CHAPTER FIFTEEN:
𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐟***𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐜𝐲!
❝ ᴀʀᴇɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴇ ᴀʟʟ ʟᴏꜱᴛ ꜱᴛᴀʀꜱ? ❞
✧･ﾟ: - *✧･ﾟ* :･ﾟ- *:･ﾟ✧
I don't remember how in Sandman's name I managed to get a wink at all, but I managed to fall asleep anyway despite the daydreams that were keeping me awake as opposed to actual dreams that I were supposed to be conjuring up in my head in my unconscious, sleeping-like-a-baby self.
Today.
She said it herself. I'll finally see her again today.
It was about godsdamn time.
It's only been a week but why did it feel like an eternity? I'm acting as if I have some kind of eye disorder and the only way to cure it was to look directly into Elsa. Honestly, it might as well be that way what with the severity of it all.
I miss her. And I miss the version of 'me' whenever she's around.
I hope she's okay.
Hans is lucky I also haven't been seeing him around as much as Elsa. When I see that bastard again... where is that lavvy-heided wankstain anyway?
- Today was the day.
- YES!
imma see her again ♥
- What? No. Not that.
Huh? "Not that"? What else could this day be possibly planned for that was any more important than me meeting Elsa again?
- the f u talking bout?
- You're joking.
- ?
- Seriously??
- :/
- You actually forgot?
wtf
- Forgot wjat?! jist tell me
suspense early
in da mornng
- Just come downstairs.
Forgetful tw@t
- aww nah
gotta shower first
DONT XOME IN MY ROOM
IM A WEE NAKED BABBY
- Whatever. We're not like
you, barging into people's
rooms without permission.
haha
- shut up
u two are gross
ew eww eww
I decided against taking that aforementioned shower and immediately rushed downstairs after shutting off my phone with that last text. With my pajamas still on and with a few eye crusties dangling here and there, I stood in shock before I could even reach the bottom of the staircase.
From halfway down, I could already see the giant sign that hung on the ceiling of the living room as it screams in all-uppercase glittering letters—
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MERIDA!"
Yeah. That.
Maybe I should've kept my word and had that shower after all.
"What...?" was all I could say as I reached the final steps on the staircase.
"Yer pure nick, me lassie! I thought Jack and Hiccup said you were gonna take a shower?"
"We thought so too."
"Boys, leave the cake alone!"
Sure enough, there actually was a cake on the table with the triplets surrounding it like a bunch of students watching a fight against the school bully, trying to get a bite. It was a glossy chocolate with tiny candles too many to count stabbed all over the surface. It wasn't too hard to guess how many they were.
Twenty. I'm actually fucking twenty years old now.
I've been prioritizing literally everything other than myself for so long that I've lost track of time and date. Was it really my birthday?
It honestly might as well be since I'm seeing Elsa today.
Snapping me back to reality was the numpty Jack Ross hiding behind the staircase with a giant bazooka-esque party popper in his hands, letting it explode bits of confetti and tiny stars in my face.
P O P !
Crivens! I covered my ears and winced in pain. All I heard was a head-aching ringing for six seconds straight. The party popper wasn't the only thing that exploded today. Thanks a lot, Jackson. Once I regained my hearing, I felt sober enough to fully take in the entire scene of the room.
There my family stood, alongside Hiccup and Jack.
I didn't want to admit it, but I searched for another familiar face but, obviously... she wasn't there. Why would she be? Thank the gods she wasn't. I won't be able to handle the humiliation of her seeing me in my un-showered morning, and slightly out of focus, state.
Look at me, looking for someone else, when all the people who already love me and have loved me long before I had even known Elsa existed were all here.
Good Thor, I'm a terrible friend, daughter, and sister.
"Aww, she's crying!" said Jack in the most middle-school-bully type way before the rest of them burst into chuckles.
I touched my cheek and, as true as the sky was blue, there really was a tear.
Holy shit, I am. Maybe just not for the reason they were thinking...
"Happy birthday, my no-longer-so-little birthday girl." Mum walks towards me to give me a one-armed hug and a kiss on the top of my head. She then displayed the cake she was holding with the other hand in front of me. The wax from the candles were already dripping to the surface of the cake. They reminded me of me and my pathetic tears.
Better stop them from melting then.
With that, I gave my best and extinguished all the flames from the tiny wax sticks in just one blow, panning my head around and careful that my morning hair doesn't suddenly catch on fire. A dumb way to die, according to Metro. As I did, I was blinded by a flash of bright light for a split second along with the sound of a polaroid exiting an instant camera immediately followed by the snickering of two idiots.
Those dunderheids! Why now? I looked like something the cat dragged in.
"Merida, you look like something the cat dragged in." Uh-huh. And for some reason, you still thought it was the best moment to warrant a picture, Jackson?
Chuckles and giggles erupted before I realized my brothers had managed to successfully take the cake from my hands without me or anyone else noticing. Good gods!
"Twenty, huh? I'm too old for birthday parties, guys." I joked.
"Then does that mean you're too old for presents too?"
Presents?! "Yer talkin' mince!"
"This is from your father and I." Mum hands me the medium-sized box covered in wrapping paper with tiny patterned 'happy birthday' texts all around.
I tore that babby open to reveal... a paint set?
"Oh?" I held it closer to examine further. It looked expensive!
"Well, ye remember how you asked us for help with arts the other night? We thought you were hinting taking an interest in that field so what better way to head start that than with yer very own supplies!"
Right. That.
I exchanged looks with Jack and Hic. They knew what was up; the real reason I even start to breathe in the general direction of the art world. They looked like they were holding in a toot in the boot with the way they held their laughter.
"Ye guys!" I gave them a big ol' bear hug. It may be funny knowing that they thought I was about to undergo some kind of 'artist arc' soon but nevertheless, I love it.
"Mine next!" Jack jumped up and down like the child that he was. His gift was a bit longer and heavier this time. No fucking way, he actually made an effort!
It was a skateboard. Of course, it was. And I know exactly why this time.
"Now, you can stop borrowing mine all the damn time and always end up falling on 'yer rump'!" he mocks my accent in the last two words. He truly does put the 'jack' in 'jackass.' Arguably, 'ass' too.
"Falling on yer rump?" Mum repeats in a worried voice. Oh fuck, we forgot she doesn't know.
"I-i-it's just an expression, dear!" Dad notices the panic in our eyes and covers us up. Thanks, Dad.
Next was Hiccup's. He gifted me a journal, of all things. A brown one, made out of leather similar to the ones he owned.
"Not to sound gross or anything but, you know, Jack and I won't always be here to—I mean, we will, b-but maybe not physically— oh, you get the gist of it! So, just in those rare occasions when we won't be there, or you've got some stuff you yourself can't share... you can always jot them down in that. S-sort of like an outlet, know what I mean?"
I can't write for shit, but I love it. Very very much. And I love them. However, I still wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing a mushy lovey-dovey Merida.
"No thanks, journals are a nerd thing, nerd."
Hiccup feigns a hurt expression, and the room once again fills with bits of laughter. I punched him on the arm in an acknowledging manner. That was the most he's going to get. I don't need to say anything else. He already knows.
Lastly was my brothers' gift. I know, I couldn't believe it either. The wee devils still had hearts, apparently.
My heart warmed when they excitedly handed me a piece of paper with an, admittedly adorable, drawing of that day the boys and I went to visit the Aurora Creek Park. They drew themselves hanging from the monkey bars and I could see not only myself but Porcelain in the paper with hearts drawn all around us in that noticeable child-like style to it with the use of crayons, the over-simplicity of the portrayal of shapes, and the overall innocence and wonder that you feel upon seeing the artwork much like how a child sees the world too.
Ugh, I sound like Elsa.
The boys then proceed to make kissy sounds again when they noticed I found the highlight of their drawing. Despite this evident plan to push my buttons, I still say for the millionth time today, "Thank you, ye wee devils!"
Mum relapsed back to her tense state when she took a look at the paper, "Wait, who's that?" Dad attempts to calm her down again by chortling loudly and patting his wife on the back.
"More importantly, why aren't I there? I was there too! I'm just a joke, is that it?" complained the brunette.
I looked at my brothers' gift to me one last time, letting the picture truly sink-in. I didn't want it to but, once again, she was all I could think of.
Els—
"Who wants caaake?" ruining my train of thoughts on my birthday too, universe?
✧･ﾟ: - *✧･ﾟ* :･ﾟ- *:･ﾟ✧
After winning a race between me on my brand-new spanking skateboard and Jack and Hic on their bikes on who could reach Teana's first (and winning! ((after a couple of scrapes that nothing a band-aid wouldn't fix, of course))), the day proceeded to go by as fast as the miles per hour speed I was going for in the aforementioned race.
Would it be weird if an employee on her day-off decided to spend that day-off in her own workplace? Maybe. But that was where Elsa said we should meet. I'm not going to argue with a Bonnie Haddie, guys. No siree.
It was already three in the afternoon. After the surprise, we stayed at home for a bit to eat some of Mum's homemade meals and a bit of cake. Emphasis on the 'bit of cake' because a large portion of the cake ended up in my brothers' stomachs instead of mine. Happy birthday to them, I guess.
It's been the most normal day in a long time. I forgot how great it was. I forgot that could still work without Elsa around, as much as it hurts me to say that.
"Literally what was the point of us being here again? Did you just want an excuse to show off your skateboarding skills?" Ungrateful bassa, he should be thankful I graced him with my godly skateboarding expertise!
"Aye. Pretty much." I shrugged nonchalantly.
"What skills? All you did was aggressively pushed your shoes across the ground for a whole twenty minutes. You didn't even give us any tricks. What a waste of a good skateboard!" Jackass was being a jackass. "Not to mention you being on the sidewalk and all, while we had to deal with some traffic. Not fair."
I flipped them off, "Imagine trying to humble the birthday girl."
"Oh, don't pull that 'birthday girl' card on us! Need I remind you that you literally didn't even remember it was your birthday today?" Hiccup raises his hands in the air like he wants me to catch them.
"Anyways!" I changed topics, I wasn't going to hear the end of this if we went on further, tilting my head to refer to the counter of the coffee shop without breaking eye contact with them, signaling them to open their wallets and jog on.
It was my prize for winning the race.
"Does Elsa know? You know, about your new job?" Hiccup asks after Jack stomps away angrily.
Details I forget to mention, "No...?"
Hiccup looked like he wanted to squeeze the life out of my eyes, "You're telling me you set your workplace as the meet-up spot and you didn't even make the extra effort of saying, "Hey, I work there, by the way"?"
"You just love pointing out my mistakes, don't you?"
"You mean 'happy accidents'?"
"Wrong artist, nerd."
"Oh! While we're on the topic of artists. How's the drawing been coming along?"
"It's... uh." Before I could answer, Jack had already returned to the table with his bitter face still plastered on, as bitter as the cocoa beans in the shop. Sore loser.
The mad lad stretched out his arms and arched his back as if he had just woken up or that it took all of his powers to make a simple order at the counter. Seconds later, you'd find he just did that so he can sneakily place his arm behind Hiccup's shoulders. Gross. Why go through all that when they have literally seen each other naked before?
I then remembered Hiccup asked something before we were so rudely interrupted by Jack. I couldn't recall for some reason. I didn't expect I'd be experiencing memory loss this early. "Uh, ye were saying, lad?"
"Nevermind." Okay then? He suddenly flashes a weird-ass smile accompanied by quick eyebrow raises, staring at nowhere in particular and looks down on his watch, "Day's almost over. When's Elsa coming? You sure she's not just gonna blow you off again for the eighth time?" he says a bit louder than normal.
"You mean, Porcelain?"
"Shut up, Grandpa. And, aye, she will." About to continue rubbing my victory in his face and pull out the 'birthday girl' card once again, an oh-so familiar voice beckoned me like a siren luring her victims to drown them in the depths of the sea.
"Merida." My heart skipped a beat.
It wasn't Hiccup's voice. No.
Not Jack's. Hell no!
Definitely not one of the frog lovers in Tiana's frog tank. Crivens!
Not one of my co-workers telling me to fetch my order from the counter as they read my name aloud on the cups. Nein!
It was Elsa's.
Elizabeth Denise Ellednera's voice that said my name.
I would recognize that voice anywhere. There she was standing in a nice dress. It was like staring at the sunset. I still couldn't believe I was even allowed to behold a sight like this and to listen to her melodic voice for free. It was just like the first time I laid eyes on her. I felt like a kid lost in the marketplace who's been missing her mother. I found her again.
Or rather, she found me.
"Elsa." without another thought to even register what was doing, I stood up and ran to hug her. I could hear my sneakers drag across the polished floors and my thighs hitting the top of our table, unaffecting me at all.
"Oh—!" she giggles lightly from the force of my embrace, slightly causing her to lose balance where she stood. Her arms then slowly crept on my back, reciprocating the hug.
Normally, I'd be begging the ground to eat me up or find ways to end this humiliation I have brought upon myself. But today, I didn't. I don't regret this seemingly out-of-nowhere hug. I could tell people were staring at us, but I didn't give a shit. She deserved this. She deserves to be hugged. She deserved the entire universe.
I missed her. I missed her so much! I might even cry. Crap, HERE COME THE WATER WORKS!
"Are ye okay?" I pulled away and sniffed a little, not too loud that she could notice. I knew it'd worry her. She waved at the boys behind us.
She sighs but manages to flash a small smile, "Well, I've been better. I guess that's what I'm here to talk to you about." She sighs but still manages to flash a small smile, "I have somewhere to show you, by the way!"
"Somewhere?"
"Yes. I didn't want to spoil the surprise on the phone."
I smiled. It felt so comforting to talk to her again. I'm truly convinced heaven exists on Earth and it's the sound of her voice, "Well, shall we, then?" I lifted an arm for her to take, an inside joke we shared ever since that one spontaneous date night back then.
"R-right now?" I nodded aggressively in reply. The sooner the better! The more time we'd spend together. "But? Jack and Hiccup—?"
"Yeah, what about us?" Jack jokingly sounded hurt. "What about the prize?"
"Prize?" Elsa repeats.
"Screw the prize. Let's go." Hesitation was nowhere in my vocabulary.
"Wait, for real?! I wasted money and for what?!" Jack complains, but we were already on our way to the door after we said our 'goodbyes' to the boys.
"What the fuck, babe? We let them go?" I could hear him tell him Hiccup.
"Welp. We're only secondary characters for this book anyway."
"What?"
✧･ﾟ: - *✧･ﾟ* :･ﾟ- *:･ﾟ✧
"What...." I started, "...are the plans for today? I'm all yours!" I told her as we exited the shop, rubbing my hands together as I still feel that giddiness within me from ten seconds ago linger.
I wish I really could be 'all hers,' if she'll have me.
"Well, first on our bucket list, I need you to apologize to the boys immediately after today, okay?" she crosses her arms and raises a brow at me. I know it was just a bit, but my gods did she looked terrifying and cute at the same time. It made me want to apologize for every bad thing I've ever done in my entire life.
"Noted." So, it goes...
I asked her where this oh-so-magical and life-changing mysterious place that she wanted to show me was. She says she didn't want to ruin the surprise. People really loved surprising me today, huh? This suspense and anxiety pains me so!
It aggravated me even more because I've been living the majority of my life in this tiny speck of land area and yet, for some reason, I couldn't conjure up a mental picture or figure out a place in town that fit Elsa's description of it.
Jings, crivens, help mah boab. Elsa, who's only been living here for a few years, knew the town better than I do!
She said there were "lots of trees, lots of water, and general mossy-ness," not giving me much to work with, as expected.
Suddenly, we took a stop from walking along the road as she unexpectedly wanders through the trees on our right. There was a bald path among the grass that led further out to the distance with a signage in front of us that read—
"This way!"
Yeah, that.
"Uhm, into the woods?" It wasn't that I was afraid of the woods or anything— Dad and I would go hiking all the time. I just didn't anticipate the possibility that she meant the abundance of trees, water, and general mossy-ness in a literal sense!
"I think you mean, into the unknown? Into the open air?" she winks. This lass. "Come on." She grabs my hand and I melt. Can't say 'no' to that!
"You're not bringing me here to murder me, are ye?" I joke.
She fakes a gasp, "Am I that obvious?"
We continued to trudge across the path for a couple more minutes, not letting go of each other's hand. I wish this travelling would go on for eternity if it meant we could stay like this but of course, as life loves to remind me all the time: all good things must come to an end.
"Ta-da!" She lets go and opens her arms to the scenery in front of us. "Aurora Creek's... well, creek!"
I was at a loss for words.
The rhythm of the water rushing, the leaves rustling, and the birds chirping all joined together in harmony as if to perform a live orchestra with Elsa and I as their audience. Trees and boulders messily line up across the shoreline with its branches stretched all across a small stream in the marsh that reflected the ombre of greens as light touches it. The leaves and the vines hovered above the waters like a crib mobile hanging above a wee naked babby. Safe to say that I've never been here before which wasn't really saying much.
I released a breath I didn't know I was holding. I can't find the words. I used to scoff hearing about places like this but seeing one in the flesh like this? It was like stumbling upon the Garden of Eden. Freya's Fólkvangr.
"What do you think?" Elsa asks. My wandering eyes land on her.
"It's beautiful." I spoke in a whisper, looking into her eyes. Not even this safe haven can compare to her beauty. I can't shut up about it.
We sat down among the rocks where the water meets the land.
Once again, I finally got to see the stars in her eyes twinkle after so long. That's the sign. You know she's going to start talking about something she loves again. And, you know you'll love it too. But she caught me unawares once again, as she always does, when she releases a long and unhappy sigh. It didn't sound like one of relief. The atmosphere felt heavy all of a sudden, bone-crushing, even.
I forgot that we were going to have a talk. All the sadness sort of went away when I saw her, as corny as it sounds. The last week didn't sting anymore. Damn, so this is what it felt like.
"I owe you an apology, Mer." she looks away in shame. Now, this... stings.
"Hey," I wanted to hold her, "you don't owe me anything, ye hear? Don't worry about me. I'm the one who should be worried."
She sighs one more time. I hate hearing her like this. After quiet seconds, Elsa explores the scene with her eyes before letting them land on me, "You know, I've only ever been here three times. All by myself."
"So, I'm the first?"
"You're the first."
"The first... victim of your axe-wielding serial killing spree?" I try to lighten the mood despite the darkness in the humor. It seems to have worked as I was able to hear her heart-warming laugh again.
"Speaking of firsts." she pauses, "Hans."
Oh, no. "We don't have to—"
"No...! You deserve an explanation after what happened at the house." I couldn't reply. I wanted to tell her that I would do it all again in a heartbeat, that I don't regret anything that happened, and that she doesn't need to explain anything, but the lass already began talking.
"You see. The reason why I was away was because I've been comforting Anna all week."
Oh? "Oh?"
"She threw a whole break-up party and everything." she hugs her knees like a Teddy bear, "I wanted to invite you, but she confiscated my phone."
It was my turn to chortle. "Thank the stars you didn't. I wouldn't know how to face the lass. I did have a major role in... the thing. I won't be surprised if she hates me."
The blondie turns to face me with radiant Moon eyes, "How could anyone hate you?"
I tapped on my chin and jokingly said, "Well, let's see... maybe if I revealed to you that your boyfriend was cheating on you willy nilly?"
"Silly." Her nudge to my elbow was as light as a feather, "You saved her. You saved me." She whispers her last sentence. I saved her? She was the one who saved me. How I wish I could scream it to her.
"It was all my fault. I should have told her the truth about me and Hans." There she goes blaming herself again. Oh, Elsa.
"Didn't she know that you two dated?"
"No. No one does. I wasn't allowed to but... I fell for him anyways." The thought of Sideburns and Porcelain being together made me want to hurl. The very idea of him even getting anywhere near her, let alone be intimate with her makes me want to go on that aforementioned axe-wielding serial-killing spree. Not just because of the jealousy. That nitwit and sorry excuse for a human being does not deserve Elsa and her kind-hearted soul.
"But he betrayed me when he—" she cuts herself off. It was sharp as a knife, "Stupid girl. I should've known."
The quiet seconds returned, overstaying their welcome until she continued, "They looked at me like I was a monster. There was not one person who didn't hate me that time. Even I hated myself... you'd hate me too."
I'm literally in love with you.
"How could anyone hate you?" I called back. She shakes her head and releases another sigh. It was one of relief this time.
"Fuck everyone. Fuck Hans!" at last, her gaze returned to me after spending so long downcast in a disgrace she thought she deserved, "Let's not let that Sideburns heid-the-baw ruin a perfect day."
"Sideburns?" her cocked brow was higher than Hans' pride.
"Sweet nickname, huh?"
"Sideburns." she says slower. It does roll off the tongue, "That makes him sound way less threatening now."
"Good! Because he isn't. He can't hurt ye anymore, lass." I hadn't realized I placed a hand on her shoulder. Before my cheeks could catch fire, I pulled it away. "A-a-and if he does..." I clasped my palm against a fist, telling her I'm going to beat the living keech out of him.
She laughs through her button nose, "You did hit him quite good that night. It was pretty... hot."
My heart, body, and soul shut down.
"Heh, hotaflufrangipane." the next thing I heard was a splash of water and Elsa's panic-stricken voice echoing through the creek, confirming that my alleged hotness is short-lived.
"Merida!"
I FUCKING FELL IN THE WATER.
JUST LIKE I FUCKING FELL ON MY BUM THAT ONE NIGHT AT THE BAR.
JUST LIKE I FUCKING FELL IN LOVE WITH ELSA.
WAS IT BECAUSE WATER WAS ALL I ORDERED BACK AT THE HOUSE OF RAINBOWS?
THE UNIVERSE THOUGHT I NEEDED MORE?
"What just happened?!" she took fright as I gasped for air. Look what you did, you dumbass! Now she'll never think you're hot!
"Just going for a swim!" DUMBASS.
My big mouth continued, "Come jump in. The water's great!" SHUT UP. JUST SHUT IT, YOU MANGLED FUD!
The Bonnie Haddie shakes with laughter, "The water is disease-ridden, is what it is. Look at the color!"
Water...
Color...
Watercolor!
Fuck!
"Wait!" I hurriedly raced out of the water and back to land like I was in track and field. Elsa stares at me with worried eyes. I pulled out the piece of paper I've been hiding in the pocket of my shorts all day.
My watercolor painting of Elsa.
"Aw, fiddlesticks!" I cursed like a cartoon character quite fittingly as only cartoon characters would bear the absurdity of stupidly fall into water like that, "It's ruined."
It was now the husk of a portrait it once was. Every hair strand I worked hard on now mimicked my own hair when I woke up this morning. Her ocean blue eyes were demoted to be creek blue eyes. Her once stunning smile now mirrors the frown on my face.
I heard Elsa gasp. I know. It's horrible. "Is that... me?"
"Aye. I tried to draw you."
"Mer—"
"But now it's... fucked up." I was about to rip it apart, but she stopped me as she places her hand on mine to grab the paper.
"Are you kidding?" she held it up like it was worthy of being held, "It's beautiful. I don't know how it looked like before, but you know what? It looks better this way!"
Huh?
"You captured my essence really well. What did you say? Fucked up? I love it. A work of art. You are van Gogh's descendant after all." I swear I could hear a twinkling sound as she winked at me. I blushed, hoping she doesn't see as my wet hair covers my cheeks.
"It's so..." and she looked to me to finish her sentence with a knowing smile.
"Pft," I couldn't help but laugh as I fall deeper in love, "...so art."
She continues to adore my destroyed painting. I wanted to believe that she was just saying that so as to not hurt my feelings or embarrass me but the gleam in her eyes says otherwise. It's the same stare she gave when she was eyeing Van Gogh's 'Starry Night' painting way back from our museum date. She wasn't lying. It was then my turn to sigh.
"You really are something, Porcelain."
"Porcelain?" OH, FUCK ME.
"Uh, I meant uh... porch... force... the pain...! Yeah. You force, uh, the pain is... jings, crivens, help mah boab." What's the point? I was past the point of no return. I sealed my fate when I fell into the creek anyway.
"Sweet nickname." she calls back.
Can this day get any worse?
"Speaking of art," she turned away to grab something from her purse, "there's something I need to show you too."
"What? You drew me too?" I jested but the laughter died immediately after she also pulls out her own piece of paper to show me.
There it was, as plain as day, you couldn't miss it— a logo printed on the very top of the document spelling out the words: Ahtohallan University.
"I got in!" Elsa was in the seventh heaven.
"Oh." I realized as soon as I said that how unhappy I sounded. I cleared the lump in my throat, "Oh! See! I told you you'd get in your dream school!" I lost all my laughing skills as it came out thorny and awkward as usual.
"You said it was uh... far away?"
"Yeah, Norway!" she replies, still over the moon and unphased as I am. I wanted to die.
"Norway! No way...! Yey! So... far away." Way to sound supportive, van Gogh.
"That rhymed." This is the first time Elsa's laugh felt like I was being stabbed straight through my stomach instead of the usual flutterbies.
"Aye, aye. It did... far away from Hans!"
Far away from me.
"Right! It's like you said before, whit's for ye will no go past ye!"
My heart's already breaking. Go on, twist the knife.
"Yeah. Yeah, I did say that." I couldn't hide the dejection in my voice this time. "Happy birthday to me."
"It's your birthday?!" I only nodded, my pursed lips were locked in, preventing a smile from forming. "That's amazing because... I have a gift for you."
She does? "Your favorite..."
And she slides toward me a bottle of water with a red ribbon tied around it. What a lass. Marking my progress of my growth since our first meeting: I successful caught it.
We continued to talk for the entire golden hour. She talked about all her plans once she and Anna move away, how she's excited to start anew all over again. Despite my low spirits, I listened carefully. In truth, I was happy for her. This was all she ever wanted. Her first words to me were art-related after all. It couldn't get any more crystal clear in foreshadowing than that.
My heart— no, every internal organ in my body was in a million pieces. Stupid girl, I should've known.
Elsa. Larger than life. A rolling stone. Good girl. Big dreams. Of course, she wasn't going to let herself get stuck in this small and obscure town in the middle of nowhere. She has places to be, a life to live.
Meanwhile, here I was. No real direction in life. I'll probably die here in this wasteland too. Heck, I didn't even know this creek thing was here! I wouldn't stand a chance outside. How foolish of me to think I could be someone in her life, especially when she's already taken up so much of mine.
My head was lowered the entire time, it might as well be submerged in the creek. Staring at the murky waters of the stream, I throw pebbles every once in a while. Each second drew us closer and closer to being apart. Before we knew it, the moon was rising and the fireflies were coming out, lighting up the dark of the creek.
"What a day." she comments. We both stand up, dusting the dirt off of ourselves. My clothes still felt damp from my unexpected cannonball earlier. So were my eyes, "Let's go home."
I was never going to see her again, aren't I?
I might as well let her know. I'll regret it for the rest of my life.
"Elsa. Before you go." Beads of sweat streamed down my back. My hands were ice cold. My hair was still fucking wet. My head was spinning like a planet, and my heart was on my sleeve, beating as fast and as quickly as Elsa arrived and departed from my life.
"Yes?" Here goes everything.
Breathe in. Breathe through. Breathe deep. Breathe out.
There was no real perfect way to tell someone you love them. But, in the aftermath of the war between my heart and my mind, I finally settled with the closest I could get. It's now or never.
"I feel deeply." I inhaled, "I feel... tenderly." —repeating the words she said in the museum.
"Woah, quoting van Gogh, I see." Elsa gives me with a Cheshire Cat smile.
You don't understand.
"I feel deeply, and I feel tenderly." I exhaled, "...about you."
Time stopped. Silence. It was the sort of quiet that would make faint heartbeats sound like an orchestra. Not even the bugs that lurked in every corner nor the whistle of the breeze in the wind would dare challenge this deafening tune.
Just me, her, and the moon.
Fuck, I should've just shut up and kept it all in, shouldn't I?
Finally, the silence was cleared out by a sigh from Elsa. I couldn't tell what it meant, but I could still see her smile shine despite the darkness. It seemed to be its own source of light.
"Come here." she surprises me for the final time by saying. We embrace each other in a tight hug. I didn't know what this meant either.
But it felt like a hug goodbye.
And to further add insult to injury, she finished where we left off back at the Pride Ball and went for the final blow: a kiss.
It didn't feel like one. It was more of a punch in the gut. A slap to the face. A poke in the eye. A kick in the ass. A stab in the back. A wave of farewell. It felt like everything... except a kiss.
Kisses were supposed to be the defining action in sealing relationships, weren't they? The final step towards the beginning of all things good and sweet. But this kiss ended one. Her cupped hand that offered me the warmth of a home leaving my flushed cheeks all alone in the cold was all the proof I needed.
I couldn't kiss her back. I didn't want to accept the inevitable conclusion.
"It was nice knowing you, Elizabeth Denise Ellednera."
"And you, Merida Blythe van Gogh."
We walked back home in silence under the starry night. It was the last time I ever saw her.
The nights were never starry again.
✧･ﾟ: - *✧･ﾟ* :･ﾟ- *:･ﾟ✧
THE END.
"ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴛᴏᴜᴄʜ ᴘᴇᴏᴘʟᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍʏ ᴀʀᴛ. ɪ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛʜᴇᴍ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀʏ
'ʜᴇ ꜰᴇᴇʟꜱ ᴅᴇᴇᴘʟʏ, ʜᴇ ꜰᴇᴇʟꜱ ᴛᴇɴᴅᴇʀʟʏ'." ― Vincent Willem van Gogh