On Friday evening, Lisa had spent the whole evening moping. Rosé and Jisoo had called the others over, and they had an impromptu games night at Rosé and Lisa's. Jisoo brought over rather a lot of alcohol and Lisa had overindulged, meaning that she spent Saturday morning with her arms wrapped around the toilet. The alcohol, rather than making her happy and relaxed, had made her morose and unwilling, and eventually unable, to join in most of the conversations.
Later that afternoon, she had gone to work. As she passed the newsstand on the way to the bookstore, she hadn't been able to avoid seeing the front pages of the overnight newspapers, Jennie's face plastered all over them. She could see Jennie's face, contorted in shock and irritation. In some, they had cropped the photos so that all you could see was her face, and in others they'd kept the full body shots. There was Jennie Kim, the papers said, looking like she'd just rolled out of a bed she very clearly hadn't spent much time sleeping in. Her hair was in beautiful disarray, some papers had highlighted the dark spots on her neck and collarbone, the rainbow on her top zoomed in on, and some had a smaller photo of Lisa in one of the corners. The titles all had various unimaginative titles along the lines of Jennie Kim's Lesbian Getaway, and Lisa angrily stalked past the newsstand as if it had personally offended her.
By the time she'd arrived at work, which Hanbin had been taking care of for her, it was much busier than usual. Naively she wondered whether there was something special about today, but when she'd walked in, she'd felt every eye turn to stare at her. A newspaper with Jennie's face on it had flashed in front of her eyes as someone asked her whether it was her in the photo. It turned out that the newspaper had printed Lisa's first name, although not her last, so she was at least being afforded some small measure of privacy. Perhaps Rosé's colleague Rhea hadn't been absolutely, 100% heartless.
She denied all the questions, although it hurt her to do so and she wasn't sure that anyone believed her. Lisa retreated into the storeroom and sorted out the stock in the boxes ready for Monday morning when she'd next be in. Rosé knew that Lisa had to keep busy in order to keep her mind off things, so for the next week, whenever neither of them was at work, she and Rosé went to the theater to see a matinee of Hamilton and the evening Wicked show, the fairground where Lisa won a bear so large it had been the star of a photoshoot on the subway, for long walks on Staten Island sharing ice cream.
She knew she needed to give Jennie the time she'd asked for, but that didn't stop her from checking her cell every few minutes to see whether she had any messages. Logically, she knew Jennie had probably had meetings that spanned many time zones, and that she had already left for Utah and was already filming Space Pirates, but the tiny amount of communication sucked.
The truth was that it had only been a few days, but Lisa already missed Jennie terribly. She had quickly grown used to waking up with Jennie's voice soft with sleep, her being around all the time, and her not being there had left a hole in Lisa's life that she hadn't expected to be so large. Internally, she berated herself for falling so far so fast, but she also knew she couldn't help it. Someone like Jennie, who so easily fitted in Lisa's life and heart, didn't come around very often.
The first Friday after Jennie had left, she'd spent the whole afternoon painting nothing and everything. She'd spent far too long trying to mix the exact shade of brown that Jennie's eyes turned when she looked at Lisa, and the subtle mixing of colors soothed her. She hadn't managed it, but the various browns she had come out with ended up on the canvas in the form of a forest, a grey castle in the distance, indistinct banners unfurled and waving in an imagined morning breeze.
Lisa was getting ready for bed in the bathroom when she heard her phone ringing in her bedroom. By the time she'd finished brushing her teeth, it had stopped ringing. Earlier she'd thrown her cell across the bed, and when she came back in and saw that she had a missed call from Jennie, her heart skipped a beat. She dived dramatically across the bed and picked her phone up, made herself comfortable, and called Jennie back.
Jennie answered immediately, before it even had a chance to ring, and her voice flooded Lisa's senses. "Hello darling," she greeted. "Are you busy?"
"Hi!" Lisa breathed. "No, I was just getting ready for bed."
"Lisa! It's-" Jennie paused, "2am there!"
"In that case it's midnight there, so you're not doing much better," Lisa replied, gently teasing her.
"We were doing a night shoot, I have an excuse," Jennie protested. "Not that I'm not pleased I didn't wake you up, but... why are you still awake?"
"I was painting," Lisa said, hearing Jennie's breath catch in excitement, and Jennie was off, asking lots of questions about her process and what she'd painted, and Lisa relaxed back on her bed and settled in to tell Jennie about the painting of the forest and the castle. It turned out that Jennie had quite an active imagination and Lisa was amused as Jennie designed a whole story around her painting, inventing characters, a background, and wondered whether it should be a historical story or a modern one. She asked for a photo of the painting, and Lisa obliged, telling her she would take a photo once they had finished talking and send it to her.
In turn, Lisa asked Jennie how the shoot was going, whether she'd been able to get Ella on board or not (she had, and Ella was very excited about the film, as predicted), and Jennie told her all about how she would be doing her own stunts, and that although a lot of the film would be shot with a green screen, they had a lot of conceptual art by the designers, and it would look beautiful once everything had been digitally added.
Lisa shifted against her pillows, and she could hear Jennie doing something similar, wherever she was. "So, how are you, Jennie?" she asked.
"Honestly? Exhausted," Jennie replied, and Lisa thought that she did actually sound quite tired as she stifled a yawn. "It's been really hot since I arrived, but because the skies have been so clear and we're shooting in the middle of nowhere, the decision was made to move the night shoots to now so that they get the best lighting. The moon is so bright here, Lisa," she said, wistfully. "Sometimes I've gone outside with a chair at night and just looked up at the moon and the stars. It's freezing at night, but they're so bright I can almost read by their light. Almost."
Lisa could just imagine Jennie lying outside on a lounge chair, the moonlight making her pale skin glow, and she smiled at the thought of it. "I wish I could see it," she said.
"Maybe one day, we can," Jennie said quietly. "If we- I mean... you know what I mean. I think you'd like it here. We're filming in the Moab desert. There are so many beautiful sights here." Lisa could hear the smile on Jennie's face, and it matched hers.
"I'd love to see it," she murmured. "So... how are you, Jennie? I mean, after... you know."
Jennie let out a heavy sigh. "It's been hard. That weekend, I met with my publicist. She was more concerned about my career, and suggested that I deny everything, at least for now." Lisa thought she felt her stomach sink at that thought. "But, I don't want to do that. I haven't really decided how to best approach this yet but I- I don't want to deny this. I know it's going to change the way that people look at me. And change the way that people expect me to behave. For example, instead of attending Pride as a private citizen, as I have been doing-" she's been attending Pride? Lisa wondered, "-people will expect me to be right at the head of it. And... that's fine, but I would always have preferred it to be my own choice. Not because of anyone else's expectations."
"Yeah, that makes sense," Lisa said, feeling sorry for Jennie.
"And..." Jennie continued, her voice wavering. "People can be really mean."
"That's true, but Jennie, you can't start to think like that. Not everyone is going to be mean about your sexuality," Lisa replied firmly. "No matter what anyone says, the only opinions that should really matter are the ones of those people you count as your family and friends. I know there are some... people in office making things extremely difficult for people like us right now, but we're going to keep fighting them."
"I got invited to the White House last year after I won the Oscar," Jennie confided in a sly voice.
"What, really?!" Lisa exclaimed.
"Yeah. My mother's doing, no doubt. She called and tried to insist that I go and that I take her with me, try and put the Kim name back in the news. I told her I was washing my hair that night."
Lisa snorted. "I bet that went down well."
"I'll say," Jennie laughed. "She hasn't forgiven me for it yet."
Their laughter got quieter, and Lisa was content to just sit and keep the connection open with Jennie as long as she could. She got up from her bed and moved over to sit in front of her painting, and poured a little bit of black paint and a small dollop of white onto her paint board. To the side of one of the trees, to the side of the painting, she added a figure in white with black hair, gazing at the castle in the distance. She described what she was doing to Jennie as she was doing it, and Jennie asked again for a photo.
When Jennie stifled the third yawn in a row, Lisa told her that she had to go to bed. They'd been on the phone for an hour, and while she didn't have work tomorrow, she knew that Jennie did.
"Are Friday evenings good to call you?" Jennie asked sleepily.
"Any day is good to call me," Lisa replied.
"I know, but... I just wanted to make sure I wouldn't be interrupting anything," Jennie said, through another yawn.
"Okay Jennie, you need to go to sleep," Lisa said.
"Mmhmm, I will. I miss you Lisa," Jennie said in a low voice. "I wish you were here with me. The hardest part about this is being away from you."
Lisa felt her stomach fill with butterflies and a grin spread over her face. "Trust me, I wish I were there too. I don't want you to go but... you should get some sleep."
"You should too... sleep well," Jennie whispered.
"You too, Jennie," Lisa replied, and pulled the phone away from her ear when the connection was broken. She snapped a quick photo of the painting she'd done and sent it across to Jennie, before climbing into bed on Jennie's side, and plugging her cell in to charge. Just as she was drifting off to sleep, her phone vibrated with a text message.
Jennie: It's beautiful, Lisa. I'd love to see more of your paintings. You need to add yourself into the painting too
Jennie: :)
Jennie: Put yourself next to me?
Lisa went to sleep smiling.
-----
The next month passed much quicker. Their texts were sporadic, but Jennie always called her every Friday evening, and Lisa dropped whatever she was doing to take the call. They didn't talk again about their tentative relationship, such as it was. Lisa knew how Jennie felt, and she didn't want to put additional pressure on Jennie while she was already going through quite a lot. She hadn't yet released anything to the press, and Lisa was starting to wonder about that, but didn't mention it. She knew Jennie would be trying to handle it the best she could from her side.
Jennie always sounded very tired when she called. The shoot was turning out to be longer than expected, and as Jennie had decided to try to do all her own stunts, she was exhausted. She always sounded happy, despite that, and Lisa was happy just to let Jennie talk herself into silence if that's what she wanted to do; she was just happy to hear Jennie's low and melodious voice coming through her phone. Whenever she was telling Jennie a funny story about this and that, she could hear the answering smile in Jennie's own voice.
Every week, Jennie told her stories from the set, making her laugh. Ella had been causing quite a stir by deciding the best way to pass the time was by playing practical jokes on everyone on set. Jennie herself had been got by Ella, who had snuck into her trailer and sprayed purple ink into Jennie's showerhead just before she used it, causing the usually pale actress to look like she'd very badly lost a paintball fight. Lisa had laughed herself silly at the photo Jennie had sent her. Other people had their trailers filled with balloons, books and photo frames were placed upside down, and a lot of the pranks made it to the movie's official Instagram page.
Jennie did have an Instagram account, but she had hardly used it. Whenever she was tagged in one of the movie's set photos, there were occasionally some less than kind comments and speculations about her sexuality, such as people thought it was. They made Lisa mad, and although she was sure that Jennie knew about them, she never replied to the comments. Lisa took her lead and likewise ignored them.
When the Vehemence came out six weeks after Jennie's departure, Lisa, Rosé, Jisoo, Mino, and Hanbin went to the cinema to watch it. Lisa delighted in seeing Jennie's name getting top billing in the credits, feeling proud of her even though she hadn't known her at the time it was being filmed. It was a lot more serious than most of Jennie's other works, a frontier film set when the States were seceding from the Union. Lisa silently cheered when Lucas' character died in a gunfight at the hands of none other than Jennie's character, Annie, in one of the final scenes. The friends all walked out of the cinema thinking that if the film didn't win the Oscar for Best Film in the next awards season, it would be a crime.
-----
Two months after Jennie left, Lisa was sitting on a plane, feeling perhaps the most ridiculous that she'd ever felt. She blamed Jisoo for this, she did. During the most recent games night, Jisoo had had one too many ciders and decided that she absolutely needed to convince Lisa that flying out to Utah the next morning as a surprise for Jennie was the best idea ever. Lisa, having had one too many ciders herself, had evidently agreed with this idea because here she was, on a plane, flying to Salt Lake City, eyeing the sick bag in the seat pocket in front of her as if it was going to jump out and attach itself to her face.
She had made the mistake of telling Jisoo that Jennie had mentioned filming a few scenes in the Clark Planetarium in Salt Lake City that coming weekend, and Jisoo, and ultimately Lisa, had decided that it would a wonderful idea to head out on the earliest possible flight the next morning. She'd booked a night in a hotel, knowing that she most likely wouldn't be able to stay with Jennie while she was shooting, as well as a flight back home for the following morning. Last-minute, none of those things were cheap, but Lisa figured that she'd worry about that later. When she was sober.
What an impression she was going to make, showing up at the Planetarium with eyes red from lack of sleep, sure that the alcohol was still seeping through her pores, and her hair unruly from not having been able to dry it before she left.
At least she'd managed to put on matching socks. Well. They were both blue-ish anyway.
So far, the flight had been subject to quite a lot of turbulence. Lisa had left her seatbelt on since they'd taken off, and as they lurched around in the air, she shut her eyes and pretended that she was on a rollercoaster designed by children.
The truth Lisa was having a hard time admitting to herself as the plane rocked up and down and from side to side was that she really wasn't sure that flying out unannounced was a good idea. Jennie was bound to be very busy, she had asked for time, and Lisa was about to show up in the middle of her workday. Also, she'd never been to Salt Lake City and knew nothing about it other than that maybe some Mormons lived there. Maybe. Nevertheless, here she was, on a plane that was descending into the city's airport, without having a clue as to what she was going to say to Jennie when she saw her. She didn't even have any luggage to delay her exit from the airport. She was regretting this decision already.
After a while, Lisa tried to distract herself from her thoughts and the turbulence with the book she'd brought with her, but the woman in the seat next to her was listening to some seriously loud music. Lisa could hear the tinny music clearly, even down to the breaths between the lines the artist was singing. She tapped her foot along to the annoying music regardless.
She was excited to see Jennie, she was, for sure. Who wouldn't be? But she couldn't shake the feeling that this was the wrong thing to do. They weren't even technically dating, and this really felt like overkill. She hoped Jennie would be happy to see her, but... the way her heart was sinking even as the plane bumped across the runway told her that she may not be.
Lisa had managed to catch a cab fairly easily, surprising given that it was only just past nine in the morning, and now she was speeding through the city to the Planetarium. Lisa fiddled with her cell in her lap, opening and closing the messaging app repeatedly as she fought the urge to tell the cab driver to turn around and go back to the airport, even though her flight home wasn't until tomorrow morning.
Once the cab pulled up and she'd paid the driver, she clambered nervously out. The street was full of camera crews sitting on the sidewalk checking their gear and massive security men watching everyone who walked past. Lisa was surprised she'd even managed to get as close as across the street. One lane of the street around one of the corners had been closed and was entirely blocked with large cars and an enormous trailer.
It was, sadly, a very windy day, and Lisa's hair gusted around her face as she fought to tie it up. Well. Now that she was here... she pulled her cell out and called Jennie. It rang, and rang, and eventually it hit Jennie's voicemail. She pulled her phone away from her ear and frowned at it. Of course, Jennie was probably shooting and had her cell in the trailer that Lisa assumed was hers. How could she have not thought of that? And now here she was, standing creepily on the sidewalk, attracting the attention of both the film crew and the security. Her cell buzzing in her hand distracted her, and she was relieved to see Jennie's name up on the screen. She swiped across to answer it and turned her back on the security, hoping she looked more casual than she felt.
"Hi!" she chirped into the phone.
"Hello," Jennie said, and Lisa could hear the smile coming through the phone. "Oh, are you okay? This is quite early for you to call. Are you at work?"
"No, no- I mean, yes, I'm fine," Lisa babbled. "I'm... well. I'm- Jennie, this is going to sound stupid, but I'm kind of in Salt Lake City."
Lisa heard the silence stretch out through the phone line and winced.
"What do you mean, you're in Salt Lake City?" Jennie asked slowly.
"I mean, I'm outside the Planetarium," Lisa replied.
"Um... okay, hang on. I'm going to come and get you," Jennie said, and hung up the phone abruptly. Lisa shoved her cell in her back pocket and waited. She wasn't sure where Jennie would be coming out from, and so she remained standing in the middle of the sidewalk, feeling even more awkward than she had before Jennie had called her back.
The security men at the front of the Planetarium all shifted around the entrance, and Lisa spotted Jennie coming out. Her breath caught in her chest as her greedy eyes took Jennie in for the first time in two months. She was wearing fitted slacks, towering heels, and a deep red wine colored satin shirt that was tucked into her slacks that looked like it cost a fortune. Her hair was tied up in a severe high ponytail that made Lisa wonder whether Jennie suffered from hair headaches. But she looked absolutely... delectable, and Lisa wished she had some water to rehydrate her mouth.
Jennie smiled quickly at her and gave her a brief hug as she reached her, the security guard who had followed Jennie eyed her suspiciously.
"Tony, this is Lisa. She's my guest at the moment, and I can vouch for her. I'm just going to take her to the trailer, okay?" she said to the security guard, Tony apparently, who nodded and held his arm out in the direction of the trailer, indicating that they should go there straight away. Jennie led the way, Lisa following, and Tony bringing up the rear.
Jennie opened the door to the trailer and stepped up into it, looking around it to see if anyone else was there, before thanking Tony and closing the door behind her and Lisa.
Lisa turned to look sheepishly at Jennie, who moved forward immediately to engulf Lisa in a hug, almost squeezing the air out of Lisa with the force of it. Lisa dropped her bag on the floor and returned the hug, burying her face in Jennie's neck, letting the warmth of her body surround her and blow away the dust from her mind. She felt Jennie brush her lips softly against her cheek in a gentle kiss.
Jennie drew back and cleared her throat. "Hi," she said, holding on to Lisa's hand, but her smile was reticent. Lisa had never seen Jennie wearing so much makeup, and it just made her miss what she'd come to think of as her version of Jennie all the more.
"Hi," she replied, her voice sheepish.
Jennie's smile became slightly brittle, and Lisa felt her stomach drop. Jennie stepped back, walked over to the cabinets, and busied herself with making coffee for them. Lisa shook her hands out, suddenly feeling like she had nothing to say, now that she was here and dealing with her drunken decision. She cursed the cider she'd drunk the night before once again.
"Lisa... it's not that I'm not happy to see you," Jennie said in a strained voice, "but I- what are you doing here?"
Lisa blew out a breath. "I just wanted to surprise you."
"Well, you've certainly done that, and not only me," Jennie muttered, handing Lisa her coffee and tipping three sugars into her own before stirring it.
"I missed you," Lisa blurted out.
Jennie sighed and indicated that Lisa should sit down on the sofa. She did, and Jennie sat a little bit away from her, putting her coffee on a coaster on the end table. She was nearby, but not next to her, and Lisa felt unsettled.
She knew she'd sprung her presence on Jennie, and every passing minute since getting on the plane, she'd felt more and more that it wasn't the best action she could've taken. Jennie would've surely been done with shooting soon and she would've been freer. But she'd missed Jennie far more than she'd expected to, almost as if what she was feeling was beyond like.
"I missed you too," Jennie said simply, giving Lisa a gentle look before the sharper lines returned to her face. "You have no idea how much I missed you, but Lisa... I asked for some time, and I'm at work right now, and I don't have time-"
"I know, I'm really sorry," Lisa interrupted. "I just missed you more than I thought I would, and I got drunk last night, and Jisoo put this idea in my head. I booked it without even really thinking. I shouldn't have-"
"No, you shouldn't have," Jennie cut across her, her voice quiet, and Lisa flinched. Jennie leaned across and put her hand on Lisa's knee, rubbing her thumb against the material of her pants. "Like I said, it's really not that I'm not happy to see you, but Lisa, I'm working. We're coming to the end of the shoot and we're all very busy. And you've just... shown up and they don't know who you are, and they're all going to be wondering about my mysterious visitor and I'm not sure what to tell them. And now that you're here all I want to do is spend all of my time with you but- but I... but I can't. I'm not sure what you were expecting, but we're leaving tonight for another short shoot in the Moab before heading back to the studios, and it would be different if you were my... if we were- but we aren't. I'm trying to sort this all out Lisa, darling, I promise I'm trying, but I'm not there yet."
She was right. Jennie was right, Lisa chastised herself. She shouldn't have just shown up here. And what was she expecting anyway? Jennie to drop the shoot just to spend time with her? They hadn't discussed anything much beyond their daily lives in the last few weeks. Lisa didn't even know what Jennie was thinking about doing in regards to her the rumors about her sexuality. She really, really should've ignored Jisoo last night.
"You're right," Lisa said. "I'm sorry, Jennie."
Jennie sighed again, and shifted closer to Lisa on the sofa. "I know. And I wish I could spend time with you, but I also need the time I asked for to work on... everything. I know we haven't had a proper chance to discuss it but Lisa, the photos of me at your home, the rumors circulating about my... you know, I see all those Instagram comments. My team sends me the pertinent comments made on the internet by the news groups and gossip magazines. Potentially, this is the end of my career, such as I know it. It would change the roles and trajectory that I've been on. I've been doing a lot of soul-searching in the last few weeks." Jennie leaned against Lisa on the sofa, and Lisa hesitantly wrapped her arm around Jennie's shoulders, reveling in the contact.
"I think I'm... I've been taking a blanket and sitting out under the stars in the Moab in the evenings, if I'm able. It's been a bit cold, but I've taken a blanket and sat under the stars. The stars are so clear there, Lisa," she said wistfully, tucking her feet to the side of her calves. "They're helping me put things into perspective. I've been trying to think about what's really important to me in the long run. The speculation about my sexuality has never really gone away, and the recent photos of me have exacerbated them to the point where I- I think I have to make a choice. But it's a hard choice to make. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I'm going to lose something huge either way. When you... boil it down to the absolute basics, it comes down to the starkest choice – my career and all I fought for and against, or my private life. Either way, my private life will be in the news for a very long time regardless of what I choose. And by extension, anyone that I'm... anyone I'm dating will be exposed, too."
"You sound like you've made a decision, or are coming close to one," Lisa said, her breath catching in her throat. Lisa's heart had been sinking further and further into her boots the longer she sat there. Jennie's words were almost like a physical pain. She knew she hadn't brought the press to her door, but the pain they were causing with their photos was palpable in every word Jennie spoke. Her voice was low, sad, and lacking all of the quiet confidence that usually ran through it.
The thought that Jennie thought that she was having to make a choice between her career and her private life was so unfair. Lisa understood what she was trying to say, and what Jennie was not saying. She was weighing up her career against her love life. Against Lisa. And Lisa felt awful about it.
"I think I have," Jennie murmured, looking at Lisa intently, her cat eyes sad. As she went to say more, someone knocked insistently at the trailer door.
"Miss Kim?" the voice said.
"Just a moment," Jennie called out, and then huffed out a frustrated breath before looking back at Lisa, who was trying very hard to keep her thundering heart from bursting out of her chest.
"I'm sorry, but I need to get back," Jennie breathed, frustration and irritation passing over her face before it was replaced by what Lisa could only describe as heartbreak. She felt tears well up in her eyes as Jennie stared at the coffee cup in her hands, twirling it round and around. Jennie looked up at her, and Lisa's own heartache must've shown on her face, because Jennie reached a hand up to her cheek and cupped her face. Her touch was tender, and Jennie rubbed away a tear that fell from Lisa's eye with her thumb.
"Lisa, I-"
"It's okay," she said, although it really wasn't okay. Not at all. She felt sick. "It's okay. I'll just... I'll just go back to New York. I'll see if I can change my flight," she choked out.
"Lisa..."
Lisa sniffed and reached her hand up to cover Jennie's on her face, linking their fingers as best as she could.
"I just need more time," Jennie said desperately. "Please?"
Lisa nodded, not trusting herself to speak, but keeping eyes fixed on the intense green ones that. Jennie seemed to be struggling with something, hesitation on her face, before she leaned in and kissed Lisa with the faintest of brush of her lips. "My makeup," she murmured, taking hold of Lisa's hip with her free hand. "I can't mess it up."
Resting her hands on Jennie's waist, Lisa pulled Jennie close to her, and the sigh Jennie breathed against her neck was enough. It had to be enough.
The knock came again at the trailer door, and Lisa jumped away from Jennie as if she had been burned. Jennie cleared her throat, before glancing at Lisa once more before opening the door to reveal a woman with a headset on. One of the directors, Lisa figured. "Are you ready, Miss Kim?" she asked, casting a look in Lisa's direction before snapping her eyes back to her star.
"Yes. My apologies, Roni. My friend Lisa here dropped by to give me something," Jennie lied without a trace of the emotion that had colored her voice for the last ten minutes. Lisa was almost shocked at the change, but tried to keep the surprise off her face. Jennie was, after all, an actress.
"Ah okay," Roni said, before turning to Lisa and holding her hand out. "Hi, I'm Roni, the assistant director. Jennie doesn't usually have people visit her on set, but any friend of hers is welcome." Lisa shook Roni's hand, and Roni stepped back. "We're just going to be on the main set in the hallway," she said, beckoning them both.
Lisa shot a questioning look over at Jennie, who held a hand out to say she should follow. They walked through the doors of the Planetarium, and Jennie reached over and laid her hand at the base of Lisa's spine as she held the door open for her. Before she let go, Lisa felt Jennie rub her hand up and under her shirt, moving gently against her skin before letting go of her entirely. Lisa felt the loss immediately, but there was nothing she could do. They were now surrounded by people, rushing everywhere. Jennie walked ahead of her with Roni and back to her job, leaving Lisa behind with a security guard, who stopped her from going any further.
As she was watching Jennie walk away, a sound assistant passed her a set of headphones so that she could listen in to the scene being shot. Lisa didn't feel like she could refuse, so she took the headphones and followed the sound assistant over to Jennie's chair. Seeing her name on the back of it jolted something inside of Lisa, and she took in the book bag that Jennie had left on the chair. Absently, she wondered which books she'd cared enough about to carry to the set, but she didn't touch it.
The headphones fit snugly over her ears, and Lisa could hear Jennie talking as if she was right next to her, rehearsing the dialogue with another actor. Lisa recognized the dialogue from when they had been practicing it in her lounge at home, and it made her smile. Rosé and Jennie had been acting it out, holding up empty kitchen rolls as stand-ins for laser swords. Privately, she thought Rosé had done a better job than the other actor, a tall male who Lisa remembered from a TV show she'd watched years ago; she also recalled that he'd been a little bit of a creep and she didn't like him being next to Jennie.
"So, who was that girl who showed up?" he asked Jennie suddenly.
Jennie flipped a page of the script and made a small note in the margin, not looking at him. "She's a friend, Matt," she said, her tone not giving anything away.
"Uh huh," he replied, obviously thinking that he knew more than she was letting on. "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm sure," Jennie said, irritation creeping into her voice.
"Do you want it to be more than friendship?"
Lisa watched as Jennie calmly put the script down on a nearby table and fixed Matt with a barely concealed glare. "Matt. She is a good friend of mine. Just a friend. She came to visit me as a surprise, and that's all. I can see that you're hoping for another answer, but that's the truth."
Just then, Roni wandered over to them and started to discuss changing the angle at which they were going to shoot the scene, and Jennie's eyes flicked over to where Lisa was standing, giving her a slight smile before turning her attention back to Roni. At this point though, Lisa really felt like she'd had enough. Just a friend. She smiled her thanks at the sound assistant and handed the headphones back to her.
She walked back towards the exit, and nobody stopped her. Her thoughts were on Jennie. She had a lot to think about, and so did Lisa. Seeing her this briefly had hurt, and although she hadn't had any unrealistic expectations about spending time with Jennie, she was upset that they wouldn't be able to hang out, regardless. She missed Jennie very much, and this distance... sucked. As she pushed the door open and felt the heat of the day wash over her, Lisa didn't see the cat eyes that followed her out of the door until it shut behind her. Just a friend.