Ruth had no fucking clue what was going on between Ashton and Nova.
All she knew was that at the moment, she was eating breakfast with her roommate and lunch with the curly-haired boy, and they never spoke about each other anymore. She had attempted to pry, she had asked both of them what had gone on that night when she had left them alone to get food, but they had become aversion experts overnight.
It's not like she didn't have secrets of her own, but she had a strange feeling that whatever they were hiding was bigger than what she was keeping from her two friends.
Ruth Williams was in a relationship, and her friends had no idea. They always asked, of course, but she found it easier to shake her head, smile, and tell them that she wasn't looking for anyone. She just wanted to focus on passing her classes. She didn't know why she was so keen on hiding parts of herself from Ashton and Nova, as she knew that they were two of the most accepting people to ever walk the face of the earth, but she didn't want them to treat her differently. And besides, how would she even tell them? What kind of conversation would present her with the right kind of circumstances to casually announce hey, I've been in a relationship for the last three months and I'm pretty sure I'm in love. She comes into the diner every night while I close and she makes me feel really nice. Did I mention she's a girl? Because she is and I'm gay and you guys didn't know that and now you do but I still don't know if I want her to meet Ashton because his jokes are so stupid she might leave me already-
In short, Ruth found herself in a bit of a predicament. It felt like she was living three separate lives all at once and she despised it; but there was nothing she could do but sit back and watch her friends drift apart and her girlfriend quickly start to question why the hell she wasn't allowed to meet her friends, why it seemed like no one was allowed to know about them at all.
"Ruth," a voice interrupted her thoughts - the ones that had been plaguing her for days.
She looked over at her girlfriend, blinking at her in response.
"You just seem really far away, is everything okay?"
Ruth smiled inwardly at the question. She loved her girlfriend, and she wasn't one of the people who felt like she didn't deserve someone like her because she genuinely felt like maybe she deserved someone who treated her right and held her hand and kissed her forehead before she fell asleep in her arms.
She just wished she could treat her the way she should be treated.
"I'm okay. Just tired," She looked down at her fingers that were resting on the top of the shiny countertop.
And she was tired, but that wasn't why her mood was so drab. She had started to wake up earlier in the last few days; not because she liked being up early, but because it gave her enough time to stand outside of the dining hall and watch Nova Montgomery sit down in the seat next to Luke Hemmings himself - she'd spent so many mornings out there she had been able to see the bruises and scars on his face slowly fade over time.
Luke would always stay until the designated time that Nova had set aside for breakfast with her friend would arise, and Ruth would watch him walk out of the door and down the sidewalk before she dared to move towards the entrance herself.
A few times, she swore she even saw him crack a smile as he walked away.
She wouldn't deny it; Nova and Luke seemed to make sense. She knew that Ashton despised the blonde boy but he never gave a solid line of reasoning for it; both her and Nova had agreed to avoid the boy at all costs. But the more days she spent looking at the two of them sitting together at a table (if you asked Ruth, they seemed to be moving closer to each other every morning), she began to notice that Nova smiled brighter when she'd come home from classes. She spent less time by her phone texting her father at every interval and more time being present, something she hadn't been doing for the past year.
It was glorious for Ruth to see, so she never revealed what she saw every morning. She would walk in, sit in the seat across from the one that the blonde boy had just occupied a few minutes ago, and talk to her best friend.
"Ruth, are you listening to me?"
Her girlfriend's voice snapped her out of her intrusive thoughts once more, "Sorry," she spoke sheepishly, "What were you saying?"
"Me, your girlfriend, Harper, was asking what time you get off tonight."
Ruth smiled lightly, "I get off at eleven."
Harper rolled her eyes and stood up from the barstool she had been sitting at for the last half hour, "Once you get off, call me. Let's go see a movie tonight."
"It's a Monday night," Ruth deadpanned.
"So?"
"I have class tomorrow morning."
"So?"
The one thing Harper and Ruth never related on was school. Harper had dropped out after her first year to pursue a start-up business on her own. She had gotten lucky and found a spot in South Bend, Indiana - three hundred miles away from her home in Cincinnati - to open her own bookstore and coffeeshop. It was a cute little place - the first floor was a maze of tall bookshelves and the stairs led up to the coffeeshop area where the few customers read their books and sipped on their overly-specific lattes.
It was actually how Ruth and Harper had met in the first place. She had found the place her freshman year; when she was feeling a bit lonely and wanted to explore town. She hadn't been able to connect with anyone other than Nova yet, so she was hoping she might be able to forge connections with fictional characters to make up for the lack of social life that plagued her every time she opened any social media app. She had thought the place looked charming and she deemed it worthy of her interest. She had found a book to read and sat in one of the coffee shop chairs when she saw Harper for the first time; blonde hair above her shoulders, green eyes, a pair of glasses resting on the tip of her nose.
Back then, she was still so far in the closet that she almost convinced herself she wasn't immediately attracted to the girl. And when Harper sat down next to her and asked about the book she was reading, she assumed it was because the store was dead and the owner was desperate for any social interaction - like Ruth was. She mistook her flirting for niceties (because really, in this day and age, it's hard to decipher when girls are being nice or intentionally flirty), and their friendship went on for months. They never saw each other outside of the bookstore, but Ruth had made sure to make her visits more frequent; each time she spent a few minutes longer in that chair.
The first time they kissed was in February of Ruth's freshmen year. She had come by the shop to help Harper set up Valentine's Day decorations - which involved taping paper hearts to the windows and emphasizing the variety of romance novels in various sections of the store. They had eventually decided that the coffee wasn't cutting it anymore and they decided to sneak into the bar close to campus and get black-out drunk together. However, it didn't lead to a black-out - it led to Ruth finally working up the courage to tell Harper how she felt and it gave Harper the courage to kiss Ruth right there.
So their relationship was still less than a year old; that's the reasoning Ruth always provided Harper whenever she asked why she hadn't been able to meet her friends yet. And that was why she let Nova feign the idea of having privacy; Ruth didn't pry and ask about why she was sitting at a table with the one guy Ashton had told them never to speak to because she knew it would be hypocritical.
"Let's do Friday night," Ruth smiled at Harper, "I have something I need to do before then."
She didn't realize just how dangerous Nova's and Luke's interactions were until she decided that she needed to intervene - not with Nova and Luke, with Nova and Ashton.
She devised the perfect plan; on that Wednesday night, she texted both of her best friends separately.
Ruth to Nova: i have a really huge project due next week and i have to interview someone for it HELP!!!!
Ruth to Ashton: hey. can u meet me at the diner tonight? i have a huge project that i need ur help with
Of course, since her friends are arguably too loyal for their own good, they both agreed. Ruth and Nova planned to walk to the diner by themselves and Ashton would come on his own, unknowingly forcing the three of them to interact and figure out what the hell was going on.
So the girls sat together at one of the booths. One nervously awaiting their third guest and the other innocently dipping her fries into the chocolate milkshake her friend had made for her. She had yet to question why Ruth hadn't bothered to bring her backpack, a computer, a pen; at the moment she was entirely too focused on the food in front of her - which was her friends exact plan.
"So," Ruth cleared her throat, "How have you been?"
Nova looked up at her with an eyebrow raised, "Ruth," she cleared her throat, "We literally live together."
Ruth laughed nervously, "Does that mean I can't ask how you are?"
Nova didn't catch her friends nervousness - she also didn't catch what she was insinuating, "I've been okay. I have a lot of homework to get done so I'm hoping we can make this interview thing go quick."
Ruth nodded, "Yeah, I'll definitely try to make it as quick and as painless as possible. You have a hot date or some-"
The bell above the door jingled and both girls looked in its direction. There in the doorway stood one Ashton Irwin, wearing black skinny jeans paired with a black shirt and an intimidating leather jacket. A pair of clear Aviator sunglasses were balanced on his nose.
"What," He started, "The," He gritted his teeth, "Fuck?" He began walking towards the booth, "Ruth, what the hell is going on? Why is Nova here?"
"Ruth," Nova's voice was soft; no detection of anger, but Ruth could tell it was laced with hurt, "What is this?"
Ruth looked between her two friends, "Ashton, can you sit down?"
"No."
"Ashton."
"I want to know why I'm here right now. Because if the reason has anything to do with Nova, I need to leave."
"Why?" This time, the voice was Nova's, "What did I do to make you hate me?"
"I don't fucking hate you, Nova-"
"Keep your voice down, prick. There are still people in here," Ruth scolded her older friend.
Ashton took a quick look around the diner and noticed a few groups staring up at him; some confused and others quietly entertained.
"Go back to your fucking food, mind your own damn business," he snapped at the customers.
"What the hell has gotten into you? You never act like this at lunch-"
"You've been going to lunch with him? Without me?" Once again, Nova's voice was laced with hurt. Ruth almost couldn't look at her.
"Sit. Down. Ashton."
This time, the curly headed boy listened to Ruth. He slid into the booth next to her, across from Nova.
The table was enveloped in silence for awhile. Nova twiddled her thumbs in her lap, clearly disinterested in the melting milkshake in front of her now. Ashton shook his head angrily and stared straight ahead at the wall, and Ruth looked between her two friends incredulously.
"Now," She broke the silence, "I want to know why you two suddenly refuse to speak to each other."
Nova shrugged her shoulders, "I'd like to know that, too."
Ashton gritted his teeth once more, "Nova, you don't understand."
'Don't understand what, Ashton? You kicked me out of your apartment and then refused to text me for weeks. You even sent Luke to give me a sweatshirt that wasn't even mine. What the fuck is going on with him now, too? Are you suddenly friends? Has the 'lifetime Luke ban' been lifted-"
"No," Ashton slammed his hands on the table angrily, causing both of the girls to jump, "The fucking ban has not been lifted for that godawful asshole. You both need to stay away from him, okay?"
"Then why did you have him give me that sweatshirt?"
"What sweatshirt?" He leaned back, suddenly confused.
"I don't know. It was some random hockey one. He told me you wanted to give it back to me. It's not mine, I don't even know why you think it is-"
"I didn't tell him to give you shit. Your name didn't come up once in our conversation."
"Wait, wait, wait," Ruth entered in the conversation, "You're telling me you're talking to Luke? What the fuck is that about? I thought you despised him?"
"I do. But we have a history. A history that I can't talk about and I never will. That's why I haven't talked to you, Nova," She looked up at the sound of her name, clearly having been lost in thought from the realization that Luke Hemmings did not have a reason for being in her hallway that morning, nor did he have a reason for giving her that sweatshirt. Why did he give her that sweatshirt, then?
"I've been trying to wrack my brain for an explanation to give you because you deserve one for what you saw that night, but I can't think of one."
"Then you should just tell us the truth as to what's going on with you and Luke," Ruth suggested.
Ashton shook his head quickly, "No. You can't know that shit. You won't get anything from me and you sure as hell won't ever get an ounce of information from Luke, either. Neither of us ever want to relive those days. So don't make me."
If Luke was there, he would've said something along the lines of, "I relive those days every time I close my eyes," But he wasn't there, and no one at the table knew him well enough to know about those nightmares or the contents within them. Not yet, at least.
"Then you at least owe me an explanation for refusing to even speak to me for the last few days," Nova sat back up in her seat, her interest in the topic clearly renewed.
Ashton shrugged, suddenly looking desperate, "Nova, I'm begging you to let this go. I didn't know how to talk to you again because I didn't know how to have the conversation we're having right now."
"So what? You were just going to ignore me for the rest of my life?"
"To avoid the confrontation of this conversation? Honestly, it was pretty likely," Ashton shrugged sheepishly.
"Okay so, wait," Ruth spoke, "What happened that night?"
"Luke started knocking on the door-"
"Nothing," Ashton looked over at Nova with a warning in his eyes, "Nothing happened. Nothing Nova should've seen, anyway. And nothing she needs to go around sharing."
It was weird, seeing this version of Ashton. It was weird for both girls. They had known the giggly version of Ashton, the one who made lame jokes and treated them like they were his younger sisters. This Ashton was only known by a few people; Luke Hemmings was one of them - and Calum and Michael weren't too far behind.
"I'm sorry, Nova. I really am. I just want things to go back to normal."
"So what's going to happen the next time Luke shows up at your door? Are we going to go through this again?"
"No. He won't be coming back. You'll never have to see him again, I swear."
Ruth looked at Nova's reaction to this statement. She caught the quick look of conflict, of sadness, in her best friends eyes before she quickly looked down and brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. She wanted to speak up, to say, "Nova will see him again. She'll see him for breakfast in the morning," but she knew she couldn't. She would never do that to her.
There were a few moments of silence, all three of them not knowing where to go with the conversation; was it done? Should they start talking about the weather? Did Ruth actually need help with a project?
"Why do you hate him, Ashton?" Nova's voice was gentle and slow, like she was afraid of his reaction. Ruth looked over at her sympathetically, knowing that she seemed to have a soft spot for the mysterious blonde boy.
There was another pause. Ashton trained his eyes on the table as his fingers drummed nervously. Both girls waited anxiously.
"He's bad news, Nova. He's never going to change - believe me, I tried to help him. A long time ago."
No one spoke.
"Both of you need to promise me something right now," Ashton sat up in his chair again.
Both girls looked up expectantly, already having an idea of what was about to come out of the curly-haired boys mouth.
"Promise me that you'll stay far, far away from Luke Hemmings."
Ruth looked over at Nova again, almost able to see the gears working in her head. She could tell that she was conflicted and Ruth could understand why; was this the end of her breakfast rendezvous' with the hockey player? Would she sneak around behind Ashton's back?
Ruth's thoughts were broken when Nova pursed her lips and looked up at Ashton, "I promise."
Ruth snorted loudly, "You don't have to worry about me going near him."
Ashton and Nova's heads both turned to their dark haired friend.
"Why do you say that?" Nova asked.
Suddenly, Ruth was nervous. She hadn't planned on telling them today, the plan had been to make Nova and Ashton talk to each other and maybe - if they were lucky - move on from whatever drama had occurred. But telling them she was gay? That was not on today's agenda.
"I, uh-" Ruth scratched the back of her head.
Ashton's eyes widened in questionable realization.
"Do you know something? Did you see something? What do you know about him? Who told you-"
"I'm gay, dumbass. Completely and utterly not attracted to men. Unless we're talking about, like, Javier Baez. But I don't think he counts."
Nova smiled at her best friend and took her hand from across the table, "I love you and I'm proud of you. Have you come out to anyone else?"
"Well, my girlfriend, I guess-"
"Hold the fuck up, girlfriend? You have a girlfriend before me? Is she cool? Did she laugh at my Roberto joke? You told her that one, didn't you?"
Ruth rolled her eyes at Ashton, "No, idiot. Your jokes haven't come up in conversation," She looked between the two of them, "Her name is Harper. You guys should meet her."
Nova nodded excitedly, "I'm so happy for you."
"Me, too," Ashton spoke, draping an arm around Ruth's shoulders, returning to the smiley and giggly boy the girls were used to seeing. It was almost as if nothing had happened between them, "She has to come hang out with us ASAP."
As Ashton continued to ask Ruth questions about Harper, Nova found herself deep in her own thoughts.
She'd never be able to introduce Ruth to Luke. She'd never be able to invite him to their movie nights or out to get pizza when they got drunk. Did she even want him to be around her friends? Did she even like him? There was something about Luke Hemmings that drew Nova to him, and she couldn't figure out what. At this point, she could almost consider the boy a friend. Their mornings together had become her favorite part of the day and she was hoping that he didn't mind them either.
Of course he didn't. He was actually becoming very fond of hearing her morning voice and watching her slowly gain the energy to giggle at the jokes he made solely to see her smile.
It felt like Nova had just sold her soul to Ashton and he had no idea. He thought he was being helpful - maybe he was. Maybe there was some dark secret deep inside of their past. Maybe Ashton was right - maybe she would never know what happened between them.
Maybe the blonde boy was a bad person. Maybe Ashton told her the truth. Maybe Nova got too lost in the boys bright blue eyes to notice any red flags. Maybe the way she looked forward to seeing him every morning because she knew he'd sit a fraction of an inch closer to her than the day before was clouding her judgement.
Maybe she was starting to like Luke Hemmings.
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hi i cannot believe how long it took me to finally get back to writing but here i am!! i started college a few weeks ago and its been super stressful but last night i decided it was time to get my shit together and get back to doing something i enjoy that isn't binge watching brooklyn 99 again. i decided to make this chapter a bit more about ruth than luke/nova because ruth deserves the world and i haven't been giving her the credit she deserves. also this chapter may be filler. just be thankful its something and be thankful that ashton is back.
i don't even know if i like this chapter so please let me know if you do.
also, im gonna start asking a question at the end of every chapter just to get y'all to interact with me more because i don't have a lot of friends in college and apparently the only time i talk to people is through social media but please respond so i don't look like a complete loser.
what's your favorite album right now?
ok now that that's out of the way, lets get to the boring stuff; i start work tonight which isn't exciting but i also have a job writing for the newspaper which IS exciting. i write my articles on wednesdays and proofread them on thursdays so i can have it done by friday. since i was able to figure out a plan for that i decided that i should be able to come up with a plan for writing my fics, too - so here's what i came up with; i'm going to spend sunday/monday writing and the chapters will go up on monday/tuesday respectively. i wrote this chapter last night (monday) so im publishing it today (tuesday). if monday and tuesday pass and i haven't written anything i need all of you to yell at me.
im so sorry for the wait, especially with "rain." i'll probably be updating "invisible string" a little more frequently since the chapters are shorter and i'm going to start "gamertag" soon. i love you all. thank you so much for sticking with me.
omg one last question; we need a ship name for nova and luke. drop some suggestions.
- emily <3