The silence was typically so loud!
It was restless and spinning around Nile's third floor apartment's vacant living room. The oak walls had worn the sad, stiff, gloomy air. Too burdensome to breath in. The herbal tea had lost it's steaminess long ago, now it's replaced with the same cold ambient. Two of her slim fingers still tapping the lip of the dainty cup faintly. She was sitting in the chair, leaning her head on the desk, numb.
The prevailing wind kept coming and going through the window with such hollowness, stirred the white silk curtain every now and then with it's each blows. Her hollow gaze fixed upon the window sill. She could still remembered those happy memories of the lazy weekends buried among the window sill.
🍂
Naturally, it's a warm Sunday weekend. A lazy weekend I should say. The blue sky was so bright with the assisted sun. The road outside was lightly busy. There was a woody fragrance lingering in the fresh air assisting my man's favourite fruity spiced fragrance which possibly touched by the wild rose's wet sprinkles. However, my nostrils were blessed that's all I knew and so was my lungs. The gust of the warm wind brushing my skin as we sat there, on the window sill.
Apparently, he was sitting on the sill while my lazy frame was wrapped around his torso just like a koala who was enjoying the beguiling warmth radiating from her boyfriend's perfect carriage while she was enjoying his intoxicating graze through her scalp.
Approximately, his fine slender fingers were busy combing my ruffled hair in silent. To add more peace to the quietness he started humming through the rhythm. Helped me to get molten more. There was no emptiness could be felt in the silence; the silence was something so blessed, so soothing, so appreciative.
I saw a little girl walked along the concrete path with a fair young woman beside her who possibly her mom, was holding a small pink floral basket. The little girl looked so happy! Something definitely happened good with her and I could feel it from here.
On the spur of the moment, I saw a brown kitty peeked out it's tiny head and peeped outside through the small gap in the basket. That's freaking adorable! I couldn't help but giggled at it. No doubt, it was the reason behind her exquisite happiness. She got a new kitty! Which must be a gift from her mom. And the way the pretty lady smiled warmly at her cheerful daughter it was just nothing but a freaking heartwarming scene adding to my admiration for the mesmerizing cityscape.
Wait, she had dimples!
"What are you giggling at?" Hobi asked me casually, still roaming his fingertips all over my scalp.
I immediately drew back and looked into his eyes with a sharp face. Studying my sudden whisk along with the weird look on my face he stared at me quizzically.
"What?"
"Smile."
"What?"
"I said smile."
"But why so sudden-"
"Hmph!"
"Okay okay."
He couldn't refuse my demand and moreover, he knew it very well that what I was up to. So without any further bickering he did accordingly as I demanded. And there, the cute little dimples flickered.
The adoring dimples made such precious valleys right over the both sides near to his upper lip as he smiled closed. And my heart just jumped up with pure delicacy. But my naughtiness made my lips parted to relish them right away. They're too unresisting for me! His river smile didn't sink as I started patching the deep wells with my constant pecks. Holding me so close to his chest he enjoyed every planting kisses of mine on him.
He was so used to it and I was so desperate for it as if I lived for it, for him.
As I was done with my territories I pulled myself back and again looked into his umber shiny eyes. They were so calm and serene. His face was gleaming with the softest sun rays. His warm hand slowly trailed up to my cheek and cupped it afterwards. Finding the quivering warmth against my derm I leaned into it more as his eyes speaking a spec of sadness.
"I'm gonna miss you."
The words fell off his lips. Well, I had a trip to Incheon for one week and it was a dance competition. Which meant no way we could be able to meet nor spend much time over phone calls or anything. Indeed, it wasn't going to be less harder for me to stay away from him for a goddamn week without annoying him nor being taken care of. But I wasn't that cliche type like those silly, lame, overreacting girlfriends, who would've started whining or doing what not god knows!
"Mmm well, I'm not gonna miss you at all."
I mischievously crossed my hands over my chest and fixed my gaze outside the window. With the corner of my eye, I saw his brows quaked with blurry disbelief. I knew he would react this way which of what I wanted to make sure. I internally smirked getting the preferable reaction from him.
"Really?"
"Yup."
I sanguinely shook my head. But to my surprise, within a split second his lips uprised a bit, he bit his inner lip and smirked back at me. Then in another swift it replaced with a blank portrait. It's an absolute tease! And that's too fast and too hot for me to catch up for sure!
"Okay get off."
Another attack of his sudden change from a sweet one to a stern one. Before he could literally stand up from the sill and got rid of me I technically clutched on to his shoulders more tightly, like a super glue.
"No!"
"You said you're not going to miss me, so get off."
"No no no! I'll miss you I'll miss you I swear!"
"I don't believe you."
"Nooo! I WILL MISS YOU! Trust me!"
"I don't."
I knew he was doing it purposely just to annoy me. And he was succeeded, no offense. Besides, I got annoyed as hell. I pulled myself back again with an angry mode. My nose must be fairing like a volcano right now, but I didn't care.
"So you think I'm not gonna miss you huh?"
He nodded nonchalantly without looking at me. His hands were no longer holding me. I was losing my temper like crazy. I took his face between my index and thumb, and squeezed his cheeks a little bit harder just to vent my anger.
"If I'm not gonna miss you then who will spam you with tons of messages, tons of phone calls? Who will ask you if you're having your meal on time or not? Who will remind you to receive the mails? Tell me WHO?"
His squeezed face was poorly suffering in my firm grasp yet he didn't budge nor try to move my hand off of him. Additionally, his blinking eyes were fixed upon me and listening to my blazing utterance quietly.
"And who will threaten me to the death just to keep a hundred meter distance from Jangmi. Right?"
He blubbered through his squished lips. I was taken aback for the moment as he addressed the name which didn't take enough time to set my whole body on fire.
Jangmi was a member of their hip-hop section, who was a complete whore to me. Who was always lay in wait for a perfect shot to get closer to Hobi, to swallow his all attention, to lure him over with her typical sensational activities which never brought her any succeed though. I was never afraid of her fucking tactics which was nothing but pure failures yet it always left me with pesky headaches.
"Don't you fucking dare to speak a single word with her, or else-"
"I WON'T! Now would you like to have some mercy on me?"
He urged me to let go his poor mouth. I quickly withdrew my hand from his cheeks which was now gleaming in red. He began to rub the stinging cheeks with his hands. His painful view got me so ashamed. I slowly put my hands over his as he looked into mine again.
"I'm sorry. But you know I don't like that bitch, not at all. She's just always try to get you into her pants and, and this is just make me feel like, murder her straight."
He chuckled lightly as his hand found my cheek again and cupped it along my jaw.
"I know that very well babe."
I looked up at him through my down norm. His face was written in a bundle of priceless joy and the fleck of love and reassurance was all that keep my anxiety low, keep all the anguish out of my system. He was the love that always accompanied me to be myself the way I am, the way I want to be.
The wave of sadness radiating inside me as well as the splash of overwhelming happiness whirling through. Undoubtedly he could feel it. He smiled softly before taking my face into his two hands. The hands of reassurance, resilience and profound devotion. Of course I wasn't crying but my nerves had long left my angerness, the captiveness.
"Your heart is safe with me, so is mine. Don't worry about them, they're just some temporary guests in our lives, who will get bored by the time. So why waste our time on such people hm? Let's enjoy our moments. After all, it's you and me in the end."
🍂
Knock!
Knock!
Knock!
Her solemn mind dragged up by the treble knock on the door. A teardrop slouched by the crook of her left eye down to her nose bridge as she sat up. Wiping the stain from the skin she looked side to side for her crutches. They were leaning against right by the desk. Leaning on the crutches, she went to open the door with an imperceptible limb.
Right when she opened the door, the unexpected visitors got her totally confounded. It was Mrs. Park with Mei standing at her back with a dubious look on her face. Mrs. Park looked so far different than her daily gorgeous face beneath the piled up makeups. Neither any boastfulness nor any flicker of ravenous desire for success could be shown but the repentance screaming on her bare face.
"Mam?" Nile felt unprepared for her appearance yet she tried to get herself together and welcomed them inside anyway.
"Please come, come in."
The hesitancy was clear. As soon as they entered the room Mei overdrew an apologetic look to Nile on the way of getting inside. Nile didn't react to this. She locked the door behind and walked slowly to demonstrate a positive sincerity.
"Please sit mam."
Mrs. Park darted her eyes to Nile. She nodded falteringly and sat down on the spacious greyish sofa. Mei sat down on the opposite. The atmosphere was mixed with pure silence and of awkwardness.
"What would you like to have mam? Umm hot or-"
"How's your leg Nile?"
She cut off her in mid-sentence and looked up at her. The remorsefulness was obvious and so was the urgency in her trembling tone.
"It's good. I mean better than yesterday I guess."
Nile felt a little hesitated to talk with her. It wasn't the bond they shared between them and it somehow pained her which she couldn't do anything about it.
"Please sit beside me, I really want to talk with you."
Nile was astounded by her eager insisting. Mrs. Park was beyond distressed which couldn't let Nile turn away further. Following it, Nile let herself seated beside her, hesitant. A grievous sigh left Mrs. Park's mouth as she took Nile's hand in hers and looked up at her.
"Can you forgive me?"
The words stumbled on her lips. Her eyes were eager for forgiveness. Her sudden pleading terribly shocked Nile. Mei on the other side witnessing everything holding on to her breathe.
"Mam-"
"I know, I know I'm a forever worst coach, who almost sent her own disciple to the death just because of success, fame, name." She looked up at her again, tears were forming in her ocean blue eyes.
"I never wished to see you suffer like this Nile, I never wanted to use you as a passable for my unethical desire! This was never my intention. I never got to be the best coach throughout my entire career. And it made me get so bitter day by day without my own realization! But when I first saw you, trust me I knew it that you're the one. I saw the ignition into you, which ignited my hunger for success even more!"
"I forgot what is benevolence, what is patience, every possible positivity just left me! And I kept training you like a machine of success! But I was too caught up with the want of being the best of all that it never crossed my mind that, that could almost cost someone's life!"
"It took me so long to get to realize that, this is not the way to earn victory, in fact nothing! I was being so selfish all this time. And now, I feel so guilty. Too guilty to see my own reflection on the mirror!"
She firmed her grip more and hovered over to their intertwined hands. Her tears were relentless as they kept gliding down her cheeks to chin.
"I'm really so-rry! If you don't forgive me, I don't know if I could ever do it to myself!"
Nile's heart painfully hurt to see her coach rending into pieces in front of her eyes. How she let the guilt completely engulf her into a void that she held on to her so tight and pleading like a child.
"Mam please don't! Please don't say such things! It wasn't only you who was chasing after the success forgetting everything around you. I was also running in the same race. Which brought me nothing but eternal unhappiness, emptiness."
Her throat fluttered, eyes blurring from the salt water. Mrs. Park stared up at her, dismantled.
"But you know what mam, if this all disaster did a good thing even if it's small, then this is this realization of our mistakes. And I appreciate it with my whole heart. Maybe it took us so long, almost cost me to the death, but I can't deny what it brings."
Her each words held so much gratitude and clarity that was enough for Mrs. Park to get all dazed.
"So please don't make me feel ashamed of asking for forgiveness, please! You're not only my coach. I've always considered you as my icon. I just don't want to acknowledge our bond only between profession or career anymore, I just want it to be real. That's all I now ask for."
Mrs. Park was lost out of words. Her heart stung seeing her utmost devotion for her. Without saying anything she pulled her into her motherly embrace. The waging war of Nile's heart eased a bit, though it's a bit but it felt quite good to feel a motherly warmth against her.
After pulling away from the untainted affection Mrs. Park pulled out an sparkling object from the core of her handbag. It was the Swan Crest. She smiled warmly at her then lavishing it into her hands.
"It's all yours."
Nile's chin quivered as the tears escaped her smiling eyes and rolling down her face. Mrs. Park cupped her face with one hand as her lips curled up in a soft gleam.
"Now you take care of this, okay?" Nile couldn't help but nodded along through the obscures.
"Mei?"
Mei who was also feeling the exhilaration through her racing heart with the teary eyes.
"Y-yes mam?"
"Thank you so much for leading me the way down here."
"No, no it's nothing mam. I mean, since we're good and so is everything, that's all that matters right now. Right?"
"Yup! We're a family now."
Mrs. Park felt like an unknown heavy weigh seemed to move away from her chest. She felt like being alive again, a purity of being revived from the depth of her soul.
"Nile, if you need any kind of help or just anything, don't hesitate to call me away. Okay? And take care of yourself."
"I will."
The sultry air seemed to be faded away and the contentment spread all across the corner of the room. Later on, Mrs. Park took her departure from Nile's apartment with a fresh, contented heart. As soon as she left, Nile closed the door and eventually the rejoice shutting down with tremors. And once again, slowly the dark clouds began to enshrouded her with great melancholy.
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