When Andrew and I set the schedule for the Illuminate tour, we'd made sure to include a short break around my birthday. Conveniently, my two following shows were in Toronto.
Nineteen is a big birthday in Ontario since that's the drinking age. Those lucky fuckers in Quebec could drink at eighteen, but my home province was slightly stricter.
It's not like I hadn't been drinking for years, though. I'd started pretty young, which wasn't uncommon in Canada. I remember learning in school that eighty percent of Canadian teens reported drinking before the age of sixteen. They also told us that in the United States only fifty-eight percent of teens drank before turning eighteen, probably to make us feel bad. It was hilarious when Brian raised his hand and said that the reason for the difference was that we were just a lot more honest than Americans.
I had enjoyed being able to drink legally in Europe during the first leg of my tour. I didn't overdo it often because it could impact my performances, but I liked being able to order a glass of wine with dinner or a beer in a pub.
For this milestone birthday, I'd rented out the rooftop lounge of the Thompson Hotel which was coincidentally only a couple blocks from the condo I'd recently purchased and would be moving into soon. My party would be a nice introduction to my new neighborhood.
"Be honest with me," I asked Ceci as I modeled my outfit for tonight. "Does this look okay?"
We were in my suite at the hotel. I'd reserved a dozen rooms for other people to crash in, Ceci being one of them. I was hoping, however, that she'd be staying with me. We hadn't seen a lot of each other since I'd started my tour in April, and we texted infrequently. When I was back home between legs, she'd kept her distance. We were together at parties and family stuff, but she avoided being alone with me for more than a few minutes. I'd started to think that our last time together really was the last time and that she'd actually meant that we were done, though she'd never truly meant it in the past.
But then I'd gotten home yesterday and had called her to see if she wanted a hotel room, and we'd stayed on the phone talking for hours, during which I'd invited her to help me select an outfit. As the conversation went on, I'd been a little flirty with her, and she made no attempt to shut me down. We'd have to play it cool at my party, but it would be easy enough for her to sneak into my room after the celebration came to a close.
Ceci looked me up and down and then walked around me in a circle. "It's fine."
"That's not very enthusiastic!"
"I'm not completely sure about pairing a Hawaiian shirt with black skinny jeans. Shorts might look better."
I made a face. "Shorts? I don't want to look like my dad!"
"Manny is a good looking man. Don't shit on his style," she said with the wag of a finger.
I unbuttoned my shirt and then pulled it over my head before undoing my jeans.
"Woah there...if you're switching outfits you can go back in the bathroom," she said.
"I'm not switching. I am wearing this one because I dig the shirt and you know I love my black jeans. I am taking them off until it's time to go, because I need to jump in the shower first. And Ceci, you've seen it all before. I don't see what the problem is."
"True, but I don't plan on seeing it again, remember?"
My hopes for spending the night with her started to plummet. I needed to pull out the big guns, although maybe gun was more accurate.
"How many times have you said that and how many times have we ended up fucking again?" I asked. I then casually slid my jeans down my legs leaving me only in my very tight boxer briefs.
"You're such a manipulator," she said with a laugh. "Do you think showing me your almost naked body is going to make me have a change of heart?"
I stuck my bottom lip out and pouted. "But it's my birthday!"
"Oh my god! You thought we'd hook up tonight, didn't you?"
"Maybe. We had that nice talk yesterday and when I told you I missed you and couldn't wait to see you and get a hug, you didn't act like that was weird. By the way, you never did hug me. Can I get one now?"
"I thought you were just being my best friend when you said that," she said coldly. "I'll hug you tonight at the party."
And then she turned and left.
I definitely hadn't handled that well. In the past, I'd never needed to push things; it was always very mutual and just kind of happened spontaneously. I hadn't read her signals correctly, and then I'd been borderline creepy by stripping in front of her and trying to get her to hug me.
Fuck. I needed to apologize.
Im sorry
Can we talk?
I sat down on the bed and stared at the phone waiting for her to respond, but she didn't text back.
Tossing my phone aside, I pulled down my boxers and walked into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the full length mirror, admiring the slight tan I'd acquired over the summer and my toned muscular body. My hair was a little longer than usual, and I was digging it. I wasn't the only one, either. Whenever I was between a woman's legs, she tended to grab on to my curls. It hurt a little that I hadn't been able to seduce Ceci, especially since it had become so easy to get other women into bed.
I had a birthday party that was starting in less than an hour so I needed to shake off this feeling. Besides, Ceci could have a change of heart later. She'd definitely be thinking about it now that I'd planted the seed in her head.
Two hours later, I was well on my way to being smashed. People kept offering me birthday shots of tequila, and I couldn't say no. I finally moved away from the bar and went to join my best friends from high school who were standing near the window.
"Look at her," Brian said.
I turned and looked in the direction he'd nodded. Ceci was out on the rooftop terrace next to the pool talking to both sets of our parents. Her hair was down and she had on a white off the shoulder cropped top and a long floral skirt with a high side slits. She was stunningly beautiful. She was also pissed at me because other than wishing me "happy birthday" when she arrived, she'd stayed as far away from whatever part of the lounge I was in.
"She looks good," Matt stated. "Our little Ceci is all grown up."
My mom said something and then hugged her. I wondered if I'd get my hug later.
"You know what she is?" Brian asked.
"What?" I responded.
"Cecilia Burroughs is wife material."
"What the fuck does that mean?" Ian laughed.
"It means that she's not the kind of girl you fuck and walk away from. She's the kind you treat with respect and marry. That's why it's good she's never shown interest in me. I can get all my casual fucking out of the way, and then when we're in our twenties, I'll make my move, get her to fall in love with me, and wife her," Brian explained.
"You're crazy," Matt said, "but I do see your point. Ceci is a cut above. It used to annoy me, but now I find her little-miss-perfect demeanor pretty hot."
"Don't you dare even think of trying something with her," Brian growled.
"I've got a girlfriend, dude," Matt said with an eye roll.
"I need a drink," I muttered as I walked away from the conversation.
While I downed a shot of Patron, I felt a hand on my back. I was surprised to see that it was my best friend.
"You've done an awful lot of those tonight," Ceci said.
"It's my birthday and I'm nineteen so it's legal."
"I am aware of both those facts, but you don't want to black out and miss most of your party."
"I'm a big boy and I'll be fine," I told her before dramatically pulling out my phone and looking at it. "You still haven't responded to my text."
"I was planning on doing it in person, but you're too drunk for that. We can talk tomorrow or the next day."
"Or we could talk later tonight in my room," I whispered in her ear, my drunk brain apparently forgetting that this kind of thing was wrong.
"Shawn, please don't do this," she said sadly.
I didn't want her walking away from me again, so I was the one to do it this time.
After cake was served, the party moved down to the lobby of the hotel where there was a bar and dance floor. It wasn't possible to reserve this, so it was full of other people out for a night of clubbing.
I was now drunk off my ass. Ceci's rejection stuck in my craw so I decided to get back at her by making her jealous. I forced a huge smile on my face and danced with practically every girl in the club, often to my own songs since the DJ kept spinning them. I kissed more girls than I could count and invited some of them to come back to the rooftop pool with us. I knew that pictures of me in the water surrounded by hot girls would surface online, but I didn't care.
"Where's Ceci?" I asked Ian as I toweled off. My rental period for the lounge had ended and it was clear the staff wanted us out.
"She left hours ago. It didn't seem like she wasn't having a very good time. You could have paid some attention to her, you know?"
I ignored him and looked around at the people who were left. A pretty brunette was putting her clothes on over the bra and panties she'd gone swimming in, and I remembered her coming on pretty strong out on the dance floor.
I walked over to her and leaned in close. "I need another drink and they've closed the bar. Wanna hit up the minibar in my room?"
She was more than willing to join me.