I woke up the same way I had for the last eleven days, with Ceci nestled against me. We'd agreed to take things slowly, but our need to spend as much time together as possible led us to allowing sleepovers, albeit sexless ones.
She had school, so each day she would go to the U of T campus, returning to my condo when her classes were done. When she had work to do, she'd sit at my dining room table while I did something quiet to keep from distracting her.
Every moment of her free time was spent with me as we tested out our new relationship. It was different, but in the best possible way.
Before this change, we had our friendship which had been solid since we were children. I always clicked with her in a way I never had with any other friends. I could let my guard down and be myself without fearing judgment or ridicule. Of course she sometimes called me out on my bullshit, but it was always deserved.
We also had our sexual relationship, which I'd managed to compartmentalize from our friendship. On a stormy afternoon while we watched the lightning flash over the Toronto skyline, Ceci explained that she'd had trouble separating the two things. She said she couldn't help but develop romantic feelings for me when we were sharing intimacy. Somehow I was able to have those feelings when we were together, but ignore them when we were apart. We had a long talk about how that was a pretty toxic way to deal with my emotions.
It was an adjustment to live with someone who was no longer just my friend. I'd been so used to only showing her physical attention when we were in a hooking-up phase of our relationship, so being able to hold her and kiss her at any point was a revelation. I took full advantage and frequently grabbed her and covered her in kisses or picked her up so that I could hold her tight. I wanted to touch her all the time.
It wasn't just physical affection that felt different. That first day, after we'd decided we were going to see if this could work, she'd stayed for dinner. We'd made Kraft dinner, and afterwards we were cleaning up. I looked over at her as she rinsed off the bowls before putting them in the dishwasher and realized I could see myself doing this with her for the rest of my life. That's how comfortable it felt.
Ceci stirred in my arms so I knew she was waking up. "Good morning," I said softly as I peppered the back of her shoulder with kisses.
"Mmmmmm. Every morning is good when I wake up like this," she replied with her sexy just-woken-up voice. "I get the best sleep here."
"You're welcome to stay in my condo while I'm gone. I kinda like the idea of you keeping my bed warm for me."
She rolled over so that we were facing each other. "It's you that helps me sleep, and I wish you hadn't reminded me that you are leaving today."
"This is just a quick trip to L.A. If you didn't have school I'd bring you with me."
"That wouldn't really fit with our plan to keep things on the down-low for a month. We'd be photographed together at the airport and all hell would break loose."
"Sometimes I hate being famous," I grumbled.
"Have you thought any more about how you'll tell Brian? I mean...if we decide we're doing this past our test drive."
"No. I think the only option is to be honest and to apologize if it hurts him. I'm still not sure if we need to come clean about our long-standing sexual relationship."
"Shawn, I think that if we take this step, we need to proceed with truthfulness, and I don't just mean with our friends and families. You and I need to always be honest and open with each other," she said. "As friends, we could tell each other anything. That's how it should be if we're a couple."
"At what point do we stop saying 'if' about what we have?" I asked. "I know we're waiting a month to tell anyone, but this has been the best eleven days of my life, and I'm a hundred percent sure I want us to continue like this."
The smile that appeared on her face made my heart do a flip flop. I was so fucking crazy about this girl.
"Why don't we use the time that you're in Los Angeles to decide. It's really easy when we're here snuggling in bed to imagine a future together, but the test will be if we feel the same way when we're apart."
"Makes sense to me," I said. "While we're on this subject, I'd like to put an idea in your head. I go back on tour in less than two weeks, and you're done with classes soon after that. Why don't you join me when the semester ends?"
She wagged her finger at me. "We're not making plans until you get back."
After giving her a kiss on the nose, I climbed out of bed and got into the shower. Part of me hoped Ceci would join me, but if she did, we'd do more than we were currently permitted to do. When I was done, she was no longer in bed, so I followed my nose to the smell of bacon cooking in the kitchen.
"I thought I'd give you a proper send-off," she announced proudly.
Her hair was up in a messy bun and she had on her tortoise shell glasses. As she made pancakes, she danced to the music playing over the Bluetooth speaker. Given that she only had on one of my thin t-shirts and panties, it was a pretty sexy dance. I was sure she knew I was enjoying it considering my erection was hard to hide behind the white towel I had wrapped around my hips.
"Go get dressed," she said as she waved the spatula at me.
I returned a few minutes later and found a plate waiting for me. I got a coffee and sat down while she made herself a couple pancakes.
"Delicious," I lied after I took a bite once she'd taken her seat.
She bit a piece of pancake and tried it. "Delicious is a stretch. I think they are edible at best."
"You made them so I love them."
We cleaned up the kitchen and then cuddled on the couch until it was time for me to finish packing. Before long, she was dropping me off at the airport.
"Stay at my place," I urged as we sat in the car outside the entrance.
"Maybe one more night, though I'm sleeping on your side since it smells like you."
"It's good I like you enough to not mind you drooling all over my pillow case."
She looked horrified. "You've noticed I drool?"
"Um...yeah. There's a wet spot on your pillow every morning."
"Ew. Sorry. What a lovely thought to leave me on!"
"I really hate that I can't kiss you goodbye," I said as I looked out at all the people coming and going from the busy airport.
"You'll just have to make up for it with the kiss you give me when you return."
"I'll call you when I land."
"I look forward to that. Make an amazing music video!" she said happily.
I got out of the car and grabbed my bags from the trunk before giving her a quick wave.
When I landed at LAX, I sent Ceci a text before finding my driver. He took me to the house where I was staying, and once I got there I called my mum. After talking to her, I called Ceci and remained on the phone with her for over an hour. She wanted me to give her a video walk-through of the house since all architecture thrilled her. I only got off the phone because I had plans to meet Andrew for dinner.
The next morning, I was up early because I had a seven o'clock call for hair and make-up. Andrew appeared as I was changing into the jeans and shirt that I was wearing for the first scene.
"I almost told you this last night," he said with a wide grin, "but I decided the surprise should wait until this morning."
"What surprise?"
"The actress who was going to play your love interest fell off a skateboard and broke her wrist. We made some calls and found the perfect person to fill in."
"Who?" I asked.
"Fiona! She was wide open and was really excited to jump in at the last minute. I figured this might be easier for you since it's a pretty sexy video. You have an established comfort level with her, and the chemistry would be genuine."
Dread filled my stomach like cement. Fiona was the last person I wanted to see. I hadn't told Andrew about Ceci, so as far as he knew, I was still pining away for my Irish lover.
"Great, um, is she here now?" I queried.
"She's in her dressing room. You're filming some scenes without her first, so she had a later arrival time."
I followed Andrew onto the set and listened to the director as he did a run-through. My song was about meeting a stranger and having a no-strings one night stand, so the video was going to follow that story. Most of it would be in black and white but the sex scenes would be in full color. Careful editing would be employed to make sure it wasn't too steamy, but the director, a young avant-garde guy straight out of film school named Rob, insisted that the raw footage be very sexual. Fiona would be virtually naked and I'd be wearing only my boxers for those scenes.
I spent a couple hours filming the initial scene where I was sitting at a bar. The extras were all really nice and everything went pretty smoothly. I ran to the food table to grab a snack during a five minute break, but when someone's arms snaked around my torso, I was so startled that I almost dropped my piece of fruit.
"Oops!" Fiona said when I turned around to face her. "That's quite a big banana you've got there."