It's cold and being seated near the toilets means I get to smell the very best of this place. Urine. Shit. The woman opposite me has a scowl on her face that tells me she can smell it too, but she keeps reading the gossip magazine from two years ago. A couple of seats down from her, an exhausted-looking woman sits with her hands constantly rubbing her belly, humming a tune as she does so. I like the tattoo that covers her ungloved hand, and as she catches me staring she puts the other glove back on.
I quickly look away, focusing on the posters on the wall that look new. Prenatal vitamins ads. A domestic violence support group. NHS leaflets on getting the best care for you and your baby. The posters hide the peeling paint and add colour to the steel blue walls. Near reception a light is flickering and as I fix it, I wonder if anyone will notice.
"Erin Bond?" A friendly voice calls out.
The other two women look at me as I quickly stand, tugging my jacket tighter around my body. I can feel their resentment at being called first, nevermind the half-hour wait I'd already endured. The chair I was on rattles back into place and I walk over to the older lady with cats on her scrubs. She looks out of place. Her hair is too clean and well-styled, her smile genuine and she has all her teeth - no tattoos that I can see either. She doesn't match the others at the reception desk.
Doctor Vallerie isn't from this part of town.
"Come in, sit. How are you Erin?" It's warmer in here, and I see the electric heater on the floor behind her chair which makes her sigh. "Sorry, the heating is still out. Maintenance take their time getting down here. Now, let's look at your results."
She clicks away on an old computer that whirs and groans with each request.
"Okay, HCG levels are up, all your other checks have come back clear. Great levels of iron and you're on a prenatal after we talked last?" I nod. "Great! So, based on your pregnancy test and these levels, I'd definitely put you around week six or seven. We'll do a scan in about four, five weeks as you should be around the end of your first trimester then and we'll be able to get a good look at the baby."
She talks quickly, and I get lost along the way.
"Erin?"
"Sorry. Right. I ah, I read HCG levels can go up when there is no pregnancy. Are you sure? I mean, we talked about the implant and-" My head feels light and airy and when she holds my hand I use it to anchor me back to the moment. "Without really knowing my cycle, maybe I'm just ovulating?"
Doctor Vallerie pats my hand before letting go. "Oh honey, I know this was a surprise for you. I don't normally do this, there are only so many scans I can give without charge. If it helps, we can do one now. There won't be a lot to see, but it will confirm the pregnancy."
"What?"
"A good friend of mine runs the clinic down the road. We sometimes do private appointments, while the equipment is being repaired and tested, if you know what I mean." She lowers her voice ever so slightly.
"No. I don't- It's not that, I just." I close my eyes, take a deep breath and force on a smile. "I'll just take the appointment in a few weeks. Thanks!"
"And will the father be coming?" She fishes, casually turning back to the computer.
"He- what? No. Maybe. I don't know if it's his kind of thing." I ramble.
"Erin, if there is no father, that's okay." The look she gives me is one of pure sympathy. I should just roll with it. Erin could be a single mum for all she needed to know.
"There is," I say before I really think it through. "I haven't told him yet."
"Oh, are you planning a big surprise reveal?"
"Oh, I'm planning something." I focus on my boots and I can feel her staring.
"Erin, honey, is there anything else you'd like to talk to me about?"
"No." She slides something across the desk at me and looking at the domestic violence brochure, I just look at it. "No!"
"Honey, I've been here probably longer than you've been alive. I've seen and heard it all. I saw the bruises on your arm when I took your implant out, and you're not the first girl from the right side of town coming down here with a fake name and cheap wig for help." She leans back in the chair, her concern way too much. "I'm not wrong, am I?"
"You are, it's not a cheap wig and this isn't the problem." I push the brochure back to her.
I wonder what she'll think of the other bruises on my leg or what she'd do if I tell her the truth.
These? Oh, that's nothing. I've just been training at an Academy for supernatural guardians and agreed to do a demonstration with my brother on what not to do when you're grabbed from behind by a vampire.
"Then spill the beans. I've got all night." Pretty sure the other two waiting out there wouldn't agree.
"I can't be pregnant."
"Well, I'm willing to bet my car that you are. What's the real problem here? This is a safe place, I'm here for you, and nothing will leave this room. It literally can't, doctor-patient confidentiality."
"We haven't been together for that long. He's older, and there are a lot of people that won't like it." I say slowly.
"Is he married?"
"No."
"Shady ex maybe? Other kids? Your parents don't approve? Drugs?"
"Ah, no. Nothing like that."
"And you sure you're okay?" She not so subtly glances at the brochure again.
"I'm fine."
"Good. Just making sure." Doctor Vallerie sighed, then passed over another flyer. "Then this is for you."
Counselling.
Mental Health Clinic.
"Take this. You don't need a referral from me, you can call those helplines at any time. I am worried about you, Erin. It's a hard time for anyone, and I'm guessing the morning sickness isn't easing from how pale you look. Plus you're down a kilo in not quite a week. You need to look after you, for your sake and the baby."
"Why do they call it morning sickness, when it happens all fucking day?" I groan, which makes her smile.
"Men probably decided on that, because they'd know." She laughs. "Please take these. I don't know your situation, but I'm trusting you that you're in a safe place and you coming here was bad judgment or a second of insanity. Go to your actual doctor. They'll refer you to a great obstetrician and you won't have to keep coming back to a place like this. With no heating, no funds and a receptionist that won't break into your car while you're in appointments. Don't worry, we fired her after the third time."
"The third?"
Doctor Vallerie shrugged. "She was my cousin. Mum still won't stop bringing it up. But seriously, if nothing else, you do have other options. Adoption. The other A word, but let's look at the Counselling first. Promise?"
"I wouldn't- I-." I stop, and just nod, standing up to go.
So did she, after quickly writing something on a card that she handed over.
"Everything aside, I am here for you. I meant it about the scan. Show them this at the reception, Gary will help you out. Sometimes just seeing it, even if it just looks like a grainy dot on the screen helps. Okay?" Unexpectedly she gave me a hug. "You're stronger than you know, Erin Bond. Now, that's us for today. I need to see Melissa before she has that baby girl in the lobby!"
As I walk out the door, I hear them all gasp and excited chatter follows as hot air rushes in from the vents. I throw the card she gave me into the bin and pull my hood up. It's dark and cold, even for this time of year and I take my time walking back to the city. I sense vampires lurking in the alleyways, see the shadows of monsters cross the street. Rowdy, drunken men are already stumbling outside of bars and I watch the demons nearby that are waiting to pounce.
I take a shortcut through the park, my wig disappearing as my alias of Erin Bond vanishes with it. Yet I keep a hood on, my face down and I can't leave everything behind. This part is just all me, as these idiots are about to find out.
"Well, well, what do we have here?" Three vampires step out into the path.
They're all taller than me, big men with sharp teeth and a look in their eyes that makes me smile.
"You might want to keep walking," I warn.
One of them sniffs the air before he licks his lips. "It's one those, Hunters, Roy is always on about."
"Roy doesn't know shit." The one on the left growls. "Look at her."
"One of them, three of us." The lip licker sounds a little too excited about those odds.
"If you attack me, you will be in direct violation of-" I don't get to finish as he lunges. I simply duck and spin, leaving him to stumble past. "The Treaty. If you want to see Roy again, you'll keep walking."
"She thinks she's tough. Fuck The Treaty. We're the ones in charge, no one tells us what or who we can and can't-" The middle guy snarls, and I cut him off mid-sentence.
All three are frozen as I reach inside, seeking their stupid dead hearts and squeeze. They gasp and wheeze, eyes wide as their fear taints the air.
Fucking leeches.
"Enjoy facing-" I was merely going to warn them, and then have them appear in a Council lock up, only the crying and weak shout for help got my attention. "Hello?"
I leave them there, moving away from the path and towards some bushes. There's no hiding my surprise as the girl stumbles out, hand on her neck. Her blood is shiny on her skin, there are cuts on her bare arms and her hands are red.
"Please, help-" I don't hear the rest.
I turn away and throw up the few ginger biscuits I had before my appointment and then just keep on gagging until she's the one asking if I'm okay. She's gone in an instant, somewhere safe at a Council hospital where they will heal her and wipe all of this from her memory.
Lucky her.
The vampires are still waiting, and their fear helps to settle my stomach. For a second, I want to destroy them. My powers are humming through my body, and just when I was about to end their pathetic existence, I heard my name. My actual name, as Cain appears.
"It's your lucky fucking day." I snap at them, then they're gone. "Enjoy jail assholes."
"You're vampire hunting?" There's a level of disbelief there that instantly annoys me.
"Not quite. What are you doing here?"
"It's definitely all or nothing with you isn't it?" He comes closer and stops, looking at my jacket and I pray its blood, not vomit there. "We had plans, you've been blowing me off all week. I came to make sure you were going to turn up."
Plans.
Tonight?
Shit.
"There was a girl," I inspected my jacket. Blood. Thank- "Just, I ah. Let me change."
I'm home, in the toilet throwing up in a second. I use the term loosely as there was nothing other than yellow stuff and I think my small intestine come out. I've barely finished and end up slumped against the wall when Cain's softly knocking on the door. How much did he hear?
"Can I get you anything?"
I'm pregnant. "No. It's okay. I think it was the sashimi I had at lunch."
I force myself up and go out there. He's silent in the corner as I brush my teeth, wash my face, and ditch the jacket.
"I'm sorry, I forgot about tonight." For once, not a total lie.
"Of course you did." Those walls I'd broken down were starting to rebuild themselves. "What were you doing out there?"
"I went for a walk."
"You said you were with Raya, helping with Olivia while Keiran was on a job."
"That was before I went for my long walk." I shrug. "Good thing I did, those vamps were up to no good."
He looked thoughtful for a moment, before coming over. I step back, yet with the cabinet behind me I have nowhere to go. Cain blocks me in; his cologne is possibly the first strong smell I've come across today that doesn't have me heaving. Which is lucky as his hands go on my hips, and he lifts me up to sit beside the sink. Instinctively I reach for him, hold him close as his lips burn against that oh so sensitive spot on my neck. His hands run up my thighs and I feel his fingers at the edge of my shirt as our mouths collide.
I miss you.
I miss this.
I relax against him as his hands roam higher and as we part, breathless and needing more, the words are there for more to say.
I'm pregnant. "I'm- ow!'
"What?" He snaps back as if I'd just slapped him.
"Ow! That hurt." I rub my breast, readjusting the fabric of my bra. Too sore. Too sensitive. "And not in a good way."
He holds his hands up in surrender. "I'm sorry."
"It's okay." I fix my shirt and stand up. "Cain, I need to tell you something."
"What is it?" He comes closer, holding me once again.
I lean into him, willing the words to come back only they don't.
"I thought once the wedding was over, you wouldn't be so busy all the time. Are you mad at me? is it because of the Medusa trip? Elle, I'm sorry. I don't know how many times I can say it and you keep saying it's not that but what else could it be? I think this is the first time we've had more than five minutes together in a couple of weeks. Please talk to me, what is going on?"
I'm pregnant.
"I'm, I'm trying to make up for being away. I missed out on some things, that's all and Raya needs some extra help. I promise, I'm not holding a grudge over the Medusa thing." I took a deep breath, ready to say it but instead- "I was out, on my way to a store Raya likes, to get her some stuff. Come with me, we can grab something to eat after?"
"Okay." It's not a happy okay. It's a giving up kind of okay that makes me hold his hand that much tighter as we go into the store.
There is baby junk as far as the eye can see. A whole department in fact, sectioned into boys and girls, toys and bedding. It's overwhelming and I try to think up something Raya might actually need for this fictional shopping trip to make sense. Women pushing prams past us, happy couples hold up cute outfits over giant belly's, while the not so fortunate argue over cots and prams in other areas.
I stop at some tiny, size New Baby, onesies and inspect them as I had seen others do. They're white, with tiny grey dots all over them - zipper not studs, as Raya burned into my brain when she had Olivia.
"I can't remember Olivia being this tiny." Cain stands behind me, his arms hanging around my middle as his head rests on my shoulder. "What do you think about babies?"
"They're okay. I don't have any issue with them. They do their thing, I'll do mine." I turn to look at him, and he smiles. "I like Olivia?"
"Who wouldn't like Olivia? She is adorable." I see something pink and sparkly, instantly going for it. "But like, would you want an Olivia of your own one day?"
Cain lazily stays attached, the question not throwing him as I thought it might. "I've never really thought about it. Before, I wouldn't have even considered it. If Zeus, Cronus, or worse, Hera ever found out I had a child of my own, well, somethings just aren't worth the trouble or effort. Being stuck here would make it impossible to keep a child safe if they ever did manage to take it."
They were all dead now.
We could go wherever we wanted.
There were still the Fates to consider.
Only then I thought of Kara's loss, her pain that still existed for Astrid. I remember how I felt when Olivia had been threatened last year. Looking at Cain now, there were no restrictions, no rules, nothing to stop him as there had been in the past. In that moment, I saw a glimpse of the future - our future. We would be happy. No creature in all the realms would be stupid enough to even think about taking that from us.
I had nothing to fear.
"And now?" I wonder.
Cain tensed for a second before he shrugged. "Who knows? Ask me again in a hundred years when I may be willing to share you. I already find myself fighting for your time more than I'd like."
I'm pregnant.
We don't have one hundred years, or even one.
"Speaking of time, can we eat yet?" He kisses my cheek, his chin back on my shoulder and arms around my middle.
I'm pregnant.
Instead, I only nod. "Yeah, I forgot what she wanted. I'll come back later."
We walk a few streets down and end up in a small, nearly empty restaurant. The demon at the bar hasn't taken his eyes off us since we walked in, and if Cain noticed he doesn't seem to care. The only other diners are seated near the window, a couple of tables away from us and the smell of the seafood platter they're sharing, makes me want to murder them both.
"You're quiet?" Cain puts down his menu. "What are you having?"
"I'm not that hungry. The sashimi from earlier isn't quite finished yet." And apparently it won't be for about another six weeks. Yay me!
"We don't normally get sick like this, I can try to heal-" He starts.
"No. I'm tired too. Let's just eat and go." The defeated look on his face breaks my heart, and I open my mouth to say it only I don't get a chance.
The demon comes over , his bulk wider than the table. I can't stop myself from tensing, the knife on the table in my hand as he gives a little cough to earn our attention.
"Max, how are you?" Cain greets warmly.
"Thought it was you Darius." As Cain stands, I catch a glimpse of his reflection in the mirror behind him. Cain was gone; my old friend in his place. "Long time no see."
"You know me, I hardly ever stay in one place for too long. Unless I have a reason too." He turns my way and holds out a hand as he motions for me to stand. "May I introduce the lovely Elise Bunting."
Max seems to think this over for a second. "Why do I know that name? Bunting?"
"Descendant of Alistair Bunting." Cain seems to be enjoying himself and Max suddenly lets out a loud, deep laugh that makes everyone look our way.
"He'll be turning in his grave if he knew about one of his with the likes of you."
"Life is good my friend!" Cain cautiously looked my way, but I just smiled and nodded, sitting back down as they had a quick chat about old times. The second we were alone, he dropped the act. "I actually thought he was dead, but love their lamb stew. I wouldn't have come if I knew he was here."
"Good to know, Darius."
Cain shrugged. "I didn't just make enemies, sometimes I made an ally or two as well."
As far as demons went, Max was a kitten. A kitten that had the ability to use his restaurant as a front for moving sensitive items on a demonic black market. It had been done for centuries, and as Darius, he'd used it to supply his bar with blood for the vampire clientele and also locate things he might need.
"What else do they do?"
"Anything. Ancient artifacts, rare body parts. It's impossible to get some spell ingredients in this world, so those in need come to Max." He smirked. "I'm sure Max will be telling our friend Chrysaor about this visit."
"Why do you make it sound like that's a good thing?"
"Now I know Max is still around, and he knows that I know, it's one way very secretive way to keep up with other realm gossips, without needing to go there again. You saw the treasures he kept if anyone is looking for anything that's where they'll go."
I was missing something.
"Why does that matter?"
Cain frowned as he seemed to think something over. He took a long sip of his beer and after cautiously looking around, leaned in close.
"Elise, you have Medusa's sword. It wasn't stolen, it was a gift. She even blessed it. That isn't something some out there will take lightly. In particular, three little bitches that I bet have already been plotting to try and strike their own deal with Medusa."
"I never made a deal with her?"
"No, you didn't have to. Now I know how big a risk I took by taking you there, it would be reckless for them to even attempt to access the caves. It worked out for us, but how big a risk would they be willing to take to do the same?"
"What aren't you telling me?"
He doesn't answer as Max puts down two bowls of lamb stew and a basket of bread rolls. My stomach growls loudly at the sight of the food which makes him laugh again. The smell hits me, but it's warm and delicious.
Please oh please let me enjoy this.
"This was Alistair's favourite too!" Max smacks a big hand down on my shoulder. "Enjoy Hunter."
I do, greedily eating the lot and then some bread. I finish with a not so subtle burp and lean back in the chair completely stuffed. Cain says nothing, yet hides his amusement terribly.
"So, you like the stew?"
"Love it." I freeze, remembering when Mum had done that once and the mystery meat had ended up being from a dragon Dad had killed. "Oh please don't tell me the meat wasn't lamb."
"It's lamb. Glad you've got your appetite back."
"Me too." For now at least. "What were you able to tell me before that happened?"
He slowly wipes his bowl with the bread.
"I'm working on something to keep them away. End this stupid game they seem determined to play. The only other creature they don't seem to like as much, maybe more, than us is Hecate. She crafted that unicorn horn handle and was behind its very creation. I've been looking into other tales I thought could only be fiction for a clue, surely there is something else out there like this Hecate has left somewhere?"
"Why don't we just ask her? Hades can take us."
Cain shook his head. "Too obvious. Most of what we do, they can't see. They'd be watching for something like that and might be desperate enough to go down there, over a trip to see Medusa. Portia knows of Max. What he does. I've been trying to find someone else since being back with no luck, so tonight has actually worked out better than I had planned."
"You don't stop, do you?" I'm glad one of us hadn't.
"One day." He suddenly looked tired again. "I hope."
This time I'm up first, and holding out my hand, he takes it as he stands and I curl myself around him. I'd been so distracted, I hadn't even thought about the Fates other than cursing them for this plot twist in my life. He'd fought against Chrysaor and the Gorgons, without powers, determined to get back to me in those caves at any cost. Still he fought for me, for us and I hated myself for being this weak, unable to tell him the truth.
I didn't deserve him.
But I wanted him.
I needed him.
"One day you will, but until then, please just take me home." I reach up and kiss him, aching to feel him closer as Max chuckles behind me, before inviting us to visit again soon only we're already going.
"Now that's the best thing I've heard all day."