silently and desperately holding on to a thin thread. holding on to "what could have been" or "what can still be." desperately holding on. tears blurred vision over and over again.
questions and statements. thoughts and sadness. overthinking and paranoia. anxiety and tears. signs and sirens. all saying the same thing.
let go.
let go, darling, he doesn't deserve you, you deserve more. LET GO.
but i won't. i don't want to. i can't. i don't know how to. i don't want to, god, i don't want to, but i need to, i need to let go.
another crack. another break. another lie. another tear. another. another. another. again. again.
still silently and desperately trying to hold on, prolly till there's nothing more to hold.
____ ellie a. o.