It's been a month since I caught her in the rain. 30 days. 720 hours. 43200 minutes, all spent thinking about her. I've never been happier in my life. I'm smiling all the time, I can't eat or sleep, I daydream for hours about this girl who's wormed her way into my life in such a small amount of time.
It hasn't always been easy though. She's obviously been perfect, bringing me places, buying me flowers and calling me and all that stuff but hiding something this big and important to me is getting suffocating. It's almost unbearable trying to refrain from grabbing her hand and pulling her into me on the corridors, I have to walk straight by her completely expressionless. I believe she's still in the mindset it's a game; the secretivity. She's a lot more daring with her actions than I could ever be; following me into bathrooms and leaving me notes and other things in my locker, she once even went as far as to fill a janitors closet with rose petals and candles for me. We skipped the rest of that day and stayed there, just enjoying each other. She made me laugh so much that day, and I think that was the moment I knew I was really falling hard for her. It's scary, how deep my feelings run for her and Im going to lie and say I haven't got scared and tried to push her away like I've done in the past. I try to convince myself I hate her but she knows just what to do to get me to melt and fall back into her arms.
I spend most of my free time in her shed with her. It's a really beautiful place, with books of every kind filling the bookcases that line the walls. She's started to teach me guitar and she even taught me to cook a few things. Well pasta and pancakes, but she was still proud.
She lives there alone while Claire and her boyfriend Shane live in the house with the blue stutters. She told me that once she lived there with her mom, step-dad and Claire, they were unbelievably happy until when she was 14 her mom passed away after they discovered a brain tumour. Her step father ended up killing himself a year later when he couldn't cope with the loss.
Claire was 19 at the time and got full custody of Lauren. For a while they really struggled. They had no stable form of income and their house ended up being repossessed. Even though Lauren doesn't like to talk about it much, I could sense it was a really dark time for her. It's when she started to smoke, and she in fact had messed around with drugs.
But one day she realised she was going to end up just like her real father, who was a huge pot head and ran out of town the minute he found out Lauren's mom got pregnant. She cleaned herself up and found out she was extremely intelligent. She has a determined disposition spurring her on to take on two jobs, get her grades up and repair her relationship with Claire. They got the house back but had to rent it until the landlord finally sold it back to them. Claire and Shane moved in and Lauren moved into the shed to give them space. She built up the whole thing herself, adding a second floor and fitting a bedroom, electricity, gas and heating. I could tell she was really proud of this place but she likes to keep it secret, because she's in fact a very secret person by nature. She'll keep to herself and I love there's so much to discover about her.
I love the fact she's let me into her life, let me get to know that she falls asleep in 4 minutes flat and how she 3 different laughs; a giggley one, a loud one, a silent one and a soft chuckle. She loves sweet things over sour, and she's in fact a huge softy, she'd pick a night of cuddling watching movies over going out. All these details I've come to know are completely and undeniably endearing. I adored every inch of her. I can't get enough.
But our bubble was burst last week when Jake noticed a erm-love bite she gave me over the weekend. We haven't gone very far in that department but when things get heated they get heated I mean I almost explode with all the sexual tension, she's just so damn sexy. Her eyes, the way she moans my name, her lips..
Anyway Jake completely freaked out. I've never seen him so mad. We were completely alone in the corridor and while I was getting a book out of my locker my hair fell behind my back exposing my neck and the red mark.
"Mila what the fuck is that?" He half yelled and I jumped at the sudden noise. "What babe?" I said back turning to look at him. "That fucking hickey on your neck! What do you think you're playing at, cheating on me?! You little slut" he yelled as he punched his hand into the lockers. He got up close to my face and my back hit the lockers. Lauren's done this before but her gaze was soft, her hands were tender and I actually enjoy when she invades my personal space now. But Jake was terrifying. His eyes had a horrid fiery look that made me shake and his jaw clenched.
"Jake I swear it-it's a burn from my straightener" I stuttered out. He flared his nose again, looking deep in thought and then quickly grabbed my chin with his monstrously huge hands and jerked my jaw to the side so he could look at the red mark.
"Yeah you better fucking hope it is" he mumbled before shoving my chin out of his hand and turning away stomped down the hall. I didn't know what to do, I was in so much shock. He'd never been like that before with me ever. I mean he wasn't the gentlest person I know but he's never been so rough.
I knew I couldn't tell Lauren. When it comes to me she's like a protective lion with her cubs. Once we were out for dinner and some guy started jeering at us while we waited for a taxi outside. She automatically wrapped her arms around me and yelled something about the guy having a small dick while rubbing soothing circles at the bottom of my spine which I love. I could see she was angry all the way home but she was still gentle and perfect as ever with me. If she knew Jake even touched me she'd rip his head off. No, I had to keep it to myself.
But it got worse. Hes gotten angry a lot since that incident and it all came to a climax today.
Lauren told me she had a surprise for me, since it was Friday I was going to stay at hers as I usually do on the weekends, not like my parents have noticed my absence over the past 2 months. It was lunch and I was sitting at the table designated for the social leaders of the school, the egotistic air heads that ran this place. Lauren was of course sitting alone at a table. She looked so hot today with her black ripped and oversized button up checked shirt. She had the sleeves rolled up and a few buttons open to expose her chest. It was comical how I never noticed how gay I am until I met Lauren. I mean I appreciated girls bodies but I was crazy for her. Her ass was huge and she's got the best chest in this whole school. I couldn't wait to get home and rip that shirt off her. She was leaning back in her seat, feet up on another chair lazily reading a copy of catcher in the rye I got her a week ago. She loves it which makes my heart swell, she walks around with in her hand proudly and she's always got her nose stuck in it during class, which is of course, adorable.
I couldn't take my eyes off her and unfortunately Jake noticed.
"Why are you staring at that dyke?" He snapped quietly in my ear, leaning into my body.
"I'm not I just.. well she's a freak why can't I stare at her?" I mumbled back. He's been smothering me all week, wanting to know where I was every second, who I was talking to, even when I went to sleep.
"Well cut it out. She'll get ideas and try to finger fuck you," he said. "If she hasn't already.." He said under his breath.
"What did you say?!" I shrieked causing half the cafeteria to turn and stare right at us. His nostrils flared and he got up, took a tight grip of my upper arm and discretely dragged me out of the canteen, down the hall and into the car park. He shoved me against his car and I paced back and forth in front of me. He looked unbelievably worked up.
"Listen you little slut, I know you've been seeing someone behind my back. But you know what? That's not in the cards sunshine. I'm fucking Jake Handon, I run this school, girls would give their right arm to suck my dick but you won't even make out with me?! We've been together for years and I can't even cop a feel of you since you're so pressy with yourself. You think you're too good for me, yet you go around fucking dykes like Lauren? Since when were you a huge lesbian? People are going to think I turned you gay you little bitch!" He shouted and I flinched. Oh my god he was really mad. He never said this much all at once ever. I didn't think he's stupid brain could form a proper structured lecture like that. His hands were balled into fists and I didn't like where this was going.
"Answer me!" He shouted and I collected myself.
"Im not fucking her, I'm not fucking anyone. Jake you're psychopathic and delusional. Just because I was looking at some girl doesn't mean I'm sleeping with her!" I shouted but just as I finished I felt a rough hand swipe the air and make contact with my face. I stumbled back in shock but before he reacted I felt a fist hit the other side of my jaw. I got dizzy and I couldn't stand up straight. Suddenly the air was whacked out of me when his fist came down into my stomach, winding me badly. I doubled over in pain and a handful of my hair was violently tugged and my scalp screamed in pain. I was in so much pain I couldn't breath or hear.
When I thought I was about to pass out the hand suddenly let go of my hair and I heard shouts and scuffles. I finally summoned enough strength to look up and see what was going on, I nearly passed out when I saw.
Jake and Lauren were standing, facing each other with fierce looks in both there eyes. Jake had a bust lip while Lauren was sporting an already forming black eye.
"You're so full of shit you little meat head. What fucking dick hits there girlfriend?" She screamed at him and his nostrils flared.
"Fuck you you dyke! It's non of your fucking business. What are you even doing here? Are two you actually fucking?" He said with sarcasm in his voice.
"Stop it both of you please" I crocked out.
"Shut up Camila let me handle this freak," he shouted causing me to wince back into myself. I was so terrified I was shaking. I saw Lauren looking at me, a flash of concern and guilt ripped through her face and I desperately wanted to hold her.
"Jake you've five seconds to get your ass inside or I swear to God," she yells.
"What are you going to do fag?" He smirks and she gets angrier.
"I'll tell the coach and principal you're on steroids for that ogre body of yours and you can kiss your football career goodbye" she spat and I gasped. Football was all Jake had to fall back on after high school. I mean he was so dumb he needed a scholarship more than he needed air to breath. I saw him visibly get uncomfortable and debate his choices. He unclenched his hands and replied "you don't say shit to anyone you hear me dyke? Or ill break your neck; and hers too" he said pointing at me and then turned and walked back into the building.
She quickly rushed to my side once he was gone and held me up.
"Oh my god baby I'm so sorry I didn't mean for anything to happen to you. God he's such a dick, you're not allowed near him again do you hear me? My baby are you alright where does it hurt?" She mumbled while scanning by body for injuries.
Even though her eye was bruised and her left eyebrow was slightly bleeding, all she could be bothered with was making sure I was ok. I melted at the thought and quickly pulled her lips down to meet mine. I put everything into the kiss and she kissed back just as passionately. I pulled back and looked into her eyes. Something clicked in my head and before I knew it the words slipped out of my mouth.
"I love you, Lauren" I whispered while biting my lip. Her eyes flickered from shock, to excitement and I melted at how cute she was.
"Wha-what, really?" She stumbled out and I giggled while I leaned my forehead against hers.
"Yeah, I suppose I do, don't I?" I smiled and she picked me up by my waist and spun my around. I threw my head back with laughter and she quickly put me down. She ran a few paces away from me with her back to me and stopped, she was silent for a minute before screaming "SHE FUCKING LOVES ME!" at the top of her lungs and punched the air with her fist. She did a silly little dance and I giggled uncontrollably at her cuteness. I really did love her.
She then came back to reality and ran over to me, she took both my hands in hers and gently kisses every one of my finger tips and whispered "and I love you, Camila" before she kissed the palm of my hand. Our lips smashed together and I could feel the love shining out of me. She loved me back. I'm in love. I couldn't contain how excited I was.
"Cmon lets go back to mine and get you better baby," she says once we break apart and I smile and nod before she leads me over to her bike.
Holy shit Lauren Jauregui loves me back.