Living.
Let's talk about that, shall we?
What is living?
Breathing, Eating, Walking,Freedom, etc.
Yes. But really, what's the purpose of it?
Why were we born as tiny little fetuses only to wait for 17 years so we could walk alone in this such loud world?
Of course you've heard of this question before, almost every human asks about it.
Different answers but too complex.
What I like to simplify is that we live for a balance in the universe. But again, how do I balance if everything is falling apart?
Waking up at 7 in the morning. I'm not the biggest fans of routines but then again I have to. Slippers were gone, don't know where they went but those big fluffy greys aren't hard to spot. It was on the side of my closet, lying there. Fluffy grey slippers aren't really a massive thing to worry in the morning, but the sound of the slippers against the wooden floor creaks are comforting.
If you don't know me, Hi.
I'm Camille Laurent Bloom. But, Eden, that's the name I want you to call me. I was completely normal at the age of day 1 till 5 years old but then I was diagnosed with the disorder of Misophonia. It's like hatred towards annoying sounds. Not only hatred, but loving too. I get so obsessed with sounds. It's crazy. I'm crazy.
It didn't became as big deal back then, but it gets crazier when I grew. I was 10 years old, my stupid uncle decided to bring balloons, the party itself was loud. Not too loud, I was handling it perfectly. But those stupid squeaking balloons had to made my mood turn, again I handled it. I told to myself to not try to be a bitch and ignore it.
It then blew up.
I knew I was going crazy after that.
I fell on the floor, rolling myself while my hands covered my ears. I remembered I hated my own scream, but I kept doing it. Not knowing how to stop myself.
I somehow forgot how to breath, the sudden pop ruined a beat in my heart. It's like a symphony loosing one rythm. I kept telling myself, I don't want to die in the age of 10 years old just because a shit balloon popped.
I even went to a isolation room, but that didn't make me better. It made me feel like I was a wanted psychopath, and white walls aren't my thing. Too bright and too dramatic. It makes you crazier.
After that incident, no parties. Only dinner.
Still annoys me with their horrible chewing sounds and metal spoons against the plate.
That's why I carry a white earplug, it helps me.
Music was another saver. Not all music, music that doesn't involve stupid lyrics and horrible melodies. It's not about genre's at all, I even listen to screaming heavy metal musics some of them are actually good. Music that involves pianos and orchestra are my forté. Not specifically classic, but whatever calms me more.
I was dressed. The next thing to do was walk myself to the bus station. My apartment in Seattle wasn't far from Uni so taking public transportation cost way more cheaper. Sacrifices for the annoying sounds, but plugged in earphones helps very much.
You might've asked, what is the thing that really bothers you so much about these sounds?
It doesn't bother me if I could control it. Such as musics, if I hated it, I could just skip it to the next song or pause it. But the sounds that surrounds me that I can't control, I can't control someone over their chewing sounds or how they speak. I can't control squeaking chairs or loud engine roars, I can't even control my body on how to react to those sounds. My body couldn't handle it, it was like my body decided to kick out my mind and operates on its own. I can't control things. That's what makes me crazy.
The bus stops and I still have to take 2 minutes to walk to the building. My class isn't starting any soon but I had a few essays I wanted to work on the library. If you didn't know, library is my second favorite place on this earth. The first is my room of course. The way that no one was talking, no one was bothering your businesses, everyone was just captive in their own mind. It's lovely. Even the atmosphere itself is somehow quiet and calm.
30 minutes was spent on the library and I catch up to my class. I sat myself besides two students, who have weirdly pleasing odors. Somehow the scent of musk and rose petals just match. I like sitting besides them, they're awfully quiet too. The other one, he just nods to his own music while the other girl just seems to be too lazy to even open her mouth. Perfect.
The professor came in, all eyes were immediately on him. Not just because how tall he was but how intimidating he looks. Thick brows, every bone on his face just decides to pop out and his non existing lips just sitting there, ready to curse you out with his British accent. But he wasn't what you'd be expecting, in fact his voice was soothing. He always strokes his blonde hair backwards every time he explains something.
I'm an English major, not very a surprise. I like writing, and I like... writing I guess. It's just writing makes no sounds at all, you just write and read. No need for a talk or conversation to discuss about it. Just a simple message.
He always ends the class with a smack on the table and smiles. Which I hated it, I always scratch my ears every time he does that.
I don't very much have friends here. Not that I would call friends. But one of them decided to talk to me on my way to next class, the class we both share.
"Hey, Ed" Delilah called. Her dyed brunette hair and her basic but wonderful style of clothing just makes her so likable. And yet she is commonly smart.
"Hi Delilah," I shared a smile.
"So, I was thinking maybe we could discuss the new chapter for the second book, you know? We kinda got stuck in chapter 7 so I think we should just forget it and move to chapter 8", She says. She was mentioning about the book we were working on and it was very old scripted English book that had very different ways of writing and we were both partnered to discuss it's meaning and how the book actually meant or how it went. We made a day on our schedule to work on it together on the library (sometimes the garden), either it's Wednesday or Friday.
"Yeah up to you."
A sound of a phone buzz, my phone was on my pocket so if it buzzed, I could felt it vibrate."Shit, sorry it's Heather". Delilah went to a corner and picked up her phone. Heather was her twin sister, but significantly different. Delilah was a calm girl, she wore something her personality would wore. And Heather, I never really knew Heather but I've met her many times. Heather was wild, she looks more bigger than Delilah, but their height and sizes are almost the same. But Heather's personality was quite a shine. You could see from her Red-ish Orange hair and her clothes, you knew she was a wild card.
I looked to Delilah, to see if she wanted me to wait for her. She close the mic with her palms and mouthed 'Go'. I nodded and proceed walking to my next class.
I took a chair at the end. So besides me could be Delilah and the other is just a wall. I took my bag and placed it on the table besides me so no one was able to sit on it.
Minutes pass and more students were on the class. Delilah wasn't seen anywhere. A male figure grabbed my bag and carefully placed it on the side of my leg. He gave a smile and sat on the table.
What the hell?
I know i'm the bad guy for putting my bag in another table but that's because it was reserved. He could've asked for permission.
I shrugged it off and told Delilah through a text that her chair was taken.Delilah opened the class door and look worried, searching for a friendly face of mine. She saw me at the edge and immediately rushed her way to the table in front of me, a hundred of 'excuse me' fell from her mouth as she slowly passes the students.
"You okay?"
She turned to me, "No. Heather decided to crash my fucking car."
"What? Is she okay?"
"Yeah, she's fine. But my car is wrecked. Do you know how much effort and money to buy myself that car?" Delilah was pissed. Never saw this side of her.
"Calm down, I'll help you take care of it after class. Don't forget to breath."
She nodded before turning back to the front.
"You know, I could help your friend. My uncle own a garage repair, I could ask for a lower price if you'd like," The stranger besides me says. He had a British accent and those green eyes just struck you as soon as you meet them.
I looked to him, I didn't know what to answer. I should discuss it with Delilah first, it's her car in the first place.
"I'll talk to her first, it's her car. The decision is on her."
He smiled, "it's fine. My offer opens all the time."
I glance him a little smile before turning my head to the professor that just got in. The whole class I wasn't really paying that attention, I was trying too hard to not let myself go crazy over the screeching sound as the chalk greets the green board.
I also kept glancing on the stranger. He was brunette and his green eyes were like forest of trees. His jawline was so perfectly aligned with his head, and his adam's apple pops out on his neck. He had a perfect pointy nose and sadly a non existing lip. His chin was perfectly rounded as well. Such a perfect stranger.
He wore a black sweater, a thick one. And it was loose around his body, but his shoulders were seen broad.
I kept glancing on him too much until his pupils look to my direction.
shit.