Brian and I carried the last two cases of beer up from my car and set them on the counter next to the six bags of ice.
"We just need to get these in the coolers and dump the ice on top," I said.
"Out on the terrace?" he asked.
"Yeah, that works."
Once we'd done that, I went to my room and changed out of sweats and a t-shirt into a Yves St Laurent button down and black jeans that I'd cut off at the bottom.
"Ceci is definitely coming?" Brian asked when I joined him in my living room.
"Yes. She texted me this afternoon to say she'd be here."
"And she's still single?"
"I think so. We've talked a few times since the big break-up and she's never mentioned anyone new," I said.
"Tonight's my night. I can feel it. I'm not going to get too drunk, I'll bring up clever topics that will impress her, and maybe you can let it drop that I'm doing an incredible job on tour."
"You know what the key to getting someone to fall in love with you is? It's being yourself and not trying too hard."
He cocked an eyebrow. "Is that right? How's that method working out with Fiona? Last I saw she was still with Vince, supporting him while he was in rehab for his Adderall addiction."
"I'm pretty sure she was supporting my dick with her mouth during those five days she spent with me in London last month while he was locked down at that facility," I countered.
"Touché," he said as he did a slow clap. "But please don't be so crude when my sweet Ceci gets here."
The whole Fiona thing was a total mess. I kept hooking up with her with hopes it would turn into something more, and she kept going back to Vince. She swore that it was ending, but then something always got in the way. Most recently it was his drug problem. At the end of our time together in London last month, she'd said that dumping him when he was vulnerable could cause him to relapse. I'd told her that I understood that, but until she was ready to just be with me, I was done. I hadn't heard from her since, which led me to believe that she'd decided to stick it out with him.
Hours later, my condo was filled with my closest friends, minus one.
"She's not coming," Brian said as he sat down next to me at the kitchen counter.
I pulled my phone out of my pocket and checked again to see if she'd texted. Nothing. I was debating whether I should message her when there was a knock at my door. One of the guys opened it and there was Ceci.
"Cecilia!" Matt bellowed as he hugged her. "How long has it been?"
"Too long," she replied with a warm smile.
I got up and walked over to greet her. "I started to think you might not show up."
"Sorry...I was at the design lab again. I should just give up the lease at my apartment and live there."
She looked a little tired but she was still beautiful. Her hair was shorter than usual, hanging barely past her shoulders. She had on black leggings and a baggy long-sleeved U of T t-shirt, which made me think she'd come straight from campus.
"Can I get you a drink?" I asked. "There's beer and a wide variety of booze."
"I could really use a beer."
There was a hint of sadness in her eyes. Had that fucker Adrian broken her heart?
We stepped out on the terrace so she could choose her brand of beer. It was chilly, so everyone was inside, and I took advantage of the privacy.
"You okay, Ceci?"
"Hmmm...do you want the short answer or the long one?"
"How about the short one now. You can stay after everyone leaves and we can talk then."
"I could really use a friend to talk to. I'm okay, but I'm not great."
We went back inside, and over the next couple of hours the party dwindled down to just seven people. Matt and Ian, plus their girlfriends, were still here, as were Brian and Ceci. We were sitting in the living room after a couple of us had shared a joint on the terrace. No one was high or drunk, but we were all feeling pretty relaxed. Somehow the topic of conversation had turned to sex.
"I read an article for a psych class last semester that discussed how women and men remember sexual encounters differently," Ian said.
"What the fuck does that mean?" Brian asked.
Ian shot him a dirty look. "I was going to explain before you interrupted. Anyway...the gist of this theory is that men don't necessarily grade each encounter or remember them according to who was best. They tend to remember how hot the girl was and what she was willing to do."
"How is that not grading them?" I asked.
"Your brain remembers 'hot blonde, willing to suck dick as much as I wanted,' but you don't really focus on how good the blow job was," Ian explained.
"Hold up...is there such thing as a blow job that's not good?" Matt interjected.
"Some are definitely better than others," I said.
"So what about women's memories?" Ceci asked.
"Women can tell you how their partners were down to the smallest detail. The article asserted that most women can also identify the person who was best and worst in bed," Ian told everyone.
Rose, Matt's girlfriend, nodded enthusiastically. "That's completely true. I have friends who even keep a ranking."
"What?" Brian choked. "That's terrible! Men don't deserve to be judged that harshly."
Ian's girlfriend, Yasmin, threw a pillow at him. "Don't assume all our partners are men. I've been with both men and women and I'm equally critical of both."
Matt looked around at the women in the room. "Is this true? Can you immediately recall who your best and worst partner was?"
Rose raised her hand. "Yup. But I'm not going to share."
Yasmin nodded. "Same, but me either."
Ian and Matt both looked uncomfortable. They were probably worried about which category they fell into.
Brian turned to Ceci. "How about you?"
She laughed. "Oh yeah. Easily. I don't even mind sharing since no one here knows either of them."
That meant that I wasn't her best. My pride shriveled up like a raisin at that realization. Although it also meant I wasn't her worst, so I guess I had that going for me. I hated Ian for bringing this topic up.
"Start with the worst and tell us why!" Rose said enthusiastically.
"The worst was a guy I'll call F. We were camping with friends and hooked up. There were other tents near us, so beforehand we'd discussed how we'd need to be quiet. Turns out that wasn't an issue. He was done in maybe thirty seconds and at no point did I feel the urge to let out even the tiniest whimper. He was like a jackrabbit, and I got the sense he thought that was hot. He never attempted to get me off so I took care of my own needs after he fell asleep."
Ah. So the tent guy was terrible. That made me smile to myself.
"Go queen!" Yasmin said as she high-fived Ceci. "I believe in getting off even if the other person isn't involved."
Ian looked at her. "Wouldn't it be better to tell your partner what you need?"
"I didn't mean you, babe, so relax. You're right that ideally partners communicate, but let's be honest...that doesn't usually happen with a hook-up."
"Who was your best, Ceci?" Rose probed.
"One guy has been far superior to all others," she replied. "We'll call him A. I won't go into any details, but I was never left unsatisfied, mainly because he was a real giver. His stamina was beyond compare, too."
A? Who the fuck was he and what was he doing that was far superior to what I'd done? That's when it clicked. Adrian started with A. My heart sank into my stomach as I felt a strange combination of jealousy and inferiority.
"I've been told I'm a giver," Brian said. "On more than one occasion."
"Congrats," Rose said dryly.
Before long, everyone started yawning and it was obviously time for the party to wind down. The two couples left first, and I was pretty sure both guys would be working extra hard to please their girlfriends after our sex conversation.
"Want to share an Uber?" Brian asked Ceci as he started towards the door.
"I would, but I'm staying to talk to Shawn. I need his shoulder to cry on about my break-up," she said.
"Do you need two shoulders? I can hang a little longer," he said.
"That would actually be four shoulders, and while I appreciate the offer, I think I'll be more comfortable if it's just him."
"Okay. Cool. See you later," he said while walking to the door.
"Call me tomorrow," I said before he left. Then I turned to Ceci. "Can I get you anything?"
"I would love a glass of red wine if you've got any."
"Coming right up," I told her as I opened one of the high cabinets and grabbed a bottle of Merlot.
Once we were settled on the couch, she told me about Adrian and why they broke up, describing when she spotted him in a coffee shop on campus kissing another girl.
"Turns out he'd been cheating on me the whole time," she said bitterly. "We'd been dating five and a half months, which I know isn't that long, but I thought we had something pretty great. He was my first serious boyfriend so for him to betray me hurt a lot. It also makes me question what I wasn't providing him with that he had to seek out in another person."
"Shit, Ceci. I'm sorry. I had no idea that's why it ended. You shouldn't be having those thoughts, though. It's not that you're lacking anything. You're amazing in every way. He's just a shitty person."
"I just want to be at the top of someone's list. You know? I want to be their priority. I want to be who they dream about," she said sadly.
"I'm pretty sure you're all that and more for Brian," I joked.
"You know I feel terrible that he still likes me, right? I am so conscious to never send him any signals, but he won't give up."
"Me and the other guys have told him he needs to let go of his crush on you, though honestly it's almost an obsession. He won't listen. Sometimes I think he clings to it because it's easier than trying to start a real relationship with someone attainable."
She let out a laugh. "I'm hardly unattainable. That makes me sound way better than I'm an."
"Like I said, you're amazing," I told her as I reached to brush a strand of hair out of her face.
"Thanks for thinking so," she said while resting her head against my shoulder.
After a few minutes of quiet, which I spent reflecting on the sex talk earlier, I felt compelled to ask a very loaded question. "Hey, Ceci...what did A, who I'm guessing is Adrian, do in bed that I didn't?"
She bolted upright. "What?!"
"You said he was the best. In fact, I believe you said he was 'far superior' to everyone else. I won't lie and say that didn't hurt me, but I figured I could learn from this."
"You're kidding, right?"
"No. Although if I'm being completely honest, I also think that in the name of fairness I should get another shot to see if I can do better. It's been a long time since we were last together. Maybe I've improved."
"You...you want me to have sex with you so just that you can try to be the best fuck I've ever had?" she asked incredulously.
"It sounds stupid when you put it that way, but yeah."
"Did you want to have sex with me before that conversation, or is this just a matter of you needing your ego stroked?"
I couldn't hold back the smirk that formed on my face. "I always want to have sex with you."
"You know what? I could definitely use a good fuck. Go ahead and give it your best shot," she said before standing up and walking to my bedroom.
After sharing that we'd both been tested recently, I started off by employing my oral skills. I licked and sucked and teased until she was screaming my name, which made me think I was off to a strong start.
I wanted to fuck her in the way that she'd enjoy the most. I knew that doing it from behind was the deepest, and always made her cry out the loudest, but when we were facing each other, there was an emotional intensity. For me, that outweighed the physical aspect, and I hoped that it was the same for her. I got between her legs after putting on a condom and slowly eased into her. Then I took one of her legs and hooked it over my shoulder before leaning forward to kiss her deeply as I moved in and out of her core. Apparently this did the trick because orgasm number two came fast. I then lowered her leg and slowed my pace as she recovered. I followed the clues her body gave me and gradually worked back up to a feverish pace, causing sweat to drip off my body onto her breasts and stomach. I couldn't hold out much longer and desperately wanted her to come one more time, so I used my fingers on her sensitive nub until she exploded again, with my own release following seconds behind.
Completely spent, I collapsed onto the mattress and pulled her onto me.
"Jesus," I muttered. "Please tell me that was better than A."
That's when she started to giggle uncontrollably, shaking in my arms.
"What's so funny?"
"You're so dense sometimes," she said. "You are A, Shawn!"
"But you made a point to say no one knew the people you were talking about!"
"Could I have said otherwise? It would have been pretty suspicious if I said one of them was sitting in the room."
"You could have said nothing! I thought you were trying to make it clear that you weren't talking about me. For fuck's sake, Ceci, that was cruel!" I told her.
"Sorry, but look at the end result. I think we both benefitted nicely from my deception."
"Oh yeah? Well I think you owe me another round or two," I said as I rolled on top of her again.