// Plot:
Present: during Captain America: Civil War
Past flashbacks: 1940s-1950s
Enjoy!
//
*flashback to 1949*
Training in combat is the activity that I enjoy the most. It's been 3 years since my fiancé died but it still feels like yesterday. When I fight I feel all the anger at the world being let out. I've been living in one of Howard's mansions still acting like a body guard for him and I know he does this for me. I have been trying to train him but sometimes I think my teaching skills need improvement as he is still fighting like a girl.
"A-ha" Howard pins me down and laughs catching me off guard.
"Fine. You win... this time." I say watching him having my arms pined on each side of my body.
"I find this position strangely familiar." He jokes letting go of my arms and I roll my eyes looking at him still straddled on my lap.
"I bet it is." I watch him dust off as he's standing and helps me get up too.
"I'm telling you, Y/n, you would not regret spending one night in my room." I playfully roll my eyes at his continuous invites and I jerk away his arm laughing at his request.
"You'd have to sanitize the whole room before I would even step foot there." I smile and he sighs.
"Right, if that's what it takes, I could hire a team to sanitize the whole mansion." Howard pours a glass of water and hands it to me.
"Stark they don't have enough disinfectants for a room, and you'd ask for the whole mansion" I emphasize the idea of him whoring out to a maximum level and he squeezes his eyes a bit tilting his head.
"Actually this past month, I've only had-"
"Ah ah ah. I really don't need to know the details of your intercourse life." I place my fingers in my ears like a little child and Howard laughs at my reaction.
"Sex is fun Y/n, you should try it." He speaks and I gulp watching him lost remembering my Bucky.
"Not that is any of your business, but I did... quite a lot." I say and his smile fades knowing he just remembered me of Bucky.
"You never tried it with me." He says trying to lighten up the mood.
"Nor will I ever do that." I smile to the person that lately has been becoming my best friend... my only friend.
"At one point you will have to do it... not with me, but anyone really. It's not good for your health." Howard tries to encourage me into seeking another man but I don't quite feel good doing that.
"Thank you Howard, but I can take care of my self perfectly." I speak knowing that probably the chances of me moving on from Bucky are slim down to zero. He was my everything, no one could ever replace him.
*end of flashback*
I look at Tony walking towards the empty factory. Steve Bucky and Sam went to meet Sharon Carter to get their belongings back. I decided to call Tony and surprisingly he came. I smile feeling like I am almost meeting Howard. They look so much alike, even the way they walk.
"I know you." He says looking at me and I nod.
"Hi Tony, I'm-"
"Y/n Y/l/n. I know. You helped my father and Cap's old girlfriend found Shield. " Tony cuts me off and he is looking around. "What troubles me is the fact they got you out of the cryo two years ago when we learned about the existence of the Winter Soldier and now when he resurfaced, so did you." He adds checking me out and I know this look better than anyone as it's the same look Howard had looking at me.
"He was not the bomber in Vienna." I say and Tony smirks nodding. He sees the laptop on the dusty desk and he tilts his head looking confused.
"What is this?" He asks me and I sigh walking there and pressing play.
*video starts playing*
Howard: I did it. It worked, Y/n. The cryo works. You've been frozen for one year now. You'd be happy to hear Shield is growing as a department.... I am recording myself to let you know that I miss you and so when you will be woken, you have this. You can watch me whenever you miss me.
Howard chuckles and the video switches to another.
Howard: I took your advice you know? I stopped messing around. I know you'd be proud of me and maybe a little shook to find out I have a girlfriend. Yeah you heard correctly... we've been dating for about six months now. I just hope when you wake up you'd do the same and leave the ghosts of the past in the past.
*video is interrupted*
Tony pauses it and looks straight in my eyes.
"You've said you have information on the Winter Soldier. This is old news* he says and I gulp looking at the stone cold man standing in front of me.
"Just watch it." I say and press play again.
*video starts*
Howard: These confesionals are amazing. I finally understand you. I finally understand the love you carried for sergeant Barnes. I understand the loss of your best friend Steve too, you know? I've lost my best friend too the day I froze you. But I understand now why you wanted it. You said I was never capable of such love but I love Maria more than I love myself and I don't know what I would do if I lost her. I've asked her to marry me and believe it or not she said yes.
I see Tony gluing his eyes on the screen as the video switches and there's a little baby crying there.
Howard: Hey Tony. Say hi to aunt Y/n. Yes that's right, you're such a beautiful baby boy, everyone can tell you have your father's looks.
Tony furrows his brows confused and shots me a glare as the video switches again.
Howard: Hey Tony, be careful with that.
The toddler chuckles softly and turns his head to the camera.
Howard: You're missing life Y/n. Sometimes I just want to wake you for a day to have a chat with you. I wish you could meet Maria and Tony. You'd love Tony. I am sure you'd want to meet him. If they wake you up and he's still alive, promise me you'll meet him and remind him just how much his father loved him. Okay? Hey Tony! Say hi to aunt Y/n.
Young Tony: Hi aunt Y/n. Dad? Who is aunt Y/n? Can I meet her?
Howard: see? You're missing everything Y/n. I miss you.
*video ends*
Tony looks down at me and studies my face.
"Congratulations. You've made it into my father's friends list." He says with a straight face and I sigh.
"Tony-"
"No, you don't get to call me Tony. Alright? Enough bounding for a day. You're not my aunt, you know iota about me." He says and I sense his anger building up.
"I really want to get to know you." I say meaning it and he chuckles nodding.
"Buy a ticket darling, plenty of people are queuing to that one." He says smirking and I gulp hearing footsteps. "Where are they now?" He asks me and I gulp seeing the look on his face. God he looks so much like his father.
"Don't do this." I know it deep down that he's about to betray Steve.
"I just asked a question." He says shrugging taking a sit on a bench in the abandoned factory. I feel it in my bones there are a dozen agents ready to burst in this place and I look around trying to find a way out.
"Howard had the same look right before doing something he knew he was going to regret." I say looking around and he squeezes his eyes tilting his head watching me.
"That just tells me you knew my father better than I ever knew him. I know I'm not going to regret this, you hide information about fugitives so that makes you an accomplice." Tony says and I know my fate is sealed.
"Bucky was with me in Romania. He didn't bomb Vienna. He may be the Winter Soldier but that doesn't mean he can be in two places at once." I say and Tony shakes his head.
"You're wasting my time. Jarvis, set a flight to Queens." He speaks and I furrow my brows looking at him.
"Tony, you can stop this now, before it leads to things both you and Steve are going to regret. "
"Here's an idea. Tell your boyfriend to come forward and I'll leave Steve out of this." Tony speaks turning his back at me and I see a bunch of FBI agents flooding the place.
"Y/n Y/L/N, you're under arrest for aiding and abetting." I see them with their guns pointed at me and I close my eyes. Bucky's gonna lose it.
"Stark. You're on the wrong side." I shout as they put cuffs on me and make me kneel.
I start to feel the air leaving me and the anger building up like never before.
"You're going to a special place." The agent tells me and I feel I'm about to break all hell loose.
***
They locked me up in a super max prison underwater and I feel like I will go mad in here knowing I could have listen to Bucky and Steve and just stay with them. I just feel like I could have done much more by listening to them than be so arrogant into thinking Tony is Howard.
"Sam?" I ask seeing him being locked in front of me and and he gulps. I have been locked for a few days now and it's strange seeing people being imprisoned with me.
"They got away. Bucky's real mad at you, also worried." He tells me and I gulp looking at him. Fuck I feel like I'm about to throw up. Oh no, I really am going to. I run to the bathroom of the cell and feel my insides turning. "Are you okay?" Sam asks me as I come back and I nod even though I am not feeling okay. Not okay at all. I cannot do anything but sit there and hope Bucky and Steve are okay. Why is this reminding me so much of the war?
Pacing around in that cell makes me so anxious and I feel the walls closing on me. I look up and see the one and only Tony Stark making his entrance in the underwater prison, laying the law on his old friends. I watch his face expression and it almost makes me smile. I was right, he does regret this. He does look a lot like his father. He moves his legs to Sam's cell and I watch them careful.
"I just knocked the A out of their AV system. We've got 30 seconds until they figure out it's not an error of theirs. This man was supposed to interview Barnes. I was wrong. I made a mistake. Now tell me where they are." He says quickly and Sam shots me a glare to which I nod. I know Tony tries to do the right thing now.
"Only if you go as a friend." Sam says and Tony assures him that is the case so Sam tells me where Bucky and Steve are. Stark turns to me and squints his eyes.
"Why is she here?" He asks seemingly confused and the State Secretary walks in towards Tony.
"She broke the accords." he speaks and Tony shakes his head.
"No she did not. There was no proof she was with the Winter Soldier during the bombing of Vienna, not to tell you that she's not even part of the Avengers, she broke nothing. When you said you will arrest her, I thought you meant those 24 hours that you can legally keep her in arrest. You don't have a case against her. Let's be fair Secretary. You did not build a case on her. She has nothing valuable to offer and you know it. Set her free." Tony says and the Secretary gulps.
"She is his life partner-"
"The only thing that she did wrong was fall in love with the wrong person. Don't be that vigilante you talked such a big game of." Stark says and everyone is confused but the Secretary seems to really listen to Stark and they set me free.
I step outside confused as they hand me my belongings and I follow Stark to his chopper and listen to his snarky remark towards Mr. Secretary.
"Auntie." He smirks looking at me and I squeeze my eyes watching him as the door of the helicopter closes. "You were right." His smirk fades and his jaw clenches a bit. "I was on the wrong side." He says and if he's anything like his father I know saying this was hard for him.
"I am glad you came to your senses." I smile and he nods.
"We're even now." Tony smirks and I watch him quite confused.
"Even?" I raise a brow and he nods.
"You know. You kept my father out of prison, I got you out. We are even." Him saying this lets me know he looked into my past more than I thought was possible.
"Actually, I don't think a son should carry his father's debt, plus Howard and I got even when he invented the cryo I was kept alive for so long. But since you did put me in the prison, you getting me out is quite the blank slate we deserve." I smile and Tony nods smirking.
"You know, I did not remember him like that." Tony speaks getting all serious again and I gulp not quite following him. "Those videos you showed me. That was the first time I actually heard him saying he loved me."
"I suppose I remember him a bit different too, but I did got to see his caring side and believe me when I tell you that when he cared for someone, he would do anything he could to make them happy, to make their life a better one. When he was working on the cryo he got so obsessed into the work, he seemed so distant during that time, but I knew he was like that because he gave all he had into making sure I get to live my life the way I want, to make me happy. I know he did love you and he probably got so obsessed about fixing the world you will get to live in, that he distanced himself from everyone so he can give all he had into making your life a better one. Sometimes when you love someone so much, you might end up getting so fixated into making their world a better one and end up distancing yourself from that person while your obsessions grow deeper." I say and Tony smiles weakly looking down. "Or end up putting the world in danger while trying to protect it." I say and he squeezes his eyes.
"You know about Ultron?" He asks almost ashamed.
"I had a lot of free time while building a life with Bucky in Romania. But I did not bring that up to make you question yourself, I brought it up to remind you how much you resemble Howard in becoming so overly obsessed with something you just can't help yourself. I know you did what you did because you just wanted to protect your world and make it better, just how I know everything Howard did was because he loved you and he wanted your world to be better." I say and Tony nods smiling softly to me.
"You know? You might just be the Stark whisperer." his words make me chuckle and I suddenly get a warm feeling I have missed. "So you and Barnes. How did that work out? I thought Hydra wiped him up." he changes the subject and I nod.
"Well they did, they turned him into this serial killer, trained assassin who did all their dirty work." I say and Tony nods.
"And yet you still sleep with him." He jokes and I chuckle softly.
"I know that whatever he did, it was not him. He would not have done those things."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that."
"He almost killed you." Tony remarks and I smile watching him.
"You almost destroyed Earth and no one wiped your head to do so, yet people stay by your side and they care for you." I say knowing that people deserve a chance at forgiveness.
"Touche, but to be fair, I did save the Earth quite a few times too, you know from all the aliens trying to rule Earth." He smirks and I chuckle shaking my head.
I feel the chopper landing and a sudden nostalgia takes over me. I miss flying planes. Tony gives me some weapons so I can defend myself. I look confused at Stark as we see the building, it's so quite. Maybe the other Winter Soldiers didn't wake up yet, or maybe Steve and Bucky are dead. No no no, I cannot let these thoughts creep on me.
"Stay behind me." Tony speaks and I nod feeling such a familiar chill. I hear someone move and I point it out to Tony and he opens the door while shielding me. "At ease soldier." Tony raises his hands and I see the cap of his suit being removed.
"Tony? What are you doing here?" I hear Steve ask and I take a step forward, they probably cannot see me as the suit is so big. I see Bucky lowering his gun and a sound of relief escapes his lips.
"Dollface, you had me so worried." He steps closer to me with open arms and I run towards him.
"Hey Trainwreck." I smile wrapping my arms around his neck and I feel his arms hugging me tighter.
"Well I was dying to see this reunion." I hear Tony saying and I feel Steve tensing up. "Maybe your story is not so crazy. Ross has no idea I am here and I would like to keep it that way, otherwise I got to arrest myself and Y/n too, and I just got her out of that prison." Tony speaks and Cap smiles but I feel Bucky's arm tightening around me as he hears the word prison.
"It's good to see you Tony." Steve says putting the shield down. "And Y/n don't ever to that again." He looks at me like he's about to scold me but I chuckle hugging my arms around him.
"I missed you too buddy." I say and he playfully shakes his head. I see Bucky's jaw is still clenched and I hate seeing him so worried about me. "I am okay Buck. I promise." I smile planting a kiss on his lips and I feel his hands putting me up against the wall.
"I swear I cannot lose you again. Promise me you won't ever do what you did and put your life in danger, not for me, not for anyone." He tells me and I gulp knowing I can't promise him that.
"You won't lose me. I can promise you that." I say and he doesn't look to satisfied.
The four of us search the whole place but we get to the room where the other Winter Soldiers are supposed to be and when we get there, we see them all dead.
"What the hell is this?" Tony asks and we hear a man talking. He is the one who framed Bucky, he is from Sokovia and he lost his family during that battle and wants to take the revenge in his hands.
"I am here because I made a promise. I lost everyone and so will you." He tells Steve and I gulp looking around. I am starting to feel really trapped in this place and the tension is only building up. The man presses a button and I see a date in Russian popping up on a screen.
Instantly I turn my face towards Bucky and I see him lowering his eyes. He taught me Russian and I recognize the date. I gulp looking around and I know I need a way out because I don't want to see that. I cannot see that.
"An empire toppled by its enemies can rise again, but an empire which crumbles from within, that's dead, forever." The man behind the glass says and I look at the screen and see a road. I close my eyes and I feel tears forming in my eyes because I know I don't want to see the love of my life killing one of my best friends. I don't want to see that. I don't want Tony to see that.
"I recognize the road." Tony speaks and I walk towards him placing my body in front of the screen.
"I don't think we should watch this, Tony." I know I am talking to myself and trying to convince myself not to watch that screen. I look at Steve and then at Bucky and I am scared, because once Tony sees this he will be governed by hate and anger.
"I think we should." Tony says placing his hands on my shoulders and turning me around. I feel tears in my eyes as I see Bucky's fist slam into Howard's face. I cannot even look at Bucky right now because I don't want him to have to look at me. I love him too much to hurt him the way I am hurting right now looking at the screen. His hand wraps around Howard's wife and I feel the air leaving this room too. Bucky's face is so cold in this surveillance tape, like he feels nothing at all. I can't let my brain process this because I feel Tony behind me tensing up so I turn myself quick placing my body between his and Bucky's. Steve quickly holds Tony and I can see anger and pain in those eyes.
"Did you know?" Tony asks me and I gulp not being able to say anything so Tony turns his face towards Steve. "Did you know!?" His voice is cracking and at the same time full of anger.
"I knew Hydra killed him. I didn't know it was him." Steve says and I turn around quickly to look at Bucky and I see him hurting so much it almost kills me.
"Bullshit. Did you know?" Tony asks once again waiting for a more convincing reply and Steve gulps nodding.
"Yes." as the word rolls off Steve's tongue, I feel Tony losing it and thrusts his elbow on Steve's face so hard he loses balance.
"Y/n get out of my way!" He says showing me his hand ready to shot fire.
"Tony please. It wasn't him. Bucky loved Howard." I stay as a human shield not wanting anyone to get any more hurt.
"So much so that he killed him. Careful there auntie, he might kill you too from all his love." Tony speaks out of anger and I feel my body being grabbed out of Tony's way. I hear shots fired as I fall on the ground and I tilt my head knowing it will only end in fighting.
As I stand up I see both of my boys fighting Howard's son and it all feels wrong. I don't like this at all. I take my weapons out and it's like me and Steve already think alike trying to hold Tony busy while Bucky could get away.
"Y/n go with him." Steve yells at me as we both fight Tony.
"I'm not living you." I say to him knowing I can't face Bucky right now.
"Aww that's sweet." Tony says thrusting his tech on me but Steve shields me from it. "Isn't that technically your superpower? Leaving people? That's what you do. I think you should do it again." Tony adds as Steve punches him, but Tony lifts himself from the ground and flies shooting laser up to make a wall collapse, stopping us from following him.
"I think there's another way out." I say as Steve tries to remove the wall.
"You go find a way I'll try to get through here."
It takes me a while but I do find another way out, only to realize Steve found his way out way before me. They are still fighting and Steve barely moves. Tony is about to kill Bucky so I run towards him trying to stop that from happening. Tony throws Bucky to the wall and I jump on his back making his stop his way.
"You saw what he did and you're still protecting him." He says and he thrusts me with one of his non-lethal hand tech and I feel my body hitting a wall and collapsing.
"It wasn't him." I cough trying to stand up.
"He killed my mother, he killed my father. You say that he was your friend. It doesn't look like that." Tony yells wrapping his hand on Bucky's throat and I stand up and shot my gun at his suit.
"I love him." I whisper falling near Bucky's body just as he regains his consciousness. He looks at me and stands up angrily pushing Tony to the wall, holding his head pinned against the wall while the metal arm tries to take the battery out of the suit. I see a flashing light spun from Tony's chest and I see Bucky falling. Steve stands up and keeps Tony away. The only strength I have I use to crawl to Bucky's body and I realize Tony ripped his metal arm off.
"This is your last warning. Give up." Tony says as Steve covers Bucky's body.
"He is my friend." Steve says looking at Tony and I can feel so much pain in Steve's voice.
"I was your friend too." Tony speaks and I feel tears well up in my eyes because this voice of disappointment sends me back to a memory of mine.
"You're selfish because you want to be woken up to a different world one with no one you know in it while all of us here have to spend our lives without you." Howard tells me disappointed and I gulp looking at him.
"No one is going to feel my absence here." I say knowing how Carter is doing her thing and Howard is always busy growing with his empire.
"I will." He says looking into my eyes almost angry at me. "You'll never get them back. Rogers and Barnes are dead, no matter when you will wake up, they will still be dead." Howard spits his words like venom and I feel he is angry at me for choosing the coward way out.
I cannot seem to take this because my brain is filling me the images of Bucky killing Howard and then the same brain gives me back all the memories I had with him. Howard was my best friend in the years I thought I had no one else. Why am I feeling so responsible for his death?
Steve pushes the shield in Tony's suit battery and stands up taking a step towards us to help Bucky get up. I get up too holding Bucky from the other side.
"You don't deserve that shield. My father made that shield." Tony speaks and I look at Steve feeling so much guilt building up inside me and he closes his eyes letting the shield hit the floor.
Steve finds us refuge in Wakanda as king T'challa takes an interest in fixing Bucky's mind. It's only been one day but I can't find it in me to look into Bucky's eyes still and I am trying so much but it's like every time I do that, I see him killing Howard.
"I am sorry." Bucky leans towards me as we lay in a bed and I am having my back towards him. I feel his hand touch my shoulder and I squeeze my eyes shut trying to hold them tears back because I cannot face him like this.
"It was not you." I whisper trying to erase that memory from my head. It's like it just hits me, Howard's death just hit me hard and I cannot control the process of grief.
"So you keep saying, but it was. I did it. I killed your friend and whatever Hydra put inside my head it's still there and I don't know how to control it. I am a problem, Y/n. I am sorry for all the pain I am causing you." He says and I cannot stop myself from crying because I know deep down it's not his fault. I know it, but I can't help but see him killing the one person who had helped me survive all those years. The one person who made sure to set up an account with money in my name, the one person that was there for me when my world collapsed.
I feel his only arm trying to hold me but I cannot turn around and hold him, because I am ashamed of myself, I hate this part of me that blames him. He lets go of me as I try to calm my sobbing and I feel him standing up from the bed. I feel out of breath and I cannot do anything, I cannot say anything
*Random Howard Flashbacks*
"Yes! We did it Y/n. Hah. You and Peggy are amazing." Howard spins me around and I chuckle proud that we could finally clean his name in front of the police.
-----
"Why are you pouting like that? Did someone not get enough satisfaction last night?" I ask Howard as I make my way to the breakfast table.
"If only. I am stuck on this." He shows me a detailed plan of some invention of his and I tilt my head looking at it.
"Well maybe try using titanium instead." I say and he furrows his brows and softly a smile appears on his face.
"You are so right, its density is way lower. Oh my God, why didn't I think of that?" He chuckles almost proud of me.
"Well Mr. Stark, you have a saying, I am indeed amazing." I smile taking a seat next to him, but he stands up excited.
"You are, you so are!" He cups my head and kisses my forehead. "Thank you." he spins around like a child running towards his lab and I shake my head laughing.
---
"You really think you are funny?" I ask Howard as he just made a dirty joke and he nods innocent.
"I think I am actually adorable." He smiles taking the cupcake in front of me and biting it as he winks at me.
---
"I brought you tea." I hear Howard knock on my door and I wipe the tears from my eyes.
"Can you leave it at the door? Thank you." I say clearing my voice and trying to stand up from the bed. Today is one of those days I feel memories of Bucky and Steve overwhelm me to the point I cannot breathe properly. I get off of my bed and I open the door to see Howard waiting there with the tea in his hand sipping from it. I give him a strange look and he shrugs.
"What? It was getting cold, I asked Mr. Jarvis to bring one to you now." He says entering my room. "What's on the list today?" He asks sitting on my bed.
"Actually I was thinking I would spend it in bed." I say staying in the door.
"Perfect, join me. I promise not to make any dirty jokes." He smiles knowing I am not feeling well at all.
"I was thinking of doing it alone." I tell him not wanting him to see me like this. It's been over two years since my fiancé and best friend died.
"Well I was feeling down today. I thought I could use your shoulder to cry on." He says and I feel Mr Jarvis behind me bringing my tea.
"Thank you, Mr Jarvis." I say and then I turn to Howard who's staying in my bed quietly. "Fine, but just this time." I say and he smiles softly to me.
"Come here." He says and I lay my head on his chest while he caresses gently my hair. "I promise everything will be alright." His voice is soft and I know he is doing this for me.
"I miss him so much." I whisper as I feel tears roll down my cheeks . "I can't remember his voice and the more I try it's like I can't touch that memory. I cannot remember his voice and his features slowly fade too and I feel like I am forgetting him and I can't stand this idea. I don't remember the way his hugs felt. I know it's a warm feeling but I can't remember it properly, I cannot remember his scent, as much as I would smell the perfume he was wearing it's not the same, I know something is missing and I don't know what." I cry feeling like I am letting Bucky down.
"I think I have some videos. Would you like me to bring them to you? That way you can listen to his voice whenever you want." Howard whispers and I nod.
*End of Howard Flashbacks*
What am I doing ? I cannot torture myself with memories of Howard being a good friend. I cannot do this to myself. All the time I have spent with him I missed Bucky and when I didn't miss him I would miss Steve and then I would miss Bucky again. Now I can have Bucky and I am choosing to miss Howard. I cannot do this.
*Random Bucky Flashbacks*
"Can I have this dance?" Bucky turns around and offers me his hand. I smile placing the glass of wine down and I nod standing up. He cooked dinner for me tonight and I don't know what has got into him, but him being so overly romantic makes it hard for me to see him just as a friend.
"What's gotten into you these days?" I smile cheekily stepping closer to him. He spins me around and pulls me closer to his chest.
"Well here it goes. I like you Y/n, I don't just like you, I have some feelings for you I cannot explain." He presses his lips into a thin line and I don't know if it's the wine or purely my brain, but I know I have started to feel something for him too for a while now.
"More than a friend should care for another friend?" I ask him and he gulps nodding softly.
"More than that." He whispers looking down and I see his eyes resting on my lips. I gulp feeling like our bodies are magnets and I am just drawn to him. I stand on my tip toes and I lean in to kiss him for the first time in my life. I feel his hands on my face and I close my eyes feeling out of breath as our lips are inches away from each other. The moment our lips attach to one another I feel the time stopping and I feel my whole body reacting to his so strangely. I have never felt that for a man in my life.
---
"Don't go. Lay in bed with me five more minutes." I beg of him and he chuckles.
"I have to go to work Y/n" He says and I pout not wanting him to leave so early in the morning.
"Fine, five more minutes, but if they fire me, you'll just have to provide for us both." He jokes leaning in to kiss me.
"Okay." I smile moving my body on top of his pressing my lips on his letting our tongues do their dance. I love the way his hands feel on my body.
---
"What?" I laugh seeing him stare at me as I sip from the tea cup.
"You are so incredibly beautiful." He bites his lip looking at me and I smile loving the way his eyes are watching me. "and smart, and amazing. I just cannot believe I ever got so lucky to have you in my life." He smiles and I raise a brow loving his words so I put the cup down and step towards him.
"Careful Mr. Barnes, you might just become luckier tonight." I say straddling his lap as he is sitting on the other armchair.
"That's what I am hoping for." He smiles and I cup his face planting a kiss on his lips. He leans out and takes a deep breath looking at me. "Marry me" He requests looking at me with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen. "Everyone always judged us for living together and not being married, but I know I want this to be the rest of my life, with someone who doesn't care about social standards, who is purely amazing." He adds and I chuckle nodding.
"Okay, let's do it, let's get married."
---Romania 2015---
"We never got to do it." I hear Bucky saying as he comes in the apartment from work.
"We never got to do what?" I ask confused placing the book I was reading down. I see him coming towards the couch I am sitting on and touches the necklace where the engagement ring is and I gulp looking at him.
"The marriage stuff, the wedding." He says looking at me and I chuckle not really caring about that.
"It's okay neither of us ever cared about social standards." I say and he nods tilting his head.
"You said you wanted to spend your whole life on the run with me. Did you mean that?" he asks and I nod.
"Of course." I say and he takes off my necklace taking the ring in his hand laying on one knee.
"Well I meant when I said I wanted to have a normal life with you, I want us to be a family. So marry me." He smiles and I feel happy tears as I see him in front of my eyes so unbelievably in love.
"Whenever you want. I am forever yours." I smile and he places the ring back on my finger, where it was supposed to be.
"I love you so much."
*End of Bucky Flashbacks
This is wrong, I cannot stand this feeling. I turn around but Bucky is not here anymore. I get up quickly from the bed and run towards the door. I need to find him. I need to tell him I love him and I forgive him for everything he has ever done. I find him on the couch in the living room. King T'challa was kind enough to set up an apartment for us to feel comfortable. I see his red puffy eyes and I feel I will break down in front of him.
"I will ask them to put me in the cryo until they find a way to fix me." He says not looking at me and I am searching for his gaze.
"You're wrong. You are not causing me pain. Your presence never caused me pain, it made it easier. I am the one who is sorry. I needed to process Howard's death, but his death is not your fault. It never was. I am sorry for making you feel like it was." I say and he looks up to face me.
"I need to be fixed Y/n." I see his glowing eyes search desperately for my face.
"And I am sure, Shuri will find a way, if you want to be put in the cryo then I will go with you, because I meant my words. I will not spend another day without you in my life, never again. I don't care what Hydra used you for, I don't care what you did when you weren't the one controlling this mind. Okay?" I say straddling his lap and hugging him.
"I am sorry for making your life so much harder, for putting you in the place where you have to defend me for-"
"Stop, please. I forgave you, the only one you should apologize to is yourself, because I forgive everything you did, it's time you did the same." I smile and he gives me a weak smile and nods.
"I know we were supposed to get married this month, so how about we really do it after Shuri fixes me?" He asks me and I chuckle looking at him.
"Let's do it now, I want to marry every part of you, the 1940s you, the New York you, the Romania you, I want it all, even the Hydra you. I've said in the past that I am forever yours but I want you to be mine completely. No man left behind, right? This is what governs us so I want James Buchanan Barnes, I want Bucky and I want the Winter Soldier, I want to marry all these men. You don't need to be fixed with me, because I love you with the good and bad." I let my thumbs swipe the tears falling from his eyes and he closes his eyes pulling me closer to him and crushes his lips on mine.
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Well this is it. The short Bucky imagine has come to an end. I really hoped you enjoyed this. If you did please Vote and Comment.
Have a lovely day!
-Kate G.