JENNIE
I am not a jealous type of person. Or am I? Ugh. I don't want to talk about it.
But every time I notice girls around flirting with Lisa, there's this push in me that wants to slit their throat.
For a year that we're officially together, living in one roof, there was never a time she gave me a reason to get jealous. I can say that I am so lucky to have her for being so loyal to me. She courts me everyday. She keeps asking me for marriage. She actually got a ring already. But every time she proposes at me, I always tell her that we don't need to rush to that.
I love Lisa. I am deeply in love with her and she's the only one I want to marry. But not now. Not now that I am starting to branch out my designs to more countries and anytime soon, I will be flying in and out of the country.
We have discovered a lot from each other. I discovered that she wants more of my time. I mean, she would always check on me. She always wants to kiss me. She is very clingy. Sometimes I notice she's being possessive already, but we are honest to each other of what we feel, so she listens to me every time I tell her that being too possessive is not good in a relationship. I am lucky that Lisa listens.
I discover too that she is very particular in every thing. She is too disciplined especially to her actions. She loves to clean the house and even check the surfaces if it has dust. She said that I have just been having dust allergies lately so that's why.
When we have fights or arguments which is inevitable in a relationship, there was never a time that she would shout at me or raise her voice. But I just don't like her tone sometimes. She sometimes brings her being a General at home which I don't consider when we're at the house. So, it's either she apologizes to me or sleeps on the couch. Of course, she apologizes to me. But I can't resist her after having a fight. We always end up making love. God.
Lisa became close to my Dad and my brother. If I have fashion shows on weekends or I need to go to another country, she would spend time playing golf with my father or teach Jungkook how to use a gun. Speaking of that. Lisa already taught me how to use a gun too and gave me one for my protection. Don't worry, it has a license.
When it comes to our safety, she bought two more cars so we can randomly pick everyday. Then she would sell those after a few months and look for a replacement again. She said it's not advisable that we use same car everyday. Well, the General is an advance thinker, who am I to oppose? But she never replaces her black Bugatti. It's her first gift to herself as a cop.
Lisa has also been asking me why she can't get me pregnant yet. Well, she doesn't know I'm on pills since we moved in together, because if I'm not, God, I am probably having a bump now for having regular sex. But I don't complain, she's so good in bed that I even crave for it every night. It's just that, I want marriage first before having a baby and good thing, she understands. Later on, I already admitted to her that I am on pills and she's okay with it. She said I just have to make sure that those pills won't harm my health.
I want her. I love everything about her. She has flaws but I don't know why it make me fall in love with her even more.
Every time I visit in her office, I am happy that she's not shy showing her affection to me in front of her colleagues. Well, no one can tell her what and what not to do since she is the Chief. As usual, I always bring food to her and also to her men. They're so good to me and they always protect and prioritize Lisa. They also protect me everyday. Lisa has hired high ranking police officers too to look after me in a distance everywhere I go. That's one of Lisa's commands. They must be vigilant, but they have to make sure not to get in the way when I want to be alone and if I want my personal space.
With our vinyl records, we don't fight anymore who's to have or who should give up her choice. Because we shared our records at home already and we even tease each other that it's going to be a conjugal property anyway.
Lisa would always bring me to our music room and play some records and ask me for a dance. This is one thing I love about her. She is too hard, stiff and serious outside, but when we're together, she's the most romantic person you'll ever have! I swear! She looks at me romantically, she writes letters and give it to me when she sends me to work and kiss me passionately like she doesn't want to let go. She hugs me like I am the most important person in this world. She doesn't choose a place where to tell me she loves me.
Most importantly, she respects me. She respects every decision I make. She asks for my suggestions for the decisions she has to make. She always makes me feel that my words matter in everything. This is what I learned from our relationship. We give and take. As much as possible, we want to be fair to each other. She's even telling me, if we're going to have kids, she'll make sure that they will grow speaking up their mind and emotions. It made me realize that she really can be a good parent to our children someday. Yes, Lisa has been going to her Doctor lately and made some tests to make sure if as an intersex, she really can produce what I need to be pregnant. And yes, she is capable.
One day, Rosé teased me that Lisa and I should have a baby already since we're both turning 28 this year and it's about time.
Speaking of my little devil friend, she's calling. Wait a minute, reader.
Me: Yes, Doc?
Rose: Jennie, where are you?
Rose's voice is shaking on the line.
Me: Rosé, what happened? I'm at the office and going home in a bit. Just waiting for Lisa.
Rosé: Jennie, pick me up. Come with me. Hanbin called me a while ago. Jisoo was shot during an operation and she's in the hospital right now.
Rosé loves to prank me, but this time, I know she is not joking.
Me: Oh my god. What hospital? Are you on duty now?
Rosé: No. I'm at home. Pick me up please. I have been calling for a cab, but no one's picking me up here at my place due to traffic. I can't drive, Jennie.
Me: Okay. Wait for me. Lisa is on her way already to fetch me. We'll pick you up. Drink warm water. Bye.
I rushed to call Lisa. Good that she picked it up immediately.
Me: Babe, where are you? Do you know what happened to Jisoo?
Lisa: Babe, I'm here already outside. You coming down already? Yes, I have heard.
Why is Lisa so calm? This is her best friend being shot and she's calm? No way!
I rushed to her car and I kissed her hungrily because I can't resist those pink plump lips and I ordered her to drive fast to Rosé's.
We picked her up and Rosé is sobbing. I sat with her at the backseat. I still notice Lisa is just calm. I also looked around and this is not the way to the hospital. But I can't argue with Lisa anymore as I am at the backseat comforting Rosé. We just let her drive.
So yeah, we're not in a hospital. I wonder what we're doing here. Even Rosé is curious already and kept asking Lisa where's Jisoo. She pointed at the lake and there we saw hundreds of light bulbs and flying lanters slowly rising up to the sky.
A romantic music is playing. Rosé and I looked at each other in awe. Lisa is a few meters away from us and I notice she's walking like a dead person and not even smiling.
As Rosé walks towards Jisoo, the cop is already telling her lines. Ok. She is proposing. I am actually in tears right now because my heart is just so happy that finally, Rosé is having her dream proposal she once told me.
Their family and friends are present and also their closest colleagues from work.
After Jisoo's sweet speech, she knelt down in front of Rosé and the Doctor said yes.
They're engaged!
Shit. I forgot about Lisa.
I looked for her.
There she is leaning on her car and smoking. When did she learn to smoke?
I noticed her eyes are sad and her body is too weak. I walked towards her and cupped her face when I reached her.
"Baby, when did you learn to smoke?" I asked her. She threw her cigarette and crossed her arms on her chest.
"Since college? But I only smoke when I'm stressed from work." Her voice is lifeless.
Hmmm. I think I know what this is all about. Jisoo's proposal to Rosé.
"Aren't you happy that your best friend is already engaged?" I asked her and I snaked my hand on her nape, rubbing my thumb to her skin.
"I am happy." She said. Wow. Happy.
"Lisa, ell me the truth." I looked at her in the eyes and gotcha! I knew it. This is about us. About her proposal to me that I have been declining for months now.
"Let's go home, babe. I had a rough day at the office and I will join the operation tomorrow."
She said and entered the car first.
We arrived home and Lisa is still weak. I hugged her when we're on bed. She is pretending to be asleep. Her back faces me. I lifted my body to kiss her goodnight but I saw a tear flowing from her eyes. I pulled her shoulder so she can face me.
"Love, what's the problem? You know you can always tell me right?" I told her while rubbing her cheeks.
"Let's sleep. I just had a bad day at the office today." She said.
You are lying, Lisa.
I don't know why I feel really bad. This is the first time we're going to sleep together and she's not hugging me and we're not that okay, I guess?