We won against Spain 3-1. I scored, had an asisst and a decisive pass. Pretty great game. We all flew back in the evening. We all slept the whole flight. We parted at the airport since we weren't all going to the same city. Lisa came to pick us up. She was so excited to see us, it was cute. She invited us over, but I really just wanted to go back to my place and crash. She dropped me off and I thanked her for the lift.
When I walked in, all the lights were off. I assumed Beth was asleep so I just went in my room silently to avoid waking her up. I took off my shirt and put it on my desk. I got changed as fast as I could considering I couldn't see anything because I refused to open the light. When I finally put my shorts the right way, I slipped in my bed. Ugh it felt good to be in my own things. I don't enjoy hotels that much. When I rolled over, I felt something hard against me. "Daan?" I heard. It scared me so much that I fell out of the bed. "Beth?" I asked as I tried to open the light.
When I finally did it, the first thing I saw was her looking at me. "God, you scared me so much" I sighed. "Sorry. I didn't think you were coming back until tomorrow" she said as she got up. "Where are you going?" I asked her as I stood up as well. "Hmm I don't know" she realized. "Lay back. It's late. Let's just sleep" I told her as I motioned to the bed. "Yeah" she murmured as she got back in. "You're still alseep aren't you?" I asked her as I pulled the blankets so it would cover her. "Yeah" she mumbled as she rolled on her side to face me. "I missed you" she said as she extended her arm to touch my face. "I did too. Now go to sleep. You need it" I kissed her hand before I faced the other way to avoid any further contact, but it really wasn't efficient since one second later, I felt her head agaisnt my back. I was too exhausted to do anything about it. And, I didn't mind. At some point, I even turned so her head would be on my chest. We were both tired. We didn't know what we were doing. It will never happen again so might as well let it happen. Well, that's what I was telling myself.
The next morning when I opened my eyes, she wasn't there anymore. I started stretching and rubbing my eyes when I suddenly stopped. I could hear voices, but it wasn't Beth's or any of our teammates'. I jumped out of bed and opened the door.
I quickly scanned the room and my eyes went wide. I just stood there like an idiot while they were all looking at me. Beth's family. I quickly shut the door again. For fuck's sake. What are they doing here at 9 in the morning. Beth would've told me if she knew they were coming. They probably thought I looked like such an idiot. Damn it!
I got dressed appropriately and built the nerves to come out for a hot minute. "Good morning" I said as I walked out. "You must be Daniëlle. Beth told us a lot about you" Her mother told me as I locked eyes with her daughter. She seemed like she wanted to fade into the furnitures. "I'm happy to meet you" I told her before she pulled me in an uncomfortable hug. "I'm Richard" her dad simply said as I walked passed him. Clearly the opposite of June. Ben was there too. I already met him because he came to one of the games I attended while I was injured and we talked. "I told you you should shave" I teased him as I passed him to get to the kitchen. "Good morning" I told Beth as I reached the cabinet over her head to get a mug. "I didn't know they were coming" she murmured to me. "Me neither" I replied as I kept smiling.
"We were thinking about going shopping today. Would you like to come?" June asked me. "Oh I don't think that's-" I started to say before I got stopped. Beth had reached for my hand as I was walking behind her and squeezed it. "What was that?" June frowned. "I was saying it would be my pleasure to come" I told her. "Great. We'll wait for you in the car" she said as she grabbed her purse and left with Richard on her heels. "You were so going to decline" Ben chuckled when they closed the door. "Of course I was. I think your dad hates me" I finally stopped holding my breath. Both of them suddenly seemed uncomfortable. "What is it?" I asked. "I think he doesn't have a problem with you, but with your eyes" Ben told me as he headed for the door. "We'll wait for you two" he said before he left.
"This was probably a bad idea" I told Beth. "My mom would've literally drowned me in questions and remarks if you didn't come. I owe you one" Beth told me as she grabbed a coat. "I'll hold onto that" I told her as we left.
The whole drive was pretty awkward. I was squeezed between the Mead siblings while June asked me a million questions. Turned out Beth wasn't lying. "How much do you make a year?" She asked me. "Mum" Beth growled. "Sorry" she raised her hand in the air and she kept her eyes on the road. "What's your sexuality?" She then asked me. "Mum!" Beth hid her face in her hands. "What?" June shrugged. "You're totally not invading her privacy" Ben commented. "You guys are so sensitive" June replied as she rolled in the parking lot. "To answer your questions, I'm bisexual and I make a lot" I told her. "See? It wasn't too hard" She said as she parked perfectly.
"I'm so sorry" Beth whispered to me as we got out. "Don't worry I'm used to invasive mums" I assured her. "Where do you guys want to go first?" June asked. "Dad and I are going to go buy some golf clubs" Ben said. "Oh yeah we should split" She answered. "We could all just go" Beth tried. "Nonsense. Let the boys be boys and let's go do some girl shopping" her mother replied. "Fun" Beth mumbled. "Don't worry. We'll survive" I said as we walked in. Well that's what I thought.
"How can shopping be so exhausting?" I whined as we got in the car after hours, long hours. "You only say that because you've never shopped with my mother before" Beth chuckled. "I just want to eat and go to sleep" I said as I put my seatbelt on. "Can we go get chinese?" Ben asked. "That's a good idea sweetie" June replied.
We drove to a little restaurant and bought some take out. We arrived just in time to catch the beginning of a movie. I think it was called Divergent or something. Luckily enough, the movie was good so now one talked during it. Don't get me wrong, I like the Meads, but it can get so awkward sometimes. Between Richard totally ignoring me existence to June totally invading my privacy in the least discreet ways, it can get exhausting. I was sitting in the 'L' portion of the couch while the others were on the other side. Ben was sitting beside his father at the other side of the couch, obviously the farther away from me as possible and June was beside me. Beth was sitting in the armchair before she went to get changed. When she came back, she came towards us instead. Richard instantly scouted closer to Ben to make a space for her, but she didn't even seem to notice. She came and sat right beside me.
It's not unusual. We often had to sit very close when our teammates came over and invaded our couch. But even then, when it's just us two, we never sit apart. We don't think much of it it's just a normal behaviour now just like every night, we go straight to my room without even thinking about it. There's not much to say about it, it's just how we work.
However by the look on Richard's face, it's not how it works for him. He looked like he was about to explode. Though, the look on June's face seemed to have silenced him, thankfully. The two siblings didn't seem to notice anything at all. Even we Beth layed down with her head on my shoulder, none of them felt the murderous glare being sent my way. But I did. I could feel all the anger and disgust coming my way. "Are you using my daughter?"
The whole world seemed to stop turning. "Richard!" June gasped. "I have the right to know" he said as he stood up. There we go. "I don't know what you think you're doing, but I know your intentions. I won't let you hurt my child!" He screamed at me. "Dad!" Beth intervened. "What in the world makes you think I'm going to hurt her?" I frowned. "I know you guys. You're all so nice and charming until you can't wait anymore to get what you want and then you use force" he said with the most accusing tone. "What exactly are you implying?" I asked him as I looked at him right in the eyes. "I'm saying that you'll force your will onto her" he replied through his gritted teeth. "You think I want to abuse Beth?" I chuckled. "Why in the world would I invite her to come live with me if these were my intentions?" I questioned him. "So when you pull the rug from under her feet, the fall will be bigger" he said. I was baffled.
"What even is your problem with me? You've been openly hostile towards me since the very first second when I haven't done a single thing wrong" I stated. "Because I know your kind" he replied as he stared me down. "My kind?" I scoffed. "You all think you're so great and powerful when you don't deserve anything more than we do. In fact, you all don't even need to work to get anything. Everything is handed to you on a plate and it makes you all think you deserve everything when you haven't earned anything!" He shouted. "You're right. Most of my 'kind' don't work their asses off for anything like you do, but you dont know me. I do the most every single the day to be able to even pretend I earned some of it" I replied. "Well you don't. You're so full of shit. One day you'll get tired of this and you'll destroy everything around you and I won't let my daughter be part of the collateral damage" Richard took one step closer. "That's enough!" Beth shouted.
We all stopped moving. "I will not let you come in here and start insulting the person that made my life better" Beth told her dad. "You're so naive. You don't know anything" Richard shook his head. "You're right. Maybe I don't. But what I do know is that I won't tolerate you acting like that. I won't let you talk like that about her" Beth told him as she faced him. "She's going to ruin you" he said. "Maybe she will" She said. Ouch. "But I know she won't" she added.
"It's too late for you to go back home. You can use my room, I'll sleep on the couch with Ben" Beth said as she headed for her room. "Here, you can put that on" she said as she handed them loose shirts and shorts for all three of them. "Thank you" June said. "The bathroom is that way" I told them as I pointed in that direction. "I'll go get changed in the room" June said before they all left to separate rooms. As soon as they left our field of vision, Beth disappeared in my room. "Go. I'll distract them" Ben told me. "Thanks" I told him.
"Hey" I said as I walked into my bathroom where Beth was leaning against the vanity. "Hi" she said as she quickly wiped her eyes. "You didn't have to do that. I've heard so many insults, nothing gets to me anymore. I even got attacked by a crazy man with a knife. I'm invincible" I joked to lighten up the mood. "It's not funny" she replied as she kept looking down. "It's fine, Beth. I was born to give people a reason to be angry. We're punching bags, but it's fine. I accepted it a long time ago" I told her as I gently lifted her chin up. There, I saw her watery eyes staring right back at me. "It's not fair" she shook her head. "It's not, but it doesn't have to be" I told her. She then collapsed in my arms. "You deserve better than that" she mumbled as she held me the tighter. "You do too" I told her as I reluctantly let her go. "We were born in two different worlds, but we're still the same" I told her. I stared at her eyes until the deep and captivating blue I love so much surfaced. She looked away as soon she she realized. "Don't" I told her. And slowly, she faced me again as I let my intense and passionate red eyes show.
"I'm so sorry for all of that" she whispered. "Don't be" I told her. "You're the one who's got to sleep on the couch" I laughed. "It's going to be hell" she bursted out laughing. "You could still sleep in here" I suggested. "Are you kidding? My dad would kill both of us with a spoon" she said. "Yeah I could see that happening" I replied. "I should go before they get to suspicious" she finally said. "Yeah" I mumbled underneath my breath as she walked past me. "I'm bringing that with me" she said as she grabbed one of my pillow. "You thief!" I exclaimed. "Sleep well" she told me before she closed the dood behind her. We both knew that wasn't going to happen.
I brushed my teeth quickly and got in bed. It took me a while before I could finally close my eyes because I could hear Richard arguing with Beth and June on the other side of the door. I wanted to come out a bunch of times, but I knew my presence would only make it worst. I don't get it, he's the only one out of the four who has a problem with me. Finally, they stopped talking and the lights closed. Then, silence.
I could hear Ben softly snoring a couple minutes later. I got through this day. I didn't think I could do it, but I did it. Hopefully, they don't come visit too often. I know when my family comes over it won't be like that so that's a relief. Well, maybe my mum is going to give me a long and exhausting talk to make sure I'm not doing anything unethical, but other than that there won't be any problem. I was so tired, but I feared what was going to happen if I let myself close my eyes. I didn't want to. But eventually, my eyelids started to get very heavy and I couldn't resist anymore. And there I was, diving right in my personalized version of hell.
"No! Don't do this! You can't!" I shouted as the gun was dangerously aimed against his beating heart. "Please no" I sobbed. "You can't leave me" I whimpered. "I'm right here" my dad's voice echoed everywhere. "Please" I whispered. "Daan, wake up" Beth's voice disturbed my sleep. "Finally" she sighed as she got off of me. "You should be fine now. It usually only happens once a night" she murmured as she was heading for the door. "Please stay" I begged. "I can't, my parents" she replied. "Fine" I dryly said, only because my ego was hurt. "I'm sorry" she replied as she walked out.
I can't believe I begged and she still left. It's never going to happen again. I'm an alpha, I don't beg. I do not beg. But then, the door opened again. "Screw it" I heard. "What are you doing?" I asked her. "I'm coming to sleep in my bed" Beth said as she put her pillow at it's usual place. "Your bed?" I smirked in the dark. "You know what I mean" I knew she was rolling her eyes even if I couldn't see a thing. "You're right, though. It's your bed too" I said. "Less talking, more sleeping" Beth grumbled. "Yes ma'am" I grinned as I layed on my back. "Don't be shy" I said before she threw her leg over me like she usually does. "Way better than the couch" she whispered. Yep, way better.
"What are you doing?" I mumbled as I slowly opened my eyes. "I woke up way too late. I wanted to go back before they got up" she said as she hurried to put other clothes on. "Relax, would you? You're an adult, they can't ground you. And it's already too late so come back to bed" I yawned as the sunlight blinded me. "My dad is so going to kill me.. or you" she sighed as she sat on the bed, totally defeated. "He can try, but I'm a big bad wolf, I won't go down easily" I said. "More like a cute little puppy" Beth replied. "Take that back!" I gasped as I poked her side. "I won't" she laughed. "You'll regret that" I told her. "What do you think you're going to do" she chuckled. "Can't you hear the couch calling for you" I said. "Nope. I don't" she answered as she got up.
"Get up. I can't face them alone" she told me. "You should just stay in pajamas" I said as I contemplated her outfit. "Is this too much?" She asked me. "A little. We're all still going to be in sweats it would a little weird for you to be all dressed and ready" I told her. "Damn it" she said as she started taking off everything. I looked away. It's not that I didn't want to look, it's that it wasn't really respectful and I didn't want that.
"Come on" I told her as we stood in front of my door. She walked out first. I was hoping they wouldn't be around but we came face to face with them. "Good morning" I told them. "So that's where you were" Richard shook his head. "Let's not start this again" June softly told him. "Oh but we should. Aren't you worried about the fact that your kid left in the middle of the night to go join her in her bed" he said. "Nothing happened" I sighed, tired of his condescending and accusing tone. "Yeah and I'm Santa" he scoffed. "She was having a bad dream and I went to wake her up" Beth explained. "Oh that I know. I could hear her scream from across the hall. What were you dreaming about? The people you ruined?" He asked. "Stop it, dad" Ben interjected. "You stay out of this" he shut him down. "So? Who was it? A random guy who did nothing to you? You saw him and just decided to end it all for him? Did he beg you to spare him? I bet you still did it" Richard said. "You don't know anything about me" I replied. "I know enough and I won't let you do the same thing to my kid" he didn't miss a beat.
Beth turned to me and took a deep breath in. "I think you should leave" she said. What? "Hell yes she does!" Richard exclaimed. "I wasn't talking to her. You should leave" she added as she faced him. "I can't believe how stupid you're acting right now. She already brainwashed you" he murmured. "She didn't 'brainwash' me, she just made me realize that my opinion matters, that I matter" Beth answered. "I appreciate you coming, but I think it would be better if you left. We'll drive Ben and Mum back later" she said. The shock on his face quickly disappeared to display anger.
"You" he said as he stepped up to me. "I think you know as much as I do that you're no good to her. You're just going to hurt her one day or another. If you really care for her, you'll let her go. The sooner the better. It's inevitable" he told me before he walked out.
"Beth" June called out. "Look, I'm sorry that I spoke to him that way it's just that I couldn't bare to hear him talk crap anymore" Beth started rambling. "I'm proud of you" her mother replied as she hugged her. I think it's safe to say we were all equally as confused. "You stood up for yourself, well someone else. You've never done that before" she said before she turned to me. "I don't know much about you, but if you make my child happy, which you clearly do, you're always going to be welcomed with open arms. I apologise for the way Richard treated you" she told me. "You don't have to. It's fine I promise" I lied.
"Let's put this to the side. Tell me, what are you two?" June asked. "Mum!" Beth actually face palmed herself. "What? I want to know. You two met one day and decided to live together. You run to her when she's in distress and you defend her against your own blood. Plus she's attractive. There's no way nothing is going on" her mother said. Well that was awkward. I had no clue what to reply to that because I didn't even know the answer. "Oh crap, I have to get to work. Jake just texted me and he can't make it, I have to cover the shift for him since he did it for me once" Ben said. "We can drive you" I offered. "It's fine. Knowing my dad, he's still in the parking lot" Ben told me. "Then go get dressed, sweetie" June said as she hurried back to Beth's room.
"Okay let's go" she said as she walked out one minute later, all dressed like the day before. "Thank you for your hospitality" she told me as she pulled me in an unwanted hug. "I'll see you soon, honey" she kissed Beth on the cheek. "Take care" I smiled at Ben. "You too" he replied. And with that, they left. "We did it. We got through this" Beth sighed as she closed the door behind them. I wasn't in the mood for celebration. "What's wrong?" Beth asked me. "Nothing" I shrugged before I went to my room and closed the door.
The truth is, Richard's words stuck with me. They were starting to eat me from the inside. I couldn't stop thinking about them and that's what I did, all day. I felt like I couldn't even breathe. What if he's right. I think that the real problem was that I knew he was. I called Lieke and told her about it, but it didn't help. She's my bestfriend so of course she wasn't going to agree with him, but that wasn't what I needed. I needed someone who understood what's it like to be what I am. So I hung up and was left alone with my thoughts once again. I never had a problem with being alone, the only thing is, now that I know what it's like not to be, I don't want to anymore.
Beth left a little while ago so I sneaked out of my room quickly to get something to eat. I didn't even realize it, but the whole day went by. It was now pitch black dark outside. I started to worry. Where could Beth possibly be? I sat at the dinner table watching the clock. It was like I couldn't even breathe not knowing if she was fine. "Damn it" I heard as there was a tuck on the door handle. I jumped up and ran to go open it. "Where we you?" I asked as I swung the door open. "Oh now you want to talk?" She scoffed as she walked past me. "Don't do that" I sighed. "Do what? I haven't done anything. Yet you still take it all out on me" she said. "I just needed some time" I told her. "And what about me? I've sat around all day waiting for you to dare come out and talk to me. You are driving me insane!" She shouted as she kept stepping closer.
This girl. I can't believe it. Weeks ago she wouldn't even look at me in the eyes and now she's yelling at me. "I'm driving you crazy?!" I asked as I took one step forward as well. "Yes you are. You show up one day and turn my world upside down. You let me in and then you shut me out for no reason. You make me feel special and then you leave me out like I'm just someone you choose when you want to acknowledge" she said. "Is this really how you felt?" I frowned as all the anger inside of me disappeared. "Of course it is" she sighed. "What are we?" I asked her. "What?" She asked. "Your mother asked us what we are, but I couldn't answer anything because I didn't know myself" I told her. Beth just blinked. She stared at me and didn't move.
"I don't know" she finally said. "What I do now is that I need you here with me. I'm so grateful you're there. It might sound weird since we haven't met that long ago, but you're my best friend, my anchor. You were and still are my escape. You make me see colors I've never been able to see" she admitted. "Come here" I told her as I opened my arms. "I don't know either" I confessed as her whole body was pressed against mine. "But I'm here to stay" I added.
"That's enough for me" she whispered. "Let's go to bed" I told her. "Just one more second" she said as she held on a little tighter. "You big baby" I chuckled as I pulled her legs up before she wrapped them around me.
The question was still unanswered. The words were still unspoken. However, the feelings weren't caged anymore.
Not now, not ever.