Angel
I walked into the house slowly, feeling dread settle into the deepest parts of my bones. It's a feeling I am becoming all too accustomed too, but this time it's far more intense and resonates with me more then it ever before. It's an instant, instinctual feeling and I immediately know something isn't right.
Suddenly, like I'm not controlling my own body, I race to Blake's room as fast as my shaking legs can carry me. The closer I get to the room, the more fear I feel. Which was strange admittedly, because the last time I saw him he was perfectly fine.
There was just...this feeling inside that just told me to go to him as quickly as I possibly could.
I pushed open his bedroom door, trying to keep my fear at bay. But it was battling to come out, forcing me to become even more on edge then I already was.
"Blake?" I called out.
Then I glanced at his bed, he was laying there but I could only see his unruly curls from the top of his comforter. I quickly walked over, and pulled the sheets down, only to reveal a pool of blood and new marks on his arms. I immediately started crying, and shaking even more.
I knew I should've just come home last night!
I couldn't afford, or handle loosing anybody else. If I lost Blake, then I would lose the last sane part of my soul.
I felt his neck, and luckily there was still a heartbeat. I breathed a sigh of relief, feeling that maybe finally the universe didn't have it out for me, finally I was catching a break. His wounds were already dried over, so I didn't have to worry about him bleeding out.
I sat in the chair in the far corner of the room, just watching his bed, waiting for him to come to. I couldn't help but let my mind wander to what would've happened if he had taken things too far—if he had let his demons and anger consume him; he would've left me last night. I would've been all alone, all over again.
It would've broken me beyond repair.
I watched him for what felt like days before I finally noticed some movement under his sheets. I sit up fully then, wiping any tears that were lingering on my face. Then, slowly he sat up. He didn't even notice me at first. He rubbed his eyes, then looked down at his arms, his eyebrows scrunching in a deep frown.
"Ahem." I cleared my throat, getting his attention. He jumped, then held his hand to his heart.
"Geesh Angel. The hell are you trying to do?"
I looked at him incredulously. "What am I trying to do? I come home, to find your sheets bloodied and your arms torn through like fucking wrapping paper on Christmas morning! What the fuck were you trying to accomplish? Were you trying to kill yourself and leave me here all alone? That would be my ultimate punishment huh?" I was screaming. "Not a fucking beating or, painful and uncomfortable sex, but...loneliness?!"
He looked sad for a moment, and I figured I was being too harsh on him. "Look I'm—"
"My mom...she was here. Last night." He whispered, not even looking at me.
Immediately I was at his side. He never talked about his mother much, so the most I knew about her was that she was a sore topic not only for Blake but for Peter too. I rubbed his bare shoulders, trying to bring some comfort to him.
"Well...what was she here for?"
He chuckled. "My dad. She came to see my dad. Here I was, begging her to talk to me...and she didn't even want to see me. Sh-She ran away from me..."
Then he was crying again. I hated seeing him cry. He was normally so strong and tough, but when he finally broke down, letting his vulnerability's show, it was truly a sad sight to see. I held him, while his shoulders heaved back and forth. I rubbed his smooth skin, while he wrapped his arms around my waist. I held his head firmly against my breast, allowing his salty tears to soak up into my T-shirt.
A part of me was mad before I got home, but now that anger was quickly replaced with almost every other emotion. I was upset for him, I felt guilty, sad, hell I even felt hurt for him. His own mother didn't want to speak to him? No wonder he went on such a bad cutting spree.
I couldn't help but feel curious though, why would his own mother run away from him? She hadn't seen him in years, and her first instinct was to...run? Instead of sitting to have a long life talk or trying to catch up with him?
It was odd to say the least.
"Why do you think your mother ran from you?" I asked, voicing my curious thoughts.
"Because..." he was still sobbing against me. "Because...I'm an awful person. You think you're the first girl I've tarnished with my...toxicity? Well, you aren't. It was originally my mother."
He held onto me so tightly now, recounting his stories, like if he let me go, I'd run away in horror. Little did he know, no matter what he said, I wouldn't ever run away from him.
He was all I had left...
"For as long as I could remember...I was attracted to my mother in ways I shouldn't have been. It was small at first, but eventually it grew into something much more—dangerous. I was so, in love with her. I grew jealous of my dad because he wasn't home much, and I felt like he didn't deserve her." He swallowed. "He didn't put in as much time or effort with her that I did. I saw her as mine."
When he stopped, I continued rubbing his back like a mother would do to her troubled toddler. That seemed to encourage him to continue.
"So one day...I decided to take it upon myself to take our relationship to the next level. I...I raped her. But I didn't know it was rape at the time, I just thought it would be something she'd like."
I shocked and disgusted. I tried to hold in my gasp, but I could tell he felt my body stiffen. He didn't let that stop him though, he continued on with his story, which was becoming increasingly difficult to hear.
"When I got done doing what I did...she ran away from me. Things were never the same after that. I slipped up about two more times, I couldn't control my damn hormones. I was a growing teenage boy with the hottest woman in the world as his mother...I mean what would anybody do? But after the third time, she ran away for good. She divorced dad—and left us. That's when I first started seeing that shrink I told you about."
I nodded my head, remembering when he first told me that he had anger issues, and that he used to see a shrink. "I remember." I said.
"Seeing her again last night, after just leaving you for doing something so screwed up to you...I just couldn't live with myself Angel. I felt like complete shit. I didn't want to be here anymore—I did this to myself because it's what I deserve." Then he looked up at me, his beautiful face twisted and contorted with so many emotions running through his eyes.
"Baby." I held his face in my hands, causing him to reposition his body. "You don't deserve this. You were a boy, you didn't know any better. Even now...you're not a bad person. You're just...special, and you need extra love and attention and care. But you aren't a bad person, and you don't deserve to cut yourself every single time you feel guilty or bad about something." I could feel myself tearing up again, but I held in those tears, trying to remain strong from him.
"What if you would've taken things too far? You could've lost your life last night and left me here... You can't...do that to me Blake. Regardless if I couldn't see it initially, I see it now. We are soulmates. If you die, I die. If you hurt, I hurt. We are one in the same. I need you to survive."
His face was still covered with his tears, but I could tell my words were affecting him. "You do?" He asked.
"Yes of course. I love you Blake. There's nothing you can do to me that'll make me stop loving you. I understand now why you did what you did with Alexis. I understand why you wanted me to come home, I understand Blake. What I need you to understand is that, I am not your mother. I would never leave you."
"B-But you left me last night."
I let go of his face and sighed. That was true, I was so blinded by anger I wasn't thinking rationally when I left. "I understand that, and I am sorry. It won't ever happen again." I replied, then smiled at him.
"I don't know how you do it." He whispered.
"I do it, because you're amazing. You're the best thing that ever happened to me. I fucking love and adore you with every fiber in my being." I paused when he looked at me with so much...admiration and love. "You saved my fucking life. Before you, I felt like a walking zombie. The first time I felt intrigued by anything was when I looked at you. You brought me out of the depths of despair."
"...That's what you did for me too." He replied, his sadness gone, replaced with a look of fierceness and fire. "I fucking love you..."
"I love you too baby." I replied.
Then we were on each other, like waves on a shore. We didn't even care about the bloody sheets. His hands were tangled in my hair, and my arms were wrapped around his neck while he kissed passionately, our tongues dancing with each other. He grabbed my body, and flipped me so that I was laying down on the bed and he was on top of me.
Immediately my body started heating up, while he was laying in between my legs, I could feel his member harden against my core. He pushed himself against me, letting me feel just exactly how hard he was for me.
"Fuck..." I moaned, I was so wet, every thrust just made me even more sensitive.
Then he started kissing my neck, making sure with each kiss he gently sucked it. I just knew, whenever we got done there would be a load of love marks for everyone to see. But I didn't care, I wanted any evidence of him I could have. I wanted to treasure our love forever.
He gripped my breasts in his large hands aggressively, then ripped through my t-shirt. Apparently, he didn't have the time to take it off, then he removed the torn fabrics and pulled down my bra exposing my erect breasts. He put those in his mouth too, his tongue swirling around the hardened nipples. Each time he licked up and down against them, it only added to the moistness growing between my thighs. I started squirming, letting him know that I needed him soon.
"I fucking love you." He said in between sucking my breasts.
"I love you too..." I more moaned it then said it.
Then his kisses started tracing from my neck, to my breasts, then to my navel and I was practically shaking with need. He knew it too, as he hurriedly took my pants and panties off, leaving my center dripping wet and exposed. He growled almost anomalistically, then plunged his tongue deep inside of my entrance.
"Ohhh fuck!" I cried against him, as he expertly flicked his tongue in and out of me.
Then he plunged a finger inside of me, moving his tongue from my entrance to my sensitive bud, going in agonizing circular motions while his tongue never ceased. I started moving, trying my hardest to handle the sensations that were building up inside of the pit of my stomach.
It was too intense, I barely knew how to handle it. I dug my hands into his hair, while he continued aggressively handling my sex like a pro. It made me wonder how many times he did something like this. Then, that familiar feeling came back, and I just knew I was close to coming.
"Fuck, I'm close!" I cried.
Then he abruptly stopped, removing his hands and his tongue from me. I opened my eyes, glaring at him while he wiped my wetness from his lips.
"Why'd you stop?" I felt like I screamed.
"Because baby...it's time." He replied simply.
"Time for what?" I asked.
"It's time for us to have real sex." He continued.
"Oh." I swallowed, suddenly nervous and fearful. "Do you think I've been on birth control long enough?"
"I guess we'll find out." He said, then pulled down his pants, revealing his member that seemed even more massive then before.
I felt so scared... He was going to put that big thing inside of me? It sat there, hanging dominantly while I stared at it. Large in stature and beautiful to look at it was hard to tear away my gaze.
It was intimidating to say the least.
"O-Okay." I said.
"We don't have to...if you don't want to."
It felt foreign to me, and probably to him too. He was asking me what I wanted? Suddenly my decisions and my choices mattered to him? Maybe he really was changing...maybe he really wasn't that bad of a person. I didn't want to disappoint, so I just shook my head, then said:
"I'm fine. We're fine. Let's do this."
Then, right away he was inside of me. He wasn't gentle or slow with it, like so many other girls had claimed their boyfriends were. He was just inside, and I gasped with how it felt. I felt more stretched out then his hands had ever made me feel, it felt like it was fitted for my body. I was surprised with how much I actually liked it.
"Fuck!" We both said in unison.
"I'm going to have to go...really...really slow. Or else I'll probably cum very fast."
So he went slow, like he said. Stroking in, then out gently never fully pulling himself out. Pretty quickly, there was that same built up tension that was slowly but surely trying to boil over into a mind blowing orgasm.
Soon, he started picking up the pace, apparently he was feeling it—the tension—just as much as I was. His member slid against my folds and inside of me, causing me to feel every single movement he made, which also caused such an amazing friction that only added to the tension that was already building.
"Oh...baby!!!" I moaned, then wrapped my arms around his back, digging my fingernails into it. "Baby, I'm going to cum again!"
"Shit me too." He cried.
Then we let go together. To say I saw the stars was an understatement. My body began jerking with the aftershocks of my orgasms, my toes were curled and my back was still arched. Hell, even my eyes were still squeezed shut after coming down from the best orgasm he had ever given me. Then he pulled out of me slowly, smirking like he knew he did something amazing.
Which he did...
"What are you looking at?" I asked, not being able to resist smirking as well.
"How do you feel?"
"I feel...amazing." I replied honestly.
"Good, I'm glad this isn't something you regret."
"Oh, absolutely not."
"Well baby, I guess there's one thing left to do." He replied.
"What's that?" I asked.
"Take a shower." He replied.
"Oh I couldn't agree more."
I hope you guys are enjoying these more mellow chapters. But I hate to break it to you, shits about to go down for Angel.