Draco Malfoy wasn't easy to impress. Being bored quickly by other people was one reason why he never had many close friends – and yes, he knew how utterly arrogant that sounded. It was the truth however. He was friendly with most of the Slytherins but his mother always taught him "Quality over quantity" and he agreed. Draco went so far as to apply that mindset to his love life as well. Yes, before the sixth year of school, he used to like to flirt and he had dated the occasional Slytherin girl. He was also very aware of the fact that there had been quite a few girls with crushes on him. In some cases, he even reciprocated them, however, those feelings faded quickly.
So you couldn't imagine how much it bothered Malfoy that he wasn't able to stop thinking of you. Not even in his dreams did you leave him alone and so he kept on going back to that evening on the Quidditch field. Until today, it was entirely unclear to him why he told you all those things. He didn't know anything about you yet speaking to you left him feeling ... good, almost. After a year of trials and coming home to find his family and life in shambles, there was no one left to talk to. No one he wanted to talk to. To whom was he going to turn? His friends which were all coming from the same pureblood Death Eater families? Yes, of course, they understood – and also they didn't. Not quite. Did you understand him? Probably not, he guessed. After all, you were a Gryffindor and fought on the right side of the war. The winning side. But talking to you felt different, almost easy. You grew up in another world than him and maybe that was the key to it all.
Obviously, Draco didn't plan on repeating that evening. You were friends with the whole Potter and Weasley bunch. It made it even harder to trust you – how could he be sure you hadn't already told your Gryffindor friends and were laughing about him behind his back? It was possible. A part of him didn't want to believe this possibility and another part reminded him of all the times he was disappointed and got hurt by the people around him. It was probably for the best to stay away from you.
Yet he didn't stop thinking of you. He saw you looking at him in the Great Hall during meals, watched you from walk away when you passed him in hallways and the library. Without noticing it, he always chose a place behind you in class. Draco didn't understand the urge to be close to you. It was utterly ridiculous for Merlin's sake. You were a Gryffindor; one of the good ones. He wasn't. Not at all.
Maybe it was because of the kiss, he wondered at some point. Maybe you hexed him in this moment. Draco knew this theory was very far-fetched but it was the only logical explanation fin his mind. Why else would he keep thinking back to that moment in the storage room? He didn't deny that you were witty and smart and very beautiful – he wasn't blind after all – but so were lots of girls. What the hell was so special about you that you wouldn't leave his thoughts?! It couldn't be your taste in men as you obviously didn't have any. At least there wasn't a reasonable explanation for him for why someone like you would get with someone like the Weasel.
"Draco," Blaise's voice pulled him out of this thoughts. "You coming?"
Draco nodded. "Yeah, just a second."
He got up from the table in their shared dorm, putting his notebook in the drawer of his nightstand. Two months since school started and he had almost filled in all of its pages. Draco started writing during the first trial of his parents last year. It kept him focused and helped him put his thoughts in order. It soon became a daily ritual which helped him stay grounded. Draco carried it around in his bag during the day, using it in between classes and meals. His friends caught him doing it a lot and he was sure they had already guessed what it was. He was glad when they didn't say anything because in the end, Draco would have rather died before admitting that he was using a diary.
"You're not wearing a costume!", Astoria exclaimed when he joined the others in the common room. Pansy, Blaise, Theodore and the Greengrass sisters were already waiting for him.
There was a Halloween party happening in the Room of Requirements tonight and his friends had convinced him to go even though it meant more awkward conversations with Astoria.
"I thought we're not doing muggle traditions. What are you supposed to be?", he asked instead, taking in her revealing outfit.
She giggled. "I'm a healer. Or 'nurse' as the muggles call it."
"Ah," Draco made, thinking that she didn't look like a healer at all. "I thought Halloween was supposed to be scary?"
Astoria rolled her eyes, before linking their arms with each other. "You're no fun. Don't you think I look pretty?"
"Astoria, you can wear a potato sack and still look absolutely stunning."
That answer seemed to satisfy her and they started making their way towards the exit of the common room. Draco glanced at her from the side. She was, objectively speaking, the perfect match for a Malfoy. Coming from a well-respected and wealthy pureblood family combined with her intelligence and beauty, she was everything his parents could have wanted for him. Especially now.
You had told him what to do. It was such a simple solution to all of his impending problems. However, it had been the moment where Draco had realized that you grew up differently. Not a day went by where he didn't receive a heartbreaking letter from his mother. He knew, she just wanted the best for him and she didn't want to manipulate him; she was simply desperate. Desperate for the live they used to have – a husband at home, a son with a promising future, money and a respected place in society.
Draco had asked himself countless times what the marriage would truly mean. His family would have another chance. Together with Astorias family, his future was secured. A good job, maybe even in the ministry if he was lucky. Enough money to take care of his mother. Who knew, maybe his father would be out of Azkaban sooner? Draco marrying Astoria would lessen his families suffering, that was for sure. But did he want that? Did he want a simple and easy solution to make their past crimes ... disappear? His family was far from innocent. They had committed horrible crimes in the name of the Dark Lord – and a part of him knew, they deserved everything they got in the end. Hell, he wouldn't have been surprised if they sent his mother and him to Azkaban as well.
When thinking about the engagement, another thought popped into his head. Could he learn to love Astoria? Would he be happy with her? Maybe. Maybe not. Draco knew only one thing for sure – there was a reason why he kept resisting to the whole idea. Giving in felt like sacrificing another part of himself to something his family had burdened him with.
"And Astoria, I disagree," Blaise once again disrupted his train of thought by joining in from the right. "Draco can quickly make his costume appear. Just roll up your sleeves, Dray, and the Gryffindors will shit their pants on the spot."
The rest of the group snickered but Draco didn't react. Instead he suppressed the urge to touch the mark on his left arm and shoved his hand deeper into the pocket of his pants.
***
The Room of Requirement was absolutely crowded.
The Slytherins were surprised by how many people had actually appeared. Almost everyone from the sixth and seventh grade was here, wearing mostly ridiculous costumes. Music roared from invisible speakers, students were dancing and talking loudly.
"I'm surprised that the teachers didn't already break this up," Blaise almost had to shout. "Or Filch."
Draco shrugged. "I feel like they stopped caring this year."
"Maybe they feel responsible for all those deaths," Theo suggested.
"So to make up for all the trauma, they allow us to party?", Blaise concluded with an amused undertone.
"It's good for us though so stop talking and start drinking," Pansy chirped and grabbed Draco and Theo by their arms, pulling them towards the table with a few questionable bottles.
When his friends started chatting about the usual Hogwarts gossip, Draco's eyes started to wander. He was searching the crowd for someone. You. Were you here? Did you even like parties? Draco had no idea. You always looked quite social from what he witnessed.
And there you were – standing in a group of people, listening to Granger who was gesticulating wildly. You were holding a drink and laughing at whatever the other girl told you. Draco noticed from across the room how your eyes were gleaming, your face red from the alcohol. You looked so careless. He swallowed hard at the sight.
"He's either staring at Weasley, the mudblood or Y/L/N," Zabini said to the others in that moment. "Don't know what's worse."
Draco needed a second to understand his friends were talking about him. "What did you just say?" He turned to them.
Zabini grinned widely at him. "I said, you're staring at the Gryffindors again, Draco. It's fucking weird. What's your sudden obsession with them?"
Draco quickly glanced at the rest of his friends. Daphne, Theodore and Pansy watched the two of you with a smirk on their lips, maybe even suppressing a giggle. Astoria stared at Draco with a worried expression.
"No, what did you just say?", Draco repeated his question, straightening up slightly. "What did you call Granger?"
Blaise snorted. "What?"
Draco just stared at him.
"I called her a mudblood," Blaise gave a half shrug.
"Yeah, what the fuck, Blaise," Draco spat out.
"Come on, Dray," Theodore tried to intervene. "It's no big deal."
"It is!" He looked at him, visibly disgusted.
"What's your problem, Draco?", Blaise raised an eyebrow, shifting from one leg to another. "You called her a mudblood for years and now you suddenly have a problem with it? You're acting so weird this year, seriously."
Before Draco was able to reply, Astoria carefully placed her hand on his arm. It took all the strength he had, not to immediately shake her off. "Come on," she said softly. "Let's get you a new drink and calm down." She pulled him a few steps away from the group.
Draco gritted his teeth, remembering what he had thought about not being able to talk to his old friends. They understood – and also they didn't.
"Are you okay, Draco?" Astoria asked, still looking slightly alarmed.
Draco looked at her. Did she want to hear an honest answer? "Sure," he finally said.
She didn't buy it. "You've been acting strange for a while now."
"I'm really not."
"Draco," she reached for his hand. "I know you."
He sighed and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. "Can we ... can we not talk about this now? Here? With all these people around us?"
"There's always a reason not to talk so we might as well do it here," she pressed on.
Draco could think of a thousand different things he'd rather do than talk to her right now. "I'm ... I'm not acting strange. It's just a lot. With my parents and all that."
Her smile changed from worried to pity. "I understand." Did she? "That's why I think we should move on."
What kind of weird reaction was this? "Move on?", Draco frowned.
"With our engagement."
"Right."
Astoria squeezed his hand. "I don't see why we can't just make it official."
Draco looked at her fingers as if he was searching for a ring that he had forgotten existed. "Because the whole thing isn't official yet," he slowly said.
The brunette let go of his hand. "It's going to happen anyways. My parents won't stop talking about it and I bet it's no different for your mother."
Draco just wanted to get out of this situation. He got dragged here and now it was just one big argument. Why couldn't they have stuck to gossiping and partying? "Why during school though?"
He saw how Astoria stared at the ground for a moment. When she started speaking again, her voice had become a little colder. "You know, there are a lot of men who would jump at this opportunity. My family is well respected and yours is ..."
Draco let out a short whistle. "Thanks, Astoria,"
Astoria was visibly uncomfortable and Draco wondered if she regretted what she had just said. "That's not how I meant it and you know that, Dray. I just don't understand why this takes you so long."
Draco put his hands on hips, pushing his jacket back. "Excuse me if I'm wrong," he started, "But I'm not exactly your first choice either, am I?"
The girl didn't answer right away. When she did though, Draco wanted to laugh at the sheer absurdity. "It's not about what I want. It's about what my parents want. Pureblood marriages will happen less and less in the future so we will be a good union."
"Right," Draco mumbled with a sad smile. It's all about the family.
Astoria cleared her throat. "Well, are there any reasons why we shouldn't move on?"
"Yes, there are."
This didn't come from Draco or Astoria. Irritated by the sudden interruption, he turned around to see who had so rudely eavesdropped on the conversation.
You.
***
A/N: Thank you for reading <3