The next time Callie saw Talia, she was going to kick her ass.
She couldn't believe she'd looked at Oscar's crotch. Who did that? And to make matters worse, he saw her look. To say things had been awkward between them since they left her apartment would be a massive understatement. It was only a matter of time before he demanded an explanation and he had a right to one, too. She'd practically assaulted him with her eyes. He probably felt the need to go and scrub himself down.
Trying to avoid the subject for as long as possible as they exited the subway station and walked towards Macy's, she casually inquired, "Have you heard from Princess Perky?"
"No," he replied a little absentmindedly. "Why?"
"Do you miss her?"
"I'm not crying into my pillow at night if that's what you're worried about." He shot her a glance from the corner of his eye. "Why?"
Callie shrugged a shoulder. "Just curious."
They continued walking, the lack of their usual ease with each other making her more aware of his presence than usual. He wasn't much taller than her when she wore heels, but in sneakers the extra five inches was more noticeable. She was more aware of his proportions, too. The width of his shoulders, the breadth of his chest. Oscar was always solid rather than chunky but now he looked lean. Had he lost weight?
"You didn't like her," he said.
"Doesn't matter what I thought."
"That's not true and you know it."
"I never pay any attention to what you think about the guys I date," she countered.
"And look where it's got you."
Ouch.
The next time she glanced at him, he had his head tilted back and was focused on the strip of cloudless sky between the tall buildings in a way which suggested he was pleading for patience from above. He drew in a long breath which lifted his chest beneath the material of his charcoal sweater while the light enhanced the vivid blue of his eyes and made the contrast with his thick, dark lashes more noticeable.
She'd always thought he had nice eyes.
"I'm sorry," he said. "That was harsh."
"True, though."
The silence returned as they continued walking, adopting the typical New Yorker attitude of sticking to a straight line, forcing everyone else to get out of the way. Places to go, people to see, no time to stop and take in any of the iconic sights. It was an indication of how far they'd come since they moved to the city.
After another couple of minutes, Oscar sighed heavily. "You gonna tell me what's going on at any point or are we spending the rest of the day trying to avoid it?"
"There's not –" She made the mistake of looking at him again and, in doing so, missed what was right in front of her.
Oscar's automatic reaction was to reach out and lay a palm on the inward curve of her spine to guide her around the obstacle. She barely noticed what it was – a pushchair, perhaps? – as her increased awareness of him added weight and warmth to his touch. She jumped as the latter seeped through her T-Shirt and into her veins, and the tell-tale action made her startled gaze fly to his as they both stilled.
His arm dropped to his side. Then he frowned and turned towards her.
"Okay, that's it," he said firmly. "We're not moving from here 'til you tell me what's going on."
Callie angled her head. "He might have something to say about that."
There was a guy dressed as the Statue of Liberty standing on a box beside them, a tin for tips at his feet.
Oscar reached into his pocket, produced ten bucks and waggled it in front of the guy's face.
"I'm renting this spot for a few. This should cover it." He dropped the money in the tin and pinned Callie in place with a sharp gaze. "You're up. Start talking."
She shifted her weight from one sneaker clad foot to the other. "It's nothing, really."
"It's something. You've been checking me out. You never check me out. And don't deny it. I'm not blind."
Where to begin? As she searched for the right place, she looked up and caught sight of an amused smile twitching the corner of a silver painted mouth.
"We're not the show here, Mister," she warned the so-called entertainer. "Keep eavesdropping and I'm taking his ten bucks back."
"Stop stalling," Oscar's voice said.
She pressed her lips together to stop anything slipping out before she had time to rehearse it in her head. Oscar being Oscar, he would undoubtedly list all the pitfalls the girls had pointed out in her plan. But she'd won them round and there'd been three of them.
"Callie," Oscar said on a note of impatience.
"Alright, fine," she replied with irritation. "I was checking you out."
"Why?"
"Blame Talia," she mumbled.
"What?"
She sucked in a long, fortifying breath and explained, "Talia had this bright idea I should look at you like you're some guy I just met, to see... you know..."
"No. I don't. Is this a practical joke?"
For a second, she wished it was one of the stupid pranks they used to pull on each other before they grew up. Things had been so much simpler when they were kids. Oh, who was she kidding? They'd been simpler a half hour ago.
"More of an experiment..."
It was the wrong thing to say, she could tell by the dark cloud that crossed his face, and immediately rushed to undo the damage. "She's obviously one of those people who think men and women can't be friends. I said she was being ridiculous, I mean we've known each other forever, right?"
"She's hardly the first person to bring it up," Oscar commented. "Our moms have been like dogs with bones on the subject since we were in Little League."
"I know. And it's never gonna happen, we both know that."
"But? Cos there's one coming, isn't there?"
Callie grimaced. "But I couldn't get them on board until I agreed to check there wasn't a spark between us. I had to make sure you aren't it."
"Spark... it..." Oscar blinked, obviously finding it difficult to keep up. "On board to do what, exactly?"
"Be more pro-active about hunting down our Mr. Right's."
"Let me get this straight. You were checking me out for the position of your Mr. Right?" The question was asked slowly and carefully, like he was talking to someone who didn't speak the same language. With an undertone of incredulity.
"No. Well, technically yes. But it wasn't my idea." She continued as he turned his head and looked at her from the corner of his eye, "See, I said we needed to be more pro-active about our love lives, figure out what it is we need so we can go out there and search for it..."
"Isn't that what everyone does?"
"Not actively. Most people just flounder around hoping they'll recognize it when it appears."
When she didn't go any further, Oscar lifted his arm and made a circling motion with his forefinger. "Keep going."
"Well, I came up with a plan..."
"Of course, you did."
"And the conversation kind of drifted around to the obstacles we all put in the way." Callie stopped, frowned and looked to her left. "Seriously?" she asked the living statue. "There's not enough reality T.V. for you?"
"What kind of obstacles?" Oscar asked.
She aimed another look of warning at their audience before she continued, "Like Avery hasn't dated in forever and Beth has this weird idea about sex being available to order like take-out food – no muss, no fuss, no complications, that kind of thing - and Talia, well, y'know, she has the whole Aaron problem..."
"More his problem than hers, I'd argue. And me. I'm your obstacle."
"Talia seems to think so," Callie confessed.
His eyes narrowed. "Her solution to this problem involves more than you checking me out, doesn't it?"
Since Oscar had met Talia, it was no great surprise he'd jumped to the right conclusion.
"She thinks I should have sex with you."
"Of course, she does." His jaw tightened. "Don't suppose I get a say in it? I'm just supposed to play along with this little," he raised both hands to make invisible speech marks in the air with his fingers, "experiment?"
If she didn't know better, Callie would say his feelings were hurt. But as hare-brained as some of her great schemes may have been, Oscar knew she would never use him to prove a point. Not in that way.
"Talia is a piece of work," he said. "I never got what Aaron saw in her."
Really? Callie blinked. She thought it was obvious. Everywhere they went guys looked at Talia before they noticed there was another woman in the room. "She's not that bad. You've never got to know her. And she made some valid points."
"Like?"
She shrugged and wedged her fingertips into what little space there was in the back pockets of her skinny jeans. "Our relationship could be misinterpreted by other people. Potential partners might find it off-putting."
"Hasn't stopped either of us dating," Oscar argued.
"No, but it's not like either of us have gone steady for long."
"So, the first step in this great plan of yours was to eliminate me from the running."
Close enough. Callie nodded.
"And then what? We stop seeing each other?"
"No." She was shocked he'd gone there, particularly when her fear of losing him was part of the reason she was so keen to take control of her love life.
"That's the thing with obstacles, Cal." His deep voice lowered to the soft rumble he always used when he was breaking bad news to her, or told her something he knew she didn't want to hear. "If that's what you're calling them, you obviously think they're standing in your way."
Like Talia's relationship with Aaron...
The reminder settled in the pit of her stomach like a ball of lead. If letting go of Aaron felt half as bad for Talia as the thought of losing Oscar felt for her, Callie had a lot of apologizing to do.
"I don't want to remove you from my life. If I did, I wouldn't be helping you find a present for your mom's birthday, would I?" She glanced at their audience. "And your ten bucks worth is probably up. We should get going."
The street entertainer leaned down and handed her a business card.
"For Beth," he said with a wink.
Ugh.
Callie tossed it into the next trash can and wiped her hand on her hip while Oscar thought things over.
"Since we both know there's no way in hell you were planning to seduce me to prove a point, what were you going to do if you found the spark you were looking for when you checked me out?" he inquired.
"I think we should drop this now," she replied flatly, beginning to get irritated that he didn't understand.
"Would you have told me if you found it?"
He really needed to stop pushing her soon.
"If you were so certain you wouldn't find it, why look?"
"I hate when you do this." Her pace increased, the need to get to Macy's so they could focus on purchasing a gift suddenly more urgent. "You tear things apart until they don't even resemble what they were in the first place."
It was an Oscar-ism which drove her crazy when they were teenagers. Old radios, T.V. sets, phones, computers, hand-held games, he could never leave them the hell alone. He had to know how they did what they did, if they could be improved in any way and what happened when bits of different things were stuck together. The equivalent of Doctor Frankenstein to anything electronic and when he disappeared down that rabbit hole it took considerable effort to dig him out. Callie knew because she was usually the one holding the shovel. When he utilized the same method to try and understand people, she'd wanted to hit him over the head with it.
"I'm trying to get what's going on. Something that isn't always easy with you. You have a habit of twisting things around and coming at them from a different direction than everyone else." He kept up with her increased pace by lengthening his stride, demonstrating zero indication he was aware of her mood. "There's still something you're not telling me and until you do, I can't help."
Okay. That did it.
Callie spun on him. "I don't need your help."
The frustration she felt for not considering how Talia might feel about Aaron combined with Oscar's inability to let things go, bubbled up and over, like a pot of water left on a stove for too long. She was sick of messing things up, making poor choices and stumbling from one disastrous relationship to another. At that exact moment, as Oscar frowned at her, she could see she was doing it again: Making things difficult. It wasn't his fault she was experiencing a mid-twenties crisis. He didn't know how she felt, was unable to read her mind and no matter how much he wanted to, couldn't help. Not this time.
What she was doing to him, was unfair. He didn't need to be dragged into more of her problems.
It had to stop.
"Callie," he said her name in the same soft, soothing tone a parent used to comfort a crying child. "Talk to me."
She shook her head. "I can't."
"Yes, you can. You can tell me anything."
"Like you tell me everything?"
Everyone had secrets. It was a fact she hadn't associated with Oscar until his relationship with Princess Perky, though obviously there were some details she didn't need to know. But the moment the truth hit her, Callie knew their relationship couldn't stay the same forever.
She tried to look him in the eye, but when she saw the confirmation of what she'd said written on his face, couldn't hold his gaze. "I have to work through this on my own," she said flatly.
He stared at her for a long moment, seemed uncertain how to respond, and then asked, "We're still good though, right?"
It was a question as old as their relationship, one they'd both asked dozens of times. The boy she met in a playground was still in there. She would always love him for that, even when he forgot her birthday, didn't call her for months on end and the only contact between them was a yearly Christmas card.
"We're good," she replied with a tremulous smile. "I just need a little alone time to work my way through it. This whole adulting thing is hard."
"It's over-rated." Oscar tried one of his patented 'it'll be okay' smiles on her. "Kinda makes you wonder why we were in such a rush to get here."
Yes. But it had to happen sometime. She couldn't avoid it forever. No matter how tempting it was to ask him to take her to the nearest park so she could swing all her troubles away.
"We should go get that birthday gift for your mom."
"Okay." He nodded. But he didn't move. He simply held his position and watched her. Waiting for her to say something else?
Callie stayed silent. Too many people said something when there was nothing left to say, driven by a need to fill the silence. Up until recently, she would have been one of them. But not this time. This time, she turned and walked away.