My feelings,
My mind,
My body,
My anxiety,
My insecurity.
Every single bit of myself makes me go crazy.
I want one night, where I can sleep without a nightmare waking me up. A day where I can feel safe and happy for once. I want to feel like there's nothing I need to worry about. Not my looks, my friends, my thoughts, just nothing. I want to be myself. I don't want to think about what I look like, if I'm making the right choice or if I'm pleasing the people. What I want is pure happiness, the feeling of being free. It doesn't need to be something fancy. It can be only me leaning against a tree, while reading a book. Or it can be me sitting on my bed, drinking hot chocolate. It can be anything and anywhere as long as it makes me happy. That's what I want, and this is who I want to be.
But in this society it's hard to archive something you want. Everyone is expecting you to be someone you are not. And it makes me feel sick, knowing I could never be the person I want to be. Knowing that I'm only being someone to please people, as if I'm an object you can use anytime you want. I guess that's my fate, being someone I'm not.