GULF
All of this pain, what's the purpose? I've been thinking about it for the last 30 minutes.
Should I give him a chance to explain? Will it clear all the misunderstanding?
I don't want to accept it but he still hold a space in my heart. Even if my mind tells me that I should runaway and hide, my body will not listen. That I'll end up hearing all of his excuses, to justify my feelings.
Slowly and careful, I sit down on the couch opposite him.
'Talk! I'll listen.' I told him with a stern voice.
'I know that all of this will not defend my action, and I won't force you to believe in me.' he started.
'The day of your parents accident, I knew it, Zee called me. I go straight to the hospital ...... I travelled for ..... 13 hours straight, b-but I'm .... not saying this to make you feel guilty. It's ...... just that ....... I saw you with Krists, and my mind was filled with jealousy. I was tired, hungry and the lack of sleep take it's toll on me. I can't decide clearly ...... so I stormed off without saying anything. Then I-I ...... heard about Krists ...... being on your side the whole time, until you got here in Bangkok. I feel u-useless. I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking ..... about you. But your not mine, how can I stop you from seeing someone?.' his hands were trembling along with his voice. I've never seen him so fragile like this. But I can't believe him just yet. After all I've been through.
'What about the condo and Saint? I want to hear it. Because I was doing fine. I'm picking up all the pieces of my shattered hearts, and then you waltz back like you didn't cause me pain. ' I sighed. All of this talks worn me out.
'I wasn't meant to go that far, I swear. We were drinking, and someone told me that you and Krists .... are .... living on the same house. I'm a little bit drunk so I asked Saint to drive me home. I saw your car on the parking lot, and decided that its payback time. I didnt mean to do and say all of that. I regret what I've done. Even Saint hated me for a week, because Zee's ignoring him until now. But I promised him that I'll help them make up. I deserve every unfortunate things, that comes in my way. But I can't let you go. Even if I say this, I know it's too late. Because Krists has you now. I had a chance but I wasted it, and I know you deserve someone better. Maybe you can come back? Let's start again? Even as friends.' I can see his eyes, tears threatening to fall. I didn't correct his idea of me and Krists being together. I want to trust him, again, in my own way.
'If that's what you want. Okay! Let's be friends.' I was shocked when he hugged me. 'Fuck! Let me go!' I shouted.
'But we're friends? And friends do hugging ...... and kissing sometimes. ' He grinned. I turned crimson red, recalling what had happened a while ago.
'Fuck you!' I snapped showing him my middle finger.
'Sure! There's no bed in here but I think we can managed.? he said while biting his lip.
Oh God! Jesus! Spare this horny bastard.
'I'm done motherfucker! Let's go! ' I yelled at him. I sit at the passenger not giving him a second glance. Minutes have passed when he jumped to the car holding a pomeranian.
'Where did you get that?'
'It's for you. I bought him, his name is Chopper.'
'I can't. I have housemates.' I told him, the smile on his face vanished.
' But I can go back to my condo, I was planning to, and he's too cute. I'll take him.' he's emotion turned a complete 360, he's now grinning from ear to ear. Even his eyes shows victory.
'Good thing! You can leave Krists house asap.' he whispered but I heard it.
'Bastard!'
'You cursed a lot now huh! Living with bad influence? questioning me.
'What's your problem with Krists?' I retorted
'Him! Everything about him from head to toe screams trouble.'
'How funny you're the one who hurted me.' I muttered, not thinking again.
Silenced filled the car.
'I'm sorry.! I told him.
'No. I'm sorry. I crossed the line.'
No one speaks after that.
I looked at chopper, sleeping on my lap. I smiled after realizing that even if my day went really bad, there's still things around me that I'm forgetting, that life can actually be beautiful.
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(A/N Hope you like it. ☺️ )