"Maybe, and I mean just maybe – please don't be insulted by it – it is you, Hermione," you managed to get out between laughter. "Potions aren't your strong suit."
The brown-haired girl shook her head. "No, no, no! It's not my fault that he is utterly incompetent when it comes to teaching. There's a reason why that man has the word 'slug' in his name!"
The girls around her started laughing again. Hermione had been ranting about their potions teacher and his (in her opinion) unfair grading system for the past ten minutes, gesticulating wildly.
"Hard to believe you fought against You-Kn-, you fought against Voldemort but can't get along with Slughorn this year," you snorted.
Hermione wagged her finger at you. "See, this is the point: Voldemort was almost predictable compared to him!" She threw her hands in the air. "He just does as he pleases, trying to ruin my future career!"
Before she could continue her rant about you, Ginny nudged you with her elbow. "The ferret is staring at you," she nodded in the direction of the door. "Look."
You followed her gaze and saw a group of people standing in a small circle. All Slytherins and to your surprise, some even wore costumes. Among them was Malfoy – and you felt a small sting of disappointment when you noticed, Malfoy wasn't paying attention to you. Instead he stared at Zabini like that guy had just personally insulted his mother. Frowning and confused, you wanted to turn to your friends again when suddenly the little Greengrass reached for Malfoys arm. For a split second you could have sworn that you saw him flinch.
Huh.
"He's not staring at me," you finally said to Ginny, trying to sound unbothered.
"Well, he was! Just until now!" She took another sip of her drink.
You shook your head. "I don't think so."
"Yeah right," suddenly a grin appeared on Ginnys face. "Just a coincidence. The same way it's also a coincidence that he always sits right behind you in class and the two you keep staring at each other the whole freaking day."
"We do not!", you protested. "You're talking nonsense."
"Come on, Y/N, it's painfully obvious!"
Were you really looking at him that often?
"Malfoy?", Hermione chimed in with a frown on her face. "Really? Don't you think that's a little beneath you, Y/N?"
You stared at her, suddenly at a loss for words.
Beneath you.
"My drink is empty," you cleared your throat, thinking of how to get out of here. "I'll be right back." Before anyone could say any more, you disappeared in the crowd.
The Room of Requirements was filled with people. Almost everyone had come to the Halloween party – an idea that originated somewhere in Hufflepuff – wearing the funniest costumes. You had looked forward to this night. It was your favorite season of the year; the beautiful colors surrounding Hogwarts, the crisp air in the mornings, rainy days spent in the library, and of course – Halloween. Despite it being a muggle tradition, you still liked to celebrate it and so you were excited when you heard about the party. The amount of students that appeared in the end made you worried that the teachers or Filch would break this up sooner or later. But two hours in and nothing had happened so far.
The table with the drinks was awfully close to the group of the Slytherins. Malfoy and Greengrass had stepped aside and you awkwardly brushed past them, keeping your head down. They didn't seem to notice.
The fight with Ron and the Potions class happened almost two weeks ago. Since then, you hadn't exchanged another word with the redhead (thank god) but you still occasionally thought about whole fake boyfriend thing. (Especially when you saw Ron at meals, eating noisily or telling one of his oh so funny stories.) It would drive him mad. Not that it was an appropriate option at all but the thought of his reactions amused you nonetheless.
As you poured yourself another drink, Astorias voice came to you through the loud music: "I don't see why we can't just make it official."
Malfoy needed a moment to reply. "Because the whole thing isn't official yet."
Oh.
Instantly, you knew what they were talking about. You thought about leaving, it'd be the right thing to do as this was none of your business, but then caught yourself purposefully slowing down your movements, taking your sweet time as you put the bottle back.
"It's going to happen anyways," Greengrass continued in a pressing tone. "My parents won't stop talking about it and I bet it's no different for your mother."
You heard the Slytherin sigh. "Why during school though?"
Good question, you thought. Pureblood marriages typically happened early but couldn't they at least wait until after graduation?
"You know, there are a lot of men who would jump at this opportunity. My family is well respected and yours is ..."
What the hell.
"Thanks, Astoria," Malfoy replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
Astoria probably regretted what she had just said and you heard her trying to soften the blow: "That's not how I meant it and you know that, Dray. I just don't understand why this takes you so long."
You quickly glanced over to the two of them. Draco looked agitated, a deep frown on his face: "Excuse me if I'm wrong but I'm not exactly your first choice either, am I?"
Again some time passed before she answered. When she did though, you wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake some sense into her. "It's not about what I want. It's about what my parents want. Pureblood marriages will happen less and less in the future so we will be a good union."
Staring at the drink in your hand, you raised an eyebrow. You had witnessed discussions like these before but they usually weren't carried out by people your age. It disturbed you because it was so clearly against what both of them truly wanted.
"Right," you heard Draco mumble. He couldn't be serious.
"Well, are there any reasons why we shouldn't move on?"
Yes. Yes, there are, you wanted to shout and gritted your teeth. Adding to you frustration, Draco stayed quiet.
"Excuse me?"
You needed a moment to realize this question was directed at you. Only after Astoria called you by your name, your eyes widened as you turned towards them, gripping the drink in your hand tightly. Both Slytherins were staring at you. Greengrass a little more confused, Malfoy a little more amused. (Seriously, why was he always so amused at everything you did.)
"Did I say that out loud?", you asked in a high-pitched voice. Embarrassed, you cleared your throat.
"Yes, Y/L/N", Astoria snarled. By Merlin, she could really switch this mean girl voice on. "What did you mean by that?"
"Nothing," you shrugged, trying to play it off.
"Cut it out, you felt the need to eavesdrop on a private discussion so whatever you have to say, say it, Gryffindor," she hissed.
You pondered about your options. Confronting Astoria Greengrass meant drama. You knew the Slytherins too well for that. On the other hand, you felt the strong urge to intervene even though this didn't affect you and it shouldn't even bother you to begin with. Not your life. Certainly not your problem.
"Well, why do you have important private conversations at parties?", you finally countered.
Astoria stared at you with a deadly expression.
Alright then. "And yes," you continued, "there are reasons."
"Such as?"
You turned to Malfoy who looked at you with raised eyebrows, curious to see where this would go. He really wasn't going to say anything, you realized.
"Well, such as ...," you trailed off. "He has girlfriend."
Boom.
The words were out. They simply tumbled over your tongue and when your brain caught up, it was too late.
Malfoys face went blank. He froze, still staring at you, probably wondering if he had simply imagined you saying this. (Oh how you wished this was true.)
"What?", confusion was written all over Astorias face. "He –, what? Draco, what's she talking about?" She turned to him.
The Slytherin didn't react.
Well, too late to turn back now. "It's true," you slowly continued. "I'm his girlfriend."
"What?"
"She's what?"
"Girlfriend?"
More people chimed in and you saw how the rest of the Slytherins had turned their attention towards you. If Astorias eyes became any wider they'd probably fall out of her head, you thought to yourself. All of the sudden, her face changed. At first you thought she started crying by the way she looked away and her body started shaking. Then you realized that she wasn't. She was laughing. Astoria shook her head, laughing loudly while the rest watched her awkwardly.
"Oh, this is adorable!", she panted, tears from laughter in her eyes. "Does someone has a little crush on Draco?! Is this your attempt to get him to like you, Y/L/N? This is pathetic, it's simply –"
"True," finally Malfoy found his voice again and finished her sentence. "It's true. She's my girlfriend. We're dating." He looked at you and it was hard to tell what he was thinking.
"That explains a lot," Zabini stated dryly.
You frowned, feeling like you missed the context there. However, Malfoy seemed to understand.
"But," the little Greengrass had stopped laughing or smiling completely. "You're a ... Draco, she's a Gryffindor. This is ... what did you think ..."
You knew what she was trying to refer to. It disgusted you. "Oh, don't worry, I come from a pureblood family," you said mockingly. "Besides, there are quite a few Ravenclaws and Slytherins among us so I'm not all blood traitor."
"STUDENTS OUT OF BED!"
The conversation got harshly interrupted by a shrill scream. You flinched, the glass with firewhiskey falling to the ground and shattering. Then the music went out. Everyone turned to the door which was now widely open. Argus Filch stood in the middle of it, a small lamp in his hand and a crazed look in his eyes. He panted heavily, looking at the mayhem in front of him.
"STUDENTS OUT OF BED!"
Chaos broke loose. Glasses fell to the ground, people were screaming and running. Some apparated on the spot, some tried to get to the door. You belonged to the last group, trying to make your way past Filch. Teachers would probably show up any second now.
"This way," someone grabbed you by the arm. Turning around, you saw it was Malfoy.
***
"Well, this feels familiar."
The door behind you fell shut and you found yourself standing in complete darkness. Malfoy didn't reply to you, instead he whispered "Lumos", illuminating the small broom closet. You look around, wincing when you caught sight of a fat black spider sitting on one of the walls.
"Will you make room for me?", the Slytherin hissed.
"I think I'll pass," you mumble, still staring at the spider.
Malfoy groaned and rudely shoved you aside. He sat down directly underneath it. You didn't say anything.
"We'll probably be here a while so you might as well sit down," he grumbled.
Outside was still chaos. Students running around, teachers calling for order, Filch screaming nonsense, all accompanied by Peeves who was howling loudly. Yeah, you'd probably be here a while until it was safe to come out. Back in the Room of Requirement, Malfoy had grabbed you and pulled you towards a second door. It let you leave without anyone noticing. The two of you ran down the corridor and knowing that the house teachers would probably be waiting at the entrance of the common rooms, you decided to hide in the next best room for a while.
How ironic, you thought, remembering how you met Malfoy for the very first time this school year.
"Second door," you began as you sat down across from him. "How did you know?"
He shrugged. "It's the Room of Requirements."
You tilted your head to the side. "I've never used the room before actually."
Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "Weren't you part of Dumbledore's Army?"
You shook your head. He looked surprised.
"Have you used it before?"
Draco nodded, looking to the ground. Then he suddenly changed the topic: "Why did you say that?"
"What do you mean?"
Of course you knew what he meant. However, you weren't sure of how to answer. Why did you say you were his girlfriend?! Girlfriend. Draco Malfoys girlfriend. Just imagining it felt weird and strange to you. Never would you have thought you'd use this sentence to describe your current situation. But to be fair, you weren't his real girlfriend.
"Y/L/N."
He looked at you, awaiting your answer. What were you supposed to answer? You did it to save him from Astoria Greengrass? This was none of your concern. You did it to get back at Ron Weasley? Pathetic. Yet, no lie came to your mind that would make more sense.
So you decided to go with the truth. "I saw how miserable you were and –"
Malfoy rolled his eyes.
"– and I remembered you joking about the whole fake girlfriend in Potions."
"Yes, Y/L/N, I was joking." Merlin, he sounded annoyed.
To your surprise, he was much calmer though than you had expected. You thought he would be fuming, shouting at you, being insulted at the pure thought of (fake) dating a Gryffindor and maybe even mock you in front of his friends. However, you were wrong about him once again. Now that you were watching him like this, slumped back against the wall, he just looked tired – and a little annoyed, you had to admit. But was there also a hint of relief in his eyes or were you simply imagining it?
"What else?", he suddenly asked.
You frowned, not understanding him.
"I know you Gryffindors have a savior complex but not even on of you would pretend to be dating someone like me purely for selfless reasons," he said in a bitter voice. "Especially considering your circle of friends. So why else did you do it?"
Letting out a sigh, you shifted to a more comfortable position, stretching out your legs. You weren't sure if you should tell him. Could you trust him? Probably not. Then again, as far as you knew he had kept all of your secrets. The rational part in your brain told you that it was a dumb idea. This would come back to bite you in the ass. Yet, the feeling in your gut said it was alright. Malfoy wasn't as bad as you had imagined. And if he were to tell anything, you'd had enough leverage on him to make him regret it.
So once again, you decided to go with the truth. "Ron will flip out when he hears of it."
Malfoy stared at you. Thank Merlin, the room was only dimly lit. It lowered his chance of seeing you blush.
"The Weasel?"
"Mhm," you nodded. "I mean ... he hates you and he will hate us seeing together."
"But he's dating Granger. Or is that over?"
"No."
"I don't follow you, Y/L/N."
You let out a soft sigh. "He admitted to having a crush on me. So there were feelings at some point. And we've been friends for years. So, there's a part left that still cares for me and he absolutely can't stand you, so ... he'll be mad."
Confusion was written all over Malfoy's face. "That's a bit of a stretch, don't you think?"
Maybe. You knew for a fact that your feelings were embarrassing and if your parents knew they'd give you an one hour lecture about how Ron doesn't deserve any of your attention. Thank Merlin, they weren't here.
"So you want him back?", Malfoy guessed.
Your eyes widened and you shook your head almost violently, so strongly did you disagree. "Oh, fuck no."
"So you want to get back at him."
"Yup." That was it.
The corners of his mouth began to twitch as if he was suppressing a grin. "That's such a Slytherin thing to do." Then he became more serious again. "And also – beneath you, Y/N."
You rolled your eyes at the all too familiar comment of his. Then you noticed something: "You just called me by my first name, Malfoy."
"Don't get used to it," the Slytherin replied, casually running his hand through the white blond hair. "It's just for practice."
Astonished, you looked at him. "So that means we're actually playing pretend for a few months?"
"Weeks," he corrected you. "And yes. It'll by me time to think of a more permanent solution."
"Oh," you nodded. "Okay then." For some reason, you felt more excited about this than you expected to. Playing pretend with a Slytherin for a little. What could possibly go wrong?
Outside it became more and more quiet with each minute. The shouting had stopped and no more steps were heard. You listened intensely – but no. Nothing. Just as you were about to suggest going to your respective common rooms, Malfoy began to speak again: "You could have just given Astoria a lecture on her values and morals, y'know."
"Marry for love, not for money?"
He nodded.
"And you think she would have listened to me?", you questioned him.
He sighed. "Probably not." Then he added: "You're a Gryffindor, though."
You snorted. "You're awfully good at generalizing things, aren't you?"
Malfoy shrugged. "I'm a Slytherin."
You simply stared at the young man in front of you. "Right," you cleared your throat when he didn't notice what just happened. "No, I knew this wouldn't have worked."
"So you did this instead."
"Yup."
Malfoy let out a heavy breath of air. "Well, fuck me."
"Was that an invitation, Malfoy?", you smirked at him.
"You had to much too drink, Y/L/N."
"Or not enough."
He looked at you and a small chuckle escaped his lips. He moved his head to his side but it was too late – you had already seen him smiling. Not a smirk or one of those mocking smiles he had perfected – no, an authentic, real smile. The first one you'd seen on him in years. He was gorgeous, you thought. Obviously you had noticed his good looks before but never like this. Never in such an honest way. The sight was almost unreal to you and it made you smile back at him.
At that moment, you remembered who sat in front of you. Clearing your throat, you averted your eyes from him. "Anyways," you changed the topic. "What does she even get out of it?"
"Astoria?"
"Mhh."
Malfoy hesitated. "I guess, her and my mother are close."
"My mother has close friends too but doesn't make me marry their kids," you remarked.
Draco rolled his eyes. "Honestly, I don't know," he admitted. "It's not for social advantages, that's for sure." All of the happiness you had gotten a glance at a few moments prior, was gone with this sentence. A sick part of you thanked Merlin for it – this was the Malfoy you were used to. Getting to know him better would help neither of your families. Despite the whole fake-dating mess, this was probably the closest you would ever get to him.
At least, that's what you told yourself.
"You traditional purebloods are unbelievable," you muttered. "I mean, maybe it's just a crazy idea but I'd like talk to my partner before I ask them to marry me."
Malfoy raised an eyebrow. "Speaking of judging other people – how's the Weasel in bed?"
Touché.
Just when you were about to shoot back – Malfoy lost it. He jumped up in a panic, frantically slapping himself, as he let out a high-pitched scream. You stared at him in shock, not knowing what was going on before you finally saw it: the spider.
The fat spider from earlier had made her way down to the talking Slytherin, curiously exploring his upper body. It was almost as big as the size of your hand and absolutely disgusting.
Malfoy tried desperately to get it off. However, like so many creatures in this castle, she had made up her mind and didn't agree with him. So the spider clung to the fabric of his suit. He pushed the door open violently and ran into the hallway.
You got up to follow him but barely managed to get out of the door when you watched him: Draco Malfoy, former Death Eater, was jumping up and down in front of you, screaming like a ten-year-old girl. You burst into laughter, holding your stomach as tears shot into your eyes. Gasping for air, you were kneeling on the ground.
"Shut up and help me!" He barked at you angrily.
You weren't able to.
Finally, after a few more seconds, he grabbed the thing and hurled her back into your direction. You shrieked and ducked. The spider landed on the stones, quickly disappearing into the darkness of the small closet.
Draco's face had a close similarity with the color of a ripe tomato and when you looked at him, still on the ground, you couldn't stop yourself from collapsing into laughter again. Tears were running down your cheeks as your voice echoed in the dark hall.
He watched you in anger but suddenly something changed – and he joined in. Not as strongly but he started laughing as well, leaning against the wall. It was so contagious and the situation so bizarre that the two of you remained like this for a few moments.
When both of you settled down, you wiped the tears away and stood up slowly. Malfoy didn't look at you, he had his eyes focused on the window in front of him, the faint reminder of a smile still on his lips.
The air had shifted around you.
You swallowed hard and fiddled with the edge of your jacket. "I should probably go. It's late."
Draco rubbed a hand over his eyes and nodded. "Yes, probably."
"Night, Malfoy."
"Good night."
Months would pass before Malfoy would admit to you, while drawing invisible patterns on the skin of your back, that this was the first time he had laughed – truly laughed – in almost two years.
***
The thoughts in your head ran wild as you stood in front of the small bathroom mirror. When you got back to the common room, almost no one was asleep. Everyone was talking about what had happened, wondering what the consequences would be. You managed to get to the bathroom unseen by Ginny or her friends, hiding in it.
Something had changed tonight and it bothered you that you didn't understand what. It was this faint feeling; this moment you had shared with Malfoy. He fascinated you. Something about him kept pulling you in – every time you talked to him, he sparked your curiosity and left you wondering about his life.
It was a simple realization that hit you when you looked at yourself in the mirror: in another life, you could have been friends.
Another life, another planet, another universe with other friends, other houses, other families.
Not in this life though. He was too much trouble. As much as you felt the strong desire to get to know him better, he was not worth it. This year was too important for you – your future plans didn't deserve to get tainted by you hanging out with a former Death Eater.
You leaned down to splash cold water in your face. Little did you know that across the castle, Draco Malfoy sat on his bed, staring at the dark water of the sea, having almost the same confusing thoughts.