omg this was so fun to write
guys-
im...
have fun? reading??
tw: murder, attempted suicide
♡
• 3 years before •
Ursa was scrubbing dishes in the sink filled with soapy water. There was a pile of plated and cups and any other porcelain dish you could imagine.
Zuko had come into the room several times to show her drawings he had made of his friends.
"Who's this? You've never drawn her before," She brushed a strand of dark hair from her face, leaving small soap bubbles on her temple.
"Oh, this is Mai," Zuko smiled. "She's cool."
"That's very nice of you to draw your friends," Ursa said. "And they're very nice, but I have to finish these. But after I'm done, I'll come and draw with you."
Zuko grinned and ran back into the dining room. Ursa sighed and looked out the window in front of her, soft light blinding her momentarily. She shut the white lace curtains and continued working.
Ozai was going to come back from the office late at night, so Ursa could finally have some time with her son. He was always stuck with Ozai, doing minimal tasks for him as he worked at home such as bringing him paper from the printer that was on his desk already.
Ursa placed the last knife onto the dish rack, and dried her hands on a towel. Zuko peeked his head around the corner briefly to see if she was finished.
but then his mother screamed, the door was kicked open. Ozai was standing there, his tie undone and shirt slightly open. He was sweating, and looked beyond angry.
Zuko watched from next to Ozai, hiding behind the door frame. His father walked slowly towards Ursa, spewing curses and slurs at her. Zuko didn't know what he was talking about, he wasn't really listening. He was staring at his mom, he wanted to run to her, but he couldn't move. He willed his feet to move forwards, but they wouldn't.
Zuko looked down before he heard metal scraping against metal. Ozai had pulled a knife from the dish rack. Ursa was backed up against the counter, crying and apologizing over and over. Zuko finally moved, carrying him down the hallway and towards his mom.
He came to an abrupt stop when Ozai plunged the knife just under her rib cage. There was a wet crack, almost a crunch as he twisted the knife. Ursa gasped for breath, grabbing at the knife. Ozai pulled it out of her. Zuko stared at his mom, who was choking on blood. Ozai held her by the neck until her hands stopped struggling against his grip. He kept shushing her and saying it was alright.
Zuko fell to his knees, tears streamed from his cheeks. He wanted his dad to comfort him, and as much as he hated Ozai in the moment, he couldn't help it.
Ozai held the knife towards his son with wide eyes, speckled blood on his face. Zuko let out a strangled cry, backing away on his hands and knees. He looked at his mom and wiped his eyes of tears.
"No, no, it's okay," Ozai reached a bloody hand towards his son. "Come here."
Zuko crawled towards him, vision blurry with tears. "D-Dad... Momma is... She's-"
"Shhhh," Ozai put a hand on his cheek. Ursa's blood smeared on Zuko's skin. His smile faded, and his voice was no longer high pitched as if he was talking to a beloved pet. "I always hated you anyways."
The fire engulfed the side of his face, and he screamed, but Ozai grabbed his shoulder with his other hand and held him in place. As his skin bubbled and was burned off, he couldn't see anything through the tears of his one working eye. He felt around the ground with his hands, grabbing everywhere as his father tried to kill him. He grabbed the knife, coated with Ursa's blood, and stabbed Ozai in the gut.
Ozai yelled in anger and fell backwards, and Zuko turned and stumbled onto his feet, running for the door. Ozai didn't chase him, but Zuko felt like he was, and as he burst through the door, screaming for help, he was trying hard not to pass out.
He saw the neighbors running from their house, and fell to the ground.
Zuko woke up in the hospital. There was bandages covering half of his face, and he couldn't speak. He didn't want to, anyways. There was no one in his room except a nurse.
"Oh, welcome back, sweetie," She said, patting his hair.
Zuko reached up and touched the bandages, but then regretted it when a sharp pain hit his face.
"You were badly burned," The nurse said, still smiling. "Do you want anything?"
Zuko shook his head and closed his uncovered eye. The other one wouldn't open, and even if it would, it was dark under the bandage. Everything ached, and he wanted to go to sleep and wake up at home with his mother.
"Your uncle will be here soon," She said as she left.
Iroh arrived a few short hours later, after he had been to the police station. He rushed into the room as quick as his stubby legs would carry him.
"Zuko," Iroh gave him a solemn look. A moment later, he spoke again. "Your mother...."
He knew this already, he just didn't want to think about it. His voice cracked horribly when he talked. "...What about my father..?"
Iroh shook his head. "He's in the hospital."
Zuko sat up, ignoring the pain everywhere in his body. It hurt to talk, but he tried anyways. "I have to get... I have to leave, leave, I have to leave!"
"He's in custody, Zuko!" Iroh grabbed his arm and forced him down. "He's handcuffed to the bed on the second floor."
He calmed his breathing best he could and stared out the window instead of looking at Iroh. He wanted to be alone, and Iroh sensed this, because he patted his arm and left the room, sitting on the bench outside.
<3
It had been about a month since the accident, and it was time for Zuko's bandages to be removed. He was scared, scared of what was left of his charred flesh.
When they cut through them, there was a large burn mark on his face, but he could see. His eye are partially closed, and his skin was rough to the touch.
"Of course, you'll have to wear bandages while you sleep... but during the day, you don't have to," A male doctor told him. "I think you look very handsome. You'll be fine."
Zuko didn't respond, he just kept running his fingers over his skin.
When he went back to school, finally, he didn't wear a bandage. Zuko immediately went to his friends. Three of the four turned around and ignored him. Mai gave him a sad glance.
"Zuko, you need to go," She said.
"But-"
"Leave," She said, more forcefully. "We don't like you anymore."
Zuko sat alone for the rest of the year. He didn't care, he hated when people stared at him anyways. He liked the turtle ducks a lot more, he usually gave them his lunch. No one would talk to him, but when they did, it was to make fun of his face.
Even teachers avoided calling on him for questions. He didn't mind. It brought far less attention to him when he wasn't being the only speaker in the room. He was left alone for group projects if you got to choose partners. He didn't mind.
Zuko was signed up for therapy, with a therapist who seemed nervous constantly. The therapist would always get more nervous when he brought up his suicidal thoughts. He didn't mind.
When Iroh questioned him furiously about why his therapist had called and said he didn't think he could help, Zuko said nothing. He didn't mind. Iroh was just angry.
And when he told his teacher he wanted to end his life, the teacher was worried. For a span of five minutes, when Zuko couldn't take her pity anymore and said he was just joking. The teacher dropped it immediately. It was starting to get to him. It was like no one cared whether he lived or died. And he realized he didn't care either.
So, two years after his mother's murder, Zuko was standing on the edge of the hotel he worked at. They had told him that day was his last, and so he grabbed the roof keys, and there he stood, 45 floors above the ground.
The ground seemed so far away. He was scared. He didn't think it was going to be so far away. Zuko lifted his foot up, looking at the ground, and all the people who didn't notice him about to take his life.
He wiped his eyes, crouching down on the ledge. Zuko tried to calm his breathing, but he kept hyperventilating. He thought he should move away from the edge in case he fell, and then caught himself. Zuko looked up at the sky, laughing through tears.
He finally fell backwards onto the asphalt roofing and rolled onto his side, hugging his legs. Zuko laid there for almost an hour in the cold air before returning downstairs.
He wanted to jump. He regretted not doing it, but he also knew he would regret the jump as soon as he made it. Zuko pulled his hood over his face and gathered his belongings from the locker.
"Sorry to see you go," His old manager said to him as he left.
Zuko scoffed, and threw his uniform on the floor before leaving.
<3
Iroh decided it was time to move, and Zuko didn't agree or disagree. He hated staying in this house. Every morning he sat in the room where it happened. But he felt like he should.
The release of pressure when they left the house for what Zuko knew as the last time was immense. He smiled, genuinely, for the first time since his time on the roof.
"I found you a new school, too," Iroh said as they drove.
Zuko was too happy to even notice what he had said. But, in the end, it didn't matter what school he was going to. He was out of the house. And he'd never see it again. Someone was going to move into it and cover up the walls and the floor. Hell, maybe they'd tear it down and rebuild it.
It had been three years by then. Zuko didn't have or want friends. He blocked his feelings down, and some of his memories were so blurry and faded because his brain had locked them away.
He didn't care that Mai and his other friends who he couldn't remember exactly what they looked like now had abandoned them. Zuko liked to think he left behind them instead.
After a long, long drive and multiple motels, they finally arrived at their last destination. A trailer park. Zuko didn't care. He actually liked it, it was small and he had a new bed and everything.
"Maybe you can start drawing again," Iroh said, looking at a small desk inside the trailer.
"Uh, no...." Zuko swallowed.
The last time he'd drawn was right before... Well, you know. He went to his room, which was just a mattress taking up the entire space, and climbed inside. He shut the door and locked it.
Zuko felt ready for another start, one where he would focus on his work, no distractions from friends he didn't need, no distractions from unwanted memories.
But he could never fully forget that day. It was painted on his mind.
<3
oop
guys i wanted to tell you that you WILL find out why Ozai murdered Ursa. That's right, this story hella involved so keep the fuck up
thought I should get you up to date on what happened :)))
anyways, i hope you enjoyed !! It's been a while since I've written anything gory or a murder scene, so apologies.
love you all <3
2012 words!!