They hadn't moved. The curtains were the same as they'd always been and the name 'Perez' was still painted on the green mailbox she used to hide behind when she was little. She recognised the faded stickers on the bedroom window and smiled to herself - as if nothing had changed in seven years. Rowan scrambled up the drainpipe and clasped the window ledge, letting out a small squeak when she slipped on the decaying wood. After about a minute of struggling and helplessly dangling from the window, she managed to pull herself up and crouched by the glass.
On the other side, lay a boy with cloudy, curly hair snoozing on the washed out, blue pillow. She tutted to herself upon finding the window open and squeezed right through the crack and crept with light footsteps between his legs on the mattress to sit at the side, watching him for a moment before she realised how sketchy that sounded out loud.
"Noah... Noah, wake up." She whispered close to his face, smirking as he began to stir. Rowan sat back to give him some space to wake up, crossing her legs on top of the sheets.
"What the f..." His voice just left when he saw her sitting there, like nothing had ever happened. Tears filled his eyes - she looked... okay. Curiosity rushing through his head, Noah sat up, discouraging the clicks and aches in his joints, and carefully reached for her face. As soon as his fingers traced the skin on her cheek, Rowan immediately pulled him into a long-awaited, painful, but triumphant hug.
The friends stayed glued together in what previously remained as silence before the effect of being apart so long and the remembrance of the years drowned in hurt consumed the both of them. Rowan was at a loss for words - after all, what could she say that would make up for six years of him believing she was dead, and then bumping into her at Penn Station? Whereas, Noah was just beyond relief to know she was here. He squeezed her tighter when he felt her beginning to tremble and sniffle into his shoulder.
"Hey, it okay, it's okay." He whispered and cradled her head. This only made her feel worse, though, because he was the one left in limbo - he was the one who really suffered in their friendship from her escape. After a good ten minutes, they finally peeled apart, both with red eyes and blotchy skin. "Please tell me I'm not dreaming," Noah beamed, still with hands on her shoulders and pushed himself to whisper without crying even more,"I don't think I could handle it if you weren't really here." Rowan stared helplessly into his deep eyes, their only light being served by the street lamps and stars on the other side of his window.
She instinctively put her fingers up against his cheek and muttered,"I'm here."
With that promise made, he pressed his forehead urgently against hers - they were so close, their noses grazed unintentionally. All relationships with this girl who was supposedly dead for seven years were hard to quantify - a complicated, childish, Father/Daughter mess, a mute, mutual understanding with a woman who taught her silently about being a girl, and now a forgotten friendship with a boy who had just hugged her so tight, breathing became struggled.
Noah finally pulled away and kept his face so close their foreheads and noses were still connected."...It's so nice to see you, Ro. I missed you so much and now things can go back to normal-"
"No, it can't." Rowan interrupted, pulling away and no longer looking him in the eyes.
"What? Why not?" He panicked.
"There is no normal anymore. The shit that's happening..." She sighed, feeling him grab her hand before suggesting,
"We should talk."
"Fine, but where's Bagels? I missed him, too." She quizzed, looking around expectantly.
"He's downstairs," Noah chuckled,"I'll go get him." He disappeared out of the wooden door, leaving her to gaze fondly around the room - a few pieces of furniture had been replaced and moved around, but it was basically the same.
Rowan was pushed out of her train of thought by a pair of fluffy paws pressing into the side of her thigh."Hey, buddy!" She ruffled the curls of the excited labradoodle's head as he attempted to lick her. "Remember me, huh?"
"Of course he does." Noah scoffed quietly, shutting the door on the dark hallway,"He loved you." He flicked the light on sat back by his pillow, playing with his dog's golden fur.
"And I loved him back." She mumbled.
"It wasn't burglars, was it?"
"No, no it wasn't."
"...We should really fucking talk."
____________________
"Fucking Hell, this is so good." Rowan groaned, hacking into a cheeseburger with pickles. Her and Noah currently sat at the side of an outside burger bar in the late evening - Noah having decided to carry on wearing his pyjamas after much of her encouragement.
"When was the last time you ate properly?" He grimaced, picking at the fries they were sharing.
"Properly? About seven years ago?" She scoffed,"Nah, it's just been a few days. I was starting to feel sick."
"I can't believe the news saying you and that Butcher guy killed Stillwell. It's not true, is it?"
"Well, not technically-" She paused to pass her drink to the side when he instantly choked on his food,"She was already dead, anyway." She sighed. Rowan let her eyes graze across the night - they instantaneously widened upon landing on those of Susan Raynor, watching her carefully from the other side of the steel table as she sipped a black coffee. "Listen, Noah, I gotta' go get some salt." She patted his shoulder and brought the burger with her to sit a seat away from the Deputy Director, never directly turning her direction.
After a short silence, the smugness in her voice returned like nothing had ever occurred,"He doesn't know you're here, does he?"
Rowan snorted,"What makes you say that?"
"Do you have any idea how wanted you are? He'd never let you outside by yourself at a time like this."
"I just can't fucking escape him, can I? You're the one who's banged him." She grimaced at the memories of when she heard that Butcher and Raynor had a nice fuck in the past. "He acts like my Dad and I can't get the image of you two going at it in a bar bathroom out of my head."
"What's the matter with you? Has he finally fucked you over?" She smirked into her paper cup.
"It was more of a mutual thing." She grumbled,"I always thought we might just deserve each other."
"Well, I've heard he's on the lookout for you."
"Why?"
"Look, kid, he needs you. More than you need him. Now, you two have fucked shit up to high heaven and we can't have you disappearing now Vought is on the verge of crumbling. If you do nothing, they'll bring in some new supes and all that work will have turned to buckets of piss. There's more to this than you're willing to hear." Their gaze finally connected - it was strange hearing someone else feeling sick of their relationship for once.
"I don't fucking care." Rowan smiled falsely,"Fuck all of them - I don't need boys anymore."
Susan let out a short sigh, glancing at Noah before returning to her with the same sarcastic expression she was receiving,"Sure, you don't."
_____________________
"I know you know things we don't - you're all over the news. Can't you just tell me?" Noah flipped out as they walked down the black streets of New York in their pyjamas, pushing past large crowds with Bagels on a leash, pulling excitedly in front of them.
"For the last time, no!" She giggled,"I told you - I want someone innocent in my life. It's not fair I ruin yours as well."
"How do you even get into this kind of shit?" He chuckled in disbelief.
"It all comes with hanging around the right people." She smirked to herself, "Anyway, where are we fucking going?"
"Haley Graham's house." He responded casually.
"What? Why? She's, like, the last person I want to see."
"Exactly - now I know you kill people, we can get revenge once and for all."
"Fine, let's burn her fucking house down." She concluded nonchalantly, sending them both into childish fit of giggles.
"Look at her, singing to herself in the mirror." Noah scowled as they sat on the porch roof, spying through the bedroom window of their childhood bully as his dog sat, tied to the fence.
Rowan tilted her head in thought before adding rather indifferently, "She's not that bad at it."
"Yeah, just like lying - the day after your funeral, she started telling everyone you were best friends for the fucking clout." He grimaced.
"What was my funeral like?" She asked curiously.
"It rained at first and then it got sunnier. Where were you?"
"Getting my face beaten in."
"Nice."
Rowan felt her heart start to pound heavier as the developed blonde wearing a small t-shirt and leggings laid an orange tinged bottle full of small, white pills on her nightstand. Only then did she realise how sad the song she was singing sounded. "Shit, Graham." She muttered.
"You don't think she'd actually... y'know..." Noah nudged her, exchanging the glance of worry and anticipation.
"You know more than I do."
"Th-this is what we wanted, right?" He stuttered out, nervously grasping the window ledge as their conversation turned to whispers.
"No, not like this." She sighed, beginning to stand up as Haley opened the bottle, sat down and ran her hands through her hair. "That shit's gonna' hurt."
"Rowan, no-" He tried to grab her arm but she instantly flinched away. That moment... was a perfect representation of their friendship. Rowan would always have to go that one step further while Noah called after her, cradling his conscience. He assumed knew she didn't quite understand right and wrong - he tried to help but it never lasted.
Rowan silently stepped through the open window and crept across the carpet, reaching out for the girl who took immense pleasure in calling her a queer constantly. Her breath shook,"H... Haley?" She was immediately greeted by an ear-splitting squeal.
"INTRUDER! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"
"Haley, it's me-"
Her lips trembled, bright eyes widening in horror,"R-Rowan?"
She offered a smile, picking up the bottle of pills and screwing the cap back on,"What are you doing with these?"
"Give me them back-"
"I can't do that." She held them out of reach, staring her dead in the eyes,"You know I can't."
"How are you even here? Can't you just go back to sad, little hole in the ground and stay the fuck out of my life?" Haley gestured to the newspaper on her bed, showing a photo of her old classmate on the front page, accompanied by Butcher, of course.
Their argument was cut short by a thunderous bang on her bedroom door, followed by her Father's voice,"Haley? Everything alright in there?"
Haley's head whipped back around to Rowan, a grimace ruining her perfectly-shaped lips. No matter how worried of betrayal she was, Rowan couldn't fully dismiss her cheeks burning up as the taller, much more grown teenager stared at her. "Please." She whispered, head shaking. Her feet froze to the floor as the blonde strode over to the door and... locked it.
"What are you doing here?" She murmured, fiddling with her fingers in front of her stomach.
She had no clue what to tell her, she was essentially choking on her own throat again,"D-don't do it."
"You don't get to say that to me - not after you fucking killed Madelyn Stillwell."
"She was already dead when we blew her up." Rowan repeated,"Believe me, I have tried to blow my brains out... I tried so fucking hard... but it got better."
"You're a murderer, how is that fucking better?" Haley challenged, eyes shifting between her and the door still vibrating from her parent's endless wrapping.
"Because I know someone cares about me. And people care about you so... what's wrong?" She asked quietly amongst the outside chaos, only remembering Noah was outside when Bagels started barking. She watched her eyes wander to a pair of rainbow wristbands on her nightstand and clutched the bottle tighter in her fist. Just as she was about to open her mouth, a bang clapped through the air - her Dad was trying to break in.
"You need to go." Haley began hurriedly guiding her back towards the window.
"No, I-"
"Ro - you have to leave." She pressed, forcing a small smile as she softly pushed the dark-haired girl onto the windowsill.
"Promise me you won't, okay?" She requested, holding out a pinkie finger.
"Promise." Haley returned, shutting the window after her.
"So, you do have a heart?" Noah remarked as they peeked through the glass. The pair of them watched, shoulders connected, as Haley's Dad finally broke down the door and a storm filled her bedroom. She jumped as red splatted in front of them and Haley was no longer standing in by the window. Rowan clamped a hand over her mouth and pulled her friend down to hide against the wall, shock fixed to their faces as terrified screams of her parents muffled through the bricks, something about him not knowing it was his daughter. "Th-that was our fault. We-we really got her... killed."
In that exact moment, two things became painfully clear to Rowan. The first: she could never let her only innocent friend get muddled up in her life. The second: no matter how much she resented the thought of it, she couldn't go much longer without Billy Butcher.