Playlist: Forever - Lewis Capaldi
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ༶• ┈┈ ⛧ ┈ ♛ ♛ ┈ ⛧ ┈┈ •༶ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧
Suna Rintarou never once thought that someone could change his vision of life. Ever since he blurted his first word, there was a burden that was being thrown towards him. It was as if he was given a perfect path, one that actually craved by a lot of people.
But there was no freedom in it. As if he was being put forcefully on the road with an electric fence that extended high into the sky, leaving him with no choice except to go along with what had been given. And every day, he just had to accept it
It was thanks to volleyball that made him survive the first few years he lived in this world. He still remembered how he walked past the school gymnasium in the first week of Junior High. The squeaking of the shoes sounded so annoying, followed by the rowdy noise of volleyballs being slammed to the hardwood floor.
He grimaced at first and scurried up to just get away from there. Yet the volleyball decided to greet him. Not forcefully that could harm him, it slid with a gentle pace towards him instead. The colour was too bright for his liking when he first saw it; bright yellow and cobalt blue (or is that azure? He didn't know at that time).
As much as he wanted to just turn around and walked to the gate, something tugged inside his heart. As if he was fated to be there, like he would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn't walk to the gymnasium. And in the next second, he stood at the doorway with the volleyball in hand.
Up until now, he still had goosebumps once in a while. The day when the universe lowered the electric fence from his path, when an unknown energy was absorbed into his whole body. Volleyball was the only thing that his parents approved of, it was the only thing that kept him sane for the next few years.
And it was the same thing that brought you to him.
A little smile appeared on his face as he daydreamed, didn't give a damn about how everyone's eyes fell upon his figure. All the murmur that he heard since he woke up after three days in a coma, all the pity he had received from his family and friends. Him, Suna Rintarou. The flawed son.
Flawed, of course. He knew since the day he was born that he was flawed. Every time his father looked at him, there was only one thing that he could see— disappointment. Because he was the exact contrast of what his old man wanted.
And he swore, he swore when one day he had a child with you, he wouldn't look at them like how his father looked at him. As if they were a mistake. He was sure that his future would be so different compared to his horrid life that he had been through.
After all, the mother of his child would be a perfect woman, someone that saw everyone more than just their flaws. He would marry you.
You glanced towards him once in a while, making sure that he was alright and mouthed at him to be patient. Then your eyes focused back to the doctor who currently told you all the medicine that he had to drink.
He shuddered as he could taste the bitter pill on his tongue already, how his life from now on would be filled with medicine and stretching routine. Even though he couldn't play volleyball, it didn't matter now since you would be there for him.
At least that was what he hoped.
Sweat started to glisten on his forehead even with how cold the temperature in the lobby was. He looked down, eyes darted to his palms that had been used to make contact with volleyball.
His skin was calloused, you always loved to press your hand on his, saying that it was the remembrance of how much time he had spent for something that kept him going. You never once complained about how his finger traced your face, you never complained about how rough it felt on your skin.
"It shows how much you had put for volleyball, Rintarou." You once said, "It shows how much you love it."
He grimaced, thinking that one day his skin would feel like a baby's hand. Soft, silky, a constant reminder that he could never play volleyball ever again. And to live knowing he had to let go something that kept him sane, to let go of the path that he chose—now he doubted that his life would be alright.
"What's on your mind?" Suna jolted a little when your palms suddenly trailed down on his chest from behind. "Is it me~?" He could hear the teasing tone in your voice, making him roll his eyes—annoyed, but not really.
"You are so cocky you know that?" Yet he snickered either way, letting his head fall to the back to feel more of your warmth.
"Well, if I lived with such a cocky bastard for more than a year, of course it rubbed on me."
"That's mean."
"Oh shush you big baby."
You leaned your head down to give him a kiss at the crown of his head. His eyes fluttered closed from your affection. The two of you didn't care about the fact you were in public—and it's not like you were sharing an inappropriate affair anyway.
Ever since high school though, Suna always made sure everyone knew you belonged to him one way or another. If he was not there by your side (which was rare since he always scurried to your class once the bell rang), you were always seen with his volleyball jacket wrapped around your figure.
And right now, despite the fact that the entire hospital knew you were the future Mrs. Suna, he couldn't help but tilt his head up, wanting to catch your soft lips with his chapped one (you always forbid him to stop peeling the dry skin, but his unconscious mind always won in the end).
"Ready to go home?" You whispered softly in between the soft kisses that you two shared, fingers sweeping the dark brown bangs away from his eyes.
"Yes, I am tired of being here." He answered truthfully, causing you to chuckle from how done he looked right now.
"Alright, alright." You straighten your posture, fixing the strap of your bag that was drooping from your shoulder. "Let's go to our home, Rin."
»»————- ♔ ————-««
Everyone could have a house. A property, a building with four walls—the place for shelter from the scorching sun and heavy rain. It was the same place where a bunch of people gathered, the place where they eat and rest.
For the first twenty three years of his life, Suna Rintarou lived inside a house. No matter how expensive the heater was installed on his house, no matter how many blankets that covered his body when he was asleep; he never felt the warm atmosphere that he always found inside another resident.
He envied how joyous the atmosphere of the Miya regency was. The twins mother always asked him what kind of trouble that her children had done for today, or how much they fought during school.
At first, he expected to hear maybe a grumble, disapproval, or just downright insult and disappointment when she knew how troublesome the twins were.
But he heard chuckle instead, a gentle smile plastered on her wrinkled face as she put down the knife that she used to cut some carrots. "Why am I not even surprised?" Her words were exactly the same as his father when he informed about him being in class 1.
And yet how both adults uttered the words was so different. One filled with love, tired maybe, but no negative tone could be heard. While the other one, the one that his father muttered, was just—cold.
Resting his head and arms on the kitchen island, his green orbs fixated on the woman that was now standing with her back turned on him. Gentle music filled the entire place, a little hum could be heard slipping from her lips.
She was magnificent, through his eyes, you were magnificent. With just your existence, it was enough to make this house he lived in become a home. A sanctuary where love and affection danced in the air, sometimes even when the two of you were apart.
In every crook and corner in this place, there was always a reminder of you and him. Either it was some of his photographs, wall accessories that you handpicked, lavender scent that could be scented vaguely—this was his home. His and yours.
"I could feel you staring." You cut the silence that ensued before. "If you keep doing that, I might not finish making the dinner you know."
The statement made him raise one of his eyebrows in confusion, wondering why did you stop what you were doing solely because of the fact he was staring at you. It was a normal thing, and you never once complained about how his eyes pierced on your figure as if it was the only thing that he could see.
Well, you were the only thing that he wanted to see, to be honest.
You rinsed your hand, dried it with a towel that hung on the iron hook near the sink. And in an instant, your feet brought you to him. He spun the leather stool where he was sitting in to face your upcoming advent.
Before he could ask you what you were planning, you had your arms hooked around his neck. It was so sudden, and he almost fell forward from the force that you put. You rested your head at the crook of his neck, bending your body to make sure he was not the one who felt tired from this position.
"(Y/n)?" He called out, "What's wrong with you?" His fingers slipped in between the strand of your hair, wondering what was it with you and the sudden affection. You answered him with silence, yet deepening the hug as if it was not enough.
So he decided to just get along with whatever you were planning to do.
He closed his eyes, planting his face on your hair to scent the fresh aroma of your shampoo. Lavender, just like what he loves. When he searched the internet of how to make a bedroom have a better atmosphere in his Junior High days (in hope that maybe he could feel a slight warm from it), he found out Lavender was one of the best choices.
And ever since then, he always hooked with the scent. Even though it was just his mind who embedded the idea, even though it was not real—at least it was the closest thing that he could get when it came to feel like he was loved.
"You always wanted to hug me," You suddenly broke the comfortable silence, "When I cook, you always slithered your arms around my torso, wanting some affection."
Well, that was true. And if only he could stand up and walk towards you, he would do the same over and over again, "So now, let me give you a hug once in a while, okay?"
He swallowed a huge lump, letting out a sigh as he wondered about the reason behind your proposition. Was it a pity? Because you knew he could never wrap his arms around you? Surprising you from behind as you were busy with some chores?
"That is random." He chuckled, trying to coax the bitterness that he had to accept for the rest of his life.
"You always clingy anyway, even when you were not supposed to." You dropped the fact so easily, and even though he was indeed; the clingiest man that you ever encountered—he never, not even once, labeled himself like that.
"And what? Since I can't be clingy anymore you want to rub it on me that I can't give you random hugs again?"
He tensed as he realised how the words that were supposed to be blurted out as a joke, turned into one with a malice intonation instead. You promptly pulled yourself away, taking a step backward with disbelief written all over your face, "I didn't mean—"
Too much. He leaned a little bit too much.
It was as if everything became a blur when he tried to reach you. He wanted to just walk up and engulfed you, knowing how much pain that his words caused before. But he couldn't, he couldn't anymore as the only thing that he would meet was the cold hardwood floor.
He closed his eyes, bracing himself from the impact with both hands securing his torso from the solid surface. But he didn't feel any physical pain, he didn't feel any scrape grazed his skin. Instead, he felt like he had fallen into an embrace of an angel.
"I am sorry," He hiccuped, fingers gripping tight on your shirt, "You have done so much to me—I s-shouldn't have said anything like that."
For every single thing that he had done in this world, he never wanted to hurt you, either physically or emotionally. You were the only people that he opened up to, the only one that he found comfort.
No matter how many times he just wanted to leave, no matter how many times he pushed you away. You always came back to his side—uninvited, sometimes unwanted. Yet, it was exactly what he needed.
"It's alright, Rinrin." It's not, "You are just upset, it's okay."
It's not okay. He really wanted to scream it out. You are going to be stuck with me forever. But he only ended up tightening his grip. And yet I already hurt you in the first week.
"Don't you think I am going to be a burden?" He whispered, slowly lifting his head to meet your eyes, "I can't do anything, (Y/n). I am just a fucking parasyte—"
"No." Your voice sounded so stern, like you were in rage, making him shut his lips. "You are not. You are Suna Rintarou. My soon-to-be husband, my love, my everything." Yet your eyes shone with a mix of love, anguish, a little disappointment.
You were disappointed not because of what he was right now, you were disappointed with how his mind works. For all these years building him up, pushing him to pursue his career that he loved so much, it saddened you that he would even think that his flaw could change anything.
Because it's not. Not now, not even in a million years.
"Do you know how I see you, Rin?" You asked softly, combing his bangs to the back. He faintly shook his head, eyes still admiring the tender look that he could find on your face, "Perfection."
He scoffed when he heard your next statement. He was far from it, it was like an insult to the word that someone even called him as perfection.
"How? I was far from perfection even when both my legs worked." He sighed, averting your gaze and letting it fall to the floor, "All the more with me being total useless."
The statement irked you, and in a split second he hissed from the pain that he felt on his cheek, "Did you just pinch me?!" He whined, either he hurts physically or mentally, you didn't know anymore.
"Yes, I did." You cupped one of his cheek, tracing his skin that reddened a little from your ministration, "I swear, Rin. I swear one day you will see how much perfection you are." Determination filled your eyes, making his pupil dilated, "Even if it took me a lifetime, I swear that one day you would see yourself like how I see you."
Hot tears cascading down your cheek out of desperation. You didn't want him to get hurt like this, he had enough. He had been through lots of hardship in an unhappy environment for all of the years he lived in this world, "I promise, I promise."
He took a deep breath before burying his face on your abdomen, as if he was telling you that you shouldn't have lived with his happiness as your goal. He appreciated your love, your unconditional love towards him that even if you could find real perfection, you chose to be with him instead.
So just this time, he really wanted to do something big for you.
»»————- ♔ ————-««
You stood quietly on the balcony, lips shaped into a gentle smile as your eyes roamed to the horizon. With a champagne in your hand, you could only hear the waves that collided to each other, totally ignoring all the rowdy commotion that currently happened inside the house.
"Why is the soon-to-be bride standing here all alone?" You didn't even jolt when you heard the familiar delicate voice, feeling safe since you knew there was no point of having your guard up in front of him, "Shouldn't you be inside since today is all about you?"
"And Rin." You corrected him—whose orbs still pierced into everyone's soul, and sipped the pleasantly sparkling liquor in your hand. Your curt answer made him chuckle a little. He walked up to positioned himself beside you, eyes following your trail of gaze.
You could see anything from here with how the balcony faced the wide ocean. Your orbs could catch what happened in the backyard or how the seagulls flew with the wind. Your eardrums could hear the peaceful atmosphere that was created from the gentle waves rippling on the beach.
That was why it became your favourite spot in the house.
"You are happy, right?" He asked timidly, wanting to make sure once again, "With him, you are happy, right?" Or at least, it was what he needed all over again. Some kind of affirmation—that you would be alright.
"So much." Your smile widened a little, "I am very much happy to be with Rintarou." And it's all thanks to you, Shinsuke.
He was satisfied, to know that at least what he did two years ago, the decision of him to let you go—it was all worth it. With the smile that adorned your face, and with how his underclassmen had this joyful look inside his green orbs. Kita Shinsuke now could breathe peacefully.
"That's good to hear." He answered politely, "That's really good to hear." And he ignored all the cracks inside his heart.
You turned your face to gaze at him, feeling at ease when there was no sadness visible on his facade. Though, you knew damn well that this man beside you could mask everything. But just this one, you wanted to be selfish.
So you shrug at every possibility that might roam his heart at this very moment. Coating your mind that he was perfectly fine, and someday he would find someone that suits him more than you suit him.
Because by doing this, by just seeing the fact that you could only belong to one man, the three of you could find peace of mind.
"Hey, (Y/n)!" You coughed a little when someone suddenly called you out, making the champagne that you sipped a second before bursting on the floor, "Whoopsie."
Kita chuckled a little from the absurd interaction between you and the Black Jackals setter. You gave him a glare, but turned into a grateful look in a second when he fetched a hankie from his pocket.
Muttering a little thank you, you grabbed the handkerchief and dabbed your lips gracefully. You could feel the gaze that was thrown towards you, a snicker from the blonde made you feel so irritated. As if Kita knew what might happen, he took a step backward—just in case.
"Miya Atsumu." You called out, folding the hankie in your hand and placing it on your pocket, "Mind telling me the reason why you had to startle me like that?"
Finally turning around to face him, the setter grimaced at the deathly aura that you radiate. One step, two steps, he felt so small as you walked towards him with an intense glare, "If you didn't give me any kind of explanation, I am throwing you off the balcony."
Atsumu scoffed at this, making his ex-captain widened his eyes. Both of their eyes meet for a split second, and from the surprised look on the light grey haired man, he knew that somehow, he fucked up.
"Okay that's it—"
"Sunarin is looking at you!" The poor setter had both hands in front of his face, trying to protect himself in case you were indeed going to do something horrible to him.
And he was so glad when the annoyed look on your face turned into a gentle one by just the mention of your fiancé.
"Oh? Alright, where is he?" Just like that, you came back to your normal self. The happy-go-lucky woman who somehow could make everyone at ease. Before he got any more glimpse of your rage, he immediately led you downstairs to the living room.
You shared a glance with Kita, asking him to go down with you and Atsumu. Turning your head back to the front, you smiled a little when footsteps could be heard from behind—notifying you that he followed the two of you.
When you reached the living room, there was this surprised look on your fiancé, making you walk up faster towards him in worry.
"Rin, you are looking for me?" Your hand found his thumb grazing at the back of his hand as you subtly asked him to talk to you, "What is it? What did these dumb friends of ours do to you?"
You ignored some shout of protest (that you knew so well it was either from Atsumu or Ginjima, or maybe both of them) and the chuckles that ensued in the background. Suna blinked, shaking his head a little before finally focusing his eyes on your facade.
"They uh—" He tried to arrange the right words to say to you, "Uhm, are you free next weekend? Is the wedding preparation done?" You raised one of your eyebrows at the question.
"Yeah, it's all finished. Just need you and me sharing the vows and yada yada yada, we are husband and wife!" You sounded so excited even if you tried not to show it too much, "So yes, I am free. Why?"
Suna trailed his eyes to all of his friends, making you follow his gaze. They now had a sheepish look on their faces, glancing at each other before Ojiro finally took some step forward with an envelope in his hand.
"So," The Red Falcon's athlete cleared his throat, "Both of you are dear friends to us, and for a long time ago, we all knew that the two of you are meant for each other." His eyes flickered for a second to the light grey haired man before focusing back to you and your fiancé.
He held out the envelope for you to take, and you gingerly grabbed the soft paper from his grasp. Glancing to Suna, he gave you a soft nod, and that was enough for you to open it up, "And with how everything turned these past few days, either with you from your memory loss or him with his injury—"
You widened your eyes when you saw what was inside, "We think the two of you deserve to have a time of the life for a few days." Plane tickets, booking confirmation, itinerary, that was enough to indicate what they were all planning to do.
With joyful tears streaming down your face, you cupped your fiancé's cheek and kissed him passionately, making all of your friends' cheers and whistles. You pulled away in a few seconds and immediately engulfed everyone in a tight hug, muttering gratitude and showing how thankful you were to have them in your life.
Joy and happiness surrounded the house, your hug lingered a little bit longer as you were in the embrace of your once lover. With everyone bathed in the festive atmosphere, Suna was just sitting there with an appalled look on his face.
"What—" He voiced out, not too loud but just enough to make everyone focused on him, "What do you mean?"
There was something that reflected from his eyes. Agony, regret, once again visible on his face. Everyone stared at each other with a confused look as the green orbs scanned the crowd, as if he was searching for some kind of explanation.
Until it landed on Ojiro, "What do you mean memory loss?"