Dominique's POV
I walked up to my front step as Nate followed up behind me. I turned around fumbling with my keys as he stood there rocking on his feet.
"You really gonna help me out, even though I don't deserve it?", he said as I just nodded.
"Even though you don't deserve it...I would want you to know exactly what you want so you won't be confused anymore. And to prevent anything like our situation happening to anyone else."
"Or to you yourself?", he walked closer as I took a step back.
"You're saying that as if I would give you a chance. Just because I want to help you figure out yourself doesn't promise anything for us. I just---I think being alone or at least not with you is best for me. Although I know I still feel for you."
"If you feel for me then give me a chance and I'll take it for real this time. One chance please?", he leaned in closer as I hesitated before pushing on his chest.
"I'll see you around school Nate. Have a good night."
I unlocked the front door and slammed the door shut walking into the kitchen with a upset groan. I have stupid bullshit feelings for that nigga still and I don't know what to do. I genuinely wanna help him because he needs some guidance but I also don't want to get caught up with him. Everything not guaranteed and it could go left at one point.
"I need a fucking drink!", I ran upstairs into my parent's room and right into their closet. I don't think they know we know about this stash but of course I do. I took a bottle of something---don't know what it is but then again who cares? I walked into my room and unscrewed the bottle pouring it into a cup. I laid down on my bed whining, I need a second opinion.
"Bitch this better be good, I had to turn off Rupaul and deny a booty call," Ara walked in the door looking as bummy as ever, crocs and all. He is really something else.
"I agreed to help Nate out with his sexual identity problems," once I said it Ara stopped in his tracks turning around with an incredulous look.
"The lies you tell, are you serious Dominique Nile Gates? Getting involved with him again is not good in any circumstance! Let him figure that stuff out himself, I think he's plotting," he sat down on the couch pointing to the seat next to him with a sassy look.
"I'm just trying to help him out with this out of the goodness of my own heart. Ain't no feelings getting arranged in the situation because I know how it will turn out for me cause it ain't turn out too good the first time." I twisted my fingers as Ara sighed rubbing my back.
"Even though it's my job as a bestfriend to let you know you're going into a bad lane, I think I don't have much to say from what I've ever told you before. You know how he is so the only thing I'll repeat is be careful. Also to know that there are plenty of other guys who'll actually do right from the get-go. Keep it in mind when you with him."
I nodded as I put my head in his lap, "Of course. I'm gonna keep my guard up and not let it falter."
"This is cliché as hell so we both know that's going to hell but keep those hopes up babe," he chuckled as I hit his leg laughing with him.
"I just don't want to be the one with my feelings hurt anymore. I want him to hurt too but then again that's just not in me as a person to wish that type of pain on someone. It just hurts different y'know?", I looked up as I saw that look that I wished I didn't see all the time, "I'm sorry Ari."
"It's fine. I can relate and you know why. I feel that type of hurt nearly on a daily basis but I might be a little bit of a worse case. I'm still in love with the guy who I'm not so sure loves me back at least not in the way I think."
I watched as Ara scoffed shaking his head, a tear falling down from his eye. He solemnly chuckled wiping it away quickly, sniffling.
"You know it's okay to cry around me. Talk to me," I leaned my head on his shoulder as he did the same on my head.
"Kamar really leads me on and like a fool--- I take the bait. He's an entirely different person behind closed doors or when we're around your whole family and it's just us! Then he doesn't pretend like he's paying attention to me like when Lexi is around, he actually focuses on me and the weird conversations I like to have about my favorite gamer or sock brand. He shows me a person no one has ever seen before that doesn't hesitate to even peck my cheek in public. Out here...he ain't someone I know," I listened as I watched his face change back and forth from angry to adoration and then sadness.
"But you love him and can't let him go."
"Never. Known him too long and been too invested in him way more than I should've to just let him go. I want a relationship with him but I think I might be in that down low scene."
"You're telling me...I can't get out of it. It's just bull that they would mess with our feelings like this. I got you though bitch, no matter how low it gets," I held his hand as he squeezed mine grinning slightly.
"Forever and always bitch.
Ara's POV
Groaning slightly, I turned on my bedside lamp still hearing that annoying tapping noise. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and turned to the direction it was coming from seeing Kamar out on my fire escape. I turned off the light ignoring him trying to get comfortable in my bed again.
I could handle the tapping for a few minutes until it became angering and I pulled off my covers storming over to the window. I lifted it staring him down, "Why are you on my fire escape at nearly two in the morning?"
I watched as he came closer trying to get in the window but I pushed him back as he made a confused face at me, "Let me in Ara, stop playing. I'm too tired to drive all the way back home and ion want to crash."
"I'm not letting you in. You can sleep in your car if that's the case," I tried to close the window but he pushed it up inviting himself in. I'm an angry person in general and right now he is seriously pissing me off. The talk with Dom earlier tonight is still on my mind as well. I pushed his back as he stumbled turning around with a sneer.
"Not for it tonight, don't play and get your feelings hurt."
"You've already hurt my feelings and I did nothing to deserve it so mission accomplished right?", I retorted back as he rolled his eyes sitting down at the edge of my bed.
"What shit you talking about now---hurting your feelings? I ain't done shit last time I checked!", I covered his mouth slapping his shoulder.
"My parents are asleep and if they found you in here, you're done for. They already don't like you."
"Because I'm black as fuck, nothing I ain't hear before," he chuckled laying back with his arms under his head.
"No, it's not because you're black. It's because you can be an ass especially when you ignore my existence in the presence of one of your little girls."
"This that shit about Lexi again? You gotta chill out with that, so what if I'm feeling lil shawty---that ain't got nothing to do with you Ara. You gotta understand your place."
I felt like I've been hit in the stomach with a fucking boulder. I just wanna throw up at his idiotic words that he dared to utter in my face. It has nothing to do with me yet you're with me almost all the time and that ain't all what it feels like. Those small kisses are nothing then too, is what it feels like he's saying to me. All those conversations and intimate moments of just being in each other's arms just holding one another has gone to shit!
"I gotta understand my place. As what? What place do you see me being in Kamar cause right now I feel like it's the side piece. It's the other until you see number one when you get a chance. That's how you feel? That's the type of shit you're gonna say to me and expect me to chill out about it?", I pushed his shoulder back as he sat up.
"You ain't no side piece because we aren't nothing Ara! How many times we gotta discuss this?!", he squeezed my arms standing up as I fought to get out his grip.
"You're a fucking liar and deceiver! I can't believe you and this flip flop bullcrap you keep playing at. All you do is make me feel special and loved and everything else until she shows up! Just a few days ago you were kissing on my neck and you told me you love me----what type of person does that and turns it around in an instant so quickly?! Like it didn't meaning nothing to you!", I constantly hit him and hit him and it still didn't feel like enough. I feel more than the pain I'm inflicting on him from my balled fists.
"Ara, I love you but I don't fuck with you like that! Stop acting like we something cause we not and ain't ever gonna be!"
My anger just boiled and I hit him across the face. He fell on my bed with a groan as I got on top of him just punching his forearms as he covered up his face, "You fuck with my feelings and I'm gonna fuck you up! You piece of shit, you led me on!", he grabbed my wrists in the air as he flipped us over trying to keep them from flying out of his grip.
"STOP!", he yelled in my face as I broke down sobbing. I tugged my wrists back holding my face. He doesn't have the audacity to see not a single tear even glisten under the light. I pulled them down though so he can see the hurt in my eyes.
"I hate you. I hate you so much and I hate myself even more because I can even hear myself and hear my tone and know it's not true. Because my heart doesn't allow me to hate you...it loves you too much even though you do me so wrong. You know that you put me on a pedestal and give me the time of day you don't with everyone else. But you deny it so hard trying to uphold an image that won't fucking matter...won't even last long. Just answer me one question....is there something wrong with me?"
He looked down at me with a look that I can't quite measure. All I could say is he looked somewhat in surprise or awe---couldn't exactly tell. His hand brushed my hair out of my face as I turned my face shaking my head.
"There isn't anything wrong with you. Has never been and I'm sorry if you've been feeling like that for the longest."
"Does she have something better than me? Or is it just because of something so inferior as my gender?", I turned back to see him sighing and lifting off me. I felt cold air sneak on my legs and got self conscious about what I was wearing, just a long shirt and some boxers. I got my answer which was just silence and frustratedly pulled back my hair.
"Get out."
"Ara, we need to talk about this. I can't leave you like this--", he tried to touch my arm but I placed my hands out. I'm not even comfortable with being in the same vicinity as him.
"Before I say something I really regret and one of us might end up in the hospital and it isn't gonna be me. Leave now, get in your car, and go home. You feel like you might crash then just walk but you have to get...the fuck...outta here. Now Kamar," I pointed to the window as he sighed walking up to me again.
"You wanna know something? Yes, I do love you and yes I love you in the same way you love me. But I also like her and I know it fucking hurts you to hear it but sometimes I just feel embarrassed as hell when I'm with you. I feel like I'm being judged all the time when we're out together or in school or something and I don't feel like that when I'm with her. I don't feel suffocated by opinions or what someone gotta say with her. I sound like a complete dick but it's how I feel!"
I nodded and it's all I could do. I didn't trust my voice. I just felt like I couldn't think at the moment. It's like nothing is there right now. I feel like something is wrong though, absolutely nothing is coming to mind.
"Ara, what's wrong? You look like you spacing out," I could hear him but I couldn't. His touch on my back was faint too.
I clenched his shirt and tried to pull him towards me as my tastebuds picked up on that familiar metallic. It felt like my body was gonna lock up and I just gasped out as fast as I could, "Catch me", I could see the ceiling going higher and my eyes just closed.
What do you think is going become of Dominique and his situation? Also what could be happening to Ara?
Dominique?
Ara?
Kamar?
❤️