," Ben says.
Officer Boer's face goes red. Ben means well, but the result of pissing off that psycho is Harriet getting socked in the gut. She hunches over, choking.
I'm ready to yank my laser out of my pocket when Ben wrestles Officer Boer to the ground. Their struggle is brutal, but brief.
"I've been waiting for you to give me a reason to have you investigated by internal affairs. Assaulting an innocent bystander is grounds for suspension," Ben huffs, wiping away blood from his nose where Office Boer hit him.
"You ignorant shit. You think they care if I hit a Throwback? It's you who will be suspended. I'll make sure you're off the force, and when you are, you're a dead man."
Officer Boer struggles to shove Ben off of him, but Ben manages to keep him pinned.
Ben looks up at us. "Get out of here. Now."
Harriet wrenches open the door to the van.
I pause in front of Ben before following her. "I'm going to find you again, soon. I think I found you a new job."