Chapter 8
Sunday, September 13th, 1pm
I'd soon come to find that I really enjoy Jungkook's company.
He's a sweetheart.
Even when I woke up to him staring at me like a creep this morning, he'd still somehow managed to look so innocent that I couldn't really feel too freaked out. Maybe that was his way of showing affection. Or maybe he'd forgotten how to act around people after 20 years of solitude. I really can't tell, but he kind of radiated this child-like aura that made me wonder if he really is as old as he says he is.
He's also funny. When I'd found out that he died more than 2 decades ago, I assumed that his sense of humour would be kind of outdated. But it isn't.
Jungkook had explained to me that it's because he often snuck over to the houses of the people on this floor and kind of eavesdropped on them. Watched whatever they were watching.
He'd also informed me that Jimin watched some concerning things occasionally, but I'm not really surprised.
I guess that's why his understanding of modern slang is pretty good but earlier he'd asked me what a "WAP" was.
I'd almost died of embarrassment.
Besides that, he is just a really fun person to be around. It was refreshing to come home to a welcoming face after a long day of work.
"Is this going to hurt?" Jungkook asks, staring at me with his large, doe orbs.
He was currently strapped up to a electromagnetic field projector that'd I'd bought off of Amazon. Its credibility is somewhat questionable, but that isn't going to stop me.
We had been running experiments all day and I think Jungkook was getting a little tired. He didn't complain, though, so I kept going.
We'd done everything from thermal imaging, to laser tests and even ghost box recordings. I was ecstatic to be coming up with such good results for every test I'd ran so far.
I figured that since I am going to be stuck with him for a while, I can at least use him as my research for my book.
Obviously he'd agreed when I asked him. He seemed to like the extra attention.
"No, it's just gonna send some electromagnetic fields through your body. Then I'll be able to measure it," I say and tap the edge of my clipboard with my pen.
Jungkook looks at me nervously.
"Why?"
"Well, ghosts supposedly give a spike in emf readings when they're present. Sometimes even disrupt the fields and mess with equipment like cameras and cellphones," I explain, turning the machine on.
It was true. Yesterday when Jungkook stood near the microwave, it went completely berserk. It burnt my rice too so I'm still slightly miffed.
"Oh, okay I see. I trust you, Angel," he gives me his toothy grin and I resist the urge to squeal at how adorable he looks.
Giving Jungkook a pat on his fluffy head, I turn on the machine.
It starts to buzz and I smile in satisfaction.
Jungkook squirms around uncomfortably in his seat. His teeth graze his bottom lip and his eyes shift around quickly.
"I don't like how this feels," he says quietly.
"Hmm, what was that?" I question, not fully paying attention to what he's saying.
Instead, I'm looking at the reading on the meter that's going off the charts.
"Y/n, I think something's wrong."
I work quickly, recording the data and watching as the numbers climb higher and higher.
"It's...starting to sting..."
"Oh my God," I whisper to myself in amazement. The numbers keep climbing.
I start to turn the machine to a greater power but then I hear Jungkook grunting. I tear my eyes away from the readings and look at Jungkook.
His body is trembling slightly and his handsome face is twisted in pain.
"P-please, stop. It's hurting m-me," he stutters out and I immediately shut off the machine, unstrapping him.
"Jungkook! I'm so sorry! I didn't realise!" I exclaim.
I feel incredibly guilty and a little disgusted at myself. Jungkook's face is contorted with pain and his eyes are slightly watery.
I had no idea that ghosts could actually feel pain so intensely.
"I'm really sorry, Kookie. I didn't know it was going to hurt you. I'm so, so sorry," I apologise and grip his hand tightly.
He stays quiet and plays with the hem of his Nirvana T-shirt. His arms are stiff at his sides and his pale skin resembles that of a corpse.
I really fucked up.
Pulling him over to my big, grey couch, I make him sit down.
"Please forgive me. I'm sorry."
I rub his cheek gently, in soothing circular motions.
Jungkook closes his eyes and throws his head back against the soft material of the couch. He still hasn't uttered a word- as if he's thinking carefully about what he wants to say to me.
I feel worse and worse as the seconds tick by.
"Y/n," he finally breathes out. Almost inaudibly.
"Am I..."
"Are you what?" I urge him to continue.
"A-am I...just an experiment to you?"
My eyes widen and I grasp his face between my hands. He doesn't look me in the eyes.
"What? Of course not, Jungkook!"
He looks unconvinced but he nods slightly.
"Well, then what am I to you?" He questions "Do you see me as a person... or am I nothing more than a ghost?"
I feel my heart shatter in the realisation that I'd hurt his feelings so badly. I've never seen his eyes looks so sad before.
"You're a person, Jungkook," I say slowly. "And I'm sorry for making you feel any less than that. I just got caught up in the fact that I had a ghost living with me that I forgot that you're equally as human as I am."
I grip into his shoulder.
"Maybe not on the outside... but in there," I gesture towards where his heart would have been. Where it isn't anymore.
Jungkook has a strange look in his eye. Something that I can't read.
"Thank you, Angel. I'm sorry for ever doubting you," he pulls me into his embrace and I don't fight it.
Instead, I hug him back tightly. He's warm, not cold at all. I can help but notice that he smells like the earth.
Or like, the smell that lingers in the air after it rains.
It was probably my favourite smell.
"Alright, tough guy. Let's go out to the park. I'll get you some frozen yogurt as a treat," I say to him.
Jungkook's face lights up but then falls just as quickly. He pulls away from me slightly and leans back against the couch.
"I can't leave this floor, remember?" He bows his head.
"Oh shit, right," I say and realise that I probably just made him feel worse.
Way to go, genius.
"Right," he echoes.
It's silent for a while. We both say nothing and instead just bask in one another's warmth. Outside, I can the sound of children playing happily and the sound of a few birds chirping noisily.
Everything seems so tranquil.
Like the calm before the storm.
"Hey, Jungkook?"
"Yeah?" He says absently, looking off into space. His pupils are slightly dilated and his lips are apart. Like he's not even here.
"How come only some people can see you when you manifest? Like how come I can see you?"
He snaps out of his daze and stares at me for a second. Jungkook smiles sadly.
"It's like I said when I first met you," he begins slowly.
My cheeks heat up at the thought of our first meeting. How awkward it had been to find him in my bed. I quickly brush it off.
"I only exist to those who believe in me. Who believe in the afterlife and everything it entails,"
Jungkook drops his gaze to his lap and plays with his fingers.
"And I suppose, other than that, I don't actually exist..."
"...I'm not real."
I frown at how strangled his voice sounds. It's odd to hear him sound so sad. It doesn't fit his usual, bubbly demeanour.
I can't help but think that this is my fault.
"You exist, Jungkook," I insist.
I take both of my hands and place them firmly on his chest. Pushing down and feeling something that feels like a heartbeat.
How strange.
"See? I can feel you! You're completely solid."
I grab his hands to stop them from fidgeting and place them on my cheek.
"And...and you're warm too!" I let out.
"I can hear you. I can smell you. I can see you. You're just as real as the couch we're both sitting on."
Jungkook still has an unreadable expression in his eyes, but a small, unsure smile starts to make it's way on his features.
"You're right, Angel. I exist to you..."
I nod, happy to see him understanding. I begin to smile and get ready to call him silly for doubting himself
But then he mumbles something lowly and I almost don't hear it.
But I do, and it makes my heart break a little.
"...and that's all that matters."