"What's a man to a King?
What's a King to a God?
What's a God to a
Non-believer?"
•
IT WAS CLEAR, as the five of us stepped back into the corridor upstairs, that in the minutes that we had spent in the Room of Requirement the situation within the castle had deteriorated severely: The walls and ceiling were shaking worse than ever; dust filled the air, and through the nearest window, I saw bursts of green and red light so close to the foot of the castle that I knew the Death Eaters must be very near to entering the place. My magic hadn't held up against an army of them. Looking down, I saw Grawp the giant meandering past, swinging what looked like a stone gargoyle torn from the roof and roaring his displeasure.
"Let's hope he steps on some of them!" said Ron as more screams echoed from close by.
"As long as it's not any of our lot!" said Draco. I ran ahead, my wand drawn at the next window, which was missing several panes, and sent a well-aimed jinx into a crowd of fighters below.
"Good girl!" roared a figure running through the dust toward us, and I saw Aberforth again, his gray hair flying as he led a small group of students past. "They look like they might be breaching the north battlements, they've brought giants of their own!"
"We found you!" I immediately turned around to the jeering faces of Draco's old friends.
"Crabbe what are you doing!" Draco sneered, looking at his friends and their wands pointed at us.
"So how come you three aren't with Voldemort?" asked Harry.
"We're gonna be rewarded," said Crabbe: His voice was surprisingly soft for such an enormous person; I had hardly ever heard him speak before. Crabbe was smiling like a small child promised a large bag of sweets. "We 'ung back, Potter. We decided not to go. Decided to bring you to 'im."
"Good luck with that," Draco spat. "Honestly, how on Earth you two could do this-"
"Who cares what you think? I don't take your orders no more, Draco. You an' your dad are finished."
"And," I said before Draco could do something horrible to them. "How are you planning to take us down? Where were you two?"
"We was hiding in the corridor outside," grunted Goyle. "We can do Diss-lusion Charms now! And then," his face split into a gormless grin, "you turned up right in front of us!"
"How unfortunate for you then," I smiled, twisting my wand only slightly in my hand as Goyle toppled backwards with a you'd bang.
"What did ye do!" Crabbe shrieked, looking at his friend. "Crucio!"
I doubled over at the aggression his curse had. I didn't even know he had the ability to cast Unforgivables so easily. I tried to raise my wand, but turned out I didn't have to. Draco's wand emitted a faint greenish light and Crabbe immediately stopped. His eyes turned hazy and he quickly turned laid down next to his friend.
"Are you okay?" Harry asked.
"Yeah-what was that?"
"Imperius," Draco shrugged. "They're going to remain there for the remnants of the war now."
"Smart," I said, holding his arm. "Voldemort is in the Shrieking Shack. Harry, you're going to get a vision that he's there, with-Diffindo!- L-Lucius Malfoy. We cannot go until that, okay?"
A foe laid wriggling a faint distance away bleeding from the gash on his chest from my curse. Hermione looked at me incredulously.
"What?" I muttered. "He was coming at us, y'all are lucky that I didn't kill-"
But I broke off as yells and shouts and the unmistakable noises of dueling filled the corridor. I looked around and my heart seemed to fail: Death Eaters had penetrated Hogwarts. Fred and Percy had just backed into view, both of them dueling masked and hooded men. Draco, Harry, Ron, and Hermione ran forward to help: Jets of light flew in every direction and the man dueling Percy backed off, fast: Then his hood slipped and they saw a high forehead and streaked hair- "Hello, Minister!" bellowed Percy, sending a neat jinx straight at Thicknesse, who dropped his wand and clawed at the front of his robes, apparently in awful discomfort. "Did I mention I'm resigning?"
"You're joking, Perce!" shouted Fred as the Death Eater he was battling collapsed under the weight of three separate Stunning Spells. Thicknesse had fallen to the ground with tiny spikes erupting all over him; he seemed to be turning into some form of sea urchin. Fred looked at Percy with glee and I lurched towards him, magic brewing at my fingertips under my skin. I was not letting Fred Weasley die, not under my watch-
"You actually are joking, Perce. . .I don't think I've heard you joke since you were -"
The air exploded, but not quite. They had been grouped together, Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, Draco and Percy, the two Death Eaters at their feet, one Stunned, the other Transfigured; and in that fragment of a moment, when danger seemed temporarily at bay, the world was rent apart. I may have been throne into the air had I not had my barrier up-a thick, shimmering armor of protection which I didn't think would work. I opened my eyes after a split second, my feet slipping horribly on the dusty floor from the sheer force of the wreckage, and peered beyond. All the broken walls, glass, ceiling-everything- was on the other side of the shield, trying to come through, trying to kill Fred Weasley. I saw Rookwood who had seemingly moved on, thinking this side of the castle was done for. I felt a drop of blood trickle down my nose and my knees tremble.
I heard the screams and yells of my companions without a hope of knowing what had happened to them-
A flush of white light streamed past me, straight into my magic barrier, and for a second it felt like the weight was loosened. And then, within a second, as if in rewind, the whole thing flew back, against where it was supposed to be on top of us, out into the open ground. Someone flicked a wand next to me and the rubble landed on what looked like a few giant spiders, smashing them to pulp instantly. My hand flew to my face, as I wiped the blood off my nose and turned to see Hermione next to me, her wand still pointed at the broken off wall, her chocolate eyes blazing with anger but when she looked at me, she gave me a knowing smile.
I turned back immediately and saw that the little rubble that had flown in had momentarily stunned my companions-Percy's glasses had snipped off in the middle; Harry and Ron were covered in soot and remained lopsided in the pile of broken armors; Draco was already on his feet, holding a pillar for support, a clean cut on his face along his right cheekbone; Fred-
Alive and well, Fred Weasley was waving his wand around Draco's face and saying, "Not the face. . .too handsome to have a scar like that," as he sealed up the wound on my boyfriend's face. I laughed loudly, startling everyone around me. Except Hermione, who looked at me like I was looking at her.
We had saved Fred Weasley.
And then a body fell past the hole blown into the side of the school, and curses flew in at us from the darkness, hitting the wall behind their heads. "Get down!" Harry shouted, as more curses flew through the night: He and Ron had both grabbed Hermione and pulled her to the floor, but Percy jumped across to Fred, horror in his eyes at the thought of what could've almost happened, shielding Draco and Fred from harm.
"We have to move," I shouted, eying the Death Eater cursing at us. I faintly recognized that guy. He had come by once to deliver news of some sighting of Harry, which was obviously fake because Harry hadn't left Grimmauld Place since. "Hey Pebble!" I shouted at the man when I realized there wasn't much of an option of moving. The guy turned around wildly and fixed his eyes on me, his face contorting to a maniacal expression, the killing curse glowing at the top of his wand.
Some people are just too far gone.
"Avada Kedavra!"
The man fell like a marionette whose had been cut, his eyes lifeless, the last of his anger still etched on his face.
I turned around, letting my defensive bubble die for a second, looking at the expressions of horrors on my friends-
"It's either kill or be killed," I stated, my wand still quivering slightly at the thought that my friends-my brother-had seen me commit a heinous crime. Although he knew it already, I still felt caught, like I had committed a crime and they would hand out a punishment to me.
Then Hermione screamed, and I turned and did not need to ask why. A monstrous spider the size of a small car was trying to climb through the huge hole in the wall: One of Aragog's descendants had joined the fight. Ron and Harry shouted together; their spells collided and the monster was blown backward, its legs jerking horribly, and vanished into the darkness.
"It brought friends!" Harry called to the others, glancing over the edge of the castle through the hole in the wall the curses had blasted: More giant spiders were climbing the side of the building, liberated from the Forbidden Forest, into which the Death Eaters must have penetrated. Harry fired Stunning Spells down upon them, knocking the lead monster into its fellows, so that they rolled back down the building and out of sight. Then more curses came soaring over my head, so close I felt the force of them blow my hair.
"Let's move, NOW!"
"Harry," Hermione was saying as we skidded to a halt right at the end of the corridor-below us, the battlements were in full roar. "Look inside his mind. Where is he?"
I blinked. Of course! Harry had not gotten that vision aimlessly. He had asked for it.
He closed his eyes and I momentarily peered into him. . . I wanted to see. . . I needed to see-
Why was it so easy? How much more can my magic give me? I felt like it had no limits. . . Like I can do anything with this magic- I closed my eyes, and at once, the screams and the bangs and all the discordant sounds of the battle were drowned until they became distant, as though I stood far, far away from them. . .
He was standing in the middle of a desolate but strangely familiar room, with peeling paper on the walls and all the windows boarded except for one. The sounds of the assault on the castle were muffled and distant. The single unblocked window revealed distant bursts of light where the castle stood, but inside the room it was dark except for a solitary oil lamp. He was rolling his wand between his fingers, watching it, his thoughts on the room in the castle, the secret room only he had ever found, the room, like the Chamber, that you had to be clever and cunning and inquisitive to discover. . .He was confident that the boy would not find the diadem . . . although Dumbledore's puppet had come much farther than he had ever expected. . . too far. . .
"My Lord," said a voice, desperate and cracked. He turned: There was Lucius Malfoy sitting in the darkest corner, ragged and still bearing the marks of the punishment he had received after Skylar Firegold had escaped. One of his eyes remained closed and puffy. "My Lord . . . please . . . my son . . ."
"You dare?" He hissed. "After you son betrayed me and like a coward, went into hiding, pretending to be dead. . . You dare? If your son is dead, Lucius, it is not my fault. He did not come and join me. Perhaps he has decided to befriend Harry Potter?"
"No - never," whispered Malfoy.
"You must hope not."
"Aren't - aren't you afraid, my Lord, that Potter might die at another hand but yours? That Firegold might die at someone else's hands?" asked Malfoy, his voice shaking. "Wouldn't it be . . . forgive me . . . more prudent to call off this battle, enter the castle, and seek them y-yourself?"
"Do not pretend, Lucius. You wish the battle to cease so that you can discover what has happened to Skylar Firegold and your son, if he's still there and not gone off and hidden again. All these years, Lucius, and you're still loyal to Meredith like she's alive, protecting her lying, backstabbing blood traitor child like your own- I don't need your lies to know it was you who helped her escape, directly or indirectly. And I do not need to seek Potter. Before the night is out, Potter will have come to find me."
Voldemort dropped his gaze once more to the wand in his fingers. It troubled him . . . and those things that troubled Lord Voldemort needed to be rearranged. . .
"Go and fetch Snape."
"Snape, m-my Lord?"
"Snape. Now. I need him. There is a-service- I require from him. Go."
Frightened, stumbling a little through the gloom, Lucius left the room. Voldemort continued to stand there, twirling the wand between his fingers, staring at it.
"It is the only way, Nagini," he whispered, and he looked around, and there was the great thick snake, now suspended in midair, twisting gracefully within the enchanted, protected space he had made for her, a starry, transparent sphere somewhere between glittering cage and tank.
With a gasp, I pulled back and opened my eyes, at the same moment as Harry did-while he had the vision as Lord Voldemort, I had the vision as a spectator-at the same moment my ears were assaulted with the screeches and cries, the smashes and bangs of battle.
"He's in the Shrieking Shack. The snake's with him, it's got some sort of magical protection around it. He's just sent Lucius Malfoy to find Snape."
I choked. I have to save Severus Snape. I need to save him. I absolutely have to-
"What are you thinking?" Draco asked quietly. My eyes wide and terrified were making calculations on the broken rubble at my feet. I turned to him, unblinking.
"I have to go to the Shrieking Shack-"
"Absolutely not!"
"Voldemort's sitting in the Shrieking Shack?" said Hermione, outraged. "He's not - he's not even fighting?"
"He doesn't think he needs to fight," said Harry. "He thinks I'm going to go to him."
"But why?"
"He knows I'm after Horcruxes- he's keeping Nagini close beside him- obviously I'm going to have to go to him to get near the thing -"
"Right," said Ron, squaring his shoulders. "So you can't go, that's what he wants, what he's expecting. You stay here and look after Hermione and Skylar, and I'll go and get it -" Harry cut across Ron.
"You four stay here, I'll go under the Cloak and I'll be back as soon as I -"
"No," said Hermione, "it makes much more sense if I take the Cloak and -"
"Don't even think about it," Ron snarled at her.
"We're all going," Draco said. I looked at him exasperatedly. "Strength in numbers okay? Potter alone, you're not much of a threat. Skylar, yes, maybe. Weasley, he'll crush you before you could blink and Granger, you're a muggleborn, he won't even spare you a glance. And I'm a fugitive he wants dead," he said in a matter of fact way. "Individually, none of us are capable to bring him down."
We all blinked at Draco. A faint flush rose on his cheeks at the amount of attention he was getting.
"And what if he spots us?" Ron asked.
"Then we fight, together," Draco said instantly. "Potter, you have to stay alive till the end. You have to be the Boy Who Lived long enough to kill Voldemort. You're necessary-"
"You're being abnormally nice to me," Harry said, narrowing his eyes.
Draco sputtered, before composing himself and said hotly, "I can punch you in the face if you'd like, Potter."
Momentarily, we were light, almost laughing amidst the War. Then Ron said, "But Hermione, please you have to stay here-"
Before Hermione could get farther than "Ron, I'm just as capable -" the tapestry at the top of the staircase on which we stood was ripped open.
"POTTER!" Two masked Death Eaters stood there, but even before their wands were fully raised, Hermione shouted, "Glisseo!"
The stairs beneath our feet flattened into a chute and me, Harry, Draco, Hermione and Ron hurtled down it, unable to control our speed but so fast that the Death Eaters' Stunning Spells flew far over our heads. We shot through the concealing tapestry at the bottom and spun onto the floor, hitting the opposite wall. "Duro!" cried Hermione, pointing her wand at the tapestry, and there were two loud, sickening crunches as the tapestry turned to stone and the Death Eaters pursuing them crumpled against it.
"Get back!" shouted Ron, and the five of us flattened ourselves against a door as a herd of galloping desks thundered past, shepherded by a sprinting Professor McGonagall. She appeared not to notice us: Her hair had come down and there was a gash on her cheek. As she turned the corner, we heard her scream, "CHARGE!"
"Firegold!"
My head whipped around so fast that it made a little crunch, but my wand was pointed at the face of whoever it was.
"Theo!" My eyes widened. I was glad-so god-damned glad-to see that he was okay. "Give me your hand, quick!"
He ran towards me from where he was standing, Duelling some people before taking them down, barricading himself against the onslaught of spells with a strong shield charm. I grabbed his hand. Next to me, I heard Harry say-
"Skylar, come in, get under the Cloak!"
"It'll not fit us all Potter!" Draco snapped. "Listen-"
"Four of you go ahead," I said quickly, pointing my wand over Theo's Mark. "I'll come. I'll do a disillusionment-"
"No!" Harry thundered. "Have you seen the amount of people out there-"
"I have and I'm telling you I'll be fine! Go!"
Maybe it was how commanding I sounded, maybe it was the anger in my voice, but Harry just glared at me and pulled Draco under the Cloak with him and Hermione. Draco looked at me for a split second and I drank him in- shinning blond hair messy with dust, a healing gash on his gorgeous face, his black cloak bellowing around him, his wand gripped in his hand, blood and soot covering his knuckles, a fire blazing in his molten grey eyes.
"Theo," I said, peering my gaze away from Draco, who finally disappeared under the cloak, their feet covered by the dust around the castle if not by the Cloak. "Desdemorae!"
Golden light seeped around his Mark, making him flinch for just a moment, before it stopped burning and fell around, looking lifeless. He looked at me and then at my Mark next to him.
"Where do you need to go?" he asked, his voice steely. I could sense his feelings. He was hurt, he was restraining himself, he was pain-stricken. But we were in the middle of the War and Slytherins knew how to perfectly compartmentalize their emotions.
I looked behind me at the direction where my friends had disappeared to, and Theodore Nott grabbed my hand and pulled me next to him, his faintly crooked yew wand gripped tightly in his hand. "Let's go then."
"Theo what are you doing?" I asked, panicking. "You can't come-there are duellers there, they'll kill you!"
"They won't," he said immediately. "Look, listen to me before it's too late," he said, pulling me behind the stoned tapestry. It was a corner, maybe no one could see us or hear us. "You and Malfoy, that's kind of a forever thing. I can see it. And I can't stop how I feel but," he sucked in a breath. "What I did at the Manor was wrong. I was overwhelmed and I was scared and you were there- it won't happen again-"
"Theo, what-"
"It'll not affect our friendship," he said, smiling that turned into a frown. "Or hexing. We'll be fine, okay? I'll be Draco's best man when you two tie the knots. I'll be your first kid's godfather-"
"I'm not making you godfather-"
"No one asked for your opinion, Draco would make me godfather," he smirked. "And everything will be fine. Alright? But, right now, you have to stop thinking about that. There's a war going on and I'm gonna get you through to the other side. Now," he said, straightening up. "Come!"
We ran down the next staircase and found ourselves in a corridor full of duelers. The portraits on either side of the fighters were crammed with figures screaming advice and encouragement, while Death Eaters, both masked and unmasked, dueled students and teachers. Dean for he was face-to-face with Bárbaro, Parvati with Travers. Me and Theo raised our wands at once, ready to strike, but the duelers were weaving and darting around so much that there was a strong likelihood of hurting one of our own side if we cast curses. Even as we stood braced, looking for the opportunity to act, there came a great "Wheeeeeeeeeeee!" and, looking up, I saw Peeves zooming over us, dropping Snargaluff pods down onto the Death Eaters, whose heads were suddenly engulfed in wriggling green tubers like fat worms.
"Firegold! Is that Firegold!"
"Yes it is!" I shouted, turning around, face to face with a grisly looking Death Eater who hurled a curse straight at me that bounded off the protective bubble around me and Theo. "Flipendo!"
Dean made the most of the Death Eaters' momentary distraction, knocking Bárbaro out with a Stunning Spell; Bárbaro attempted to retaliate and Parvati shot a Body-Bind Curse at him.
"LET'S GO!" Theo yelled, and we pelted, heads down, through the midst of the fighters, slipping a little in pools of Snargaluff juice, toward the top of the marble staircase into the entrance hall.
Pansy stood on the topmost landing, Duelling with the guy I met outside, Bárbaro's companion Famel. From the looks of it, from the way curse after curse left her wand, from the way she laughed and told the Death Eater, "You can't dance forever!" making him jump here and there, avoiding the shower of her wrath, not having enough time to retaliate.
"Stupefy!" Theo had shot from next to me and the Death Eater toppled over with a loud bang.
"I had it under control!" Pansy shrieked.
"I saw that!" Theo said back. "You were having fun there but WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR FUN-FINISH THEM OFF!"
Pansy grumbled for just a second before, with the hearing and agility of a cat, turned around in a clean swipe, the curse leaving her wand instantly at the Death Eater coming up behind her, making the man fly back furiously. She blew hair from her face and ran towards the battlements, ready to kill.
There were more duelers all over the stairs and in the hall, Death Eaters everywhere I looked: Rookwood, close to the front doors, in combat with Flitwick, a masked Death Eater dueling Kingsley right beside them. Students ran in every direction, some carrying or dragging injured friends. I directed a Stunning Spell toward the masked Death Eater; it missed but nearly hit Neville, who had emerged from nowhere brandishing armfuls of Venomous Tentacula, which looped itself happily around the nearest Death Eater and began reeling him in.
"I'm gonna," I heaved next to Theo. "Kill Rookwood. Give me a second-"
"What!"
"He's the one who led the assault on the Greengrasses," I said furiously. "Voldemort didn't let me kill him because he's loyal and a good Knight in his chessboard. Well," I said, the green curse brewing in my wand. "I've toppled his board, haven't I? He deserves to die-"
Theo didn't say anything, but by the look on his face I knew he didn't wish to stop me at all. I ran towards Rookwood- Professor Flitwick looked momentarily stunned at my sudden appearance, nearly missed his defense and I don't want to think what might've happened. I stepped right in the middle of them and faced the horrid man before me.
"You-" he bellowed, a curse leaving his wand and ricocheting cleanly off my bubble. I raised my hand,a glow of black magic lifted Rookwood right off the ground, and he wriggled in the air, clutching his throat, as if he was being hanged.
"I have no time for morals Professor," I said to Flitwick quickly at his horrified expression. "Conglisco!"
Rookwood burned up like a Phoenix, without time to react to the fire, and instantly dropped on the ground in a heap of ashes.
We sped down the marble staircase: Glass shattered to our left, and the Slytherin hourglass that had recorded House points spilled its emeralds everywhere, so that people slipped and staggered as they ran. Two bodies fell from the balcony overhead as we reached the ground, and a gray blur that I took for an animal sped four-legged across the hall to sink its teeth into one of the fallen-
"NO!" shrieked Hermione from somewhere.
"Avada Kedavra!"
-and with a deafening blast from my wand, Fenrir Greyback was thrown backward before he could even touch Lavender Brown. He hit the marble banisters, dead.
A new Death Eater charged in towards the body of his fallen, and crystal ball fell on top of his head, and he crumpled to the ground and did not move.
"I have more!" shrieked Professor Trelawney from over the banisters. "More for any who want them! Here -" And with a movement like a tennis serve, she heaved another enormous crystal sphere from her bag, waved her wand through the air, and caused the ball to speed across the hall and smash through a window. At the same moment, the heavy wooden front doors burst open, and more of the gigantic spiders forced their way into the entrance hall.
Screams of terror rent the air: The fighters scattered, Death Eaters and Hogwartians alike, and red and green jets of light flew into the midst of the oncoming monsters, which shuddered and reared, more terrifying than ever.
"How do we get out?" yelled Ron over all the screaming, from somewhere.
"Where the fuck are you?" I shouted.
"Here-" a hand hovered in the middle of the air a few feet away from me. I turned to the spiders and thought, what the fuck can I do-
"How-do-we-get-out?"
-but before any of us could answer we were bowled aside: Hagrid had come thundering down the stairs, brandishing his flowery pink umbrella.
"Don't hurt 'em, don't hurt 'em!" he yelled.
"HAGRID, NO!" Harry forgot everything else: He sprinted out from under the Cloak, running bent double to avoid the curses illuminating the whole hall.
"HAGRID, COME BACK!" But he was not even halfway to Hagrid when I saw it happen: Hagrid vanished amongst the spiders, and with a great scurrying, a foul swarming movement, they retreated under the onslaught of spells, Hagrid buried in their midst.
"HAGRID!" I heard someone calling my own name, whether friend or foe I did not care: I was sprinting down the front steps into the dark grounds with Harry, and the spiders were swarming away with their prey, and I could see nothing of Hagrid at all.
I thrust my hands forward, and my veins popped bright, as some of the spiders shot off into the sky, huge car-sized figures flying through the air, making people run away screaming. I saw Hagrid, right in the middle, with his pink flowery umbrella, still alive, scuffling out from under.
"HAGRID!"
My way was impeded by a monumental foot, which swung down out of the darkness and made the ground on which I stood shudder. I looked up: A giant stood before me, twenty feet high, its head hidden in shadow, nothing but its treelike, hairy shins illuminated by light from the castle doors. With one brutal, fluid movement, it smashed a massive fist through an upper window, and glass rained down upon me and Harry, forcing us back under the shelter of the doorway.
"Oh my - !" shrieked Hermione, as she, Draco and Ron caught up with Harry and gazed upward at the giant now trying to seize people through the window above. Theo wasn't near. I panicked- I turned back and caught a sight of him as I backed away from the giant. Theo was Duelling a masked Death Eater. My chest strung as I tried to go there, but I was barricaded by the giant smashing it's way in. The Death Eater was too adept. . . Theo barely had time to move away from the jinxes. . . He needed help, he needed back up, I watched with horror as red light seeped through the Death Eater's wand and Theo doubled over with the Cruciatus hit him.
"Theo-"
My scream died in my throat as the Death Eater's mask as whisked off his face and I looked at that man. How could a father hurt his child? How could a father not leave a War when he knew he would be fighting against his child? I couldn't fathom how Nott Sr was capable of such cruelty. Draco gasped loudly next to me, his wand shooting a spell at their direction- he was always better at aims, for the curse shot through the air, between the giant's leg, over the heads of our people, and hit Nott Sr straight in the chest, stunning him. Theo got on all fours, coughing up blood, trying to look for his savior just as I heaved a breath of relief-
There was a flash of green and Theodore Nott fell on his face, his eyes open but not seeing, blood still splattered across his mouth.
•
The world had ended, so why had the battle not ceased, the castle fallen silent in horror, and every combatant laid down their arms? My mind was in free fall, spinning out of control, unable to grasp the impossibility, because Theodore Nott could not be dead, the evidence of all my senses must be lying -
I screamed, a noise so painful and bloodcurdling that it seemed foreign to me. Draco grabbed my just as my hand flew to my mouth, biting into my knuckles until teeth ripped flesh, dripping blood because anything, any pain can be better than the horrible gaping hole in my chest.
Theodore Nott was dead.
Draco held me and I didn't understand who he was consoling, me or himself, for he was trembling just as much as I was, he was riddled with tears just as much as I was, the pouring stream of water making tributaries in the dust covered lands on both our faces-
Theodore Nott was dead.
Theodore Nott would never jinx me in the corridors again.
Theodore Nott would never be Draco's best man.
Theodore Nott would never exist again-
"HAGGER?" Grawp came lurching around the corner of the castle; only now did I realize that Grawp was, indeed, an undersized giant. The gargantuan monster trying to crush people on the upper floors looked around and let out a roar. The stone steps trembled as he stomped toward his smaller kin, and Grawp's lopsided mouth fell open, showing yellow, half-brick-sized teeth; and then they launched themselves at each other with the savagery of lions.
"RUN!" Harry roared; the night was full of hideous yells and blows as the giants wrestled, but I didn't want to run; dying seemed like a gift now; I didn't want to fight; Theo was dead.
Draco seized my hand and tore down the steps into the grounds, Harry and Hermione in front, Ron bringing up the rear. We ran so fast that we were halfway toward the forest before we were brought up short again. The air around us had frozen: my breath caught and solidified in my chest. Shapes moved out in the darkness, swirling figures of concentrated blackness, moving in a great wave toward the castle, their faces hooded and their breath rattling. . . Harry, Ron and Hermione closed in beside us as the sounds of fighting behind us grew suddenly muted, deadened, because a silence only dementors could bring was falling thickly through the night, and Theo was gone, and Hagrid was surely dying or already dead. . .
"Come on, Harry!" said Hermione's voice from a very long way away. "Skylar, come on! Patronuses, Skylar, Harry, come on!"
I raised my wand, but a dull hopelessness was spreading through me: How many more lay dead that I did not yet know about; I felt as though my soul had already half left my body. . . .
"Skylar, COME ON!" screamed Hermione.
A hundred dementors were advancing, gliding toward us, sucking their way closer to my despair, which was like a promise of a feast. . . . I saw Ron's silver terrier burst into the air, flicker feebly, and expire; I saw Hermione's otter twist in midair and fade; Draco and Harry's own wands trembled in their hands, and I almost welcomed the oncoming oblivion, the promise of nothing, of no feeling. . .
And then a silver hare, a boar, a fox, a white stallion and a king cobra soared past our heads: The dementors fell back before the creatures' approach. Five more people had arrived out of the darkness to stand beside us, their wands outstretched, continuing to cast their Patronuses: Luna, Ernie, Seamus, Blaise and Pansy.
"That's right," said Luna encouragingly, as if we were back in the Room of Requirement and this was simply spell practice for the P.O. "That's right, guys . . . come on, think of something happy. . ."
"Something happy?" Draco said, his voice cracked.
"We're all still here," she whispered, "we're still fighting. Come on, now. . ."
There was a silver spark, then a wavering light, and then, with the greatest effort it had ever cost me, the Dragon burst from the end of my wand, along with Harry's stag and Draco's lion. They cantered forward, and now the dementors scattered in earnest, and immediately the night was mild again, but the sounds of the surrounding battle were loud in my ears.
"Can't thank you enough," said Ron shakily, turning to Luna, Ernie, Seamus, Pansy and Blaise. "You just saved -"
With a roar and an earth-quaking tremor, another giant came lurching out of the darkness from the direction of the forest, brandishing a club taller than any of us.
"RUN!" Harry shouted again, but the others needed no telling: we all scattered, and not a second too soon, for next moment the creature's vast foot had fallen exactly where we had been standing. I looked round, still gripping Draco's hand: Harry, Ron and Hermione were following me, but the other five had vanished back into the battle.
"Let's get out of range!" yelled Ron as the giant swung its club again and its bellows echoed through the night, across the grounds where bursts of red and green light continued to illuminate the darkness.
"The Whomping Willow," I shouted, "go!"
Somehow I walled it all up in my mind, crammed it into a small space into which I could not look now: Thoughts of Theo and Hagrid, and my terror for all the people I loved, scattered in and outside the castle, must all wait, because we had to run, had to reach the snake and Voldemort, before I lose another of my most precious, because that was, as Hermione said, the only way to end it- I sprinted, half believing I could outdistance death itself, ignoring the jets of light flying in the darkness all around us, and the sound of the lake crashing like the sea, and the creaking of the Forbidden Forest though the night was windless; through grounds that seemed themselves to have risen in rebellion, snow melting away from the heat if the battle itself; I ran faster than I had ever moved in my life, and it was I who saw the great tree first, the Willow that protected the secret at its roots with whiplike, slashing branches. Panting and gasping, I slowed down, skirting the Willow's swiping branches, peering through the darkness toward its thick trunk, trying to see the single knot in the bark of the old tree that would paralyze it. Draco, Harry, Ron and Hermione caught up, Hermione so out of breath she could not speak.
"How - how're we going to get in?" panted Draco.
"I can - see the place - if we just had -Crookshanks again-"
"Crookshanks?" wheezed Hermione, bent double, clutching her chest. "Are you a wizard, or what?"
"Oh- right- yeah-" Ron looked around, then directed his wand at a twig on the ground and said, "Wingardium Leviosa!"
The twig flew up from the ground, spun through the air as if caught by a gust of wind, then zoomed directly at the trunk through the Willow's ominously swaying branches. It jabbed at a place near the roots, and at once, the writhing tree became still.
"Perfect!" panted Hermione.
"Wait."
"Harry," I wheezed. "We're coming-I have to come- Draco- stay outside-"
"Oh, please! Just get in there," said Draco, sneering, pushing me forward. I wriggled into the earthy passage hidden in the tree's roots. It was a much tighter squeeze than it had been the last time I had entered it. The tunnel was low-ceilinged: we had had to double up to move through it nearly four years previously; now there was nothing for it but to crawl. I went first, my wand illuminated, expecting at any moment to meet barriers, but none came. We moved in silence, my gaze fixed upon the swinging beam of the wand held in my fist.
At last the tunnel began to slope upward and I saw a sliver of light ahead. Hermione tugged at my ankle.
"The Cloak!" she whispered. "Put the Cloak on!"
"There's not sufficient Cloak!" I whispered back, before tapping myself to cast a disillusionment charm. "Get in-all of you!"
"Nox," I muttered, extinguishing my wandlight, and continued on my hands and knees, as silently as possible, all my senses straining, expecting every second to be discovered, to hear a cold clear voice, see a flash of green light. And then I heard voices coming from the room directly ahead of us, only slightly muffled by the fact that the opening at the end of the tunnel had been blocked up by what looked like an old crate. Hardly daring to breathe, I edged right up to the opening and peered through a tiny gap left between crate and wall.
The room beyond was dimly lit, but I could see Nagini, swirling and coiling like a serpent underwater, safe in her enchanted, starry sphere, which floated unsupported in midair. I could see the edge of a table, and a long-fingered white hand toying with a wand- and it fit into my head.
Dumbledore, what a fucking genius- he left a fake wand at his grave!
Then Snape spoke, and my heart lurched: Snape was inches away from where I crouched, hidden; I could just take him nd run.
". . . my Lord, their resistance is crumbling-"
"- and it is doing so without your help," said Voldemort in his high, clear voice. "Skilled wizard though you are, Severus, I do not think you will make much difference now. We are almost there . . .almost."
"Let me find the boy. Let me bring you Potter. I know I can find him, my Lord. Please."
Snape strode past the gap, and I drew back a little, keeping my eyes fixed upon Nagini, wondering whether there was any spell that might penetrate the protection surrounding her, but I could not think of anything. One failed attempt, and I would give away our position. . . Voldemort stood up. I could see him now, see the red eyes, the flattened, serpentine face, the pallor of him gleaming slightly in the semidarkness. A face I had gotten so used to over the past five months.
"I have a problem, Severus," said Voldemort softly.
"My Lord?" said Snape.
Voldemort raised the fake Elder Wand, holding it as delicately and precisely as a conductor's baton. "Why doesn't it work for me, Severus?"
In the silence I imagined I could hear the snake hissing slightly as it coiled and uncoiled- or was it Voldemort's sibilant sigh lingering on the air?
"My - my Lord?" said Snape blankly. "I do not understand. You-you have performed extraordinary magic with that wand."
"No," said Voldemort. "I have performed my usual magic. I am extraordinary, but this wand . . . no. It has not revealed the wonders it has promised. I feel no difference between this wand and the one I procured from Ollivander all those years ago." Voldemort's tone was musing, calm, but I knew, next to me Harry's scar had begun to throb and pulse: Pain was building in his forehead, and I could feel that controlled sense of fury building inside Voldemort. "No difference," said Voldemort again.
Snape did not speak. I could not see his face: I wondered whether Snape sensed danger, was trying to find the right words to reassure his master.
Voldemort started to move around the room: I lost sight of him for seconds as he prowled, speaking in that same measured voice, while the pain and fury mounted in him. "I have thought long and hard, Severus. . . Do you know why I have called you back from the battle?"
And for a moment I saw Snape's profile: His eyes were fixed upon the coiling snake in its enchanted cage. "No, my Lord, but I beg you will let me return. Let me find Potter."
"You sound like Lucius. Neither of you understands Potter as I do. He does not need finding. Potter will come to me. I know his weakness, you see, his one great flaw. He will hate watching the others struck down around him, knowing that it is for him that it happens. He will want to stop it at any cost. He will come. And Firegold will follow him."
"But my Lord, he might be killed accidentally by one other than yourself -"
"My instructions to my Death Eaters have been perfectly clear. Capture Potter and Firegold. Kill his friends- the more, the better- but do not kill them. But it is of you that I wished to speak, Severus, not Harry Potter. You have been very valuable to me. Very valuable."
"My Lord knows I seek only to serve him. But - let me go and find the boy, my Lord. Let me bring him to you. I know I can -"
"I have told you, no!" said Voldemort, and I caught the glint of red in his eyes as he turned again, and the swishing of his cloak was like the slithering of a snake, and I felt Voldemort's impatience in the air. "My concern at the moment, Severus, is what will happen when I finally meet the boy!"
"My Lord, there can be no question, surely - ?"
"- but there is a question, Severus. There is."
Voldemort halted, and I could see him plainly again as he slid the Elder Wand through his white fingers, staring at Snape. "Why did both the wands I have used fail when directed at Harry Potter?"
"I- I cannot answer that, my Lord."
"Can't you?" The stab of rage felt like a spike driven through my head. Harry felt it too, in his scar, for next to me, he forced his own fist into his mouth to stop himself from crying out in pain.
Voldemort was looking into Snape's pale face. "My wand of yew did everything of which I asked it, Severus, except to kill Harry Potter. Twice it failed. Ollivander told me under torture of the twin cores, told me to take another's wand. I did so, but Lucius's wand shattered upon meeting Potter's."
"I - I have no explanation, my Lord." Snape was not looking at Voldemort now. His dark eyes were still fixed upon the coiling serpent in its protective sphere.
"I sought a third wand, Severus. The Elder Wand, the Wand of Destiny, the Deathstick. I took it from its previous master. I took it from the grave of Albus Dumbledore."
And now Snape looked at Voldemort, and Snape's face was like a death mask. It was marble white and so still that when he spoke, it was a shock to see that anyone lived behind the blank eyes. "My Lord- let me go to the boy -"
"All this long night, when I am on the brink of victory, I have sat here," said Voldemort, his voice barely louder than a whisper, "wondering, wondering, why the Elder Wand refuses to be what it ought to be, refuses to perform as legend says it must perform for its rightful owner . . . and I think I have the answer."
Snape did not speak. Next to me Draco shuddered. I wondered how to save Snape from this horrible situation.
"Perhaps you already know it? You are a clever man, after all, Severus. You have been a good and faithful servant, and I regret what must happen."
"My Lord -"
"The Elder Wand cannot serve me properly, Severus, because I am not its true master. The Elder Wand belongs to the wizard who killed its last owner. You killed Albus Dumbledore. While you live, Severus, the Elder Wand cannot be truly mine."
"My Lord!" Snape protested, raising his wand.
"It cannot be any other way," said Voldemort. "I must master the wand, Severus. Master the wand, and I master Potter at last."
And Voldemort swiped the air with the Elder Wand, I jumped a little, my breath hitching in my throat. Fuck. Now what!
It did nothing to Snape, who for a split second seemed to think he had been reprieved: But then Voldemort's intention became clear. The snake's cage was rolling through the air, and before Snape could do anything more than yell, it had encased him, head and shoulders, and Voldemort spoke in Parseltongue.
There was a terrible scream. I saw Snape's face losing the little color it had left; it whitened as his black eyes widened, as the snake's fangs pierced his neck, as he failed to push the enchanted cage off himself, as his knees gave way and he fell to the floor. It was a terrible sight, and my eyes pooled up instantly, my thoughts running haywire. What now!
"I regret it," said Voldemort coldly. He turned away; there was no sadness in him, no remorse. It was time to leave this shack and take charge, with a wand that would now do his full bidding. He pointed it at the starry cage holding the snake, which drifted upward, off Snape, who fell sideways onto the floor, blood gushing from the wounds in his neck. Voldemort swept from the room without a backward glance, and the great serpent floated after him in its huge protective sphere.
"Harry!" breathed Hermione behind us, but he had already pointed his wand at the crate blocking his view. It lifted an inch into the air and drifted sideways silently. As quietly as we could, we pulled ourselves up into the room. I did not know what I felt as I saw Snape's white face, and the fingers trying to staunch the bloody wound at his neck. Harry took off the Invisibility Cloak, and I took off my Disillusionment Charm and I looked down upon the man I was so determined to save, whose widening black eyes found mine, before turning to Harry as he tried to speak.
Harry bent over him, and Snape seized the front of his robes and pulled him close. A terrible rasping, gurgling noise issued from Snape's throat. "Take . . . it. . . . Take . . . it. . . ."
Something more than blood was leaking from Snape. Silvery blue, neither gas nor liquid, it gushed from his mouth and his ears and his eyes, and I knew what it was, my breathing heaving as I raked my brain, sifting through loss and despair, looking for a way out of this. Next to me, Draco started fidgeting wildly, inside his extension charmed bag.
A flask, conjured from thin air, was thrust into Harry's shaking hands by Hermione. Harry lifted the silvery substance into it with his wand, and just when the flask was almost full to the brim, Draco lurched forward, a different flask in his own hand, a milky flowy liquid in it, and he poured the contents onto Snape's wounds around his neck. Snape winced and my eyes widened as I saw the would healing itself, stitching itself shut, spreading a glowy warmth as the liquid encased the skin. Some colour returned to Snape's face as Draco waved his wand and a neat white bandage wrapped around his neck. Snape blinked. . . Surprised at being saved.
"Phoenix tears," Draco said, smiling at Snape, although a little teary eyed. "Supposedly, can bring someone back from the brink of Death."
I lost it. I completely lost it as I lurched forward and fell onto Snape, at his feet, sobbing aimlessly. He feebly raised an arm and placed it on my hair-he looked sick, he looked addled, but his wound was alright. "Silly girl," he said, his voice still carrying the gurgle of blood, but he smiled.
"Listen-" I said, turning back. "The wards are down. . . I'm going to apparate him to St Mungo's-"
"It's too dangerous!" Hermione whispered furiously.
"No it's not- He will ask his forces to return now-"
And quite suddenly a high, cold voice spoke so close to us that Harry jumped to his feet, the flask gripped tightly in his hands. Voldemort's voice reverberated from the walls and floor, and everyone realized that he was talking to Hogwarts and to all the surrounding area, that the residents of Hogsmeade and all those still fighting in the castle would hear him as clearly as if he stood beside them, his breath on the back of their necks, a deathblow away.
"You have fought," said the high, cold voice, "valiantly. Lord Voldemort knows how to value bravery. Yet you have sustained heavy losses. If you continue to resist me, you will all die, one by one. I do not wish this to happen. Every drop of magical blood spilled is a loss and a waste. Lord Voldemort is merciful. I command my forces to retreat immediately. You have one hour. Dispose of your dead with dignity. Treat your injured. I speak now, Harry Potter, directly to you. You have permitted your friends to die for you rather than face me yourself. I shall wait for one hour in the Forbidden Forest. If, at the end of that hour, you have not come to me, have not given yourself up, then battle recommences. This time, I shall enter the fray myself, Harry Potter, and I shall find you, and I shall punish every last man, woman, and child who has tried to conceal you from me. One hour."
Both Ron and Hermione shook their heads frantically, looking at Harry. "Don't listen to him," said Ron.
"It'll be all right," said Hermione wildly. "Let's - let's get back to the castle, if he's gone to the forest we'll need to think of a new plan -"
"Listen to me!" I snapped. "Go back to the castle-" I gave Hermione a pointed look. "Go back and wait for me. . . Harry," I said. Below me, Severus Snape had succumbed to unconsciousness, but his breathing was steady. "Go to Dumbledore's study and . . . I'll meet you at the Great Hall, okay?"
"It's dangerous," Draco said, as I gripped Professor Snape's body.
"I know," I said, charming Snape's unconscious body to mine. "When has anything in my life been a walk in the garden, Draco? It's always been dangerous," I smirked. "I'm going to see you all back at the castle before you know it. Go now-"
Hesitatingly, they crawled through the tunnel and out, leaving me here with Snape. "Come on now, Professor," I said, bracing myself to turn on spot. "Let's fix you up completely."
I turned on spot and landed inside St Mungo's-even amidst the war, the hospital looked just as clean and functioning as ever. The second I cracked in, a lot of heads turned. Some healers ran towards me and noticed Severus Snape.
"He was attacked by a snake," I said immediately. "We put Phoenix tears on his wounds, and momentarily fixed him up-"
"That's alright," a boy in healers robes told me. "We'll take it from here-"
"Fix him up-"
"You look injured too-"
"His name is Severus Snape. He's the Potions Master of Hogwarts. I'm Skylar Firegold, you can put me as his emergency contact-you can owl me - I'll be back-"
"Wait-"
I turned on spot again, leaving behind the blinding pale emergency room of St Mungo's, and tumbling out into the dark gloomy area right outside the Shrieking Shack. I quickly dusted myself and started walking towards the castle.
"I thought you'd come," a cold voice spoke. I felt chills run up and down my spine and the shimmery bubble of sheer protection flickered around me.
Terror washed over me as I stood on the grass, with that funeral drum pounding inside me. Would it hurt to die? Because there's no way he'd let me live. All those times I had thought that it was about to happen and escaped, I had never really thought of the thing itself: my will to live had always been so much stronger than my fear of death. Yet it did not occur to me now to try to escape, to outrun Voldemort. It was over, I knew it, and all that was left was the thing itself: dying. The images of Theo lying dead in the Great Hall forced it's way back into my mind's eye, and for a moment I could hardly breathe: Death was impatient. . .
I blinked. Straight ahead of me, across the acres of melting snow and bone chilling breeze, loomed out the great and magnificent castle of Hogwarts. It stood tall and handsome even in the face of destruction. I smiled at the building, washing in it's glory one last time, a place common to Tom Riddle and I, as the place we came to call home when we escaped our little rooms of the Orphanage. I smiled because if there was anywhere I'd die, I was glad it was here. With all my power, with all my magic, I suddenly had no intention to stop what's coming. I wasn't meant to live anyway. I was just meant to catalyse the war, save some lives. Meddling with time. . . Death was inevitable. . .
I was surrounded. All around me, Death Eaters appeared in whisks of smoke, ready to watch the murder of the girl who is meant to protect Harry Potter. Surely, Voldemort had come to the conclusion that to have me alive was just another prickle in his path to kill the Boy Who Lived? Surely, he realized trusting me, thinking I'm anything like my parents, was the greatest mistake of his life? Surely. . .
None of the Death Eaters moved. They were waiting: Everything was waiting. The wind, the trees, the melting snow, the dried trees, and Bellatrix was silent, her startling blue eyes looking straight at me-I sensed her feelings, she hated it, she hated how it was Meredith Firegold all over again, but she couldn't stop it- and I thought inexplicably of Draco, and his blazing look, his perfect hair, how he always looks like an angel, and the feel of his lips on mine - Voldemort had raised his wand. His head was still tilted to one side, like a curious child, wondering what would happen if he proceeded. I looked back into the red eyes, and wanted it to happen now, quickly, while I could still stand, before I lost control, before I got betrayed by fear, I wanted to look him in the eye when he took my life-
"You will bow to me," he said, in a cold drawl. It didn't scare me anymore.
"Kill me if you must," I said quietly with a smile. "But I shall not bow to a King who wears a crown studded with the jewels of every life he has taken."
This was it, I knew, when his expression didn't waver, his wand didn't dip.
She greeted Death like an old friend. . .
I saw the mouth move and a flash of green light, forcing it's way through my protective shield-why was I even attempting to stop it, I wondered- and it crumbled forward, the green touching the centre of my chest and-
I fell backwards with a striking pain in my head, but instead of colliding with the ground, I had the strangest, most horrible feeling of submersion, like falling backwards into a swimming pool, and blackness took over me for a split second-this is not how the killing curse feels;it's supposed to be painless, quicker than falling asleep, then why am I still conscious as all this happens.
And then I rose from the black submersion I was in, with a loud gasp, my hand on my chest, incredible heat searing my skin- I scrambled to sit, thoroughly confused, my heart beating so widly under my chest,that it might just flutter out. I blinked, adjusting to the sunlight and heat. And then I gasped loud that my throat hurt and my head went dizzy and my chest constricted.
I was sitting on metal-framed bed in an attic with slanting roof. One small window at the end of the room filtered in light. The room was spacious because it was bare. There wasn't much around. And it was squeaky clean. The floorboard creaked when I dropped my feet of the bed, eying the environment with wide eyes, trying to differentiate between dream and reality.
And then a deep sight left me along with the avalanche of tears from my eyes.
I was in my attic room at the Orphanage in Small Westbrook County, Brisbane, Australia.
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