18. Wrong Idea
Danielle.
Turns out neither Perrie nor Samantha could come over today. Samantha wasn't feeling well, and neither was Perrie. Liam said he'd call me when he had thought about everything, and he hasn't. I've been clutching my iPhone for the past two weeks for nothing. I bet he decided that I don't matter and Olivia is his no. 1 priority.
The kids are sleeping over at Niall's apartment tonight with Mason. Therefore, giving me the night off. Madison got a tummy-ache today at breakfast, so Niall might take her home if she feels like she's going to throw-up. I hate it when my kids are sick. I don't like seeing them hurt.
My phone buzzed, making me jump. I quickly removed the phone from my back-pocket and looked at the brightened screen. A message from Mum.
Mum: Hello my Danielle. Want to arrange to meet for lunch sometime this week with the children? I was thinking we could take them to McDonalds to play.
Danielle: The kids are in school at lunch-time now, Mum. I could bring Megan, but I'm going to be quite busy this week getting all the Halloween decorations out. Max has been nagging me about it for months already, and it's only the end of September. Maybe some other time. Love u.
I put the phone back in my pocket in discouragement. I was hoping it would be Liam. I really want to know what he's been thinking about. Maybe, just maybe, Liam will dump Olivia and join back into my, Max, Madison and Megan's lives. That'd be a miracle in itself. Its crazy how much I'm missing him...
*
I danced around the kitchen while making chocolate chip cookies. Max and Mads love cookies, and the kids love having them in their school lunches. I have a Best Of Disney CD blasting from Madison's pink CD player in the corner. Right now Let It Go is playing.
I've already listened to I'll Make A Man Out Of You from Mulan, Happy Working Song from Enchanted, Whistle While We Work from Snow White, Part Of Your World from The Little Mermaid, When Will My Life Begin from Tangled, and You Got A Friend In Me from Toy Story.
I dumped some chocolate chips into the batter, and then dumped the rest of the bag into my mouth. I put the empty bag down on the counter, picked up the light blue mixer, and began stirring the batter around. After a few minutes, I swallowed the dozens of chocolate chips and turned off the mixer.
I put it down carefully on the counter-top, before dragging my finger through the freshly-mixed cookie dough. I lifted my finger to my mouth, licking off the delicious dough. Smiling, I bent over to grab a metal cookie-tray from the cupboard below the sink. I dug around until I found the right tray.
Standing up, I put the pan onto the counter. I spread some butter over the tray so that the cookies wouldn't stick to it. I picked up a table-spoon and began putting little balls of dough onto the tray, spacing them out evenly. After the tray was covered, I put on my oven-mitts and put the cookies into the oven.
Once I'd put all the dirty dishes in the sink, I turned off the CD player, and walked into the living room. I flopped down on the sofa, and turned on the TV. I pulled a soft blanket over my legs and decided I'd watch some Ellen Degeneres, laughing at all her jokes.
My mind wandered for a while, wondering what it would be like if I had a talk-show where I got to hang out with celebrities and play fun games. Maybe I should consider that for the future... Haha, no. I have my dancing, and I have the kids to take care of. They're my number 1 priority. Since Liam won't make them his number 1 priority, I definitely have to. The kids have to be somebodies no. 1 priority.
After about 12 minutes, the oven buzzed. I climbed up and took the cookies back out of the oven. I put them on the counter, and waited for them to cool down before dropping each cookie into the glass cookie jar. Smiling, I put the jar on the counter. Looks perfect. And Max and Mads will definitely love it.
I took the lid off the jar, and took out two cookies. Of course, as a Mother, I must taste the cookies before I let my children eat them. They could be poisonous. I'm only looking out for my precious children. I easily popped one of the cookies into my mouth, chewing it carefully. Delicious.
I cleaned up all the cookie items, such as flour, sugar, chocolate chips, eggs, vanilla extract etcetera. I climbed onto the counter to put the flour on the very top shelf. Then I placed the sugar on the shelf beside it. Once everything was clean and tided up, I went back to the sofa to relax.
I picked at my white sofa, while Ellen talked with Jennifer Lopez. I pulled out my iPhone went it vibrated. It was a text-message from the one and only Niall Horan. It read: Madison wants to come home cuz she is feeling sick. I will drive her home. I replied: Okay, thx Niall. See u soon.
After that, I went onto twitter, and followed back a few fans. My phone vibrated again, indicating another message. I tapped the iMessage icon, and waited for the message to load. When it finally loaded, I was able to see that it was from Liam. I gasped quietly, shocked that he finally replied.
My brown eyes quickly scanned over the five-line long message, heart-rate accelerating with each word I read. This message is going to determine the kids' and my futures. It determines whether the kids have an involved Father in their lives. This is a very important message. My eyebrows slowly furrowed, and my face scrunched into a sad expression when I finished reading the message. It read:
I just can't do this. I'm so sorry. I know this is hard... I'll always love you But there's someone else I can't get off my mind. I just can't deal with us at the moment
That's the moment when my heart shattered.
Liam.
I've been thinking a lot over the past couple of weeks. A whole lot. I think I want to be back in Danielle's life, but I don't want to give up Olivia. I know Danielle won't let me be with the kids if I still have Liv by my side. I think Olivia and I have to take a short break. Then Dani will let me back into the children's lives. Our* children's lives. Then, after I'm back in the kids lives, Olivia and I will stop taking a break.
I slid my iPhone out of my pocket, and opened the iMessage app. I sat down on my edge of the sofa while I thought about what I should say in the message. I'm not going to let Liv know about my plan, but I'm sure she'll catch on. She's pretty smart. Finally, I decided on this.
I just can't do this. I'm so sorry. I know this is hard... I will always love you But there's someone else I cant get off my mind. I just can't deal with us at the moment
When I felt satisfied with the message, I read it over to check for any errors. When I fixed all the spelling mistakes, I began typing in Olivia's number. When I was about to select her contact, my front door knocked. I quickly hit Olivia's contact, and hit send. Then I closed the app and turned off my phone.
I sat up and walked towards the door, pulling it open. It was a 40-ish year old man. "Hullo," He said, nodding slightly. "Hi..." I trailed off, furrowing my eyebrows. "Are you Alexander Ryan?" He asked, cocking his head to the left. I stared at his dapper grey suit and clean-shaven face as I shook my head.
"No... I think you have the wrong apartment." I told him, leaning on the wooden door-frame casually. "Oh, well I'm sorry to have bothered you, sir." He apologized, nodding again and turning around. "No problem," I replied awkwardly, standing up straight and closing the door behind him.
That was random and odd... Oh well. All that matters is that the message went to Olivia, and now I can try to re-build a relationship with my children.
Danielle.
I sobbed uncontrollably. I'm not even going to lie. Tears streamed down my face as I wailed into the empty apartment. The tears dripped onto my light-yellow sweat-pants. I coughed, throat getting sore from my passionate cry. You never know how badly you want something until you can't have it.
I was fine not having Liam around. But when he said he'd consider re-joining the kids' and my life, I was relieved. Max, Madison and Megan were finally going to have their Father. A male role model in their lives. But I guess I was wrong. All I have to offer the kids is an emotional mother.
I smacked over an orange & apple bowl that had been on the counter. The fruits flew across the apartment. Down the hall, into the living room, and into the dining room. I kicked the stupid wooden side-table from beside the sofa, which knocked over a blue, glass lamp. The lamp shattered on the ground. The glass shards flew across the hard-wood floor in all directions. Frustrated, I kicked the side-table again.
I sulked over to the wall, and leaned my forehead on it. I also pressed my hands to the wall, smacking it a few times. I then slid down the wall in the living room, until my butt hit the ground. I covered my eyes with my hands, sobbing into my palms. I hate that I can't give my children what they deserve. What they need. I don't know whey I gave Liam the benefit of the doubt in this situation. I should have known he wouldn't follow through. I should I known that Olivia was number 1 in his life. I should have know. I should have know he didn't care.
My sobs got louder, and my face got wetter. I sniffled loudly, before letting out an angry squeal. I put my face in my knees, and began rocking back and forth. My arms wrapped around my legs, keeping my body wrapped in a ball. I heard a few noises by the front door, but decided it was just the cats.
Why can't my life be easy? Why can't the kids' lives be easy? All I want is a good life for my kids. Max Ethan. Madison Jane. Megan Hope. God, you can do anything in the world to me. I just want a full, happy life for my children. Please God. I'll do anything for my children.
Madison.
"Thank-you Uncle Niall for the ride home," I said, smiling up at him. His blonde and brown hair was all scruffy and messy because I woke him up to take me home. "No problem, Maddie. I hope you feel better soon." Uncle Niall smiled at me. "Are you sure you're okay to head up to your apartment by yourself? Do you know your apartment number?" Uncle Niall asked, standing next to me by the elevator.
"I'll be okay, Uncle Niall. I'm a big girl. And yes, I do know my apartment number." I assured him. He smiled, ruffling my hair. "I'll see you later, squirt." He said, turning around. "Bye!" I yelled, waving. He laughed, pushing the door to go outside. I began tapping my foot and having a thumb-war with myself while I waited for the elevator to come down to the lobby. When it arrived, one lady climbed out.
I stepped inside the pretty decorated elevator, and pushed the button for our floor. Haha! Now I don't have to fight with my annoying brother about who gets to push the elevator button. I bet he's so jealous. The doors closed, and I began moving up to our floor. I'm the only one in the elevator. Its like my own, cute, little, bedroom. My tummy really hurts, and I feel like I might vomit. So I wanted to go home to my own bed.
Now my very pretty Mom can give me feel-better snuggles and medicine. Maybe she will make me warm soup and we can watch a movie together on the sofa. I sat down on the elevator floor, while it moved up. I don't like the weird feeling the elevator gives me when it's moving up or down. Especially when my tummy is hurting like this. Its making my tummy hurt even more then it did, before.
Finally, after a long ride, the elevator reached the right floor. I stood up with my backpack in my hand, and stepped out of the elevator. I began walking down to our door. I unzipped my pink backpack as I walked, and took out my house-key that Mum gave me. She said it might come in handy.
I re-put my backpack on, and put the key into the door. When I was about to turn the lock, I heard really loud cries from inside our apartment. I stopped messing with the key, and pressed my ear to the door. Someone is crying. Loudly. Its probably Mum... She's been upset a whole lot lately.
I can't bother her with my stomach-ache. Apparently she's not feeling well, either. I'll just go to bed. I slowly turned the key, trying to stay quiet. I pushed the door open, and stepped inside onto the welcome mat. The first thing I was a broken lamp in pieces by the coffee-table. Mum probably knocked it down.
Then I saw a bowl of oranges and apples spilled over the ground. My eyes flicked around the room, until I saw Mum leaning against the living room wall in her sweat-pants and pink t-shirt that Max and I made her for Mothers Day last year with the help of Auntie Eleanor and Uncle Louis.
Mum was wrapped in a little ball. Her head was between her knees, and she was rocking back and forth. She was having choke-cries. I put my backpack on the ground, making a little thud sound. Mum didn't even notice. I quietly closed the front door behind me, and kicked off my boots.
I looked at Mum again. Her hair was in all directions. Her body was surrounded by pieces of the lamp. I felt tears well up in my own eyes. I hate seeing Mum when she's hurt and sad. It seems she has been upset a lot lately... I hope I didn't do anything to make her sad. I stood there for a few moments, staring at my Mother. She is such a good Mum, but I don't think she knows it. I need to do something special for her.
Hello loves! Made this chapter longer for you all.
Its 2600 words, which isn't my goal, but getting there!
Q: Ideas for Madison's surprise? Favourite POV? Comments in general? Haha!
Love you! A xo
♡