As a child, you assumed that castles hidden inside magic forests meant only one thing: there is a princess who lives there, and one day, will be in need of saving from her prince. It was only when you stopped reading fairy tales that you learned that most castles were actually used as fortress rather than a home.
But in the case of the new headquarters of the Survey corps, the castle in Ehrmich didn't house princesses. Instead, it housed a titan.
You've gone back with Miche before Levi squad's afternoon tea. Petra usually serves whichever finger foods are available in the pantry, (Mostly carrots or none at all.) while Levi took care of the tea. Captain Levi, you noticed, is a picky tea drinker. It's the truth; the guy prefers the better things in life, and even with this simple lifestyle they have, his preference for quality never falls short.
You've gone ahead to the kitchen where the stocks for wound dressings were kept, coincidentally meeting the captain you had just been thinking about.
He briefly glanced at the door before he proceeded to tip over the water jug. You guessed it's time for their frequent afternoon tea.
"Sir?" You approached him. "Do you mind if I get included in the hot water as well? I have to change my wound dressing, you see." You explained as politely as you could. In contrast to the popular opinion, Levi is a reasonable guy. Sure, he snaps, he gets impatient, but he listens to reason and agrees with the reasonable.
You stared at him while waiting for an answer...
And waited.
And waited.
Sheep number one.
Sheep number two.
Sheep number thre-
"What are you staring at?" He sounded confrontational, it intimidated you.
"Well..."
"I got you counted," He simply said while taking out the cups. You swear he's secretly a mind reader. You mumbled your thanks and proceeded to put salt on a basin...
"Sir...?" You treaded carefully, afraid he'll snap at you or something. What was it— he's reasonable, you said? You heard nothing. No 'yeah?' or a grunt or anything that indicated he's listening or at least he heard you.
You just needed one more assistance. Just one more. Wouldn't hurt, right?
"C-Can you uhh... tip the jug for me, please?" You pursed your lips to a hopeful, little smile as you fiddled with your bandages.
He observed you with furrowed eyebrows as if contemplating why he's even putting up with your demands. You gulped and counted the dust in the floor, waiting for him to say anything and release you from this tension of being in the same room as him.
"What for?" And as soon as he said something, you exhaled so loud your shoulders sank low, letting yourself slouch. This man's dangerous. He knows how to keep a lady on her toes!
You were met with a raised eyebrow, as he leaned on the kitchen counter. He had his arms crossed, as one of his hands held a cup of drinking water.
What for-? Right. "To wash my wounds sir." You responded so politely an HR employee would blush. He then responded by putting down his cup, and tilted the jug to put water in your basin. His fringe is straight and you could tell it's been recently washed by the absence of oil. Somehow, his eyelashes are long and thin yet the length goes unnoticed because it's straight. Levi doesn't have a dramatic nose bridge, but his upturned nose suits his small face.
His skin is pasty, despite being on the sun all day. Must've been because of nutrient deficiency—
"Are you gonna stare at me all day, or are you gonna tell me to stop?" You blinked at the sudden
interruption, bringing you back to the kitchen with the guy you just keenly observed.
You just keenly checked out.
"Th-that's fine." You murmured, embarrassed about how you let him catch you. You held the basin close to your chest, only for Levi to grab it from you, and settled it on the counter.
See? He's a reasonable man.
"Anymore?" He asked. Well... there is one more but you don't... think he's the right...man for the job...
You don't want to get on the bad side of this fun-sized human beyblade after all.
"Um..." You met him eye to eye, only for yours to trail over the length of his height. Yup, you don't want to risk asking him for the wound dressing on the top shelf cupboard. That's like rubbing salt to the wound, or mixing sheeps in a pack of wolves.
You could just pretend to wash your wound longer until he leaves then use the stool to grab some gauze in the top shelf cupboard, right?
"None sir." You lied with a straight face. "I'm good."
You leaned beside him on the kitchen counter, while waiting for the water to boil.
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"So Miche came bleeding on his back." You jumped at the sudden conversation.
"He was?" You had to ask if you heard it right. You didn't notice. Where could he have possibly gotten that? It's concerning considering you were last seen with him. "I didn't notice..."
"There was blood on the scrap he brought with him." Oh, that must be—
"He probably got it when he swung the bag on his back." You winced. That was half your fault. Maybe you should go and ask him if needs anything? "I'll go check on..." Levi loosened his grip—
" ...Miche. Is something wrong sir?"
As fast as he grabbed your wrist.
It was almost instinctual, you could tell. Levi Ackerman's reflex is no joke.
"Nanaba already tended to him," He said, "And what more can you do with those fingers? You haven't even cleaned them yet." You looked at the pitiful state of your fingers, realizing you should've put more thought before acting out. You nodded in agreement as he let you go. Yeah, what can you do? Infect his wounds with your dirty, bandaged fingers? Now that your commonsense is working again, you heard the kettle whistle, inviting you to pour out the hot water.
Levi poured the water in the basin while you checked the temperature from time to time. You both thought the water would be enough but Levi ended up pouring all of it, emptying the kettle ready for another boil.
"Sir?" You said, bothering him again. This time he sourly looked at you but nevertheless, waited for you to continue.
"C-Can you spare me some water... again?" You really shouldn't push your luck like this. You pursed your lips in embarrassment, and you totally understand if he's tired with you and your endless owing of favors.
"I-I brought coffee with me, you see." You eyed the bag you've brought with you which contained some of your personal effects. Somehow, you've learned to adjust your palate on the tasteless, diluted coffee they serve for the corps for free, but it just hits differently when you drink the real deal. Besides, you need to pull an all-nighter this time, after taking the measurements of Hange's squad, they need you to tweak their gears as soon as you can.
This time, he didn't pull a face, he just did it without saying a thing. The glugs of water filled the tensed silence that's getting looser the more you spend time with the captain. He's not as dark auraed as people make him out to be. He is, however, unapologetic and blunt about things given their dire situation. He simply has no time for bullshit. The captain is brooding to some extent, but he does attempt to be nice to people in his own way, and usually by their own terms.
He filled the kettle more than he did the last, the clunks of metal against metal temporarily filled the silence between two people awkwardly waiting for the water to boil, without much in common, nor anything to talk about.
So naturally, you both just... stood there on the kitchen counter.
Him, crossed armed; yours, on the side.
Him, drinking his water; you, soaking your hand.
Him, staring at the kitchen wall; you, staring outside.
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"I never liked coffee," he spoke so suddenly, it made you jump. "It just makes sleeping worse." Well for you, that is the point. You thought of something appropriate to say; history of coffee won't interest him, ways to roast coffee won't do either...
"Do you like how it smells sir?" You asked him. He tilted his head, as if trying to remember the last time he drank a cup.
"It's fine... I guess."
"Then I've come bearing good news sir," You chirped, "There are types of coffee that won't affect your sleep schedule." You said, taking your nail-less fingers out of the water, and showing him the things you brought with you.
"For example this," you showed him the dark roast. Just taking out the jar you've put it into, spread the sweet, bold scent of the energizing drink.
"Typically, people think that the darker the roast of the coffee, the more caffeine there is. Turns out that they have the same amount of caffeine as the lighter roast; meaning, the duration you roast only affects the taste and boldness of the coffee, but not it's caffeine content." You showed him another jar, but this time with darker, finer bits.
"This one's rice coffee sir." You handed it to him, giving him the permission to take in the scent. "It doesn't have caffeine but it does have resemblance of the coffee smell if you like that." You watched him open the lid and get a whiff of the sweet, subtly sour, smoky scent, before tendering the jar close to his chest; late of you to notice that you've been touching the back of his hands.
And then struggling to ignore how warm and hard they were.
"I'll give that to you sir, as thanks for helping me with the water." You were delighted to see his subtly widened eyes. His hands are so different from yours. Though calloused, your hands remained supple and soft; feminine.
But his...
You gulped. How long have you been staring at captain Levi, and how long are you gonna hold his hand?
"The water's—" He cleared his throat, snapping you from your thoughts.
"Right." You yelped, instantly letting him go. You re-soaked your hands to the now cool water, keeping your eyes on the basin while hyper aware that he's right there, right beside you so near you thought your chest would burst anytime.
You heard clattering of cups and saucers behind you. Then you heard him leave.
You expected the rice coffee to be left in the counter, or in the table, knowing fully well his preference of drink.
Only that it wasn't.
***
What to do? What to do?
You still have three weeks and two days to figure out some kind of strategy to take on Annie's titan form. And to be honest, you're panicking. How will you take an intelligent titan with a military training since... you don't know— seven?
Phoebe, is this some kind of a watch?
Can you explain how this works?
Why does it has compass hands inside?
Why are there numbers inside?
Can the hands inside really control the flow of the gas usage?
The line of questions Hange dumped on you were like a dam to a storm. It started this morning the moment your squad leader appeared in the castle's mess hall where you worked. Hange was giddy to try it on, so they strived to wait til morning, and you've been drowning in questions ever since.
There's just so much to think about and explaining how valves and regulators work aren't simply on the top of your list. You walked behind Hange, explaining to them the device monitors pressure on the tank and controls the gas usage instead of bursting it in one go. Moblit, their secretary-slash-slave-slash-nagging mother helped you carry all the detachable parts of the gear.
You haven't gotten a wink of sleep, and it's not the coffee that kept you awake.
Captain Levi and his squad were ready to get fitted up, when you saw them waiting outside the castle, bathing on the sunlight—
BOOM!
Well, Eren just ruined a warm, sunny day. Just like in the book, his hand transformed to a titan's because he wanted to pick up a spoon.
A spoon, for fuck's sake, triggered the brave, yet anxious heart of the Special Operation Squad.
"Everyone calm down," Levi drew his blade against his defensive squad members. You can't blame them for being this terrified. If you didn't know what to expect from Eren— the scrawny, lanky boy with expressive green eyes, you would've been that defensive and done the same.
And this time, the expression the boy wore was absolute fear.
"Ereeeen! May I touuuuch iiit?! I can touch it right?! That's okay riiight?!" Oh, classic Hange. You smiled at the free-spiritness of the soon commander, while Moblit followed behind.
Soon enough, Hange will know they can't touch it.
"Ma'am Hange!" Moblit nagged when they attempted to touch the scorching flesh of the skinless titan arm. You settled the gear parts on the table, knocking the squad's piping hot coffee.
And a cupful was poured onto your shirt.
"Fuck!" Was the first thing that came from your mouth. It was hot, damn it, and it didn't help that the shirt clung to your skin. It stings—
Wait a damn minute...
"Eren!" You called. "Do you feel pain when there's skin?" You grabbed a blade from one of the gears, stabbing the skinless titan's arm.
"I do. It's an extension of my arm." You nodded at the boy, after all, if he didn't, he wouldn't feel the tugs in his hair, or Mikasa standing in his shoulder.
"How about when there's no skin? Like this?" You patiently waited for an answer as you deepened the aim of the blade. There's no way he'll feel something without a skin. By human anatomy, skin has nerves, mostly located in the fingertips. So if this analogy applies to Annie, then there's no way she'll feel something around her titan eyes...
"Come to think of it..." Eren took his sweet time to think about it, while you pulled out the blade from the dissipating slab of meat.
What to do, what to do, you asked?
A bomb. You need to make a bomb.
"Oi, no-nail woman, get on with the fitting, time's ticking, lives to save." Your eyebrow flinched at the call knowing exactly who it was, and disappointed by the difference of the version you got of Levi Ackerman from the kitchen, and this Levi Ackerman on the dilapidated courtyard.
You thought you bonded, you even developed a small crush on him, only for him to return to the his default ass hat self.
He strode closer, Petra tailing his captain and Oluo following her behind. The titan muscles almost gone in the air, the grass burned in its pattern. You clapped your hands, not to call for their attention, but for your focus, as it flew out the window when you saw Levi striding towards you. Sometimes, females have these moments, right? It's normal and perfectly human to be attracted to someone, otherwise, the human population would have gone extinct.
"I will have to fit this with the tallest and the short..." your gaze lingered at Levi's, "est... because I need to test the back support if it's comfortable enough not to interfere with the work."
"Miche's not here though. You'll fit his gear when he comes back, okay?" You nodded.
"We'll start with... um..." you can't decide. Levi dared you to continue your subtle insults that honestly weren't directly thrown at him. The situation presented itself and the situation now calls it.
"I'll go. I'm the shortest in the squad so..." Petra raised her hand to volunteer, and there's that tad bit of disappointment, you bit your lip.
"Okay—"
"No, might be dangerous. I'll try it." Levi waved Petra off, wanting to keep her safe. You pursed your lip to keep a straight, professional face, until you got a whiff of his soapy, Iris scent.
You just have to curl your feet inside your shoes, praying no one will be able to tell the difference between a blush, and a person not used with the heat.
Or maybe you're just too sleep deprived you don't know what you're thinking anymore.
Eren's circumstances forgotten, he, like everyone else on that windy afternoon, moved closer as Levi unbuckled his gear. You waited for him to undo all of it, your eyes blankly staring at his chest, exhaustion for straight five nights already kicking in. You don't eat much these days; Miche and Moblit always reminded you to, and still, you forget about it as if it passes from one ear to another. Some people even noticed that you're becoming too thin that you don't need the extra torque in the gear. They teased that it will catapult you faster than Petra or Nifa will, much to your annoyance.
Maybe you'll look forward eating dinner tonight for a change.
"You look so silly, drooling at me as if you'll get a piece."
You snapped at your trance; focus now back to Levi. He was out of his gear, and you have to do your job. As if you wanted a piece! Maybe! Or maybe you're just exhausted, that you stared through him, and he thought you're staring at him!
You're almost at your cognitive limit. You couldn't fully rest after the Battle of Trost which only took place a day after the disbanding ceremony. A few days to a week in the torture cell, two days to rehearse your mock trial, then you immediately hopped to five days straight on this gear fitting. The longest person had stayed awake was eleven days, and no ordinary person would be able to stay sane after so much fighting, torture and non-stop working with the Levi squad's rescue mission chewing up your ass in the span of less than two weeks.
But you couldn't complain. Your work is what's keeping you alive. Besides, it's a good distraction. You haven't seen Thomas or Jean and you don't think you'll ever be ready to face them anytime soon.
"Not at all, sir." You said, pursing your lips as you approached the man. You walked closer; his gear seated at the top of the table. He was close behind you, his eyes watched your hands so carefully as if memorizing where those bolts and nuts go.
Levi bent his knee just beside where you're sitting on the bench.
His thigh lightly brushed your hip.
You stopped working to observe your surroundings. Everyone gathered around which explained the rise in temperature. It was becoming difficult to breathe, given how close they were, and to be honest, it's also starting to freak you out. You understood that this might probably be the first time they see things like these but for the wall's sake...
"All of you, move back."
Levi brought you out of your thoughts. It was then you felt a sting in your finger, the cut not big nor deep, but enough to suggest that you might be shaking quite strongly when you couldn't put the bolt properly, it pricked your finger.
Only then could you inhale another lung of air.
"Sorry..." someone sheepishly apologized.
"It's fine," you didn't bother to know who. You fixed that lost bundle of hair in your ear, a nervous habit of yours began showing, as you finished attaching the accessories.
You've been so aware that his thigh was still brushing your hip.
It didn't feel bad, it just feel... new.
And that freaks you out because you weren't uncomfortable.
You stood, leaving a space between you and him, letting him try the gear you left at the table, and finally have some air to breathe.
"Sir." You said, as his fingers picked up the buckles. As soon as he's done putting the leather straps, you'll have to assist him with the 3DMG.
"Can't reach it." He said, and you were waiting for Petra to volunteer—
"No Petra, let her do it." So you did it for him. He watched you, without turning a muscle in his neck. He watched you, by the mere movement of his eyes. You loosened the straps near the back support and tightened the ones near the gear itself.
"How does this feel sir?" You whispered at his neck.
"Tighter." He mumbled back, and you undid the buckle to readjust it to the next hole.
"This?" You asked, this time he turned to look at you.
"The gear's alright, but the back support doesn't sit right."
"Sir, please conduct a test run before anything else. If I loosened the support, it won't provide any protection for your back anymore." He turned to you now, his torso completely facing you.
You showed him your gear, specifically pointing at the accelerator. "This will make the pulls a lot harsher sir. If it pulls too hard, you'll break your hip." You met his hard stare, realizing that he was merely watching you talk.
Watching your mouth.
"Now if we make the support loose..." You licked your lips— this is too much you thought you're going to die. "If we make the support a lot more flexible..." Is there anything in their world that you can use to make the support more flexible?
"Sir can you lean back a little?" You requested. You bit your lip while piecing ideas of how to do it. Since you don't have much materials to test with, the best you can do is bend the support to the shape of the spine, and put more cushion for the shock? That won't do...
"Just remove this annoying part, and put the support here," he said, a finger tracing an X at the lowest portion of your waist. "Somebody's gonna get killed because they can't move a damn muscle."
Would that be enough? You don't think so.
"Sir, I don't think it'll suffice..."
"That's what test runs are for, isn't it? You'll have to do that with me." You gulped. There was nothing to be said or done of how cocky, yet hot he sounded.
"If anything happens to their gears, your toenails better be prepared."
You nibbled your lip and nodded, somehow forgetting how to speak.
You blinked far too many times than you would've intended before you noticed something. Something. More like you noticed something not there.
Why is it so quiet?
Everyone watched the scene unfold, like they haven't seen Levi talking to someone before. You just took orders from a superior; you were merely fitting the new gear to his liking, so why did it have to be so quiet like they gave you the spotlight for two?
Hange clapped their hands, dissipating the thickening tension by the minute.
"Ookay! Show's over, everyone, unbuckle your gears and let her do the flirting— fitting!"
Everyone immediately unbuckled theirs and formed a line as you did their adjustments gear by gear, while Levi slipped out of the circles with his now cold, rice coffee.
"This will make the pulls a lot harsher sir. If it pulls too hard, you'll break your hip." You met his hard stare, realizing that he was merely watching you talk.
Looking at your mouth.
***