"Zanne! Papalapit na oh!" Hagikgik ni ashia
"Wag nga kayo!" Pagsusuway ko sa kanila. Masyado nila akong tinutulak tulak at Yie ng yie si sun dahil palapit na yung mga grupo ng lalaki at nagtutulakan pa para makalapit samin.
"Buti na lang may hiya, paano nalang kung wala" sabi ni suinnee sabay inom.
"Hindi ako makagalaw, wala akong kilala" sabat ni suinnee habang lumilinga linga, pumunta sya dito sa cebu for three days lang aniya'y deserve nyang umalis dahil sobrang hirap ng finals nila recent week.
"Uh. Hi" nanginginig na pagbati ng isang lalaki sabay tingin sakin.
"Im sorry, not interested" pagbabara ko sa kanya.
Siniko ako na suinnee at si ashia naman ay biglang naging mahinhin.
"Hi, I'm Javier" isang matipuno at maputing lalaki ang umupo sa tabi ni suinnee.
Umusog si suinnee palapit sakin, nagulat pa ako sa inasta nya.
"Kapal mo! Lapitan mo na" ashia said to suinnee in her gritted teeth.
"I-im, Sav" ani sun.
Nagkatinginan kami ni Ashia, hindi ko napigilang tumawa.
Naguusap sina Sun at Javier ng biglang nagsalita si sun at tumingin samin.
She cleared her throat before talking. "May ipapakilala si Javier"
"Hi, Ladies. This is my friend, Diego" pagsisimula nya. Tumango at ngumiti kami sa sinasabi nyang Diego.
"Zanne" pagpapakilala ko.
Javier tilted his head a bit and stared at me.
"And you are?" Diego referring to ashia. He seems to be interested with ashia.
"I'm Ash" ani ashia. Why the hell they're not telling their real names!
"Bro." Malamig na tugon ng boses lalaki.
Tumingala ako, and saw Ilios, he glanced at Javier and Suinnee, then Diego and Ashia. He kissed my cheek and sat beside me.
"Ah! She's the girl! That's why she looks familiar." ani Javier habang nakatingin sakin, he has accent, tsaka iba yung physical features nila ni Diego. May lahi siguro.
"I was looking all over for you" ilios whispered. I offered him a drink and communicated with the guys here.
"Since when did you arrive here in Cebu?" Tanong ni ilios, 2nd year palang kami ngayon Medtech, si ashia naman nursing. Habang si Suinnee naman ay 2nd Year Accountancy.
"Just yesterday" diego answered.
"May lahi ba 'to girl?" Dinig kong tanong ni suinnee kay Ilios. Ilios chuckled and nodded.
"Yeah, half spanish" tugon ni ilios. "And, don't speak straight in tagalog, he can't catch up" dagdag pa ni ilios.
Sumipol naman si suinnee na syang ikina iling ni ilios.
Tumayo kaagad si Ilios bago luminga. Sabay sabay kaming tumingin sa kanya, naglahad sya ng kamay at tinanggap ko naman iyon ng walang pag aalinlangan.
"Teka, saan kayo? Talagang aalis pa talaga kayo ha?" Wika ni suinnee.
"Isabay nyo to zanne, hindi ko to madadala sa dorm namin" sabi naman ni ashia.
Sun started murmuring and then gave javier a smile.
"I'm sure she'll book a hotel room" ani ilios bago ako hinila.
"Where are we going?" Tanong ko sa kanya.
"Top of Cebu" aniya
Ngumiti ako habang nakaupo sa front seat, hawak nya ang kamay ko habang nagmamaneho, nakangiti lang ako sa loob ng sasakyan buong byahe.
"Ano na naman to?" I asked him when we're now in top of cebu.
"Yiannis brought me here, and when i saw this place, you popped right into my mind." he said admiring the place andito kami sa rooftop, hindi gaano karami ang tao dito, may mga upuan at stool bar sa may gitna.
"Why did you bring me here?" I asked him getting curious. The place was beautiful. "And why did yiannis brought you here?"
"Why do you have to ask questions?" Aniya sabay halukipkip. "And, marami kaming pumunta dito" aniya sabay tingin sa paligid.
Tumango ako at sumandal sa glass railings, tinanaw ko ang ibaba, street lights made the city beautiful, ang ganda pagmasdan ng syudad.
"Saan mo gusto mamuhay? Sa syudad o sa probinsya?" Tanong ko sa kanya
I've always questioned myself about that, hindi ko alam kung saan ako maninirahan, i like the idea of living in the province kasi tahimik and away from the city crowd, and traffic jam, crowded areas and busy people. But i love to admire the night. Night's in cities are extremely beautiful and relaxing.
And sa City we all get we want, not like in the province you have to purchase what's there unless you'll have to wait for a couple of days for it or you have to travel to bought it but when it comes to Living peacefully, Province is the answer for that.
"Kung saan mo gusto.." sagot nya.
Napakurap ako ng ilang beses sa sagot nya, he gave me a smile and went closer. Inakbayan nya ako, ng mahigpit, niyakap ko sya sa baywang nya habang naka akbay sya sakin. Naramdaman kong hinalikan nya yung ulo ko.
"I want to be with you until we're old, I wanna marry you and have kids with you" aniya
I chuckled as i leaned on his chest and hugged him tighter, feeling his warmth, in his arms i never felt so scared or anything instead i feel safe and secured.
"I want six. Six kids" sabi nya at hinarap ko sya. Kunot noo ko syang hinarap, 6! Ano ba yan!
"But I want 4" sabi ko naman.
"6, love. I can imagine 6 kids running around our house" he chuckled and hugged me. "But, it's up to you." Sabi nya pa
Natutuwa ako, sobrang saya ko. This is the first time na nagusap kami sa future namin.
"I love you" wika ko
"I love you so much, zanne" tugon nya at hinarap ako para halikan.
"I'd give up anything for you and save you from anything, even though if risking my life means of saving you, I will" he said and sealed my lips with a kiss.
Umihip ang malakas na hangin na syang nagpayakap sa sarili ko i shrugged of the memory i remembered we had, andito ako ngayon nakaupo sa sahig at sinindihan ang kandila, naglagay din ako ng bulaklak syang pag alay sa kanya.
Matagal ang titig ko sa lapida, tumulo ang luha ko na syang pinunasan ko kaagad.
"Why did you have to do that" i said in a low voice, talking to the tombstone as if it'll answer me.
"Maiintindihan ko sana kung may malalim kang rason, pero ang babaw e, ang babaw" dagdag ko pa at pinunasan ang luha ko.
"No one wished for this to happen" tumingala ako sa langit, makulimlim ang langit at nagbabadyang umulan.
Tumayo na ako at hinanda ang sarili, tinitigan ko pa ang lapida bago nagsalita. "Its been 6 years, I forgive you" wika ko at tumalikod na.
Sumakay ako sa sasakyan ko, pagkaupo ko ay may tumunog na laruan na naupuan ko, kinuha ko iyon at pinagmasdan, kulay pink iyon at kapag pinpisil ay tumtunog.
Inalis ko rin yung mga laruang nasa dashboard dahil nakakadistract ang mga iyon, hindi ko naman maiwasang ngumiti nang makita ko ang isang maliit na backpack sa backseat.
Nagmaneho na ako pauwi ng bahay namin, pagkauwi ko ay narinig ko kaagad yung aso namin na tumatahol. I patted their head and they wagged their tails, pagkatapos ay pumasok na ako sa loob ng bahay. Inalis ko yung shades ko nung pagkapasok ko sa bahay.
"Saan sila?" Bungad ko kay yaya.
"Nasa itaas po ma'am" sagot nya at yumuko.
Nagpasalamat ako at iniwan ang sapatos sa shoe rack, iniwan ko rin yung bag ko pati car keys sa living area. Niluwagan ko ang damit ko bago umakyat sa taas.
"Mommy! Mommy!"
As soon as i opened the door, my two kids rushed to me and asking for me to carry them.
"Avilaine, you want me to carry you? You told me that you're big girl na diba?"
My 5 year old baby girl nodded and pouted before glancing at keith, my 4 year old son.
"Mommy, come. Ate drew me" said keith dragging me inside their play room. I saw some stuffed toys scattered on the ground, avilaine was playing cook by herself, getting sulked.
"Wow! Ate knows how to draw na?" I asked in excitement
"Yes, mommy!" Magiliw na tugon ni keith.
Avilaine simply walked towards us, touching the table, obviously she wants to get my attention.
I held my baby and tickled her tummy, she giggled and started to drool.
"My avilaine knows how to draw, i think we should celebrate it" wika ko
"Really Mommy?" Avilaine asked me with excitement.
"Of course, baby" i said and gave her a kiss in her cheeks.
"Mommy! I said im a big girl na" she cleaned her cheeks and getting disgusted about it.
"Okay then, I'll tell daddy about your drawing skills, come let's get dressed we're going to celebrate" sabi ko at binuhay si keith habang nakahawak sa kamay ko si avilaine.
Avilaine Kath, my first baby, she turned 5 last month and now ready to go to school tomorrow, she's starting to achieve and perceive new things by herself, how heart melting watching her grew up and discover things by herself.
While Azon Keith, just turned 4 a few months ago, he's really obsessed with dogs, he usually play outside with the dogs not with her sister.
"Mommy, did you visit daddy? Can i come next time?" I yelped when Avilaine stepped on my foot, she didn't notice it so i didn't mind it. I turned to keith and gave him a smile.
"Yes, of course, baby" tugon ko.
Pinaliguan na sila ng yaya nila, pumunta naman ako sa kwarto namin at naligo na rin. Pagkababa ko ay kita ko na agad ang dalawa kong anak na nag babangayan dahil sa isang laruan. I went to the kitchen to talk to the helpers, but then suddenly i heard keith crying.
"Mommy! Ate pushed me!" Pagsusumbong ni keith sakin.
"Avilaine, why did you do that?" I asked my daughter, she's wearing a pink dress and her hair has clips on it, while keith is wearing a shorts and a simple shirt with a handkerchief on his back.
"He's makulit mommy! I was just sitting here holding my toy but he's claiming that it was his toy!!" Avilaine explained, i tried to hide my smile, she's really after his dad, her attitude her skills and her way of thinking. I can't help not to smile.
"Keith, by any chance do you like color pink?" I asked my son. Oh my god.
"No mommy, i love black. I just need ate's toy for Oreo" wika ni keith, napahinga naman ako ng maluwag.
"Okay, but i told you it's bad to get something that isn't ours right? It's ate's toy, and besides, oreo won't play with the toys, she's a dog baby, she prefers playing with kids"
"But mo---"
My kids ran to the door as soon as someone came in, he carried our daughter and my son, both in his arms, he growled when the two started to move.
"Daddy!"
He came to me and kissed my cheek, i caressed his shoulder but keith kept on saying to carry him again, he carried our keith and avilaine went to me and hugging my waist, getting jealous of keith and her dad. I carried her too so that she wont get jealous.
"Let's go on a dinner, it's been so long since we had a family dinner and besides your daughter knows how to draw" i said and avilaine giggled.
"Really? Is that true kath?" Avilaine hid herself around my neck, she's shy about it.
"My daughter is shy!"
"No, I am not!" Avilaine said still hiding herself.
"Daddy, can i go to school too?" Keith asked.
"Yes you can, but wait until you turn 5"
"Avilaine, Keith, Your grandma, grandpa and tito zonne are coming with us" i said, my two kids nodded and started teasing with their dad.
"Okay, avilaine and keith go bring my coat to our room" the two kids rushed upstairs for the coat giggling and laughing with each other.
"Give me a hug, love. I'm kinda tired" Ilios said,and came to me, i welcomed him with open arms and hugged him.
"Did you visit him?" Ilios asked, yes ilios, we got married and now we're living in a peaceful life.
"Sod? Yes, nakapunta na ako, it's been 6 years love, he didn't have to die" i said in a low voice.
"It's okay love, it's not your fault" wika niya.
"Let's have dinner then you can rest okay" i said as i felt his hands encircling my waist.
"Yeah then let's make a baby." he said and laughed.
I had to hit him but ended up laughing. He pulled me closer and gave me a passionate kiss. He held on my neck and kissed me deeply, im giving him the pursuit of pleasure as im kissing him back, he pushed his tongue through my mouth and tasted every bit of me, memories flashed back in to my mind, those sacrifices, pain and problems, we overcame it together, by following our hearts and our love save us from the chaotic life we once had.
Keith came back and hugged his father tightly. Seeing them together having fun and playing with each other melts my heart, wala na akong mahihingi pa, nakamit ko na lahat ang gusto ko sa buhay, and im happy, everyone's happy, my parents, and the family i have. This is what i want from the very beginning, stable job, and a happy family, no problems at all.
Our world is a cruel place, and life too. When life knocks you down, get up and have trust in yourself, no one can make you happy if you yourself won't figure out what you want in this lifetime, if you have trust in yourself, the challenges and problems that life will give you can be surely overcome it by ourselves, we sometimes lost trust and won't believe in ourselves, and when that time comes we are surely lost in the way, so be brave, be brave and face those consequences without fear, don't let others belittle you, if you're doing the things you love, you'll surely achieve every major leagues you once aimed for.
And love don't forget to forgive and forget, there's no point of holding a grudge towards someone, if you're having a grudge on someone right now, forget about it, it will lead you to a silly decision and complicated life, free yourself, free yourself from what tortured you, if it hunts you, then let it hunt you, trust me it will be okay and be over soon. And when the world drives you crazy there is someone waiting impatiently to heal you.
The problem with us is that we forget that it's the small things that count, we do not remember days, because we remember moments. Seize the day, dont waste your time doing something you don't love, because you surely are wasting half of your life.
And for that last thing,
Sometimes we think that we want to disappear, but all we really want is to be found.
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